 PSYCHO LETTER OF THE MONTH: JULY
Since I'm getting more mail again, I figured I would inaugurate a new series of letters of the month awards, this time with a twist toward the insane, the morbidly bizarre, and the just plain psycho. I saw a magazine do this once, so I figure, why not, and sure enough this month's entry certainly deserves this esteemed status. Now this is what I call journalism at it's finest. You gotta check this out, kiddies. I love this girl. She's bad ass. Check out what's leaking from Kisaru's skull...
KISARU WOULD LIKE TO FLAME AERIS!
I'd just like to say that I'm a girl. I like Final Fantasy VII. I like anime. I like Nintendo. Mario, Link, and Sheik are my favorite Nintendo characters (they switch around a lot). I've played Final Fantasy VIII to the second disk. I read your page about Final Fantasy Girls. I think Cloud, Vincent, and Sephiroth are the best Final Fantasy men. And one final statement.
I HATE AERIS!!!
GOD DO I HATE HER!!! She's EVIL!!! All of my guy friends LOVE her for some reason. My best friend (a girl) thinks she's the most powerful character. I HATE Aeris. I want to revive her so I can kill her with my maseko blasts! First, SHE'S UGLY!!! I don't get you guys who think she's "hot" and all. Sure, her dress is pretty, but what are those bracelets??? She's trying to be an Amazon Sister?? Second, her hair!! I'm a person who doesn't really like guys that much. Sure, I sometimes fight with my friend about who like Shuuichi Minamino more. But I'm not a perv. And the only REAL reason I like boys is because they have hair that goes with their cool personalities. That's why I like Sephiroth. He's got super cool hair. Then along comes Aeris who has the EXACT (except for the braid) SAME HAIR STYLE!! Only GUYS are supposed to have that hair style you jerk! Ka.me.ha.me.HA!!! You're dead! Then Aeris says, "I can't believe you just killed me, you meanie!" Then I say, "F U." Third, her EVIL personality! She STOLE Cloud away from Tifa!!! I mean, it would've been okay if it hadn't been obviously stated that Cloud has a crush on Tifa. What's all this crap about the promise? I swear, Cloud didn't forget about Tifa, Aeris BRAINWASHED HIM!! Your personality doesn't match your EVIL outfit! I thought you had just met Cloud and it was quote "nothing." You're a liar and a jerk! Crap on your face! First time I played FF7 I said absolutely nothing when Aeris died. Except when Seph was running her through I said, "Woo! Go Seph!" because Sephiroth was my favorite character back then. The second time I played, I was about to destroy my PC. Quote "DAMN YOU AERIS!!! CLOUD IS MINE!!! YOU HEAR??? MINE!!!!! CLOUD! STOP CRYING YOU MORON!!! YOU'RE CRYING FOR THE WRONG REASONS! YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY THAT WEAKLING'S GONE! DAMMIIIIITTT!!!!" That's another thing. SHE WAS WEAK.. PATHETIC. WEAK. WEAK. DUMB. PATHETIC. PATHETIC!!! She looked SO DUMB when she fought!! Was she even trying??? When Cloud was doing 1300 damage, she was doing 170!!! Damn you! You wasted my time!! Then she goes off and dies right when her limit breaks become helpful! She FORCES me to take her to the Temple of the Ancients! I was like, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" No compassion!!!! Cloud ALWAYS ends up dating Aeris! I even called her a slum drunk! I bought her dumb flower, gave it to Tifa, I got chosen at the Don's, I NEVER carried her with me, I left her behind in the Gongaga town! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO??? And Aeris doesn't even have a crush! She just ASSUMES that Cloud likes her. "The deal was for one date right?" Insert dumb giggle right there. "Oh. I get it." "Tifa! You're there too?" She's thinking, *YES!! I knew it! In your face!* When Cloud was beating Aeris up, I was laughing! Ha ha ha!! Man! That's so funny! I HATE YOU AERIS!!!! I want to rip you to pieces!!
Aeris: Hi. I'm Aeris.
Kisaru: My name is Kisaru. You took my Cloud. Prepare to die. *repeat* *repeat* *repeat* *repeat* *repeat*
Aeris: Cloud! Oh my god! Save me!
Cloud: Hell no! *thumbs up* *smiles*
Kisaru: *thumbs up* *smiles*
Aeris: OH MY GOD! I STAINED MY SHIRT WITH ALL OF MY EVIL!!!!!!!
Kisaru: Good Guess. *run her through* *townspeople cheer*
Everyone except Aeris: YAY!
Tifa: Now I can be with Cloud forever!
Kisaru: Think again, hotshot!
GOD DO I HATE YOU AERIS!!! @$#*@&$#@#&^@*$&@*&!!!!!!!!!!! You made everyone love YOU so you could deceive all of them and die and they'd be all sad! You LIKE torturing people!! All you needed was an altar! Gosh! Couldn't it have been a SAFER altar? Take martial art training like Tifa, you weakling! You think just because you're an Ancient YOU know everything! She keeps Materia in her hair! Because of her stupidity, Cloud couldn't get to the white materia! DARN YOU!!! *trying to breathe deeply**sigh* I just had to get that out. I'm sorry I took your time.
|
Ahh....yeah.... *steps slowly backward, then runs like hell*
BACK TO VIDEO GAMER X
|