THE WORST GAMES EVER MADE

Yes, you're seeing right, this page is devoted to the bashing of the creme de la creme of Video Game crap. You know the games, like that title with crappy graphics, piss-poor play control, and a lackluster story that perhaps replaces the missing support for your couch. Or maybe that game that you torched in the fireplace. Perhaps one of these is sitting in the garage under some oil cans with a gestating moth larva inside. Perhaps you remember giving it to your dog as a new chew-toy. Yep, these are the loser games that we all wonder what on earth the creators were thinking when they made such total trash. This page gives you a chance to express your stories of such gaming nightmares and comiserate with other gamers who've all been there.

Trust me, I've been there. Let's look at a few of my experiences with some ultimate failures that ended up in the "Will never play that one again" pile in the closet.

Quest 64. Top on my list. You know, when I got an N64 I just couldn't wait for a cool RPG or Adventure title to come out for this system remembering all the greats on SNES. I waited and waited, knowing Zelda was coming eventually didn't quench my thirst for a 64-bit Nintendo RPG, and I read previews for the N64's first RPG/Adventure called Quest 64, and thought that it had some potential. From what I was able to gather at the time there wasn't much info on this game before it came out except some rather good looking screenshots. So, the week it came out, I bought Quest 64 (what an idiot) and was extremely disappointed. I actually spent $70 on this doorstop! As it turned out, Quest 64 sucked by the extremest measure of the word. I mean, the main character was this little stubby monk named Brian, with a wooden walking stick as his only weapon, and he had these four elemental Magic attacks that all sucked. There was an almost non-existant storyline, crappy play control, the enemies looked stupid, the music was corny, polygon jitter was abundant, lousy low-res texture mapping, Brian couldn't jump, the battle system was boring, and the game had NO ENDING whatsoever. This game's only redeeming quality was that it's plastic was recyclable. I tried to return it to the store (Toys R' Us), but they said since I took it out of the package and they would only extange it for the same game. Man, I was infuriated. What a rip-off! I have never played this clunker since then, and it collects some mucho dust in my gaming graveyard. The irony of this incident to me is that I remember when the N64 first released Nintendo said it was going to focus on quality games rather than quantity. If this game is quality then they need to check the dictionary for the meaning of the word, because this game was WAY in the opposite direction of "quality." Final Fantasy's VII and VIII are light-years better than this infantile debotchery of a "quest." One thing that I think Nintendo has suffered from is the lack of decent RPG's aside Zelda 64 (and technically it's not an RPG). I hear Earthbound is supposedly coming out someday soon (I remember hearing about this one back in early '96) but I'm pretty skeptical about it being all that great considering the track record. I just see the N64 as more or less "you're little brother's gaming machine" with umpteen doofy kiddy games, loads of ho-hum Playstation copycats, and a handful of shining lights of salvation like Shadows, Goldeneye, Rouge, and Zelda 64. (I Prey for Perfect Dark, for crying out loud RELEASE this game already!) They seem to be making an attempt at attracting an older audience by pairing up with Capcom (a real old buddy) lately with Resident Evil 2 (better late than never right), and others. I kind of think Zelda, the steamroller franchise Pokemon, and maybe SWE1: Racer are about the only few things keeping the Nintendo afloat right now. I hope that Project Dolphin will change this routine Nintendo's gotten into. There do seem to be many more top developers including Square, Konami, Namco, and Capcom interested in Dolphin, so we'll just have to wait and see what comes out of the wash in the news with their new console, because I kind of think the N64 is on the outs only somewhat stalled by Gaiden, Perfect Dark, Pokemon Stadium, and a couple others so over time we will see probably less and less N64 games, and eventually none. The one thing that could have made this system whip the tar out of the Playstation would have been CD-ROM storage. Nintendo's "old faithful" carts just didn't pan out the way things could have been for them. Imagine Zelda 64 on a CD with far more characters and options and a massive Hyrule to explore. All in all I think Dolphin and Playstation 2 are going to make a good match up judging by preliminary specifications of the two systems and we gamers could see the best games ever made if the competition gets hot enough for the companies who make these systems.

Here's a list of some others that receive dishonorable mention. Dinowarz for the Nintendo. It was a birthday present from my Grandma. I completed this game in an hour and never played it again. Total crap. Dino Riki for the Nintendo. Horrid Play Control and trillions of "cheap hits." California Games. Ultimately boring. Goonies II for Nintendo. Couple bad graphics with a poor storyline and mix in slow as molases play control and you've got yourself a piece of crap conversion of a so-so movie. Skate or Die. Put me to sleep, and the play control was awful. Shaq Fu. Rented it for a day, came back the same day and demanded a Refund! Smash TV. A very pointless shooting spree that gets old fast. Batman and Robin. Save yourself the aggrivation, don't ever play this game! Yoshi's Cookie. Need I say more? Spawn for the Super Nintendo. One of my favorite comic book characters made into terrible game. Did Todd McFarlane play this? Shyeah Right! There was just so much potential wasted there. Crusin' USA. This game could have been good, but it just wansn't there for me. I wasted my money on this one when the Nintendo 64 first came out.

Want to gripe about a crappy game, then now's you're chance. Describe which game you hate the most and what it is you hate about it. I know there are quite a few junk games out there so this discussion could get lengthy.

Add My Review of a Stinker

Andy Laments: Ugh. Bad Games. I have a multitude of 'em piled up. Top on my list is Superman 64. It looks like they put this game together in 15 minutes. It's almost like one of those 20% completed demos you see at E3. My God, this game is horrible. The controls barely respond, the sound is repetitive and boring, and the levels are all nearly identical! Next on my list? Pokemon Snap. I rented this game, played for an hour, beat EVERY SINGLE THING on it, and returned it the same night. I got pictures of every creature, all the signs, the rare Pokemon, and I beat all the challenge scores. The level of Gameplay on this game is truly pathetic. Nintendo needs some good games, and fast. Donkey Kong 64 was supposed to be better then Zelda, but of course Nintendo is rushing it to have it out by Christmas. If this keeps up, I'm trading in my N64 and games for some more Dreamcast stuff. :)

Ampson Tells: Hey Video Gamer X! I Been a long time fan of your sites! GREAT JOB. Okay, let's get to the point. The game I think is one of the worst video games of all time has gotta be Yoshi's Story. **shivers** Just thinking about the name sickens me so. I don't know if it's just me getting older or this game REALLY sucks. Man, this game got too much hype for its own good. I actually thought the game's graphics were pretty good, before it came out. In fact a lot of people did. Unfortunetly, that was the only thing going for it, that and Yoshi. Did you notice how the hype was building for it (hoping it would be as good as Yoshi's Island) and when it came out, it quickly buried its self under a rock? This is SO boring to play! The gameplay was bad, the "story" is exciting as watching ants going through the lawn, the bosses were VERY easy and not innovative(like the final boss!!!), and the music was down right boring and sleepy. I beat this game in 30 minutes and beat a couple more times. But after a day, I couldn't stand it. I just put it where all my other n64 games are and left it there, although it's not worthy of being there. I'll sell this game for anything. Man, I remember seeing previews for this game years ago. What a big let down and rip off. Heck, Yoshi's Story is one reason why I got a playstation. This definetly reinforces the saying: "Don't judge a book by its cover." Now I really wish I would have rented it before I bought it. Well, we gotta learn from our mistakes. Thanx for listening to me! You're a great webmaster, dude! Keep up the good, no wait, GREAT work!

GFX2000 Complains: hey VGX!! Haven't seen ya in a LOOONG TIME (or have i ever seen you at all?!) anyways,i have a bad game.it's called South Park.The controls suck (like Turok's),the game is easy,and there isn't any tough "Monsters".The only thing that is good about it (and it lasts about 5 minutes) is the humor,which gets repetitive VERY shortly. Also, how about Body Harvest?The controls REALLY sucked on that one, the action was also mild. Actually i got so sick (Literly) of playing the game,i threw up...it looked cool in the previews,i just have one question,WHY?

TripleRaid Grumbles: Your web site's are the best on the net! Well I think the worst game evermade is Superman 64! Let's face it the game was a dud. As far as I am concerned they can just throw it in the trash along with all the other games that Titus has made. The graphics are the worst I have ever seen, It makes the N64 go to shame! Well I guess it was just another cheap game by Titus. Well I have to go now. BYE

Casey B. Tylek Gripes: I think one hellava bad game would have been WcW nitro. Enough said. They made great games like world tour and revenge, but what the hell went wrong with Nitro? the gamesucked. the moves were slow, and it was unworthy of the letters N64.

DarkLink Trashes: Super Smash Brothers. man-this one sucked! I thought it would be a great turnout. maybe a little bit of a spinoff of Mortal Kombat with nintendo charaters. Turns out it is a kiddie game where they don't die-just faint and fall off the screen. At least see them lie there like they are passed out! No, just falling into oblivion. And it is repititous. No storyline. Playing the same people again, and again, and again. Man, what a waste of cartridge space! The only good thing I saw in it was I could pause it and get some good shots of Link out of Zelda for my site. Otherwise it, well, sucked.

Z-Master Cringes at: ...Wave Race, really easy to beat, horrible control response, bad plot, etc. All those other bad games appeared to take 10-15 minutes to make but Wave Race looks like it took only 30 seconds to make!

Flatlander Says: Hey VGX, I'll tell you a stupid game: Pok�mon Snap. Me and my friends rented it and beat it within 2 hours. No players guide, no hints. We say it suxs. There is no point in the game to keep playing it. It is so BORING!!!!!! I almost burned the game (except if I did I'd hafta pay 60 bucks for a stupid game that wasn't even mine heh heh heh) it was so awful. I think that you should put this on the top 10 of stupid games. By the way, I don't want my e-mail address on there as the nominee of this stupid game cuz of all the hate mail from Pok�mon fans. I only despize this one game of Pok�mon, (probably cuz I haven't even Played the rest) k?

Joe Cringes About: Ever played Power Rangers for the Sega Genises? I didn't want to... my mom took me and two cousins to rent a video game, and it was my younger cousin's turn to pick. He picked the stupidest game on the planet (figures, he's a blonde) and forced me to play it. All it is is a fighting game-a "cutsie" Mortal Kombat with the crappiest music ever, the crappiest control ever, the crappiest look to it ever, etc. I beat it myself on all of the settings (there were like four) in about 20 minutes. That's only five minutes on each setting! And I'm not the best at fighting games. In fact, I stick mostly with RPG and adventure. I'll tell you, whoever decided to make that game must've been drunk or something, because I wouldn't even release a game that crappy (I'm an ameture programmer)!

Dhsu Puts In Sarcastically: Super Mario Brothers for NES. Man this one sucked. The graphics suck and the storyline is nonexistant. Turns out it is a kiddie game where you don't die - just faint and fall off the screen. At least see Mario lie there like he passed out! No, just falling into oblivion. And it is repetitious. No storyline. Playing the same enemies again, and again, and again. Hehehe, sorry for copying DarkLink's comment. I was just trying to make a point. Just because there is no graphic violence doesn't mean it's a horrible game. In fact, excessive violence is why Mortal Kombat is so bad (remind me to put it on my worst games list). "Kiddie" may just mean unbelievably fun.

JAYGEE1 Explains: Okay, I was coming up with this list while reading the page, so don't expect a full on article. Okay, I want to get out that games that are beaten in 1 day don't neccesarily suck. Banjo Kazooie (N64) and Ducktales (NES) are two that are strong candidates. The graphics and fun of each game ruled, but the challenge was low. A lot of NES games sucked. Back then, they churned out piles of crap every week at $60 a pop so that the market would live. I don't trade in games. I keep them to remind myself, I worked hard for that festering pile of dog sweat. Some games just suck, like South Park on the N64 and "shudder" the PSX which looks even worse (Is that possible?) Sega had some bad ones back in the day like Rise 2: Ressurection and Sewer Shark? Remember those? Sega thought that since the game was a CD, FMV would make a game all that better. I still don't know how to play Sewer Shark to the 3rd level. Some games would be fun if things were changed. Skate or Die would be fun, if the friggin' bees didn't chase you. But there were gawd awful games that just made you slap down that controller and cuss out loud. Karnov was one, Barbie was another. God! Even with cheats I couldn't beat the last level! If a 15 year old can't, how can a 6-8 year old? (Insert laugh here.) But we should be happy there are less sucky games out today.

Another Quest Hater Says: Ok you want to know how I feel about Quest? It totaly SUCKS!!! The Chicken molesters that made that game. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??? If someone finds out something realy realy realy cool about this game, please let us know!! And then...only Then, will I eat my words!

REXICON1 Dislikes: N64 is really startin to get on my nerves with all these little "happy-kiddie games" that my little brother is ashamed to play. One of the greatest loads of dog doo-doo out there is that lamer of a game called Yoshi's Story. My lord how cute can Nintendo get. I thought Pok�mon had broken the cute barrier, but no they had to make this. First off the controls are horrible, the enemies are ridiculously easy to beat, and the bosses are suppossed to challange you not make you regurgitate your lunch. The STORY is crap total and complete crap. I cannot believe someone with a college degree would make a story that 2 year olds find stupid.

The next load of bull**** is an real dud of a game with a huge hype for playstation was Saga Frontier. Sprites piss me off, and this game is nothing but sprites. It had a good idea, 6 different types of magic and you have to complete certain tasks to get them. Sounds good right, but somehow this game got a good idea and shoved it down the drain. Also the idea of intervening story plots sounds good until it get monotonous. Hour after hour i spent trying to figure out some things only to discover, THEY WERENT THERE. The game hypes you up only to let you down again >:| grrr.

Moguls2385 Is Dissing: Oh boy. The list of games I hate is gigantic...But the one on top of the list...the big stink...Is probably Mortal Kombat. Ugh. ::trembles:: No story-line. Pick the guy you've been picking for years on the NES and stuff. Bing, Bang...fatality. That's it. Yeah, Sheeva and Smoke and the others are new, but I think they should hang up the trilogy. The movies sucked ( except the first ) and they really lost money. Capcom lost it's luster for me.

Just so you know Moguls, Mortal Kombat is actually made by Midway, and yeah, you're right, it's just the same regurgitated stuff over and over since the early '90's. The first time around it was original, but nothing drastic seems to change with this game. Excessive blood and pointless unrealistic violence seems to be the only thing that made it sell and over time the quality of the game has somewhat depreciated in comparison to others in it's genre. Since I've played Soul Caliber, there's no fighting game made to date that compares with the quality and control of this game and there's no blood. Hmm...I guess good fighters can be made without blood heh? I have some fighters in my game collection (Virtua Fighter, Tekkens, Street Fighers, Mortal Kombat, etc.) , and they are all rendered obsolete by Soul Caliber.

AkiraZora Complains: Badness comes in degrees, but MarioParty is up there. Stupid Boardgame that is soooo old. I hate Mario. I hate Bowser. I hate Peach, especially. They are old, Miaymoto. They stink. Making a board game to staple " Mario isn't going anywhere" on the gamers' forehead is putting them off. The've lost it! The rolly-polly game play and sound sucked. The basis iself is horrible. Hah. I don't want to bite your head off, but one more thing... Playstation came out, saying " Mario is something your little bro will play. Crash Bandicoot is way more sophisticated!" And...honestly..it's true! Mario is pulling the whole Nintendo Franchise under! Sure, he made it big back in 1985, but in the gaming industry, that ancient. The money Nintendo has lost to Mario and his blood-sucking pals is huge. Link, honestly, should become the Nintendo mascot. By the way...SUPER SMASH BROS RULES!

Spencer Crawford Says: Hi VGX. I have one game which I thought needed to be on this list. It was the N64 game: Rouge Squadron. I wouldn't say it was a really horrible game, but they could have just done such a better job on it. Same l5 short levels over and over again. The secret vehicles and missions added a little to it, but after a week or two. It gets so boring! It had no multiplayer, no customization, no vs. matches, no training missions. I think this proves that Nintendo really needs to slow down and put quality into a lot of there games. That's all I have to say.

HARDPUNK Hates: Micro Machines 64 turbo was so terrible it was boring the characters were annoying and the graphics looked like something I could have drawn on MS paint.

Kko Crumbles Says: ok i don't see why "SSB" "super smash brothers" sucks it kicked major ass me and my friend play me pikachu to him captain falcon for hours its a fun game i think one of the best fighting games,but over all id have to say the worst yet greatly anticipated game was mortal kombat mythologies it sucked like anything that ever sucked you have to press a button to turn around? thats soo frigin lame and crapy control there were some fun parts and ok grafix but the rest was way to easy except getting the bloopers at the end if u finish off the big dude but over its a 4.. and yes yoshi's story sucked because key word it was to easy i beat the game w/ both secret yoshis and never lost a life the levels were totally lame and the control was okay but i would give it a 5.

jmoss_12 Dislikes: One of the games I think should be on your worst games list is Bass Hunter 64. I is almost impossible to catch a fish and when you do it is only 5 ounces. The game locked up on me 5 times in the first night. 4 times when when driving the boat around 1 time when I was looking at the records. this game looked like it would fly but it only sank. the next day I took it back to the game store to get back my money. Your web sites are the best.

David G. Comments: Some of the crapiest games ever made have to have come from the Mortal Kombat series. On most of them the graphics suck. They are totaly unrealistic (Have you punched someone in the gut and had blood come out of them?). The plots the creators attempt to put in suck. The next piece of crap on my list has to be Super Contra for the NES. The little plot that is in there sucks. The game itself is way to easy. When I play a game, I want 5 things: Good Graphics (for the system), Great plot, Origonal weapons, great landscapes, and last but most definetly not least... IT CANNOT BE THE KIND OF GAME YOU CAN BEAT IN 5 HOURS!!!!!!!!

The Almighty Scythium Pokes Pokemon: In my opinion, the worst game I have ever played is Pokemon. Now, before I get pokemaniacs jumping down my throat, let me explain. To me, a good game depends on a good story, good graphics (Although they aren't crucial), a soundtrack that complements the game, good play control, challenge, and enough replay value to keep you going until the end of time.

Pokemon's story is nothing new. It reminded me of the Tamagotchi game when I first heard about it. Raising creatures and traveling to fight others? Trying to become the world's greatest master of it? Nothing new there. Enticing? Not hardly. The concept hadn't been performed well in the past, but at least this did better then other attempts.

Good graphics? Yes, I know how hard it is to get good graphics onto the Game Boy, but Metroid: Return of Samus did it. Link's Awakening did it perfectly on the pale-spinach colored screen. Why couldn't Pokemon do something better on the color game boy?

A soundtrack? Well, Pokemon performed averagely in this category. Yes, there was okay sound; The music didn't make you mute the game too often, so I guess something can be said about it.

Good play control? Yes. It had easy to grasp play control. That is probably the only thing that can be said about it: When you play pokemon, you pick it up pretty fast.

Challenge? I repeat, challenge? There wasn't much. I borrowed it from a friend and beat it in half an hour. You were always one step ahead of everyone else, so it didn't make it too challenging to beat.

Replay value? Yes, you can catch them all pretty easily, build them up pretty fast, and then the only thing left to do is find the one or two glitches hidden in the game. Of course, unlike Zelda 64, the glitches in Pokemon can RUIN your game utterly.

For me, pokemon had no appeal. But I'm sure that many disagree. Otherwise, they wouldn't have made a card game....

How dare thee blaspheme Poke'mon, lest thee wish marauding hordes of Elementary Schoolers to pound thee into submission with their stuffed Pikachus! Well, first off, let me say that he does provide good points from the perspective of an older gamers like myself. I personally have played the game Poke'mon, and wasn't at all impressed as much as the younger set are. It wasn't that bad, but it just wasn't that great either. The premise of the game seems to get old rather fast, and I lost interest rather quickly without any decent storyline or customization. And he's right, this is nothing new at all. Any one played Monster Rancher for the Playstation that came out a couple years ago? Almost the same thing, but at least in Monster Rancher you had the surprise of putting any old CD into the PSX and getting a different monster each time. I've played the card game, and don't see it holding a candle to the quality and depth of Magic: The Gathering. Mark my words, Poke'mon is a fad feeding off mass marketing and consumer hysteria, like Beanie Babies, Tomagotchi, and Furby. It will eventually quell as the "hottest new thing" eclipses yesterday's news.

CloudS1532 Says While Wrapped in Straight Jacket: I rented this game, finished it in an afternoon(I'm not very good at platform games), and got so bored I decided to watch the little Yoshis suffer. They don't even DIE! They just get sad. I wanted to at least see them writhe if nothing else

Ninja Man Speaks Disparagingly About: I'd seriosly like to bitch about South Park, man that game was as blands as a friggin' McDonalds Coke, There were 2 types of main enemy, Normal and Tank, Just different skins, the weapons sucked, the humour was pathetic ( I don't really like the show, but At least on the show its kinda funny) and really, the backgrounds were as interesting as pokahontas on the Gameboy (Almost none at all)

2nd on the chopping block, Pokemon Yellow for Gameboy. I am a pokemon freak, And played this game on a mates gameboy colour. Oh God!! That little anonnyinh rat wouldn't shut up, and It was Pokemon Red/Blue But soemthing was missing, that made it boring and really kinda crap.

3rd And last SuperMan 64 Like some other guy said: It looks like an E3 Preveiw, And I agree with that but Even Turok (A pretty average game in itself) Had a better dissapearing point then that friggin excuse for a game, add in gameplay so boring it'd put a newly wed couple to sleep before they got their Clothes off and You've got a shocker.

In case you can't notice, i really hate bland and boring games, and thats why these 3 are on by bastard list. (PKMN yellow doesnt have soemthing the Red/Blue versions had)

Jumpin_Jack_Flash Grudges: Hey Video Gamer X, you kick ass man! These sites of yourz are cooller than $h!*. Anyway, I have to say that pokemon really sucks! The graphics on the gameboy versoin are so so, and the game is boring. The N64 game is boring and stupid! Pokemon Snap, I mean COME On HERE! All these little kids think its cool and it's driving me nutz! All I ever hear is pokemon, pokemon, pokemon! Gimmie a break already, enough with it! My little brother keeps bugging me to play pokemon with him on his Gameboy and really I don't want to. Its just so stupid, What is up with Nintendo? playstation rulz and N keeps makin sucky games! Nintendo needs to do something fast or people are going to hate them when pokemon aint cool with the kids no more. Thats all I have to say






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