BARN = arena

BISCUIT = a puck. Wayne Gretzky butters them and goalies eat them. A biscuit in the basket is a goal.

BUCKET/LID = a helmet that protects the melon.

BUTTERFLY = what a goalie does when he goes down under control and flips both pads out in opposite directions.

CEMENTHEAD = a player with considerably less than 50-goal potential whose manner of play suggests that he's going to hurt somebody. Cement is a rather dense substance, of course. Most cementheads have driveways that don't go all the way to the street.

DONUT LINE = a forward line with two good wingers but no center.

FIVE HOLE = the area between the goaltender's pads. (top right corner = one, lower right = two, etc)

FLOATER = a player who spends about 60 of the 82 games performing like he's on his back in a rubber raft offshore a South Sea isle. Floating as a true art form has been perfected since the advent of the Player's Association, expansion and multi-year contracts. Floaters still fulfill a nightly quota of 2 or 3 shots on goal via Express Mail from the blue line, then hustle to the bench to get ready for their next shift.

GASSED = to be traded, waived, released, or fired.

GOON = a goon is something a cementhead will tell you he isn't

GORDIE HOWE HAT TRICK = one goal, one assist, and a fight in the same game.

HELICOPTER LINE = opposite of the donut line -- good centers, no wingers.

ICE HUGGER = a shot that stays right on the ice.

LADIES TEES = point man on the power play that moves to top of circles before shooting the puck instead of shooting it from long range.

MELON = a hockey player's head, often seedless.

MUCKER = a sweat hog, willing to go into the corners. A grinder is a mucker who is actually accomplishing something.

MUSHROOM = keep you in the dark covered with fertilizer and expect you to grow into a superstar.

PILON/TURNSTILE = defenseman who can't keep opponents in front of him.

PIPE POLISHER a goaltender.

POND = a hockey rink, generally a 200 by 85 foot surface where grown men wearing short pants spend 60 minutes hitting each other with their sticks.

PUT THE BISCUIT IN THE BASKET = to put the puck in the net.

SAUCER = a floating pass where the puck, despite being off the ice, stay flat. Players take great pride in thier saucer pass, much like a quarterback enjoys throwing a tight spiral.

SIN BIN = a penalty box.

SIX-BY-FOUR, IN THE BACK DOOR = slang used by a goal scorer, often times in the face of the goaltender he just beat. Other goal slangs include: "shelf", "tickle the twine", "dent the mesh".

SLUG = a mushroom that does not grow into a superstar.

SQUARED = to be hit with a puck in the groin. Victims are generally left on all fours, probably because there is no place else to go. It only hurts when you laugh, cry, or breathe. A side effect is cursing the day you were born.

TARGETS = goaltenders

TOP SHELF = high into the net. Downstairs is usually more effective, unless the goalie is about 4 feet tall. But it looks better going upstairs.

TWIG = fine crafted wood instrument used by goal scorers.

"YA WANNA GO" = let's fight. Proper use in a sentence: "O.K. Doughhead! Ya wanna go?"

ZEBRA = A gentleman in a white and black-striped shirt who has just sent you to the penalty box. From here on in, he is known as a jackass.

GOON = someone with one digit in the goals column and three digits in the penalty minutes column.

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