Hello, my name is Jen, and I live in a shoebox. Hypothetically, it�s a dorm room, but I am not that na�ve. Let�s take a moment and look at the comparison, shall we?

First we�ll look at architecture. A shoebox is a structure with four sides, a bottom, and a removable lid. My shoebox also consists of nothing more than four sides, a top, and a bottom. As for the lid being removable, our plaster ceiling crumbles quite frequently and thus could probably be broken through about as easily as cardboard.

What about size and space? A shoebox is quite small and cramped, and you never seem to have enough room for all the things you have to fit inside it. The same is true for my shoebox. In fact, think about all the shoeboxes you have used for storage in your life. Once they�re crammed full of stuff, you definitely cannot see the bottom of the box. Again, true for my live-in shoebox as well. I haven�t seen the floor since the day I moved in.

On that note, lets talk about contents. People will throw anything they have lying around into an old shoebox, just so they can say it�s somewhere, and alleviate their guilt with some sort of an illusion of organization. In my shoebox, my roommate and I have accumulated quite a conglomeration of useless junk. We have everything: clothes, papers, last weeks assignments, books, magnetic poetry on the door, (and floors, and drawers...), Sprite cans that multiply like rabbits, multiple copies of syllabi that we won�t find until next semester, the missing link, a partridge in a pair tree, and, of course, shoes. Thousands of shoes.

Cleanliness is another. Things are left in storage shoeboxes so long that they often collect a fine layer of dust, and, (depending on how much of a slob you are), sometimes mold. I�ve switched shoeboxes several time here at William Paterson, and I�ve seen mold on the rusty sink pipes, the heater vents that don�t work anyway, the crumbling ceilings, the inside of the broken desk drawers, and even inside the spacious shower stalls (to achieve that shower-fresh feeling every time). Not to mention dust-bunnies (dust mammoths?) that should be (and probably are) listed in the Guinness Book of World Records.

As you can see, I, and many other students here at our prestigious university, have the unique privilege of experiencing life inside an actual shoebox. It can be challenging, stressful and difficult, and yet almost entertaining at times. And thus I bring to you weekly, Horror Stories from the Shoebox. You�ll laugh, you�ll cry, but mostly, you�ll shudder with empathy and fear.

(Written by Jennifer Sinclair, her colleague Satan�s Little Helper, and a hardworking staff of 47 and a half dust-bunnies).

Contact Jen at [email protected])

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