Of course, I moved closer to God. I was usually the first person to get to the fellowship, on fellowship days, �Wole Sowunmi (that guy, a very ambitious, enduring, responsible and brilliant personality) would bemoan me, reprimand me that why should I leave work and say I am going to church when we have lots to do. I used to wash cars with him in order for us to get our daily bread. Yeah, he taught me the Sine and Cosine Rule and Formula. I was not in the class when it was being taught, I was somewhere looking for what to eat, and I am grateful to him to this day that he taught me that topic in Mathematics. I am sure he will be doing well now, wherever he is, we had prepared for it. His story was close to mine, except that they (he and his brother) had their mother around them. Dear Lady, take good care of your man, don�t allow anyone to come near him, forget about gossips. Don�t trust in it, many have snatched many partners through that method, take good care of your man. My fourth year in the secondary was the most eventful of all my secondary school years. In that year, I left home. That same year I became born again, that same year, I knew my mother, that same year, I started fending for myself, that same year, I knew the Oresanyas (I will come to their influence in my life shortly), that same year, I became the Chapel Prefect, that same year of all the years I spent in the secondary school, I did not win a single prize and I dwindled to about 11th position in a class of about 45. I will never forget that year.

  I came in contact with the Oresanya twins for the first time when I came home from Uncle Diran�s, Yomi, my brother, told me that their school will play a football game with one other school and that it is known that, that other school usually use mercenaries and for that matter he would like me to please play for his school. That was how I went to play the football for Yomi�s school and I came in contact with the Oresanyas. These guys are twins and I am sure they are more original than photocopies, I mean it, you cannot distinguish between them, only their mother can actually know that this is Taiwo and this is Kehinde, Of course, I knew them immediately but it took me some days of acquaintance to do that. Not only this, if you think that it is only in facial appearance that they are alike you are joking. These guys also speak with the same accent, pitch, or what have you, and don�t go away yet, they usually get the same marks in Maths and English (hey, they were never in the same class) actually, it was because the teachers thought they copy and spy one another that they put them in different classes, but no, they are both good academically and when they found that out they nevertheless separated them and of course despite this, it happened in several terms, whenever they add their total marks together it amounts to the same thing even though they got different marks in other subjects. I am lucky indeed to have met, interacted and befriended these twins. The Oresanya family became my family, the earliest and the first family I lived with partially when I left my father�s house for Imose. (Apart from the Oresanya family, I also lived with the Oyekan Family, Kuku Family and of course last but not the least: the Eperokun Family) Mr. Oresanya was a lecturer at a Public Health School, a very wise man, he earlier on thought I left home because I was indolent or lazy, it took him just one week to change his mind. This man was very philosophical too. But I was surprised one day that he did not know the Bible very well (perhaps he feigned it) well, nevertheless, I learnt a lot from this man. He was one of those people God used to build me. So, the Oresanya Family became my family not because I like the twins and wanted to be close to them but because deep down inside of me I knew that I couldn�t just live alone with no bridle, I needed a family to interact and be with, get disciplined sometimes in order for me to have focus and attention to my goals and study. Not only this, the first time I set my eyes on Bukola Oresanya their elder sister, I fell in love with her immediately. So I made it a point of duty whenever their father had travelled to sleep over and be with Bukola Oresanya. Apart from the two Sola Lawals, I have actually not fallen in love with someone like that before as Bukola Oresanya. But you know, in Yoruba land, you cannot say you want to date someone who is older than you. Funny enough, she was just two years older than me. Well, I devised the trick of calling her my school mother instead. But don�t go now, reader, she happened to get admitted to the College of Education at Ijebu -� Ode when I was suffering to cater for myself and do you know what, my inquisitive mind made me to look through her books one day and guess what I saw: notes on how to learn! I was happy. I took the books, borrowed them from her and started learning various methods of learning, child psychology and how to develop good brains and potentials. That was a big advantage to me then and thereafter when I was at the Universities. She had a darling Brother: Niyi! Niyi, a very brilliant student too. We used to call him a King among Blind people, because he attended Molipa High School, a school where if he comes first in class with 95%, the next person who would come second would obtain 55%. That was the time also that I came in contact with the Odukoyas. I was particularly closer to one who was fond of coming to me so that we could compete on who can read faster, she loved reading. Her sister read medicine or something and her father was into the accounting profession as much as I could remember.

  The Oresanyas offered me the opportunity of seeing how girls grow up. The two Oresanya sisters were the best examples of good girls I have ever come across in my sojourn in life. They did all sorts of household chores, and were not lacking in their studies too. In fact, the Oresanya family is a good family where children are grown and developed and not raised. Apart from the various training that �Eleda Mi� had made me gone through in my various stay with some selected families that happened upon my path, I was yet reclusive. Mrs. Eperokun tried a lot to make me come out of my �shell� (as she used to say) but I had so much to think of, and to imagine that I never really went out of my �shell� (do I have one? Ha Ha Ha, - I laugh -). Even though I found the Oresanyas to be friendly, I was always staying away, preferring to be independent than to be dependent, preferring to be alone than to be in company. Was I solitary because of the intricacies of the circumstances that wound themselves around my situations? Well, I don�t know, but one thing is sure, I always wanted to be alone and do everything by myself. I always wanted to sweat things out rather than take what has already been done by another person. I was always reluctant, shy or even afraid to ask people for help. My step mother put that fear in me! In fact, I always feel slighted whenever I was forced out of my circumstances to ask people for help. The struggles were not made easier by the composition of my personality. My saving grace: I have abundance of good sense, common sense, a very high comprehensive capacity, a fast and deep thinking brain (only God knows where I got it from), many at times have come across people and in any conversation that I may be engaged in who would in the middle of it say �so you have thought that far�; and also a very large retentive memory. I rarely forget things. I used to tell my classmates that long after we have done our examinations and passed to another class I still did see the questions in my imagination. Especially those ones written on black boards (do black boards help retentive memory?).

  On this particular day, I have not eaten for about two days approximately, (job was not forthcoming because it was about the Muslim festival), the third day came I ate only once and the fourth day was going down the way of the sun with no prospect of food and another night of counting ceilings. Yeah! It is true ooo if you don�t have food to eat, you would just be there on the bed, counting ceilings. Only God knows how many ceilings I have counted in my life, if they are looking for people who counted plenty ceilings when they were growing up because of hunger, my position should be in the unit. Then �Gbuyi came from nowhere and said: �Hey �Debo, I just came to say hello to you, my grandfather (Baba Odunsi) asked me to give meat to some people and I said I should branch in your house to say hello, have you done your Government assignment? �Which Government assignment are you talking about; I was not even in the school. I have not even eaten for the past two days� (Actually I did not want to tell him that I had only eaten twice for the past five days). He said, henhehn! I said yes ooo. �O don�t worry let us go to my house� I said go to your house, well, I will only follow you if you are going to give me some money to buy food. He said let�s go to my house first. When I got to his house he gave me the largest chunk of meat I had ever received from anybody till that time in my life, I could not believe it. I was surprised. Then something came to me that Pastor Abiala (he used to be the pastor in charge of our Chapel (they converted that Chapel to an Anglican Church). �we should stop collecting meat from Muslims when they do their festival� In fact, I said, this meat, I would collect, I had not eaten for many days now and in fact, I was looking very haggard with sign of hunger written everywhere on my face, why should I not collect this meat, and in fact, I know �Gbuyi, he�s my friend and my classmate, so what is wrong in me collecting muslim�s meat. I disobeyed jooo (after all, Pastor Abiala is not God) that day. I could not help it. That was the dialogue I had in my mind and I prayed over the meat when I got home and I ate it like that: (half -� cooked). Do you know what? The second day, my countenance changed! I put on a little bit of weight. I meant it. I was nonplussed I still remind �Gbuyi about that day till today.

  At JOGS, the time came for them to choose the next line of School Prefects, (thank God they were selecting and not electing as at that time, if not, where would I get the money to sponsor my election?). Forget as long as money play part in politics, you will never get good people being elected. Think deeply about life, you will realise what I am talking about. The teachers selected quite a number of us for screening before choosing few of us to be the next line of school prefect. When we were gathered at the Assembly Hall, my mind went on what I should choose, should I choose to be the Social Prefect? No way, I don�t like discos, partying and going to entertainments. Head boy, no, I don�t want, all of us have in a way silently willed the Head boy of the school to Tokunbo Omodein even before we were called. What should I tell these teachers I prefer? Then I thought, how would I thank God for being so helpful to me all my life so far, from childhood up to that point. Then I better choose chapel prefect (look at me, I had entertained the thoughts of being a Jesuit priest -� thank God my family is not Catholic -� I used to think I owe God something, and why Jesuit, someone once told me they like learning and since I was so much interested in learning I entertained such thoughts, in fact there was a day I asked my brother �Bunmi if there is any work I could do that involves me learning and I would be paid for learning, just learning. �Bunmi laughed that day and said: �Oh! Of course you could be a researcher and perhaps be a Professor. I said henhenh! He said yes, I said ok. But �Bunmi quickly cut in that whatever I am learning is for me to put into practice one day and that that was the reason he asked me to read to myself silently for understanding.). That was how I chose the Chapel Prefect. When they asked me what post did I think I would be able to hold effectively I said I would prefer Chapel Prefect and of course, no one doubted the fact that I was a regular at the Chapel every Thursday (the JOGS day for Christian meetings in those days). After some further drilling, I was told to leave. It did not come as a surprise on the following Monday when �we� the chosen ones, were called up the daiz and introduced to the students as the �acting prefects� that would take charge whilst the incumbent had time to face their impeding almighty �WAEC� exams (WAEC, the West Africa Examination Council, who are you not to call WAEC the almighty as long as getting on successfully after your secondary school is concerned. Everybody looked at WAEC as the Retributive demi - god of the students. You dared pass WAEC (of course we were supposed to call it WASCE - West Africa School Certificate Examination, but try pronouncing WASCE and WAEC and see which one is more palatable then you will realise why almost everybody I had met decided to stick with WAEC. For many, WAEC is their bane, after working so hard with so much tediousness because of the very few resources that I had at my disposal, WAEC could have been my bane also. Here was I having passed my JAMB so much successfully (of course, to the chagrin of some) and having done brilliantly in my secondary school examination and won about five prizes, WAEC refused to release my results!! My mates had already started registration at the Ogun State University whilst WAEC was still playing hide and seek with the result, and when they finally released it, they did not include English, it took my school principal (Mr. M. O. Adedeji - "a beautiful mind" - R.I.P) courage and persistence going to the WAEC office before they finally released my results. I guessed they could not bear the fact that I did so well in my English and were thinking that I had cheated and copied directly from books. Why? I should think because we were asked to write about the man we admired most - Hey, I admired Chief Obafemi Awolowo most, that time when I was in the secondary school, I had read almost all the books he wrote and have put so many quotations from those books in my head, I believe their problem was that how could a student (a secondary school student at the time) repeat verbatim and quote directly from books. Well, when they finally released my result I had a credit in English, I could not believe it, I was expecting an �A� well I had five �As� already, I did not mind that one and the C4 I had in English was more than enough to study Accounting. So I just thanked God. That was after I had fasted and prayed for several days anyway. My growing years were spent fasting. Those ones I did willingly because I was praying for something in my life to be done and those ones I was forced to do because I had no money for food! Well, I think it helped me a lot now anyway. I look so young now! I look too young for my age. When people ask me how old I am and I tell them, they usually go away disbelieving me. So they released the result and I went for my registration, we will come to that story later on). So I became the Chapel Prefect! My job, to keep the Chapel clean (Have I mentioned that my secondary school was founded on January 20th, 1913?) well, I was one of those 'lucky' ones to attend a school with traditions and a chapel; and also the Assembly Hall, every morning. I had the toughest schedules of my life that time. To go and look for menial jobs to do in order to get something to eat for the day, to study my books and then to wake up very early in the morning to keep the Assembly Hall clean, distribute the �Songs of Praise�, and some time conduct services both at the Chapel and at the Assembly Hall. Those days were hectic and I did my best to discharge them dutifully.

  The third term came, speech and prize giving day went and I did not collect any prize. Whao! I was very angry with myself. I actually was not expecting anything better at least I managed to come 11th in 4K. But then I did not like the fact that that year I did not win a single prize. Well, I visited my mother, of course since the time I knew her, trust me, I paid occasional visits. Then one day during the holiday I went to visit her again and she noticed that I was usually unkempt with my body. Then she talked to me and said: �Debo, the fact that you do not have enough resources to take care of yourself does not mean you will not keep your body clean. Please ensure that you keep your body clean�. I said, mo gbo ma. But then another idea came to me: The fact that I did not have enough resources should not debar me from competing for honours, academic honours with my class mates who had better resources than me. Well, I interpreted her message to suit what I wanted for myself. I still went unkempt: My arguments: �those girls would leave me alone if they find out that I am usually unkempt and I can conveniently face my studies. So when I got to my final year in the secondary school, I �quadrupled� my efforts. I would wake up around 3 a.m. to learn my books. I made sure that I restricted myself only to washing of cars to survive, I did not engage in any other strenuous menial jobs than washing of cars in order for me to have enough strength to learn. Not only this, I started taking Nescafe (Thank you Nescafe you played your part - even though you were injurious to my health, yet, I was able to engage your service to put in extra effort. But now that I am a Mormon I don�t take you again. I never thought I would be able to do without Nescafe, Cigarettes and Alcohols until I became a Mormon, Men, it came to me easily to stop and I stopped just like that, for the past seven years that I have become a Mormon, I have not taken these things I myself did not know why, it just came to me easily to stop. I remember when the elderly Brother and Sister Wit were preaching to me in Togo I told them that I just found something out in the book of Mormon and for that particular thing I found out I was ready to become a member and I felt the only thing is that I did not think I would be able to stop taking Nescafe and Cigarettes. As for wine and alcohol, of course, I am not a drunkard, I can easily stop that but Nescafe and Cigarettes, since I was a lonely and solitary personality, how could I possibly forget those two friends especially Nescafe who kept me going on? Sister Wit smiled and said, �you don�t worry, get baptised first then the Holy Spirit will give you the power.� Men, up till now I still think I am in a dreamland for from the day I got baptised as a Mormon, I have obediently abided by the words of wisdom and I used to wonder where is the power coming from and I thanked my stars for making me come across those elderly missionaries. Not that I did not know the injury those habits do to health, and not that I did not try to stop them when my fortunes improved but I was not able to stop them but then I became a Mormon, and everything went away like that! Thank you God, I don�t take Nescafe again! Of course, my situations have improved considerably now and I don�t need you again. Nevertheless thanks Nescafe for keeping me good company I just hope the body wasting chemical that is in you will be removed and then people will take you to achieve their aims without actually wasting their body and health.). So whenever I got back from work and after mixing my tuo soup with hot water and prepared Eba, and ate, I would pray that God would wake me up at 3 a.m. and of course, 90% of the time I did woke up several times then apart from the learning I would do during the day, I still managed to learn in the night sometimes I even woke up around 1 a.m. and I would not sleep until the next day. Then I started fasting and praying that God would help me get help so that I can conveniently pass my WASCE and that I would be able to study hard and achieve the honours the reason of which I left home. Readers, God answered that prayers. We were about to finish the first term of our final year in the secondary school one day when the principal asked Okobieme to call me. Okobieme initially went to Gbuyi Oduniyi but according to Okobieme and Gbuyi Oduniyi, when they talked to me later that day, the principal said, no, he wanted �Debo Ogunade. When I got to him, he was actually standing in front of his car under our famous calabash tree where the bell was usually rung. He said: �Ogunade, would you like to come to the Hostel? I mean the boarding house, I said, of course sir, I would love it. He said, go and tell your father first, whatever he says, come and tell me� well I thought, so this man did not know that I don�t stay with my father again? Well, I braced myself up to see my father about it, since he had almost neglected me and only sees me once in every blue moon to give me his five naira (it came to the point that the five naira I was complaining was too small for me every week eventually dwindled to whenever he felt like and that included perhaps once in every 3 weeks or even month and when I got to my final year in the secondary school, it stopped! So when I saw him, he was going to buy books for my step siblings and thank God that day, he bought me a Math Set, I was happy and I quickly used that opportunity to tell him about the School�s Principal intention to make me come to the boarding house, hey, Men, come and see the way he flared up whilst driving, he said, well, it is my problem, I could do whatever I like as for him, he does not have any money to give to anybody to go to the boarding house. Well, on Monday, the principal asked me if I have told my father about it, I said yes, I have, he said I could pack and come to the boarding house. The principal had actually chosen me and Tokunbo Omodein as the only two School Prefects to come to the Hostel. Perhaps to help us learn more having found out that we were both extraordinary very serious with our studies, or, because he wanted us to take care of the junior students who were just tasting boarding house for the first time. The government of the then Odu�a group of states had hitherto banned boarding houses in schools across their states because of the inhuman treatments of junior students by the senior students. So, the new experiments started barely a year and then the school decided to make us (I and Omodein) be with these students. But then, it was God answering my prayers. I still owe that man today. If not for God talking to them at the Staff room (I know my school principal was very democratic, he would not have taken the decision alone, he would have consulted his teachers) to select me to be part of those two senior students who would come to the hostel. Readers, I thought I would pay something, Tokunbo was trying to say that he paid something, I was not sure whether he was telling me the truth or not, you know Tokunbo is very diplomatic, so I don�t know his mind most times and on which side of a case he was usually, but he always find a way of getting things done for himself only. To the glory of God, I did not pay anything, I mean I did not pay a single Kobo. I came to the hostel free of charge. It was just before this time that �Dewunmi my elder sister came to see me with a baby, she said she gave birth to a baby and have come to show the baby to me, I, being her direct brother. I was very annoyed, I did not want to see her, why? Readers listen, I loved Segun a lot, Segun was my only playmate in my father�s house when I got there in 1977 when I was 9 years only and then in 1978, Segun died, I was still very young to know why and how he died. But then according to my Step mother, �Dewunmi, who was about 11 years old then, killed Segun. Of course, this was after I had followed her to so many Babalawos, Onisegun and Prophets and Prophetess and all of them saying that Segun was an Emere, an Ogbanje and an Abiku. Since I was not yet forming any idea about such things in my mind, I took my step mother's story (of course she cooked the food we eat in the house, so whatever she says we would take). It was this story I had in my head when my sister came to see me with the baby, I was very annoyed, I hated my own sister, because of what my step mother told me she did, I believed her. Readers listen to this carefully: It is possible for people to be spiritually manipulated to admit whatever they did not do. Why would they admit such a thing, why would they be so vulnerable as to fall in this kind of spiritual manipulation would be dealt with later when I explain the little truth I know about the spiritual kingdoms of darkness and how they operate and how such have affected mankind for many epochs. It was later when my sister had actually died and I have grown in spiritual maturity that I came in the truth of such manipulation. So my sister was manipulated to admit what she did not do and not only this, we were also manipulated to believe what was not the truth. You men, you �funny� me a lot, you think because a particular child look like you it is yours? You are joking, there are a lot of manipulations in this world. A lot of people are dying just because they have been manipulated spiritually and wickedly at that, to admit what they did not do, so if you see one going through the gallows, perhaps he never even committed the crime in the first instance. So my sister came and showed me her baby, I will have lied if I should say I was not indifferent to her joys. I was still believing the lies of my step mother that my sister killed Segun, even though I had occasional doubts that how could an eleven year old girl, who knew nothing of Ibadan and only stayed with us for just two months killed someone, and even her visit was not premeditated, it was impromptu and she did not even prepare for it and judging by what my father told my step mum that time about him coming across �Dewunmi and the fact that I thought my father brought her to cheer me up thinking that I was falling sick just because someone like �Dewunmi was not around me not knowing the truth that I was not used to the inhuman treatments that my stepmother was busy meting out to me. Readers, lots of those people who are exorcising witches and wizards from the body of kids and elders alike are just trying to practice what they have learnt in their magical books. (check the internet you will find a lot of books written on such magical manipulations that would make one admit what he did not do. Man, you need Jesus the Christ that was the main reasons why the people who belong to the other side do not like Him anyway. He came to expose them.). So also, just before I went to the hostel, �Bunmi also came from nowhere; I jumped on him immediately I saw him, �Bunmi that I had hitherto lost for almost two years. (so when they told me the lies that �Bunmi had left for Belgium in 1986 I took it with a pinch for I know that �Bunmi and I were very close for him not to tell me he would be travelling and when he spent close to 3 years without getting in touch I finally gave up. So this is 2008, over 21 years afterwards, yet, the �Bunmi I was expecting has not shown up. Now, they cannot manipulate me in any way, I have Jesus the Christ and I myself have grown in spiritual maturity.). Immediately �Bunmi asked me what I was doing in Apebi House and why was I not in my father�s house instead. I narrated everything to him and he became annoyed and told me not to worry that he would try his best possible to make me go through my secondary school successfully (Readers, one thing I found out about the firstborns - whether male or female, they are usually very responsible. In fact, most of the white collar crimes committed in this world, I mean those ones like stealing, embezzling, cheating and the likes are committed by firstborns and if you are looking for someone who would willingly join a particular brotherhood or fraternity to access their networking and brotherly �love� to alleviate the problems of his siblings, check the data, most of them would be firstborns. Whether they are firstborn child, or the first male in the house, they are, usually. They do this to take care of their siblings, I don�t know why they are very responsible like that, I still need to do a research like that, but I found this out. So �Bunmi promised me and then went away, he was glad to hear that I was asked to come to the hostel free of charge and mind you the school principal at JOGS then was also �Bunmi�s principal at Ijebu - Ife Community Grammar School. �Bunmi just went to thank him and then bought me some few items that I needed. He would come several times later and coupled with the fact that the Junior students then just like me and were usually telling their parents about my sense of duty, conscientiousness and seriousness, I was never lacking anything that I needed. God definitely answered my prayers and I had the time to devour my books. We were in form five, the time to collect JAMB forms had come and it was about to close and it actually closed and I had no money to collect JAMB, �Tokunbo brought the idea that I should just borrow some money from the junior students, he meant little money here and there until I could get the amount that I needed to use to collect my JAMB forms, but I did not buy the idea, the principal did not bring me to the hostel to start doing fine bara with this junior students, I refused but then I started praying fervently, reminding God that the main reason I left home was to be able to pass my final exams very well and go straight to the university immediately l leave secondary school and that I would not want to wait any extra minute talkless of days of months at home waiting for school. Then the sale of JAMB forms closed and I didn't know what got into them they just said in the news that they are extending the closing date for another two weeks. I then began serious prayers. Then on Sunday (making only 3 days before the final close on sale after the extension) I braced up my mind and told myself that this week, something should happen and that this Sunday, throughout the prayers and songs in the church I would not mind I would just be praying and I would not want to join anybody in any songs or anything I would just pray. So the first service finished (it was usually in English) and the second service started (in all that would have taken about 4 hours approximately) and I was still praying it was when the second service was getting to the middle that someone tapped me on the back, I was very annoyed I said Satan did not want me to get answer to my prayers and have sent someone to come and disturb me, then the person tapped me after some 10 minutes again and this time said someone downstairs was waiting for me. I told myself that these parents have come to disturb me again with their problems wouldn�t they let me pray? But then when I got downstairs, it was �Bunmi Ogunade I saw, my darling �Bunmi, I was happy and I quickly told him that I would like to collect the JAMB forms and I had no money. He asked me how much and I told him, and he quickly counted the amount for me and I was very happy and on Monday, I went to tell the principal (he was not around) so I told sister Beatrice (our principal�s darling secretary) and off I went to Ago -� Iwoye to collect my JAMB forms. I had already planned in my head to read Accounting and I started working on my Government seriously (even though I was the best student in my school in both Government and Economics, I nevertheless learnt that JAMB questions are tricky and that you have to really know the subjects before you could pass. As for Maths and English, I know I don�t have any problem with English and as for Maths, there can never be any tricky question in Maths unless you don�t know it. So I decided to concentrate more on both Economics and Government, of course, I know I can never fail mathematics in my life again after my interactions with Mrs. Javaid, Omotayo Balogun and lately then, �Dare Kuku. So whilst my other �superbrains� of the school are busy choosing medicine, medicine, pharmacy, pharmacy, engineering and the like. I just cut my coat according to my cloth and I chose Accounting.

  It was at this time that I met a senior of mine who had been watching me from a distance, he just came to the school one day from the University of Lagos, where he was studying Architecture and one of the things he ingrained in my brain was the fact that I had to be realistic! Of course he would come several times later and we would engage in animated conversations. He said whatever goal I had in view, I had to make sure that in my pursuits of it, I am realistic. He was always hammering on the fact of being realistic with my goals. Of course, we used to argue a lot. I, who was a very strong Christian with belief in the power of prayers and of course with the fact that faith can do anything at the back of my mind usually went in dissonance with his sermons (he was a Muslim and even at that time I did not think he was a practising one). I used to think he was just perhaps looking for people who would come and join his group. I sensed that time he had just joined some powerful group and was looking for young, powerful and brilliant students he wanted to initiate to that group (well, sorry for those thoughts in those days). So when I got to form five and I having seen the extent to which I had faltered in my pursuits in Form four due to my financial inadequacies I decided to be more realistic at least to listen to Hafiz Lawal, I thought, it will be useless for me to continue with all those subjects. I would reduce the twelve to eight, I told myself, not only this, I decided not to pursue the sciences up to the university level again for it was at this time that Professor Ayodele Awojobi died. I was perplexed and it was also at this time that I read how his mind was wasted and how he was not able to actually live out his dreams. I thought, �why should I be troubling myself being a scientist anyway. So when I got my JAMB forms I filled in Accounting. When Tokunbo Omodein realised that I filled in Accounting he was perplexed, he thought I was nut! But then Hafiz Lawal had sown the seed of being realistic with my goals in me. Sorry for faith, I did not even know where it was that time anyway, perhaps lurking somewhere on the crevices of my mind. Well, I told myself, that why should I be deceiving myself anyway, has my situation changed, I still grappled with lack of resources to see myself through secondary school, I better not join these people in their quest to read Medicine and the sciences, where would I get money to buy books anyway when I knew that I could hardly afford a day's meal.

  It was also at this time that we had competitions with other schools especially, Quizes and debates. Then came the Awokoya Chemistry Competition, the notice came abruptly and Mr. Adebanjo had only one day to prepare �Dare Kuku and some two others for the competition, and off then went to Lagos to compete with other schools who had the notices several months and weeks earlier and what happened, my very own �Dare Kuku (oh! Sorry our very own �Dare Kuku) topped all of them. From the Kings College to the Federal Government College Something, Dare Kuku had the highest mark, of course we JOGS members were proud especially those of the �superbrains� class and of course me (it was also about this time that I was becoming closer to �Dare Kuku than the rest of my school mates). Then they came again with a Bible Quiz competition for the Ijebu - Diocese, since Olumide Olayinka who was the Social Prefect did not offer Bible Knowledge or just felt I could perform better (I used to know the Bible that time like the palm of my hands, I still do ooo, please prepare yourself very well before coming to preach to me), that came abruptly too and I had only the weekend to prepare and of course we were given the areas to study and the like. One thing I usually feel uncomfortable with is for you to tell me where to read or even so show me the marking scheme (only God knows whether they have marking schemes now, hmn? Lecturers and Teachers are not demi - god, victimising students anyhow.), I would just get everything. You have not given me the course outline, I was passing excellently what would happen if you give me the course outline and the marking scheme. That was it, they gave us the possible areas to study and according to the Arts student at JOGS they felt since I was the Chapel Prefect (I was a science student and I did not offer Bible Knowledge during my final years at JOGS) I should just go and represent the school, of course I would have refused, because there are several attempts like that to make me join them to go for quizes and debates which I always turned down, but Olumide Olayinka caught me this time and because it had to do with the Bible and he knew he would have something to say about my relationship with God if I refused I went to the quiz reluctantly and what happened during the competition: I did not miss a single questions, I answered all the questions correctly and all the reverend ministers present were surprised and I shook my head inside of me and told myself that these people did not really know whom they dealt with. So, it was not strange that we (I and Dare Kuku) came out in the news (Yeah! JOGS used to have the news, our local news read out once every week about events in the school), as being distinguished JOGS and making the school proud. I still represented Ijebu - Diocese later on when I was at the Ogun State University where I came out top in the Bible Competition organised by the Bible Society of Nigeria.

  In those days, you do JAMB (J.M.E - Joint Matriculation Examination, actually) first before you do the WASCE and if you waited for the teachers you might not pass the exams very well for they used the WAEC syllabus and not JAMB (did JAMB have a syllabus anyway) well, you have to do private study and even in JOGS most brilliant guys did a lot of private studies in those days no wonder when we got to higher institutions we were usually acclaimed as being super. (When I was at the Ogun State University, Bisuga told me to my face that I must have had at least two separate sessions at the 'A' Level and that I should stop lying that I was fresh from the Secondary School. He told me that I had done 'A' level twice for there was no reason I could be able to participate so brilliantly in class discussions if I had never been at the 'A' level and that I should stop lying that I was fresh from the secondary school. Segun Oyesanya even had to confess to me one day that the reason he became my friend was because of my intellect.) So I increased my hours of study I got only 3 hours of sleep everyday and If I was lucky to have some junior students do some chores for me, I slept five hours. I put all my energy on my books. Then the time for JAMB exams came, I fell sick. Yes, I fell sick, very sick, coupled with the fact that when it was about four days to write the exams, I got Apollo (Conjunctivitis), I was very sick and I started praying and rebuking and casting out unseen demons and cursing every enemy both known, seen, perceived or non existing. Men, I was very sick I could remember that time when my pen fell down and I bent down to pick it, the kind of pain I would feel in my face was even sickness itself. I was very sick, Tokunbo was very perplexed, I was vomiting just hours before the exams and he even advised me not to write the exams that I should just forget it and write it next year. I was adamant and I prayed and went in to write the exams. Tokunbo was very happy and full of praise when he realised that I scored 246/400. He was perplexed (that is exactly 60%), he could not believe it, from that day onward, he chose to believe that I was not human. The breakdown of my marks: I had 52 in Mathematics, I had 59 in Government, I had 67 in English and I had 68 in Economics. I was very annoyed with those marks, I was gunning for something like 342 and if worse should come to the worse I was expecting something like 282, 278. When I saw what I got, I was not happy at all. But all around me were glad and happy that I had such a mark. (it was then I remember a saying, is it by Wole Soyinka or Chinua Achebe, I cannot really remember now, - I don�t want to check now - I and Omotayo Balogun used to use that quotation whenever we fell below our expectations: �is greatness in name or in deed when some of us start jubilation thinking that we had achieved an intended goal whilst the intended goal lies miles away from us. -� That should be about it, I used that quotation some 20 something years ago, you don�t expect me to know everything in Toto. ). I was sad, but happy anyway that at least I should get admission in any of the Universities I chose. Readers, don�t you think it would be sad to know and very appalling too that the exams that some of us nearly died trying to prepare for, some and many people in Lagos and in many big cities had the questions some hours and even days before they wrote it. We people in small towns and villages really suffered a lot that time trying to achieve something; when some people have used their money and influence to get the questions for their children and those ones would then pass easily in shinning colours but then with empty heads and when we see mismanagement and non performance in the country we blame only the leadership. Nigeria really needs deliverance.

  Form five came and we started our WAEC (as we fondly called it). I told myself that right now, it is some people�s do or die with fate and destiny I had to stop my policing policy. What is my policing policy you may well ask? Ask my class mates up till the time we wrote our WAEC exams, I dared not see you cheat. I mean it, I dared not see you cheat, I would report you immediately. I hated it when I saw people cheat. But then something just told me that I should relax this time that I never knew perhaps it would be the �true� or �false� that someone would tell someone in the class that would make that person escape F9 or P7 that I should just relax. I know some of my other school mates would have performed some sacrifices to make me mellow down and true to this thought, I just felt I should allow them to be and if WAEC would not police them who was I to offer any assistance, I needed to concentrate on my exams. It was at this time too that I remember what happened one day between me and Lekan Salami (Lekan Sansan).

  It was somehow in 1983, I was a new student in the school and we were asked to write a test in General Science, a test that I did not prepare for and being confident that I was good, since I had done a lot of General Science at Eyinni High School, in Ibadan, I did not expect any General Science at Ijebu - Ode Grammar School to be tough. Even though I did not prepare for it, I scored a very high mark. Immediately Lekan Sansan as we fondly called him, saw that I got a high mark, he asked me to teach him, this was after he had asked Omotayo Balogun about the questions, and the latter having refused, I did not know why Omotayo Balogun did not tell him the questions and answers to them, even though I was new in his class, he was equally good. Well, since I was a �do - gooder� who wanted everybody to do well in life and succeed; I taught Lekan Sansan everything including the answers. During break time, he bought some fish pies and bought mineral for me to thank me. I did not know that Mr. Fadahunsi ( O da ran Fellow, Na wo, ko tewo gbare) would give the same questions to them to solve. I was perplexed when I found this out. Most of them got very high marks in Lekan Sansan class to the chagrin of Mr. Fadahunsi, he immediately came to our class to investigate who leaked the questions to the other class. I was not surprised when all the fingers pointed at me. I complained that I was a new student and I did not know that he would give the same questions to them and if I had known I would not in any way even if I was bribed (if you bribed me you waste your time, I would take your money and I would not perform what you bribed me to do) I would not have done it in any way, he refused to take my defence, he punished me, I �tewo gbare� of course and in addition, I had to weed the grass. He later reduced the punishment anyway and then sang for me and called me �Ole �Badan (Meaning a thief from Ibadan, for I just came to the school from Ibadan). Well, My class mates knew I was not Ole �Badan anyway it was just that I did not know his practice, so Ole �Badan never stayed but by form four �Gura� had more patronage. So, it was not surprising during the speech and prize giving days for you to hear: -Guwe, Guwe, Guwe- for some people would be saying Uwe Uwe and some Gura, Gura, whenever I was called to the daiz to collect my prizes. Some just removed the �ra� and changed it to �Guwe� only on prize giving days anyway. So Mr. Fadahunsi, what happened to him? He helped us in Grammar a lot. I learnt he also daran fellow (the way I also daran fellow, years after) I will tell you about how I felt I also daran fellow later on in this story! It was when I realised that I might be an object of victimisation that I remembered Mr. Fadahunsi and I understood the reason why he always mentioned O daran fellow. I think this world is very sick! From the little I learnt from my class mates that time. Mr. Fadahunsi was a promising brilliant student who was interested in the Law (of course, he taught us grammar and the grammar he made us do and solve continuously is part of what you my readers are enjoying right now) but along the line, he said something that exposed some people and because of that they frustrated his dreams and he ended up as a teacher. Those people he infuriated are members of some powerful brotherhood who ensured his failure thence his demotion to an ordinary school teacher. But then they did not know that Mr. Fadahunsi was not an ordinary school teacher. He was my Teacher!

  So I allowed my school mates to be and I concentrated only on my work. I would not tell you how many number of people came to me to talk to me that I should just face my work or else they would deal with me, not only this, some even came begging that I should just face my own in the examination room and that I should not say anything against anybody and that I should please not expose anybody. But then I would want Lekan Sansan to tell me the truth now, whenever I see him, what transpired with my Literature in English script. I only need the truth from him, it was between him and the Yoruba Mistress.

  It was about this time also that a book in Mathematics by one of the lecturers in a polytechnic, a very good book and which I intentionally bought to use to pass Mathematics excellently, got missing. It pained me seriously and since I could not find it, I gave up. Dear Readers, it was after we have finished our exams and our results released and I had an A in Mathematics that something pushed me to go and visit Kayode Idris in his house and lo and behold, I saw my Mathematics book on his table, of course there was no mobile phone in those days and the visit was abrupt and he did not know I will be visiting, but he was caught pants down, of course I was annoyed and I did not expect Kayode Idris of all my �friends� to take my book without my permission (perhaps he knew I would not have borrowed him if he had asked me), for according to Kayode, I was an inspiration to him and he admired me a lot. Well, he was very sad that I got to know he �took� my book without my permission and he thought I will be wrought with him but he was surprised even though I became annoyed, when I said it is ok, since I�ve passed Mathematics excellently already, he should just forget it and can even take it if he wants since he just got admission to a polytechnic and he would be needing the book. That was it, I became like a semi - god to him. I think people did not really understand something: Vengeance is stupidity! The deed has been done, past tense, why should I want to avenge? What everyone should seek to get is Justice and Divine Justice at that. And that is one thing that is surprising with me, I tend to forgive people easily, maybe because of my early association with Jesus The Christ, and many a times have I had something of �fight� or argument with people, without me knowing that they still held the grudge against me whilst I have even forgotten that I had something against them in the first instance. But I am surprised anyway, don�t people watch football or soccer, I am like a soccer player, you hurt me and you say sorry and I forget it, if the referee punishes you good for you but if not, off the pitch and on the pitch I still will not have anything against you. As for soccer? Hmn, I like soccer like a girlfriend (do I even have one?). Soccer is to me the greatest drama of man, you need to watch soccer with your eyes and mind open to know and understand man, somehow anyway. I am an unrepentant football/soccer fan and I still do play sometimes. My final year in the secondary school made me closer to �Dare Kuku than any of my other class mates. We used to do our readings together a lot. I can remember I could have slept off on two occasions in the dormitory if not for Dare Kuku who came calling to tell me that the exams had started for I would not want to spend any extra minute discussing or wasting my time, so I went only when the papers were being distributed and twice I would have failed to write the papers hadn�t been that �Dare Kuku kept coming to call me for exams. (That�s my friend anyway, thanks �Dare for being my friend.). Yeah, the third term came, I had five prizes again at the speech and prize giving day. In the build up to the prize giving day, I came first in Government and of course, this infuriated Olumide Olayinka. This guy, he was also in my crop of friends, very funny and a delightful personality, a merry go individual. He would spend his time talking and chatting during the day in the school and when he got home he would face his books as if he was ink itself. Those who did not know him would waste their time talking and chatting with him without knowing that he would carefully study his books at night. He came out with a device for his name, a language device that he used in insulting the rest. You try to put �igbe� (for naija, - oh sorry for Yoruba, �igbe� na shit, - not bull shit but �man� shit) in front of your name, it will be very insulting. But put Igbe in front of Olumide Olayinka�s name: it will read �Igbemide� �Igbeyinka� then Olumide would add so: �Igbe e de and Igbe yi o ka?� We used to have very serious discussions about life he claimed he admired me, but he did not realise that I admired him too. He told me about the �Seven Pillars of Wisdom by T. E. Lawrence and I looked for that book and I read it. In the fourth year we had had discussions about my personality and he did not hide the fact that he admired me and told me so many stories about his stay at the Federal Government College Odogbolu. But he became very irritated when he realised that I got the highest mark in Government. This was after I had claimed prizes in Biology, Economics, Agric, and (Literature in English Language?) and of course, a prize from the school for doing so well as a Chapel Prefect. But then, he went to meet Tokunbo the (Head Boy of the school 'and he had a big one too'- O sorry readers, have I mentioned that herrm, herrm JOGS is a single sex school, �boys only�), and of course, you know Tokunbo now, he was very diplomatic in those days, he had his ways with the teachers and even everybody, they went to Mr. Omoboriowo, the MC for the school and the person in charge of the Speech and Prize giving day and they changed the prize to that of form four instead of five. It was a nice coup, but who cared anyway, it is better for the prize to go to someone who would be praised and encouraged for doing well and not to someone who would not receive a well done talk less of any encouragement. When Dare Kuku learnt this, he was very annoyed and wanted to go to the school principal himself to report, but I told him not to worry that I left everything to God, he did not realise that I wanted Olumide to actually win that prize but because I would not want to do badly in the exams, I did very well and I came first and since he had told me that he had promised his dad the prize I conceded the prize to him, so even though my report sheet read that I came first in Government, there was no prize to show for it, no one would notice the discrepancies. Since his telling me about his father�s influence in his life, I had always respected that man even though I saw him only once. Yes, I respect two other fathers of my classmates: �Dare Kuku�s father for respecting his son�s wishes and accepting me into their home and also Victor Okobieme�s father (even though he refused to initiate me to the Rosicrucian Order at a �tender age� as he claimed) I still respect him for one thing, and this is it: In Nigeria in those days, it was usually very evident that there are corruption all over, he happened to work for NITEL and there he was using one old decrepit car whilst other people who were below him were living large and using better cars. Of course you don�t need anyone to tell you that the rest were getting it through corrupt practices and when I asked Okobieme about his father, he told me that his father claimed to have achieved Nirvana and that those things did not count with him and that his purpose was to leave this world better than he found it. That his father depended not on anything but his salary and then he told me about other people that we know around who were below his father in rank yet living larger (apparently from their corrupt practices) than his father and that it was because of that reason that their mother left their father to look for job in Lagos rather than stayed in Ijebu - Ode! I said Henhn! He said yes. Later in life when I saw the extent to which other people in other orders and brotherhoods batter the economy and the society, I not only admire the Rosicrucian Order but also Victor Okobieme�s father. I was still living at Apebi when I finished the secondary school and you have to stay at home for about two months or even four sometimes before your result would be released since I was a member of the Deeper Life Christian Ministry that time, and we were taught about forgiveness and showing love to those who hated us and used us despitefully, I decided to give my books and my prizes to Yomi, my step brother, not minding what his mother had done to me and considering the fact that I don�t believe in this step this, step that nonsense, I decided to advise him to face his studies. I really talked to him that day and I saw drops of tears came out of his eyes because of my speech. Before I finally left them I was sure he gained admission to the Ogun State Polytechnic, what happened afterwards, I did not know but what I told him that day was enough to make him succeed in life. Also, I was still going to tend the Baba Apebi�s farm with Uncle Soye and �Dewale Ogunade and of course it was in their house one day that I tasted beans and fried eggs together, I had hitherto not eaten such a food like that before and of course Uncle �Diran was by then staying there. I went there immediately after leaving JOGS first to coordinate myself and also to work for some money for whenever we go to the farm like that they most of the times give me something. But of a truth, Uncle Soye and �Dewale worked very hard. In those days I used to wonder where Uncle Soye strength was coming from, the way he used to work. Of course, I kept on going there not only because I had some money to earn from them but also to get inspiration from them from their workaholic nature. So I stayed with them on weekends Fridays to Sundays. They hardly come on weekdays. Then one day, �Dare Kuku visited my place at Apebi, he was appalled and perplexed to see where I lived. He said, you how can you be living in this dirty environment, you don�t even have water. I could see the expression on his face. Then he said he would like to talk to his dad that perhaps may be he would allow me to stay with them. That was it. I started staying with Dare Kuku. So I forgot about Uncle Soye and �Dewale. Of course Dare Kuku�s father also had a poultry farm and then I started working on their farm. So Dare Kuku�s mother liked me because I was an inspiration to her children and she used to advise them, using me as example to many of them. I don�t see the Kuku�s family as my friend again, they are my family! The same goes for the Oresanyas, and the Eperokuns, well, the same could have gone to the Oyekans, but Femi Oyekan did something to me one day that I felt, well, I will hold on only to Muyiwa Oyekan who was my school son (as for school sons, I had them plenty, I used to say that Muyiwa Oyekan is my first born and that �Tayo Balogun who is from Ijebu Imusin, is my last born. Between these people I had plenty: The Oshinkanlu brothers: Jobalo and Zion, OBJ, Cele Boy, Levi, and plenty, plenty of them, some used to tell me in those days that I was all they wanted to be that I inspired them so much that they want to be like me, and whenever some of them mention it singularly in privacy like that I would shout �God forbid� please don�t be like me because you don�t know what I had suffered and you still don�t know what lies ahead of me. If I have inspired you, let the inspiration lead you positively to a fulfilling life and be yourself but don�t ever pray to be like me), the rest of his siblings should forget me. But then I love Sister �Dupe and of course I admire Brother Seun when I learnt that he made an average of 4.9 when he studied Engineering at Ibadan or at Ife (I cannot really remember very well now). Muyiwa even told me one day that it came to a particular point in time in Brother�s Seun academic life when he was just scoring 5.0, 5.0 every semester! As for Sister �Dupe, she loved and admired me a lot, she would not want me go hungry. Even if I get to their house at 11 p.m. in the night she would wake up and prepare food for me. Sister �Dupe, wherever you are just know that I love and admire you. So they finally released the result, everybody knew where they belonged to immediately as for me, I had to wait. Dare Kuku said �Debo, if you know how to pray and fast, I think you should start now. Anthony Ejorh�s too. So I started attending night vigils, prayer camps (especially the one on the Lagos Ibadan Express way belonging to the Redeemed Christian Church of God), and praying sessions. Fasting and Praying finally, my result was released and what happened I had five distinctions and two credits, and they refused to release my English! Whao, what is happening, who is affecting me negatively. Mr. M. O. Adedeji, my darling school principal just got tired one day and went to �fight� with them at the WAEC office to release the result of two of his best students. Meanwhile I also started another bout of prayers camps attendance and night vigils with prayers and fasting and finally when they released my result it was November 10th. 1986, they had nearly finished registration at the Ogun State University. So when my father learnt that I got admitted to the Ogun State University and I did well, he was happy and promised to change and look after me (but his �change� lasted only two weeks at most). So I went to the Ogun State University to register and when I got to the academic office, there I met Uncle Soye and Uncle Sola, (he soon died some few months afterwards abruptly and in a very strange manner, he died on his seat, according to report with unfinished slices of oranges in his plate) immediately I saw Uncle Soye, my mind went �gbi� I said, what is this man doing here. Well, perhaps he came to look for admission for Ronke, (the way I love that girl, I used to fight Olumide Bewaji incessant cravings for her, I am sure Olumide must have realised this, as for Olumide, I don�t think any girl can escape from his grip unless he was not really interested). So I said, I should not allow this man to see me here, but then the courage just came I said is he not my uncle, why should I be afraid of him, since I have Jesus the Christ I will fear no one, so I went to see him and of course he asked me with amazement (not a joyful one anyway, I could read people�s mind since the time I started living with my step mother and I could sense when one is for me or against me). He did not ask me how come I passed JAMB, he asked me how I got the money to take JAMB exams and I said my brother gave me and he asked specifically which of my brothers and I said �Bunmi, the one working with Uncle Kunle. He then nodded his head in unpleasant happiness and gave me 15 naira which he rolled like a cigarette. Well, I went my way and did my registration and went about my work. It was barely a week after my registration that �Dapo came to me at the Ogun State University to tell me that �Bunmi had travelled to Belgium and that he gave me a shirt (I, not being in the know, took the shirt and wore it, since that time, I had noticed vultures and very recently crows monitoring my movements and I did not realise on time, Segun Olowolagba - a very brilliant classmate of mine at the Ogun State University would just come to my room and would be calling me Igun, Igun, Igun, - he once told me his father was a very powerful herbalist). So that is how I had not seen my brother for the past 21 years. When I read between the lines I decided to take on the branch in my flowchart of life but then my father refused to listen to me and thought I was referring to the fact that I was not taken care of in the secondary school that was making me to tell him I was not interested in the school but then I just took up the courage and told myself that the spirit that crossed the Rubicon could easily cross the Nile so I decided to stay put at the Ogun State University. But then my father called everybody in the family to talk to me, I looked at them pitifully I told myself that these people did not really have work to do, me that I have made up my mind on how to live my life, I had drawn up the flowchart of my life long before I even left primary school with plenty if - then - else statements and there they were telling me to accept my daddy�s proposals to sponsor my education. As if my father had a hand in my getting my JAMB forms in the first instance, even the money for WAEC was paid for by the school principal to avoid non - registration, before my father finally gave me the money And I am writing my story now and some people are telling me it is too much, if survivors like me don�t talk, how would the world be a better place? I talk. (one thing society must realise is this: those of us that are not brought up by our mothers did not really know how to �talk� it is not our fault. We say anything as much as it is the truth and we don�t care what happens afterwards, you go and do your research on that and come back to tell me that I was not correct in my observation. So don�t blame us, blame that society that took our mothers away from us, for no mother would under normal circumstances want to be parted from a child he nurtured, cared, possessed and owned for nine months). Mother, wherever you are: I am grateful to you for not aborting me, despite the fact that you saw troubles coming yet you kept faith with me and brought me forth. You made me taste life. Life is sweet oooo. Don�t allow the wicked ones of this world to disturb, deceive and lie to you that life is war that life is struggle, invariably let me tell you, despite going through what I have gone through, I believe in one thing: Life is beautiful, Life is good. I love life. Why would not I be grateful to my mother for bringing me forth? Of course, she could have aborted me! Yeah, a lot of ladies do that and that means I would have been denied the opportunity of life at that time, place, and circumstances which would have invariably distort something that only few minds can comprehend. And of course, for my father�s family to thank her for bringing me forth, they broke her heart, broke her home and they even told me one day to change my name! Did I ask you to name me in the first instance? Perhaps they were jealous of my academic success (of course their prying on my academic affairs led me to spend six instead of four academic years in the university). We men believe we can do anything, even though we belong to powerful groups, or have powerful friends, we should be humble with it. Life as we see it is not only temporal but varied, so also is power. They all sat down prying on my academic affairs and none of them contributed anything to my schooling in the first instance (AWURADE KASA!). Should I count how many times I slept in mosquito infested lecture rooms, butteries and common rooms just because I was so poor to even afford a day�s meal talkless of accommodation whilst they enjoy the comfort of �water beds� (Man! Why are you so wicked?). Alajobi and Adabi a da to ba je pe I did not go to many of my examinations with empty stomachs. Not because I was fasting or because I was too busy to eat but because I was very poor and could not even afford to eat before writing my papers; yet, I passed and of course after they have used their clique to deduct part of my marks! (Man, Change!). I should write this, so that those who would perchance read and have the intention of doing something like what some people have done to me, to other people, would think twice and change their minds and reflect deeply for after all, I am writing about this. I believe you all hurt my mother; you hurt her because she had no one to come to her aid. I had made up my mind a long time ago to be a feminist, the moment I realised that they not only manipulated my mother negatively but also machinate evil against her, I knew enough to realise that women are the most vulnerable part of mankind and I had vowed to always defend a woman�s cause. We men, who are we anyway, we think we can do anything, achieve anything without considering what would happen to another person and small time we would say women are the problems of this world. (Ai tete mole, ole mu oloko) Being an orphan (and a poor one for that matter), you sent her packing out of her matrimonial home, denied her and her children the affection and joys of mother and children and instead of you to leave her children alone, you spent your time, connections and resources to destroy them just because the disgruntled part of you wanted perhaps to avenge something that someone, sometime had done to you. (Vengeance is stupidity of the highest order and bitterness leaves you with nothing but traumas, desist from it. Man, you hear me?). I have forgiven you, I mean it, I really really mean it, but go and beg my mother. For when Ijebu says Epe Nu Se (it means so much and that is what I can say. But if you do not want the repercussions and the consequences of your actions to hunt you, please and please go and beg my mother for forgiveness and afterwards repent and give your life to Jesus the Christ! I've not seen anything as terrible as man, claiming to have knowledge but discourages learning and study, and cynically ridicule those who study and learn. Claiming to be wise, sets up institutions to punish criminals and put them to death. The same person who reads: �train up a child in the way he should go and when he grows he will not depart from it'; has the gut to order the same child in his adulthood to go to prison for a crime he was set up by the intricacies of his society to commit and even put them to death by firing squad and what have you. Yet, he collects bribes and spends taxpayers money lavishly and is mired in corruption, which directly and indirectly leads to the moral corruption of the person he puts behind bars and orders his execution, we men, are either stupid, wicked or helpless! God help us. That is one of the reasons I respect these Americans, I was watching a film one day and I found out that in the judge�s handling the case of a particular person, he did not look at the crime committed but went to the root of the crime itself, I think the world should take a cue from this and the guy acquitted. I think our society should take a cue from that, we should not just punish people; we should look at the source of the crime and see whether we would be able to correct that particular societal error and perhaps make the world a better place by so doing. Aren't we lazy anyway, we copied the judicial process, law, and prison regulations of those ancient warring emperors and empires and entrenched that in our modern civility. What wisdom can we get from wicked people (I was reading the "Newswatch" one day in Nigeria - that was a long time ago when the then president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Ibrahim Babangida said he wondered why people referred to him as an evil genius when in fact, you cannot be evil and be a genius at the same time. Yes readers, think deeply about that statement and you will realise that there is no way something of genius will come from a wicked mind. If you see some traces of wickedness or near wickedness in works of geniuses then that means it is an imperfection, an aberration and would not last long - that is one of the imperfections of man - anyway, perhaps the genius was even set up to commit evil thinking he was fulfilling his goals of doing good; is cursing a wrong thing? Did Jesus the Christ curse a fig tree? Yet, in my mind, my very mind, I think Jesus the Christ is the Genius of all geniuses), we should rather overturn all those laws made for us whether by religious books or by books of good men of wicked era, we should overturn everything and leave no stone unturned, we should do it carefully, slowly and painstakingly to ensure that we remove every traces of inadequacies in the law and how it is interpreted, we should be relentless! We should spend money and time to do this. I was reading a newspaper in Ghana some three years ago, a young man in his 20s was sentenced to 15 years imprisonment for stealing a goat! Hmn! What a waste done to the society by the judiciary when in fact such a person would have been rehabilitated, talked to and even assisted to start a gainful employment for himself! As if that man was not born with a conscience, instead of us to make the world habitable for every human being, we listened to logics of evil of philosophers, sociologists and psychologists of wicked epochs of man! Those who were under the whims and caprices of wicked emperors, kings and princes, those who would not be able to survive unless patronised by the courts of these emperors, kings and princes, for of course, every Yoruba knows that he who pays the pipers dictates the tunes. In fact, that also goes for our new research centres being set up by multinationals. I think anything that is done prior to 1945 should be looked at with a question mark! Because it was after that time that man began to think positively, it was after that time, that real freedom of the mind came, the history that praised Alexander the Great (in my opinion, he was the greatest thief and wicked man that ever lived), extolled Napoleon, commended Attila the Hun and honoured Genghis Khan, is the same history that condemned Hitler! Yes, that was when we men of this modern era started realising evil done in the name of good. Thank God for America! Had it not been that that country was founded by free men from different countries perhaps the world would still be under so many wrongs in disguise of good by now. Then Hitler would have been another �Alexander the Great�. Thank God for one thing, man grows wiser, wiser as the years roll on. Yes, we better make the world habitable for every human being, you should not be surprised when you get to heaven, when your supposed �enemy� would welcome you to paradise. If not bitterness and vengeance, what else would make one wish another person hell or everlasting suffering? We should listen to the writer of �To kill a mocking bird� and rather make the world a better place instead of waiting till heaven to address wrongs, make sure it is never repeated and conciliate both sides. What the ascetic who claims to be meditating and does not concern himself with the happenings in the world does not realise is that he is silently in his subconscious wishing another person perhaps a rebirth of a cow ( a kind of �that�s right for your wickedness on earth�) without having an inkling that the wickedness he allows to take place even though may not be affecting him directly, is affecting him indirectly. What about the Christian who wishes another person hell or everlasting suffering, he also silently in his heart of heart wishes bad things to bad people! Of course, don�t you think it is when you habour jealousy, hatred, envy and have an unforgiving heart that you will not be concerned about the various inhumane treatments, wickedness, poverty about you and rather wish those who perpetuate these things hell! Well, if you have listened to the Master you claim you admire, you would have strove to make the world a better place (�Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you�). You wonder what that means, think prayerfully (sincerely this time) about that statement. Well, I am not surprised anyway, there are no Christians in the world in my own estimation, all we have are hypocrites and socialising church goers. And the Muslims who think because they fast once in a year and pray five times daily would make them go to heaven even though immediately before they fast they tried to poison someone to death or embezzled large amount of funds and even though immediately they finished the praying the last prayer for the day, don the hood of wickedness. This world, religions are too much, of course, bring them on, we have a lot of religions and the world is this bad what if there is none? Or there is little! And people would shout the churches are too many, please they are too small, let them build more, for of course there are plenty churches people that are supposed to be helped by churches suffer what if there are none or there are too little. And people would say that almost every house has a Mosque in some countries, I plead let them build more for with all these people still have the gut and desire to be terrorists! As for me, religion, I will not establish one, church, I will not build any but I will strive to make the world better than I found it in my own little way and even in my handicapped capability! Alas, Man, have you been taught by nature, please go out into the open, where there is a little bush, and tell me if you find only one type of plants! If not, then don�t bemoan the varieties and multiplicity you see around you, instead appreciate them and therefore seek for harmony and unity in diversity! Enough is enough, man grow up, you are still behaving like a kid! Grow up! You are old enough now! Make the world a better place! As for me, the greatest victory has been wrought me by God through the White Men (White Man, I will always appreciate you!). For making them to come about something like internet and of course to make it somehow free! (of course most of us have taken the ability to be able to read and write for granted - thanks for that too.) and as such affording me the benefit to write about my adventure in life so far. 'Bi a ba se ni loore, ope l'a da'.

  Man who told you that you are dull that you are not brilliant that you cannot get the intellect that those who are intellectuals have? Oh! Is that the reason why you sit taciturn and allow them to mismanage your life and existence severally, individually, and in their various silent institutions emanating in guise of many brotherhoods, sororities, sisterhoods, fraternities and the like? Man who told you that you cannot be doctors, lawyers, etc- man who told you that the best you can be is Bus Conductor or the mate and because of that you allowed those delinquents to destroy your future and the future of your children by eating your taxes and mismanaging the resources that naturally endowed your land and keep you continually in abject poverty. Man those people who are your problems know you very well, they know that you can sow, they know that you have the capacity and a great capacity at that to sow and (considering the fundamental law of nature) you will reap when you sow, because of that, they are disturbing you from sowing so that you may not get anything to reap; and of course the few of you who struggled to sow have their harvest stolen from them in guise of so many tax laws and what have you. Man, don�t allow them to lie to you that because they can�t trace your income you don�t pay tax, don�t you know that you pay tax as long as you buy whatever article? As long as you work to earn a living you pay tax even though you income is not easily traced, you still pay tax. On every food you eat, on every article you buy you pay tax so don�t allow anyone to tell you that you are not a tax payer, you may not be a direct income tax payer but you pay tax. The world has become so sophisticated from the time of Adam Smith that rarely does anyone escape taxes again!!That is why their delinquent spirit is constantly keeping you under. Man, you that you are poor, do you know your problem: timidity and stupidity and do you know the weakness of that person who is rich? Hypocrisy and Sycophancy. That is it man. Wake up! Wake Up! If you don�t wake up you will find yourself that in the next 1000 years you are still grappling to find your daily bread whilst that other person that is mired in Hypocrisy and Sycophancy is reeling in ill gotten opulence. Man, wake up, My name is Jude and I am waking you up! Sore! Leve toi! Ji, wake up right now - if you don�t you will be shocked that your children�s children will be more precarious than you are! They lie to you! They said there is no food for Lazy person, have you ever seen a lazy person? It is the person who says that and believes that there is no food for Lazy person. Because he knows that if he doesn�t say that you will not wake up to the realization that you need to work for him to live. Therefore, you become his slave!!! Man, there is no food for stupid man! Not lazy man, it is the stupid man that will never have anything to eat. But the cunning one will always survive. Man the only lazy person is the one who sleeps 24hours! Every day of his life? Can you show me that person? No of course, so you are not lazy, your existence don�t just put you into productive use, they who manage your affairs are glad when they see you sit beside the Ludo and the Draughts and sometimes the Chess table, for by so doing you will not be able to question and come to the realization that they are slowly (slowly? What am I saying ke? Fastly!) making your life miserable for you whilst you sit with Ludo, Draughts and Chess board and your children ask you chop money and school fees you tell them you are out of work! Don�t allow anyone to deceive you and tell you you are lazy. Wake up! Man. Your problem is your pastor, your evangelist, your lawyer, your doctors and the like�Wake up man, you will continue to pray to God for your daily bread till the next 1000 years if you are not careful. Man, don�t you think you insult God when you ask him to give you your daily bread when the vegetation is green and the sun is high up there? Don�t you think you insult God when you tell him it is his grace that is keeping food on your table when he has given you the gift of life? Man, I am sure you have the capacity to think, so I am asking you to think because if you don�t think, UN will go and NN will come and they will continue to tell you water for all by the year 2000 and something, food for all by the year 3000 and something and the people who constitute the UN will die and will go and other people will join in the vicious cycle of hypocrisy and sycophancy and you will still be expecting your savior to come and deliver you from the stupidity and timidity of your life. As for me, I will never hurt you, therefore, I refused to join them. I don�t stick out my tongue to commit immorality with anybody (I don't also deal in other gestures of slavery) and when anyone sticks out �its� tongue at me, I feign non - comprehension, neither am I going to collude with delinquents to deny you of your rights: food, clothing and shelter, that is why I am telling you this: I have seen enough troubles in my growing years than for me to join the bandwagon and I have sworn, a long time ago, on the love that was never allowed to grow between me and my mother that I will never join anyone to hurt you that is why I am waking you up, man you still sleep, wake up now! My sojourn in Ghana made me come across some graphic designers from Italy, beautiful designers, they taught me some tricks in graphic designing and of course we used to engage in serious conversations. Do you know what they told me one day, that one of the reasons why we are poor in Africa is because we are taciturn that we are not angry at all. That is why we are suffering, being an Ijebu man, I immediately know that they are talking about �ebode�, we all in Africa have �gbebode�, if not that we have �gbebode� how can you allow another person to waste your life away like that and at that you join them in raising family and bringing on children to serve as slave that you also are? Man, wake up now! You like to go to Europe? You like to go to America? Do you think that America became America without toil, sweat and lots of blood? You like to go to Europe, you like to go to Britain, Spain, Portugal? Etc. do you think if those people have been stupid and timid as you are you will be enjoying the technological advancement of today, take France, one of the greatest achievements of Europe, do you know about the Revolution? Okay, okay, they don�t read the Tale of Two Cities again, I read that in Secondary School, so you don�t know about France, well, the beauty of France, the liberty and Freedom you see in France now was paid for by toil, sweat and blood. Have you ever thought about Great Britain? Hmn! You don�t know that the British were living in homes made with thatched leaves and were killing their geniuses for witchcrafts, sorcery and the like? Do you know that when the Romans romped upon them they were called Barbarians? Look at Britain today, sweet sight and delightful scenery, and of course, the great home of William Shakespeare and �Sir Francis Bacon�(!!) . Every time I sit down to enjoy the Premier League, I sometimes thank God for the spirit of those courageous ones who shook away the yoke of Rome and not only that encouraged themselves to positive and concrete constructive achievements. So please do something about your very own existence, stop blaming the slave trade, stop blaming another one for your inadequacies and when you go to Europe or America, go there to be wise!(Added on Feb.9th 2008)

  Women, don�t worry I am a feminist, I vowed to be that a long time ago, when I found out that they lied against my mum and perpetrated evil deeds against a helpless orphan. Now, let�s reason together women. Who told you that it is the man that will take care of your child for you? Hmn! O ma se ooo? Instead of you to develop yourself and be independent to the extent that you will be able to take care of those you carried in your womb you were waiting for a man to do that for you? Who told you that man is capable of love anyway? Does he have a womb? Does he know how to give birth, does he suckle or know how to suckle? Can someone who cannot carry and care for a life forming foetus for nine months within her ever know what is care and affection? Listen, if men ever know love, why then do we have wars (Hey, I�ve heard about the Amazon, but such are just aberrations), why do we have oppression and poverty all about? Who ever told you that a man falls and knows how to love is a big liar and you being not pragmatic believed in their age long lies they call truth? Come to think of it, how can someone who cannot suckle understand (overstand? Some Jah! People will want me to say, well, I don�t follow their sect anyway, but I like Bob Marley�s music) what is care or tender care? How can someone who never carried anything for 9 days in his �womb� understand what is affection? Now a man will tell you he loves you and you will believe that and you will because of that forgot about your ambitions and follow him thinking that he will help you to achieve your aim. Woman, we are no more primitive, the world has gone through so many epochs of civilization that right now, what a man can do, a woman can do very well, and considering the way lust is going about in the world now, you better get a career for yourself and please if you can get more than one, the better for you and beware if anyone tells you he loves you! Men are normally fascinated by that which is sweet symmetry, solid structure and beautiful. Beware, sex is not love and sex is not marriage, don�t forget that you will only be ready to bear a child for anyone after you have successfully acquired some sort of qualifications that will give you the security of taking care of that which you bear. Men don�t love and they don�t know how to love, I have thought about this critically, philosophically, psychologically and sociologically, men cannot love and men don�t have the capacity to love, it is only the woman that can love. So woman, even though your guy is a responsible man, reliable and trusting, it is only for a space of time, after which you will see traces of the opposites of these qualities in him. Go and ask those women whose husbands stay at home, it is either they have carefully selected their lifetime companion or are keeping them behaved because of plenty prayers and of course, other things that I better not write now. Beware, if you�re not lucky that the burden of shaping the lives of those you brought forth is still heavy then you will have yourself to blame. Please young girl, don�t fall in love with anybody until you�re ready to start working and start having a steady source of income that will make you comfortable. People like us have so much to say on how we have strove to be someone on our own. Please young girl, your career first! Sex is sweet, I will not lie to you, sex is not wrong, I will not lie to you, but the consequences of unsafe sex and immature adventure are very grave. Please young girl, men don�t fall in love, they can like you greatly, have great passion and infatuations for you, but they don�t have the capacity to love. Think about this greatly, and if there are those who have the capacity to love, well, they are very few, and very scarce to come by. Please young girl, you are the real future of the world, you are the real hope of the nations if you don�t take care of yourself and put your career first, you end up regretting your past. A word is enough for the wise (so they say, from those days when words were few) you may think, but plenty of words is nevertheless not useless. (Added 21st February, 2008)

  How did I meet Mrs. Eperokun, you may ask? There I was contemplating of finally calling it quit (of course for a year or two, I supposed) with Ogun State University, I was fed up with the kind of way I was living, on the very edge of poverty with strenuous complications, I knew I could not continue like that because I was guessing it might have serious consequences for me in future. I decided not to live strenuously again. After I finished my secondary school, I remembered that one day I just finished a plate of rice and I started having a very serious stomach upset. I was aghast, and thinking seriously that such a thing had not happened to me before, of course, it happened to me when I visited uncle Soye in his house for the very first time, I had a very serious stomach problem, I had to wake Bro �Dewale up in the middle of the night because of it. I was thinking that perhaps it was because of the change of environment, I did not know that it was the accumulation of stress I had gone through all my life up till that point that resulted in my stomach problem, I did not know at all. Then, when I came back to Ijebu � Ode, I later found out that whenever I took anything hot, or peppery, I would be having stomach upset. Later that week, I went to a medical doctor and he solemnly told me that I had ulcer. I could not believe it, then trust me, I started asking people about ulcer and the rest and of course, I started reading about ulcer also, then I started praying that the ulcer would go (Of course, ulcer had gone now) and up till the time I was still a student at the Ogun State University, the ulcer was still there, it was this that advised me to call it quit with Ogun State University and to go to �Dare�s father to get me a job in the bank or somewhere. This was the thought I had in my mind, I was in my second year at the Ogun State University, in the very first semester and of course, few weeks into it, I was really contemplating calling it quit when suddenly out of the blues I started seeing notices that students should make use of the guardian and counseling centre and if any student was ready to make a major decision that might impact on his studies, such a student should make sure he visited the guardian and counseling centre first before embarking on such a decision, when I saw that notice, I said: �who told these people I was trying to quit school anyway, for that directive affected me straightaway and I was contemplating on whether to go or not, I said, I�ve made up my mind anyway, I would just go and tell them that I was not interested in schooling for the time being that time anyway. I said, why should I go anyway, would they give me a scholarship or what (I had known that time that such thing would never come to guys like me who were not ready to comply with the status quo or know one or two people in one or two places in the society and who are ready to help you with no strings attached. Only God knows how much I had attempted to get scholarship or sponsorship towards my education). Well, I decided to call it quit with school for that time and for the time being. Not because I was not doing well academically, of course, my As were few so also were my Cs, but my Bs were much more than my As and I was not happy with that, ever since Oyesanya had told me that I and Adebesin were inspirations to him that sometimes when he felt like sleeping or not doing anything and immediately he remembered the two of us, he would just refuse to sleep and would go on learning that he wanted the three of us to be the very first, first class students in Accounting in our department, I had resorted to leaving the school, for without As how can I get first class and with my depleting health, I was really alarmed, I did not want to disappoint Segun Oyesanya and I did not want Segun Oyesanya to become complacent because of my grades. I better not use my financial incapacitation to affect another�s person quest for achievement I thought. Then I thought about my health, the way I was just leaving on the edges of poverty, not that I fell sick frequently and seldomly like others, no, but the ulcer was not abating, it was ulcer I thought, what would come next, and of course, I never wanted anything short of the best I could get. But before I did it, I decided to check if I was still �good� (I mean, my own definition of being �good� academically, not the original one defined for us by the standards around us, for if you are to sincerely judge by the standards around, I was still good even though I had only splices of As and Cs here and there according to their standards, but to my own standards, I was not doing well at all. Yeah, I remember, Segun Oyesanya once lent a book to me called �IP: The impostor phenomenon, telling me that the reason why I thought I was not doing well was well written in that book; as for books, Segun Oyesanya introduced me to so many good books and of course, most of them American, he usually went to America at the end of every semester and always bringing me books and introduced me to so many great American writers. Sege, thanks for that. So, Mr. Aje, our lecturer in Cost Accounting told us, that we will be having a Cost Accounting test. Yeah, I said this is the opportunity to know I was still good and If I should quit school, I would be sure I was still good still. So, I literally left Oru and I went to live with Mr. Tony Adeyemi and my very good friend: Fafiolu (faffy), how I became their friends will be made known later. I knew that If I stayed with them for like a weekend and use that opportunity to learn for the test I would not need to worry myself of what to eat or go somewhere to work in order to eat, and I would be able to study with adequate concentration without necessarily worrying myself of what I would eat in the morning or endure another pangs of ulcer pains. So, we had the test and I scored a very good A+. Segun saw my scripts and was surprised and immediately cover his so that I would not see what he got but when I looked up at him, I knew I had fired him up for another bout of serious study. I was contented. Well, I woke up one day and I decided that that weekend, I would stop school. Then my mind went to that directive I had been seeing on the notice boards and I said, well, let me just go and notify them anyway. For I was not ready to do it formally, I just wanted to go away like that from that school. So I went to Ago � Iwoye that fateful morning to see �them� at the guardian and counseling unit, I was thinking of meeting some three of four people sitting in a conference with students in queue. I was surprised to find a secretary behind a seat asking me to sit down. She gave me a slip to fill and then went into the other room to announce the arrival of one of the �victims�. Lo and behold, she beckoned me to come in. There I saw her sitting on a chair, alone in the small office, looking at me and I asked myself, can only one person counsel me? Me? Okay ooo. I was wondering how just one person would advise against my decisions. From my very early development in life, I just don�t arrive at a particular stance, I would have given it an array of thoughts and questions before embarking on anything and if I should make up my mind, no Jupiter would make me change my mind again, unless of course the Jupiter is a matter of life or death. So she asked me to sit down and I sat down, she asked me what is my name I mentioned my name, Jude Adebosoye Ogunade, asked me my matriculation number, (of course the secretary had collected this information from me before I left for her office) 862782, I told her. She said: �Let us pray�. I said, (in my mind anyway) pray ke? Is that part of the counseling? Well, I obliged, though I was a Deeper Life �student� that time, I was not really interested in praying at that particular point in time, I just wanted to have my �informing� them done with and leave the room. When she finished praying, she asked, what can I do for you. Well, I just wanted to tell you that I am not interested in schooling again at least for now, I want to go and work and come back to school later when I am ready with adequate financial resources to do it. She said, how was your result, as for my result they are ok, I replied, she then called the secretary, telling her to go downstairs and look for the result of 862782, that she would like to see it, meanwhile, we started talking about other things, the way the girls dressed to school, the way, the students behaved, riotously, not facing their studies, making noises. I was not actually listening to our converse, even though I was adding my own views intermittently, my mind was not with her, my mind was on how I would approach �Dare Kuku�s father to tell him I was not interested in school again (I had told Dare about it, he said he could not talk to his father about that for me that I should go myself), what if Dare�s father refused, how I was going to go about getting jobs for myself at the customs,NITEL, blah blah, blah, was just going on in my mind. Then the secretary came in with my result she looked at my result, from the Secondary School result, to the JAMB scores to my previous two semesters� result , she looked at me again this time critically and askance and said; you are a very good student but why do you want to stop school? (I shook myself inside of me and said: �bo de ba ro se ba ro ya�; this woman did not really know what she was talking about, the thoughts continued inside of me). Then she said, tell me about yourself from the day you were born. I said, from the day I was born, but why do you want me to tell you about myself from the day I was born, if you want me to help you, she replied, in order for me to be able to advise adequately on your decision, you must tell me about yourself. Then I just burst. I started weeping and I told her everything about myself succinctly up to that point in my life. Even though my primary and secondary school mates knew scantily about me, what I told Mrs. Eperokun that day was more than I ever told any other person, I did not know what came upon me, I told her everything that I could remember though she was interrupting intermittently with questions, perhaps to clarify someting in her thoughts and after telling her all that I could remember about myself up to that point in my life that day, everywhere went silent. Nothing talked except of course the banging on the typewriter by her secretary and the voom, voom, voom of the fan. Then she said: Ade, I will like you to be my son! She ended that statement with a very deep sigh. 'Ade, you are one in a million!' Ade, I will like to take you to my house to introduce you to my family but first, we will go to your father!'. I said why, what for? To beg him on your behalf of course she replied. I said: Beg my father? She said yes, hmn? I said. Well, I could not believe Mrs. Eperokun's action, and reactions towards me. I said, so good people still exist in this world, so sincere people still exist in this world, so people who would not because of their affiliations, positions, their own way of life, and orientation belittle something of commendation still exist in this world? I really could not believe what I heard her said to me or her actions towards me. Should I say I was flabbergasted, nonplused or taken unaware by her sincerity and kind gesture? Well, in fact, up till that point, nobody had ever called me Ade before? Then I told her: "My name is 'Debo, not Ade." "Hmn! She replied, I know your name is 'Debo, but I prefer to call you Ade." "But everybody calls me 'Debo! "Yes, I know, but I prefer to call you Ade, you are Ade, you are a crown, a priceless personality! I was even more enthused. So when she mentioned that she would take me to her house I was the more determined to see her family, I was telling myself, definitely this woman's husband must be a very great man (Show me your wife and I will tell you the kind of person you are). I was very ready to follow her to her house. But then we went to my house first, she drove a peugeot 504 salon car that time. Immediately I got to 'my' house, my 'daddy' was of course in and immediately she entered our sitting room she said: 'Let us pray'. There she went on her knees and of course everybody also went on his/her knees and so we prayed. Afterwards she begged my father to please take care of me that he would be surprised how great I would be in future. Well, yes, indeed my father changed. But as it was during Mrs. Ibikunle's time, during Mr. Adedeji's time, so was it also during Mrs. Eperokun's time, my 'daddy' changed for only two weeks. And afterwards, everything started all over again. But then, hers was different. I had an oasis in her and her family, I had a period of rest and repose from my problems, I was assisted in so many ways they could as far as their resources could help them. And of course, as far as I could go out of my 'shell'. We went to her house, and I was surprised at the confidence, the glee, and the enthusiasm she proclaimed, exclaimed and told everybody in her house that I am her son. I entered the house through her kitchen door, there in the living room was Mr. Eperokun, the very first person she took me to, to greet. A very quiet, non - assuming and deep thinking being. I was very lucky to meet and interact with that man. I admired him a lot, of course, secretly. Of course, what do you expect from someone who had 'Atlas Shrugged' in his library. I did not even read that book until about six years later after knowing them. My dear readers, I know you are intelligent, I know you can think, but I know also that you might(in your mind) tell me that you don't like reading voluminous books such as Atlas Shrugged. Please in your life time, don't get past the age of 25, that was the age I was when I read the Altas Shrugged for the first time before reading Atlas Shrugged and if you've passed 25 already, don't get past the age of 40 before reading it. Well, not only Atlas Shrugged, please get also Nikolai Gogol's 'Dead Souls' please read these two books before you get to the age of forty. Then you will live your life, I bet you, devoid of frustrations and hopeless expectations. Then, I am sure you'll have acquired the wisdom you need not only to live the way you want with no remorse at the end of the day but also to see the hypocrisy and lies flying all about. Yes, I took her immediately as my heroine, the very first and only heroine, I've ever got in my life. Perhaps I will get another one when I get married who knows, but she still remains my only priceless heroine. So I used to ask myself, what made this woman to suddenly talk to me the way she talked, to suddenly help me, to suddenly accept me just like that. That woman must have a fast thinking brain and must have heard so many situations close to mine to the extent that she recognised mine to be very peculiar and to decide to come to my aid. Well, I used to wonder in my heart, was it because she was not expecting a young boy of nineteen (19) to have been a bus conductor (mate), to have been a porter (alaru/kayayo)at various sawmills, construction sites, to have been 'soft drinks seller', to have been, a 'wash boy' (that's what people who wash cars were called in those days)and yet to have been a 'very good student' sitting in front of her in a university? In those days when immorality was reigning like nothing else, in those days when people abandoned principles for cash, in those days when some young people use their 'broken homes' situation as excuse to commit immorality and lived haywire, in those days when people were 'talking with tongues, winks and the likes' to sell their body and of course their souls (you people did not really understand the reason why Jesus Christ helped you). I don't think the Bible really have a full description of the saving power of Jesus Christ, search the scriptures they said, not the Bible, there are other many different scriptures, those who compiled the Bible were just one of those ones who wanted the status quo to remain what it was and quickly put something together so that we could continue the ancient traditions of oppressions. Of a truth man, you must search the scriptures, you must read, have you ever asked yourself why is it that the world is still bad despite the fact that people carry Bible up and down? Hmn! Well, I had chosen my path a long time ago, even before I met Ayn Rand through Atlas Shrugged, it was just that I did not know that another person thought like me, it was just that I did not know how I ought to go about it, but thank God, since I read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, I had decided in my heart to follow Ayn Rand and follow her path to my destination. Thanks Ayn Rand. Thanks Mrs. Eperokun. For people like us, committing obscene immorality for cash or favour or for anything at all was just too expensive, too luxurious, so much that we cannot afford it and of course, had to go the hard way, the very hard way to success in life. I am talking about sexual immorality, whether bisexually or homosexually, people like us cannot afford it and of course we went the hard way, but then we are glad that we went the hard way and it is paying for us. After all, our society was closed that time, we thought everybody in the world was like that, we thought before you can pass, you need to pay ass, but then thank God information technology has made the world open and we see the world in different and varying perspectives: there are many corrupt, wicked and evil people everywhere and of course, there are also many principled, good and honest people everywhere. OH! the people of LEMURIA, OH! the people of ATLANTIS, please forgive us!!!!

  Sometimes, I am annoyed, really annoyed the way we blame the white man for our inadequacies, every little thing we blamed it on the white man, as if, the fact that you are free, liberal and forward means you should immolate your body, and sell yourself in order to show off to others your acquisitions and thought that other person that refused to bow was a fool. I remember when we were taught biology in the secondary school and the teacher taught us about puberty, and the like, of course, my mind went straight to circumcision, I said, so it is true, when you circumcise a boy, you made his penis more sensitive to sexual feelings, and when you circumcise girls, you make them less sensitive to sex. Hmn! no wonder, so instead of we boys in our growing years to have affection for girls, we drew up lines for them on our desks and told them not to dare cross the lines or else we beat them and they also complied, hmn, so we went on practising it with boys like ourselves, for of course, the girls have no feelings for us yet, yet, we are heated up every morning we woke up, Haba, Eniyan Ronu! (some of us were just very lucky not to have experienced such things), even the thing that the 'baba onikola would use to rub the place where he has circumcised is also coded genetically to make you submit willingly and become olundu to someone those the various oracles have commanded and 'chosen' to oppress you. Then the various races begin, the best person, the person who can kill without being caught, the person who can steal without being caught, the person who can do evil in order to acquire whatever without being caught then become the 'great' in our society. This world has been 'patarger' a long time ago. Thanks! Jehovah! And what do you have, girls are not ready for sex unless some other chief who has big money is ready to give them part of it, then they did it secretly and of course, they would get married, but our so called chiefs and elders have enjoyed the best part of our friends and sisters even before we got them. The various status quo rules and regulations were set up not to ensure justice but order! Not to liberate our minds but to compel us to behave! Then those who refused to leave their so called presexual experience friends become attached to them, and of course, the society frowns at such but in order for them to continue to do what they want to do, they set up various secret societies to perpetuate oppression and indulge deliquencies and which they quickly join to uphold the status quo because the society frowns at such and yet we blamed the white man for what has been in existence for thousands of years before even we knew if there was a Mungo Park! MY SON, GET WISDOM, AND IN ALL THEIR GETTING, GET UNDERSTANDING (proverbs)What Ayn Rand did not really know or perhaps knew was afraid to say it because it would affect the logic of her great book was that the victims and their oppressors have been compulsorily identified and chosen even before they knew their left from right as far as Africa is concerned! You see dear readers, it is not your fault, nor our fault, but we cannot fold our arms and allow situations to continue like that, that is why some people like us decided to talk and talk we will and we are doing. But whose faults, this is not the time to look for the person who is to be blamed! But then, these things had been on for thousands of years, Kai! Please when you read, think about what you read, when you read think about what you read objectively. So, oracles who promised Alexander the Great, promised Ghengis Khan, and the likes that they would make them great must at the same time set things in motion that would make these people great and of course what do you have? Designs, who tells you that the sexual feelings you have is normal? Who tells you that jealousy is normal (forget about those nonsense psychological discourse) who tell you that it is normal for your penis to wake up strong in the middle of the night if you are not married? All these were designs, spiritual designs, but we never thought past so many things that happen around us, we think about them only on the surface. O ma sheoooo Hmn! Only God knows what Jim Jones designed when he committed suicide with so many people and what about those other cult who followed Halleys Comet somewhere. Readers, why is it that the taboos that will affect you if broken in a particular area, will not affect you if broken in a different area? Have you ever asked yourself that question? And who told you everybody that died went to heaven immediately? Hmn! Eniyan Ronu, please search and search.

  Ade: I'll like you to be my son! That word was the first encouragement, compliment, commendation, and a well done I have ever received in my life up to that point. The second I have ever received from any one and only one I've received from my own biological mother several years later. (Added 8th March 2008, 2:25p.m.GMT)

  Well, it happened in 1992 (my effective final year, for I had my final year studying accounting thrice, the third one was the one that was actually recorded for me, for then, I was allowed to do my registration, dis world na wah ooo!), the ASUU people decided to go on five months strike action; and I was just staying with Bro 'Dapo at Oworonsoki when my mother came around to say hello, telling me that she heard I was there and decided to say hello to me, she came with a friend of hers. Then began the dialogue: 'is it true that 'Deoye does not support you again? Yes ma, then how have you been faring, well, I survive nevertheless, sebi I told you about one woman called Mrs. Eperokun' Oh! Yes, she has been helping you? Of course, she is trying according to her capacity but you know, I still have to struggle for myself'. Ok, so what about your personal effects, how do you take care of your clothing and the rest?' I don't normally care about such things, my goal is to study and learn and do what I have to do without considering those things. she then said Hmn! So does that mean you don't dress well?' Oh! Ma, I am not concerned about such things, I don't have anyone to show off to, only myself, I am concerned about my future and its starts today, therefore, I have to develop myself such that I will be able to survive and live well in the future'. 'Hmn!' she added again. 'I hope your situation is not affecting your studies' Oh! Ma, my situation affecting my studies? No way, I don't care about what people say about my dressing, I am concerned about how I do well in my studies, that is all, as long as I am able to provide for what I can eat myself, then I will definitely learn, the main thing is to be able to eat and survive.' When I finished that particular sentence, she looked at me, looked at her friend and said: 'Se o ngbo! Omo Ni yen oooo'

  Bola Okusaga, is one person I cannot forget easily, he was a support in those days, actually, he told me that his father's story was like mine that his father used to tell them about how he struggled when he was growing up and also that he became successful at the end of the day. Yes, Mr. Okusaga achieved a bit of success in his somewhat short lifespan, he died at the age of 64 when Bola (at that time, one of his numerous children) was in Class Four (fourth year in the secondary school). Whenever I felt tired after closing from Deeper life meetings, I would just branch at Bola Okusaga's place to rest, or eat. And the father always advised me that time, telling us to just face our studies. However, 'Bola Okusaga liked too much enjoyment, parties, and the like, we did not really move along well. I was the Deeper Life type of student, School, to menial work, to fellowship, to house (thank God for Baba Apebi's house, I, at least had a roof over my head) and then to school again. A kind of what people call, triangular student. I am not actually against people enjoying themselves, but I sometimes feel nonplussed and flabbergasted when people feel at ease enjoying themselves when many around them wallow in abject poverty, I sometimes feel surprised when I see people enjoy, party and dance when there are frowned faces all around them. Well, I wouldn't say you should not enjoy yourself but hmn, be careful how you go about it after all the whole world celebrates youth. No where can you find anything of worth that is not in celebration of the strength of youth. Think about it, all the technology advancements and gadgets are particularly engineered and directed towards the enjoyments of the youth. Therefore, enjoy your youth for the time will come when you will not have any strength to enjoy those things that glitter around you. This is for those who believe more in pleasure and leisure than in duty and self denial. Please make sure in your quest to enjoy your youth you don�t hurt other people and cause sadness and unhappiness for many, for after all, what is the use of your enjoying in the midst of frowned faces and glooming appearances.

  Also, Taofik Adafejo and his tailor brother, those guys helped, thanks men. Taofik used to be surprised at me a lot, used to wonder what kind of person I am, being an Ijebu man, yet refused to advise myself Ijebu wise and alleviate my sufferings, Yeah, I am kind of a person who like learning things from life. I like taking each day like a book, learning whatever I can from the things around me, whether living or non living, and thank God, I was able to in my own little way understand this world.

  In those days, life was so vapid and so bland, thank God that my head was nevertheless not blank. I lived in rapid reluctance to the dictates of my compulsive itineraries which I must follow like the branches of a well rooted tree dancing to the tune of the silent winds. Hope my readers would believe that I had to walk close to a distance of about 25 kilometers before I could get books to read, to where of course, to the library, at Ago Iwoye when in fact the only food I would have for the day was Gari soaked in well water! (Yeah, Mr. Adenuga - my father�s friend with whom I lived at Oru, had a well) Thank God I did not lack water.

  They tell you that �omo to ba mo wo we a ba gba je� and because of that you mingle with the �elders�, corrupt elders, delinquent elders, because you want to ba gba je, to the detriment of the remaining people in your society, and of course, you want to feel better, live better than your peers, and even if in your bid to do that, you went on to practice the immoral and corrupt practices the elders are doing that is making them to also �eat big� to the detriment of their peers, you continue the status quo of oppression and yet you have the gut to say ha, the world is not good, that ha, Nigeria ti ba je, that ha, there is poverty, without you knowing (or perhaps you know, you were just too hypocritical to admit) that is your collusion with the elders that is still making oppression to continue. So my readers, that is the problem with the society, as long as we still feel comfort and ease among many who have nothing to eat talk less of to take their baths (there are millions like that in Africa, my readers), and of course, you engage in corruption and the amassment of wealth, O ma sheooo, instead of us to create wealth in Africa, we waste wealth, why are we like this anyway? Instead of us to create wealth and create more and be productive, we pile up riches, we pile up possessions, possessions that are just sitting down doing nothing for no one. Yet, we say we are poor in Africa, we are not poor in Africa, we are just too timid, stupid and fearful enough to rise up and change the status quo. My friend, don�t just sit there piling up possessions, use them to create wealth, let every possession you have be those that will be put to productive venture and don�t just allow them to sit and rot away like that.

  Tell them that I say that God does not need my approval to be God. That the Ancient of Days and the omnipresent does not need me to acknowledge Him before He will do what he ought to do to make my life bearable for living for me (tell them it is the aggregate of evil that will need acknowledgment, tell them that it is only evil that needs to be pampered and persuaded to stop its battering, that God is much more than that. Tell them that I said that almost all their religious books are full of craps all written and legitimize with the name of God to make it credible. Tell them that of course there are wise things in what they wrote in most of their religious books but such wise things can also be found in books that are not branded religious. Tell them, that God does not need me to pray 'voice soundless' before I will be delivered from evil because God does not sanction evil and God is not a wicked God who will want me to beg him every day before I can get my daily bread. Tell them that that you read my book and I said these things! Enough is Enough!!!

  We pay too much emphasis on established procedures even though the light of new developments in science and technology has made these procedures obsolete we still cling to them as if they are the life blood of existence. Man, instead of you to marry your wife based on pragmatic considerations and cogent reasons you were looking for virgins!!! Man, wake up! Don�t you think it will be foolish of you to have looked for �true virgins� in this world where many place too much premium on it. Do you think men are not sharp and clever and cunning? Don�t you think it is possible for men to have devised means of having sex with girls and to have found the means of still making these girls to appear as virgins?

  Hmn! How can I ever forget the intelligent Otulana Baggies? Or the Philosophic Segun Mayegun (the erstwhile NANS President), Segun Mayegun once had discussions with me on Taban lo liyong's 'Eating Chiefs' (I came across that book in Mr. Eperokun's library) and of course it was during the course of that discussions that I came to realise the mind of an average politician. Segun Mayegun was surprised one day to find out that I was reading Accounting and that in fact, I am in my second 'dummy' final year in accounting, he said, all along, he thought I was doing philosophy, he then confessed that the discussion he had with me about Existentialism really helped him in his philosophy class test (he did not know that Dr. 'Dokun Jagun, had introduced me earlier to Jean Paul Satre's 'Being and Nothingness') Some of the things we used to discuss at Mariere Hall (Baluba Kingdom)in those days pertained to the fact of the various rots in the society! Do you know where this phrase comes from �School Father�? Because the boys who attend boarding house are made to follow and toe the line of the seniors who behaved like fathers to them. And mind you, not all fathers are good! Then, that also reminds me one day I was in the church(mind you since the Deeper life people refused to help talk to my HOD to sign my registration, I had stopped attending church regularly, so I don�t go to church, I go to church whenever I feel like) and one old man was saying that what these boys practise in the boarding houses is homosexualism (I beg your pardon � Bisexualism, because most of these boys also have girlfriends and mind you, they grow to become men and what do men practise when they grow up? Bisexualism of course), I laughed aloud inside of me, he, not being in the know or think some of us don�t know that the same delinquencies that most fathers fuck their daughters and their sons before even allowing them to get out of their house in the first instance because they know that they might not know what might happen to these ones when they leave their homes to go out into the world and of course because of what the fathers do at home to these kids when they get to their various boarding houses they see the seniors practising and they qualified these seniors with the term �father� so the seniors were just repeating what the fathers have done to their children when they were growing up at home!

  Actually the problem with our African society is that most of us are so deceived to the extent that we were told to believe that we should take whatever our elders do to us for we would also do that to others when we grow up. That means that we would continue the oppressive nature of the society and we cry, the society is bad? One of the things Olanipekun (that guy beat the hell out of me when I was in secondary school, just because he wanted me to take up his position - he was a school prefect) telling me that I would also do that to those who were coming after me. I was a Christian, a born again Christian by the time I became a school prefect and as such, I did not beat the junior ones unnecessarily as the seniors beat me. The only difference was that I would beat you if you were indolent or disrespectful. 'Anyways', 'anyways', any of you boys, if you think senior �Debo had beaten you unnecessarily when he was Chapel Prefect, well, I have nothing to say but �sorry� I mean it, I am saying sorry to anyone who thought I had beaten him unnecessarily. (I have come to start respecting the Catholic Church - Of course, I had fallen in love with the Jesuit long time ago - when the Pope came out openly to apologise! I was surprised, if a very powerful entity like the Catholic Church can apologise like that, who am I not to say sorry, even though I know deep inside of me that I was a gentle senior!) The only thing is that I never thought I had beaten someone unnecessarily for considering the excruciating nature of my house when I was growing up, perhaps, my hand was too high on you boys, well, boys, nevertheless, I am saying sorry to you all. But all of you know that senior �Debo was a gentle guy anyway. Up JOGS!!! I was a very humble student; my financial constraints actually did not help the matter. There I was in form five with still the Adetunji Sunday Adegboyega Ogunade�s �baggy� as the only trouser I had, and which was getting ragged and of course, Wasiu Adeyemo ( I should believe I did not forget this guy�s name) came to my rescue and borrowed me his shorts which his father mistakenly sewed too large, if not, I would have had to be going around with ragged baggy and yet Wasiu Adeyemo was three years my junior at JOGS! So you see boys, I was not high on you for I thought about those things sometimes and I mellowed down where others would have been enraged.

  I remember when Niyi Ikorodu (I won�t mention his surname, this great individual, he read civil engineering and he is from Ikorodu, this guy was a great help to me in those days) hinted me that perhaps the reason why I was not being allowed to do my registration was because somebody somewhere was interested in my **** or something, I said henhen! He said yes, I better toe the line if I want my registration done, or I go to a powerful juju man to deal with them. I told myself, if that is the case, they will wait tire, they think that if I see my former class mates coming to woo the girls with their shinning cars and status I would then run to them with my **** begging so that I can get what I rightly deserved?. 'O ma sheeoo, eni wa ati sun akan, a pe leti omi'. I often wonder when people want guys like us to use the conventional time table to achievements! My dear, you need your own path to life, your own time table if you really have things to do in this world, don't go about the established time table of this world, if not, you may not be able to do those things that are dear to your heart.

  So what do you have? After the fathers or rightly the 'elders' have finished �disvirgining� his sons and daughters and the daughter complaining that she is no more a virgin, the father will promise that he will make the daughter one. How? Can you eat your cake and have it? Yes, it is only in a female virginity that you can do that! Yes, this has been happening for many years, thousands of years I beg your pardon.

  I remembered when we were taught Biology and we were told about virginity and that the sign of knowing who a virgin is that there is a hymen that is a clot of blood. Also, we were taught about menstruation and I said? Hmn! Then all girls are virgins as long as they have not given birth before they reach menopause because as you know it, humans will always circumvent something that too much premium is on. So, the same thing that ladies have in abundance is the same thing that is used to determine whether they are virgins or not, o ma she oooo, deception has been in existence from the earliest epochs of man. So, perhaps most marriages are �ile t�a fi ito mo� ( I remember reading and watching such a Yoruba book and film when I was growing up) that is why we see marriages crumbling in this world because you did not really marry your wife because of a deep seated passion, you married her because of some nonsense established �deceptive procedures� and after about few years of marriage, the infatuations, the lust, and the small passion you have is dried up and you went looking for another, meanwhile, we Africans were wiser in that respect, we set up various customs and family relations and interactions to enable the man to come home every evening, give the man many wives if he wants, but not the audacity to send any of them packing, but of a truth, the one that refused to pack out of her husband�s house would see hell from the younger wives and of course would be left with the sole responsibility of taking care of those who are brought out of her womb, Eniyan Ronu! Actually, there we were from the ancient of times, talking about discipline, lying to many (not to people like us anyway) that the reason why we should marry a virgin is that it portrays discipline, the same elderly person who just spoke to me about discipline, and virgins, suddenly started chasing little girls! Do these ones think we were unreasonable? Well, thank God for the Buhari/Idiagbon administration, it was whilst they were teaching us this biology stuff and the society were drumming it into our ears about those virginity nonsense that that administration came about WAI (War Against Indiscipline), I said, so, discipline can be learnt, I said so, discipline is not innate? So what the nonsense that these elderly ones are talking about that the virgin girl is a discipline child! The same girl, you went about chasing with your ill gotten currency? The same girl you promised to teach the secret of virginity? It is a pity my readers, some of you are not Nigerians, even though, I feel very ready now to renounce my nationality (for private reasons, and very cogent reasons, because I cannot feel proud to be a citizen of a country that refused to stand up to defend me when some people made my life a hell for me and went on destroying all that I held sacred with �love�), it is an exciting experience being one. If you are a wise man, and you appreciate the comedy of life, please go and get resident in Nigeria for a few years and you will �laugh tire� I mean it, you will love it being in Nigeria, only if you can think. Come and see the way people who were riotous suddenly became discipline, come and see the way people who could not afford standing in queue suddenly became gentle at the sight of �Koboko� and sternly looking soldiers, come and see how people, queued to enter �molue�. And I said, so I was right? Discipline can be learnt, discipline is not innate, even though we were taught about genetics and the rest of those things, but I believe as much as adaptation to environment is concerned, the daughter of the most pious man in this world would become a harlot if faced with the circumstances, intricacies and situations that made most of those harlots one, except by divine intervention. This life na waoooo!

  I have not even spent two weeks at Unilag before I realized that there was �Oluwole� somewhere! Oh! you want to know about �Oluwole�? Hmn! Go and live in Nigeria, Lagos in particular and please put your ears on the ground, it will take you just few weeks and you will know about �Oluwole�. When we pay too much premium on anything, my friend, don�t go far, men are bound to corrupt that thing and instead of true individuals, truly good people and qualified people and competent ones for that matter to man places of responsibilities, you have craps and incompetence manning the reins of affairs and you wonder what is wrong with the society, you wonder what is wrong with the economy, you wonder what is wrong with man. Instead of you to take issues from their very own perspectives and judge them by the rudiments of the present, you based existence on some obsolete established practices? O ma seeooo. Man, what is wrong with you nah? With all your brain that the almighty God has given you, you still cling on things that are making you backward!

  So when I became �born again� in Class Four (fourth year in the secondary school), I was told to burn all the books I have collected whether on Rosicrucians or Freemasons or any other thing that I was interested in, I was told that these things are occultic and that God is against these things, well, I did, actually I just love esoteric works, it was painful to turn (back then) against those books though, actually, it was useful advice in those days because I then had time to read my school books more, and I did not go back to reading about these until after I have finished my youth service, for of course then, I had been disappointed by the mainstream Christianity and I was in a period of apostasy. Did I say disappointed, yes, I was. Well, I became born again in form four then I started attending churches and come and see the way the pastors talk against these so called secret societies, I said hmn! Are all these true? Well, I still had my doubts about the pastors preaching against them, I don�t know why, perhaps because I came across these very early in life (I mean external influences, I am not a member of any of them), but I decided to do my research, and I did, in the few countries I've lived in so far, what I found out, hmn! There are evil people everywhere; you should not say because a member of an organization hurt you therefore all the members of such an organization are wicked! Well, I found out that there are a lot of disenchantments about Freemasons and Rosicrucians, I used to tell myself, why? They I started my investigations, research and inquiry, (sometimes, boldness is not only when you face a man wielding cutlass to collect it from him) I feel the generality of the people are just too biased, take Freemasons for example, the fact that Jesus the Christ�s teachings and works survived outside Christianity today is kudos to them, but people�s minds are generally taking for rides by these so called high flying prophets, pastors and the like most of whom are nothing but ritualists, magicians and expert con men! I am usually surprised that these people were against the only two �secret societies� that I like, when there are countless more, was it because these two were the most popular? Or because they are not as secret? If I could come across teachings of Rosicrucians when I was just two years in secondary school, honestly I don�t think these two are �secret societies' as people claim (please watch Women's cot; it is possible for some people to have introduced some things along the line in the history and existence of these esoteric associations, I don't doubt that, but that does not remove the nobility of their initial intentions) and I strongly believe that they are even more noble that those multitude ridden �molue� churches!

  I don't blame them anyway, most of them were lured to build churches and love ambition by cunning spiritual powers. I remember when we just finished secondary school and prior to the release of our results, one of the things we engaged in was to organise fellowship meetings and of course, someone like me was chosen to pray, preach and lay hands, readers it was like magic to me, I was surprised, it was like before I even touch people's heads (especially those girls) veeeem, veeeem, they fall to the ground under 'anointing' I was like, what, was I so powerful spiritually, (of course, I had prayed for the sick who recovered immediately, several times and some even became my friends because of that)or something, but another calm spirit just told me to be careful they way I trode that perhaps I was being set up spiritually, therefore, I should not be carried away by what was happening, thank God I listened to that spirit, I might have become one of those high flying pastors now (man, beware of miracles, there is no vacuum in nature, a lot of people are performing magic and are using the name of Jesus Christ for credibility sake)

  One of the conditions attached to living in this world is the fact that every good spirit being that is to take on the human form would have to accept to relinquish part of its goodly nature. That is, the spirit being must be ready to allow in its whole positive essence something of negativity. Without this, the spirit being would not be able to live on earth. Have you seen any humility (not blind timidity, for Jesus Christ was humble but not timid) in the life of anyone around you? Yeah, that person may be a higher spirit being.

  But I have a question for my teachers? Those who taught me to read and write, those who taught me Christian Religious Studies, those who taught me civic responsibilities, those who taught me Economics and Government and those who taught me Political Science, Philosophy, Sociology and Psychology: Why is it that you did not tell me that most religions, most churches, most brotherhoods, most sisterhoods, the associations and groupings and various pseudo theories of psycho social existence is to celebrate mediocrity and indulge delinquents? Why is it that you did not tell me that even though people go to church, they are not able to control their senses? Why is it that even though people are judges yet they convict people for crimes they dare not convict someone who belong to their cliques talk less of their extended family members or their children? Why is it that the same person who smile to me on Sunday will get to work on Monday and will with just a stroke of pen steal millions in currency and yet if there is a thief who perhaps has not eaten for 2 days caught in his compound, he will demand that such a one be lynched to death. Why is it that you did not tell me that even though I am good, brilliant and intelligent, people will still require me to use my strength for immoral purposes before they can allow me to pass (Pay Ass), why is it that you did not tell me that even though there are laws made to catch the thief and the wrong doers only those who did not belong or do not know person and the poor and the weak that are caught? Why did you allow me to know this myself? Is it because you trust my intelligence so much that you knew that I will come to the realization of this? Or is it because you yourselves do not know this or is it that you are so timid to tell me, or is it that you think I was too small and that such a thing will alarm me? Why my teachers? Why my mentors?

  I pass the same route that the leaders of these churches pass, that the President of the country pass that the Imam of the Mosque pass, that the leaders of the most benevolent brotherhoods and fraternities pass, yet I see things that make my mind bleed, I see people living under the bridge, I see children sleeping on the streets, I see people in slums, I see physically disabled that are left to suffer in the heat of the sun to beg for alms to live on, I see kids who are bus conductors, I see toddlers who sell water, and my heart bleeds still and I asked, are these religious leaders humans or spirits? Are these Grand masters and Most Holy Reverends humans? Do they have feelings? Do they practise what they preach? Do they realize that they will not go to heaven with the comfort they surround themselves with whilst others suffer and of course there will be no paradise for them if per chance they get to heaven? Why is it that even though these ones preach these things yet they find it difficult to live by examples? Why is it that this was what I read in the histories and why is it that things still seem as they were? Why? Should I accept things as they write them in religious books and yet see my fellow man suffering without coming to his aid and whilst millions around me wallow in incapacitate hollow of poverty? Yeah, I know that fingers are not equal, but their inequality is in a space of interdependency and no finger is more important that the other! Hmn! Thank you �ka se ka ri mi�, Thank you �vain pride�, Thank you �jealousy�, Thank you �envy� and Thank you �hatred and dislike� you do well to keep men in immaturity! If heaven were what we were told it is in any of these religious books, none of us living right now is fit for paradise. Hey wait, don�t argue and don�t go away in a hurry, read your Bible very well, Jesus the Christ takes you to heaven but not paradise. Please read your Bible carefully�(Added April 29th 2008; 6:40p.m. GMT)

  Actually my interest in the University was raised by My darling Teacher �Mr Adeyemi Alamu� I know Muyiwa Oyekan (my 'first born', would have been wondering by now why I have not yet mentioned him). Mr Adeyemi Alamu, though disabled was able to go up to the Master�s level, I was impressed, and whilst I was in Unilag, was my intermittent source of livelihood, not that I asked him to give me money directly but whenever I paid him a visit at the then CMB (Continental Merchant Bank) that should be the name I am not sure now, he was sure to give me something for transport and that thing for transport usually lasted me for at least a week, me, only God knows the kind of person I am, I could use the barest resource to achieve �miracles�. How did I come across Mr. Adeyemi? I was in my third year of secondary school at JOGS when on a certain Monday morning I saw this 'wheel-chaired' man piloting himself to Muyiwa Oyekan�s class, Oyekan was then in his first year at JOGS and I didn�t even know what made me like or single out Muyiwa Oyekan of all his peers that time anyway, we just clicked! So right from day one we became good friends and his siblings automatically became my friends, and his mother admired me so much and Sister �Dupe was just always too good to me. Then during the break time I asked Muyiwa Oyekan what the man was doing in the school, Muyiwa replied that he was one of the Youth Corpers. I said, what?! I was immediately impressed since I was always looking for inspiration, none in my family inspired me, I decided to be this man�s friend in order for me to garner the necessary encouragement I needed. So I made it a point of duty to always wheel him back to his room whenever I was less busy and I saw him and I also made it a point of duty to do his chores (I was used to doing that at home). So we became friends, good friends, but the only thing I did that really pained me was that one day he asked me to post a letter, I delayed in posting the letter, I was so broke when he gave me the money, I could not even afford to eat the day before, I used to refuse his food whenever he asked me to eat, I usually refused. Well, I posted that letter later within the month. It pained me a lot, I did not really tell him about it until later (some years later) when I went to greet him at the Continental Merchant Bank, when I told him, he said, it was even good that I did not post it earlier because they actually sent what he was requesting just when he gave it to me to be posted or something like that, I cannot actually remember well what he said. He actually helped me a lot esoterically, he was a Rosicrucian? I cannot remember very well, but he used to tell me tales on how I could use the esoteric principles of Rosicrucian to better my life, we even talked about the book �Mastery of Life� and we talked about so many other things. He made sure he ingrained in me to read my books well no matter what is happening to me so that I could get to the University for according to him once I entered the University I could be sure half of my problems is solved. He used to tell me tales how university students enjoyed, how they ate chicken, how they changed their bed sheets, how they collected bursary and the rest. Whenever I listened to him speak like that I usually felt very encouraged to even learn my books very hard. I enjoyed this man�s company a lot! Then the culmination of his effects on me happened when I was preparing for my JAMB and WAEC. I was on my bed in the dormitory one day (reading of course) when one of the junior boys, I think �cele boy� or who, brought me a letter from the school mail box. I immediately saw that it was a greeting card I thought who could send me a greeting card, Sola Lawal? Seyi Adams?, who or �Boda Bunmi�?. On opening the letter, five naira (a very fresh note, I used it to transport myself to my JAMB examination centre) just dropped on my chest just like that and when I looked inside, the sender was Mr. Adeyemi Alamu, I was very impressed! In the letter he wrote: �I wish you success in your coming examinations and I hope the success you achieve here will lead you to higher life pedestals� or something like that, I cannot really remember now. I felt very impressed. So when I was learning for my JAMB and I had �apollo� and fell very sick whenever I remembered Mr. Adeyemi Alamu I could not even listen to the junior boys (especially Tayo Balogun - from Imusin � he was the last of my school �sons�. He was a little boy then, and scared, very scared to see me such sick.) not even Tokunboh Omodehin�s could contain my stubbornness, they actually did not know how much determination I had in my spirit. Thank you Mr. Adeyemi Alamu. I will always be grateful to you.

  Then how can I ever forget Mr. Adebanjo (la so so, I think it was in Akeem Kuku and Fisayo Okusanya�s class that they gave this great teacher that name). Mr. Adebanjo was the only teacher who taught me throughout my stay at JOGS. This man taught me Literature in English in Class two, taught me Biology in Class 3 and 4 and taught me Chemistry in Class 5. It was a fact most of my teachers and peers knew that in my form 4 at JOGS I did not win a single prize. Then in form 5 the principal asked me to come to the hostel free of charge and I had the chance to read and learn without me worrying what to eat! Was it not Niyi Alatise who could not take it any longer that I wore a sandal for close to two sessions which at the beginning had no sole, you could imagine how I trode the ground carefully, he said: �Debo, you will have story to tell ooo, the way you are suffering, how can you a school prefect be coming to school with 'sole-less' sandal. Then he took me to his house, alas, all his sandals were too short for me. This also reminded me of John, when I was in my effective �final� year at Unilag who could not contain the fact that I wore bathroom slippers to class in my final year �effective� accounting class and decided to give me one of his tennis shoes. I refused to wear it telling him that I am satisfied with my slippers but then because of his good gesture, I will take it and keep it. It did not take �Dapo Sanyaolu( he was closest to me in my �effective final year accounting class� to also come to class with bathroom slippers on few occasions to �sympathise� with me and of course cover the �shame�.) Then at the same time Mr. Adebanjo lived on the school compound and whenever he saw me, he made it a point of duty to tell me: �Debo, how are the mighty falling� I did not get angry at him at all whenever he said that, he was actually encouraging me, but what pained me was the fact that he did not realize that I did not have the same resources as my other class mates who were doing well and it was even hard for me to get food to eat when I was in form 4 and of course, this was not even known to him but I was not even ready to tell anyone about myself or what was happening to me except Tokunboh who lived with me then who knew little and �Dare who later after we have finished school came to where I lived at Apebi and Tony Ejorh who I usually disturbed for food when we were at Ogun State University. So Mr. Adebanjo never relented in telling me whenever he saw me after school hours �Debo, how are the mighty falling�. And as if God was watching my footsteps, I usually met this man whenever I would be going to do private study for myself. Then one day I told Tokunboh, that this man was always telling me how are the mighty falling, did he tell you that too, Tokunboh replied in the negative and told me not to mind him. It was when Tokunboh told me he did not tell him such things that I really began respecting that man as a great teacher and I then put in more efforts and told myself that �thank God it is only �how are the mighty falling� and not �how the mighty fell� That I would show this man the stuff I was made of and I would make sure he respect me, that my �falling� was beyond my scope of a little teenager that I could not really contain. Yeah, I did so well in my final year at JOGS! What do you think when after delaying your results for so long and you still managed to make five distinctions and 3 credits (Anthony Ejorh must have been a very fine genius too) and with your illness still could get 60% of the total JAMB marks. It is a known fact that if WAEC delayed your results, more often than not, at least some of your marks had already been deducted and of course when you are terribly stricken with Malaria and �apollo� you could easily have done badly when you actually must have done so well. So, Mr. Adebanjo, thank you very much I am very grateful for your �negative encouragement� which I used positively I know you must have meant it to be positive but to a child�s heart, it could easily have passed for insults. Well, the mighty rose again!

  After my family�s nonsense and �Bunmi�s disappearance, everything just became bland to me, I decided to take life as it came and forgot whatever happened to �Bunmi� I could not really contain �Bunmi�s disappearance, it affected me so much that life became tasteless and monotonous. I started having nightmarish fits. I could remember one day when a lady asked me what happened to me in my sleep that I was disturbed � Yes, in those days we used to study in the lecture hall at Ago � Iwoye into the dead of nights and sometimes some of us who lived far from Ago � Iwoye slept in the lecture halls. So this Lady who was learning behind me said I was quoting the Bible in my dreams and considering the verses I was quoting, she believed whatever the war that was waging against me is won by me. I said thanks, of a truth, when I woke up I could not even remember any dream though I remembered something faintly but of a truth the fact that I was quoting Bible passages in my dream was another thing I found perturbing. Actually after �Bunmi�s disappearance everything became very distasteful the only thing keeping me on were my peers (they never knew this) according to me, since we started together, we must also finish together, and when my peers in class started commending my academic prowess, I more the less took it upon myself to make it tasteful. So all my dreams of joining this, joining that, being this, starting that and becoming this at the University just disappeared the way Bunmi disappeared, I lost interest in all, instead, I became closer to the Deeper life fellowship and to my books and one thing about me is that I am adulterous when it comes to books, I always want to have something to do with varying fields. So my peers started reminding me of what I told them when I was in secondary school and when I entered the university, waiting for me to join something so that they could also join, waiting for me to start something so they could join, alas, I lost interest. Everything became so bland! Whoever orchestrated �Bunmi�s disappearance must have done very well! He actually got me, really got me. Well, I have grown wiser now, you would never know where my weak points is again, I have hung what I treasured most somewhere where none of you could ever touch!

  We had our matriculation at the Ogun State University and just from the morning of the Matriculation ceremony my peers started vomiting and falling sick. I was appalled and of course in order to lighten their burdens started laughing and smiling at them and even boasting that I would not fall sick or vomit. From Ipaye to Dare to Tony everybody was just throwing up but I refused, I was strong, telling them I would never vomit that I was a strong breed, whenever I said that they would get annoyed and I would say it more so that they would put themselves together and be well. Well it happened that when the sun was going down at about 7p.m. with only �Dare Kuku with me on our way to his hostel on Igun Road I became sick for about 30 minutes and I vomited on the way. I was happy at least that it was only Dare Kuku who saw me vomited and the rest that I have made �jest� of were not present. Of course Dare Kuku broke the news to Anthony Ejorh when we got to their hostel. �N je o ri �Debo, he became sick when we were coming back, after boasting so much� and I could read Anthony�s eyes, he was, yeah, welcome to the club! But in the morning of the next day, almost everybody was well to continue the partying but some were sick into the new week. So in the morning when my immediate peers had recovered then �Dare said, yeah �Debo let us go to Oru to know where you stay. So Anthony Ejorh, Dare Kuku and Ipaye followed me to where we stayed at Oru. And in the same car we took to Oru there we met two guys: Olufolusho Olukunle Fafiolu and Anthony Adeyemi as we introduced each other I learnt they were a year ahead and were reading Accounting. I was very happy that at least I could get their notes and some private readings. Well, as God would have it when we were going back we took the same car together again. Since I am a sign reader and understand some symbolic meaning of things, I knew I have a message either for Folusho Fafiolu or Anthony Adeyemi. Well, I decided to investigate. I became close to them I decided to be going to them to teach me things and as I found out, those guys had nothing to teach me that time, I always met them playing cards or ludo! I said, my own friends, use their time to play ludo or cards? I was very annoyed then I asked them what result they made when they were in the secondary school and I poked them more and I found out that those guys don�t read! I said my own friends don�t read? You go and ask those who were my class mates it used to pain me when I see my �friends� lay about with all the resources they have. I would make sure I talked Jupiter into their heads, you ask my junior boys at JOGS, you dare pass very well, if not I would beat you! Ask, Omotayo Balogun � from Ijebu � Mushin � I would beat him even if he had 9/10.

  I always want everything around me to be above board, of exquisite genius and excellence. Because I used to think if with my little resources I was able to go on well in life should I surround myself with mediocrity? No, then if you are my �friend� as in we talk together or eat together, �woe� betide you if you don�t sit up with your education, I would make sure that I talked sense into your heads. Especially those few girls I �fell� in �love� with. You ask those that �fell� in �love� with me very early in life, I talked sense into their heads before boys came around them (Alas, it was only one person, and that person, I would not mention her or anything about her but we still stay in touch though she married and had kids now, nevertheless, she is still very grateful for my incessant �sense talk� and writings). So when I started going to Folusho fafiolu�s place at Liberty Hostel (or was that not the name). I started telling him that he is a genius and he must not allow his genius to waste, told him about a book called human machine, told him to read that book, that he would be able to expand his brain power, always encouraging him to read and discouraging him to play, all along, I was doing what I am used to doing, inspiring those close to me without me actually knowing it was going to help me later in life. I actually left Ogun State University after my second year there and lo and behold Folusho came to do Masters at Unilag. And of course I became his roommate at Mariere Hall (Baluba Kingdom) of course after �shooting� my bed space at Eni � Njoku Hall, God knows I needed the money. Sorry Prof. Jelili Omotola, I broke the school rule, oh!, look at you, many others too broke many others, to talk about assignments and other mercenaries things I did to survive? Who lured me into it anyway? And who asked me to do it for them. But that is past now, when you are growing up, you do something because of expediency, intelligence and wisdom and some you do because of experiment, the wise ones lived it 'over and out' and the foolish ones continued with it. That is life ooo. I will not write about those ones.(Actually with all the camaraderie at Baluba Kingdom, you would wise up fast! Do you want to know the kind of books they would introduce you to: from Jackie Colins, to Sidney Sheldon, to Harold Robbins to Robert Ludlum and to the Big Man: Mario Puzo, and since I was voracious, I devoured all: my favourite Mario Puzo�s quote is from his �Fools Die�: It�s an awful strain to be a crook but it helps you to accept society and forgive your fellow man, once that�s done, one needn�t really need to be a crook unless he really needs the money� I can quote that guy the way I quote Shakespeare or Wole Soyinka, you wake me up in the middle of the night I would give you five of the three of them. You may still be �Olundu� though you were at Unilag and at Mariere Hall for that matter, but you will never be �sugbe� you will wake up fast, if you don�t wake up, guys around you will wake you up and considering the fact that I have already been jilted by the church I had so much respect for, I joined guys and it was a nice experience but then as I�ve been taught by IFA, I kept my �omoluabi�. Hey, I�ve not mentioned that I finally studied IFA, the Yoruba Oracle, after being disappointed by everything around me, I was just wondering one day and I thought, I knew so many other religions, even read the Mahabrata�s Bahgad vita when I was still in secondary school and have dabbled into so many things from Oyesanya�s Christian Science to Hafiz Lawal�s Abdul Rushin Grail Message, studied so many other religions but not my own Yoruba religion, then I decided to study IFA, I just thought, what kind of a Yoruba guy am I anyway, I knew so many other things from many other religions but not my own Yoruba religion then I said: �olorun ma se mi ni omo ale Yoruba� I just looked for the Ifa Fraternity people on campus then joined them, you want to know my findings and what I think, it was an exciting experience and I will relate them when I get to that part of my story.) I survived it and you think I will write about it? NO! CAPITAL NO! YOU NEED TO SOLVE THE PROBLEMS IN THE SOCIETY FIRST! I will not write about those ones, but also, I knew some people tried setting me up, my own family oooo hmn! Man! I forgave all. So I became a squatter in his room at Mariere Hall (U222) that was the room number that time, perhaps they have change it now and that was the room where I had sex with a girl for the first time, she was an MBA student that time and felt she fell into the kind of girl I would like to have sex with for the first time. I used the money derived from �shooting� my bed space at Eni � Njoku Hall to cater for myself and of course, I still had to do menial jobs anyway for even the money was not enough for photocopies and that was the year I wrote my final year long essay. My days that time were terrible, terrifying and incredible better believe this.

  Only God knows the reason he gave us words to hide our thoughts. I have actually used words to get out people�s real intentions. I have done it several times but two situations actually made me know men�s minds. First, there was this Uncle of mine who thought me a good boy, gentle, easy going and simple (of course I was and I am. I am still a boy ooo, if you look at me, you will think I am twenty something, but you check my thoughts, you will actually know I have grown even older than my age, but then, thoughts don�t show up, except in writing and speaking sometimes and of course not everybody reads and people only hear they don�t listen). He was taken aback one day when I was in his house and he asked me what I thought about the football match Nigeria lost to Saudi Arabia, I replied: �They fucked it up� Hey he was shocked to hear such a gutter language from a gentle and good body (he forgot I was in Akoka, you find everything in Akoka, Oh! Mrs. Eperokun, DR. Adebisi Omotosho, JAMB, thank you for Akoka.) and he did not know I have been waiting patiently for him to talk to me and for me to set him up and get something from his very deep mind. I had actually said that to set up series of conversation that will point out some of the things going on in the family that I don't really agree with, as for the Yorubas, who dared sit his elders down to talk to them, they will say you disrespect them. But of course, he�s intelligent and of course he went away without engaging in any conversation with me. Well, later I went �insane� within two weeks of saying such a vulgar language. Was the 180 minutes insanity due to the bout of cerebral malaria I had, or the fact that prior to my coming to his house for weekend, I had starved for almost 2 days on campus with me only having a meal in two days to take my malaria tablets (well, you ask �Nature� or ask Mr. Felix, or Bro Tayo, they will tell you tales of my sufferings) or it was a result of the Eba I ate with Okro soup when I got to his office premise and immediately after the bout of Eba, within 5 minutes I supposed: I went �nots� and started talking nonsense � I beg your pardon, those words were not nonsense - whilst I was enduring bangs of headaches and my �cousins� making jest of me! Of course, they called a doctor who was introduced by Uncle Kunle, the same person with whom my brother disappeared and with whom my sister died with the foetus of her womb and he brought a doctor who diagnosed �acute psychosis� (Yee! Paripa!). My room mates and classmates shouted when I showed them, they were not even offering medicine and of course, when I got to the University of Lagos Health Centre some days later, the doctor there was surprised that what kind of doctor diagnosed this: Well the truth of the matter is: They must have done something terrible with me when I passed off and out after the lagartil injection. Why, when I got to the Deeper Life Crusade on campus (I was for a long time a deeper life student, I stopped going to deeper life or any church for that matter except for occasional attendance of crusade at the redeem camp after the Deeper life representative on campus refused to do something on my behalf concerning my HOD not registering for me, except that after he told me he had talked to him, he looked at me with pity and went his way, as if pity was action) I raised my hand up for prayers when certain prayer point was highlighted by the preaching pastor at the time and alas, I felt electric current running through and out of my body at the instant the specific prayer was said: I STILL RESPECT THE DEEPER LIFE CHURCH TILL DATE AND I AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR THEIR PART IN MAKING MY LIFE A SUCCESS but I am done with the church stuff, no more christians in the world, my submission; but I must commend where commendation is needed but as for me, I am done with regular church attendance, of course I will be attending occasionally.(Actually, I think � my opinion anyway, you don�t need to agree with me � I am one of the greatest unfolding success stories the world has ever known �readers, please wish me well and make the story hold, only your good thoughts is needed and be PATIENT�: was it not in the book of proverbs where I read one day: that the wise man surprised generations of established procedures and scaled the highest stronghold?). RIGHT FROM THE TIME I WAS A KID AND A TEENAGER WITH NO BRIDLE I WAS ABLE TO FACE MY STUDIES AND MENIAL LABOUR JUST BECAUSE I FOLLOWED THE PRECEPTS OF THE DEEPER LIFE CHRISTIAN MINISTRY AND WHEN THE DICE WAS CAST AND THE PEOPLE DECIDED TO WOUND ME SPIRITUALLY, DEEPER LIFE ALSO CAME AROUND AND SHOCKED ME WITH SPIRITUAL ELECRICITY TO CANCEL IT OUT � MUCHAS GRACIAS - Well, my cohorts of thinking school mates (I had one �advisory clique� that time at Unilag, not in groups but individually, I dared not bring them together, they would refuse to reason alone but danced to the rhythms of another�s thoughts), mentioned severally that of course, that uncle is intelligent and perhaps the bolus of eba I took or the water I drank contain something that made me talked everything that was in my head in order for me to answer all their �fear ridden� questions. I could not even finished the Eba and Okro soup for immediately I drank the water, the �naughtiness� started. But I sincerely think, that Uncle did not do it anyway, maybe his wife did it without letting him know and I think it should be something between the wife and Uncle Kunle, but since I don�t know, I think I should still take my �advisory clique� version, several heads better than one you may think. Though I would have thought it was the malaria, but even the scientist Ijebu professor would disregard that, so do I. Thinking I was actually a �bad boy� but I guessed he was proved wrong and perhaps regretted for using something to get words out of me. Later his son came to ask me if I remembered everything that happened to me, of course, I did not answer him, for I guessed they must have sent the �little� boy to ask me that question: yes, the answer is: I remembered everything I said, everything that happened not only that time but even up till now: I FORGAVE ALL. Until the smallish body, dark in complexion �medical practitioner� whom Tayo�s mother called Uncle Kunle to call, came to administer his lagartil dose, I knew everything that happened. Yes, I was still having bad �belle� for a lot of people that time, the only person I had actually forgiven that time was my mum but any other person who I thought had not measured up to expectation and responsibility or had hurt me one way or the other, I was not mirthful of. I actually forgave all even those who would hurt me in future and those who were hurting me then when my sister died with the foetus of her womb with no one to show me where she and the unborn baby was buried, that was the highest form of hate, hurt, humiliation and bitterness I could ever contain. I wept my heart out and then penned: PEACEFUL PRAYERS � that poem was actually written by �God� himself and not me, I was just an instrument, when people talk about being inspired to write something, I was actually inspired. There and then I developed a very thick skin, the deepest any human being could have and I left 9ja. Another instance happened when I was having my youth service I heard about a particular school principal who engaged in many immoral and corruption practices, of course I decided to investigate, and trust me we soon became �friends� and in one of our discourse one day I mentioned that �I can even buy them� that I don�t even know why they were proud and very arrogant just because their brothers and sisters, uncles and aunties had come to build big houses for them in their village. I was shocked when the man agreed! I said to myself so it is true, or is it true? You don�t even respect the future of your pupils. Well thank God, that was the last time we talked.

  Scars, have you ever thought about them? Yeah! I mean scars of healed wound. Hey, I am not talking about emotional scars, I mean real scars, relics of wounds that festered. Well, if you meet someone who has no scar on his legs, arm, foot or body, count him lucky indeed for he had people to look after him well. Well, if you meet someone who has few ones on his body he also had someone to tend his wounds count him lucky too. Nevertheless if you meet someone with a lot of scars on his body, hmn! He not only had people to look after him and tend his wounds but also it means he is very adventurous � beware such people can lead you astray or lead you into great and abundant life. Now, forget the one without any scar, he is not in our discuss, I mean this continued discuss. Could you please ask the one who has a scar how he came about them? If he�s able to tell you a lot about those scars, it means he�s very intelligent and has good memory � befriend him. If you ask another and he says oh! that one, I was told I fell over a broken bottle or what have you, hmn! That means he�s inquisitive and therefore a seeker of knowledge; but if he was not able to tell you about the harbinger of scars on his body especially those ones under clothing though from your perception of him, he seems intelligent, that means at least over 50% right, he did not really have anybody to take care of him when he was but a baby or no one to tell him about how he came about his scars � sympathise with him, but don�t pity him, such ones don�t deal in pity and will never appreciate that from you. Enough of scars, I have a lot of them all over my body; especially my legs and all of them I can remember very well what brought them on, they are my unwritten biography, they help in relating written ones. They help in remembrance, though they are not mnemonics. My scars look beautiful on my body, I wear them with pride; nevertheless there is this scar on my stomach! I didn�t know how I came about it and I don�t have anyone to tell me how I came about it, as much as I yearn to know how I came about it; whenever I think about it, I sigh!

  Stranger or readers, are you reading my book and weeping? Hmn! I don�t weep anymore, my tears have become frozen magma within my sockets. I had wept and tired of weeping. I had woken up in the middle of the night and wept. I had been aroused to tears in the afternoon in the middle of daily duties (I don�t sleep and work) I had woken up in the morning and tears had been my breakfast and the only food for the day, I had sat in 'Dugbe Dugbe', 'kabukabu' and 'molue' and burst into serious weeping, whilst others would hear the bell for close of school with joyful glee I had shed tears of uncertain pains and psychological agonies. I had walked on the streets and fought back tears as my psychological agonies became compounded by seemingly hopeless situations I saw around me. Now I don�t weep anymore, my tears are now �frozenly hot' magma within my sockets. Yet, dear readers, I did not give up, I refused to sit and let the battering of the opposing forces deter me from the pursuits of joy, fulfilment and happiness. Yes, my situations were pathetic, even more were they pathetic to me. Therefore dear readers be moved to positive actions in your daily duties, be moved to concrete achievements I know life may be battering you too in your own ways, whether little or large, my readers, dear readers, don�t give up! Let my story inspire you to concrete, constructive and positive achievement and please love life for life is sweet! �(Added October 21st 2008; 10:54p.m. GMT)

  Soccer, hmn, a game of wonderful excitement! I am usually surprised that my brother �Dapo did not like football at all when everyone of us did. I was usually surprised to find him uninterested whenever we did our �monkey� post and play �5 asides�. Well, soccer is the greatest drama I have ever come across even more interesting than the operas and the orchestras. Even before I could read a newspaper was the legend of Thunder Balogun on the lips of those who could not even kick football and those of us who never saw him played always at awe when the older generations talked about his exploits in football. Of course, on the international scale, they would also pay glowing encomium on Pele and Zagalo and in fact I never knew the word for overhead bicycle kick until I saw Kevin Keegan did one in those days to score a goal (I watched the match in Uncle Diran�s house) and I heard the commentator said bicycle kick, all along, we all had been calling it �zagalo�. Well, I would want anybody to hold on to his opinion, I never saw Pele play, although I watched some of his clips but from the perspective of my own generation and what soccer skills I have seen soccer players exhibit, I think, in my candid opinion, Diego Maradona is the greatest player of all time (you don�t need to agree with me, just my own observation) Maradona, played football in an age when defenders perfected the act of getting ball from anybody�s feet, in an age when football has been finessed and refined with many rules. Maradona played football like a gazelle with speed, stamina, accuracy of passes and exquisite poise. I am still searching for someone to beat that guy�s record in my books of standards. Thanks Maradona, you made me love football the more! It is a pity you don�t play anymore but the ones you have done would be told to generations yet unborn!

  I was but a child that was not remembered. There I was because of some people�s wrong decisions and judgments I was left to die, then a nurse came from nowhere and was surprised to find me such sick, they told me that they told her that they had used all the medicine and the herbs they knew but nothing worked and had actually left me to die and go (that was four months after my mother had been sacked by the family and the law, I was nine months old), she actually came to look for her mother who was a friend to my paternal grandmother, her mother was not at my grandmother�s but she immediately came back with five other nurses who according to the stories my uncles told me, worked on me and left a message that if this boy did not die before tomorrow, please take him to this hospital we were from there (I think an uncle mentioned Oworu hospital). And what happened when they got to Oworu Hospital, the hospital people fought with my family asking them why they kept me in the house without bringing me to the hospital and that those nurses were not from there? Where were they from? Another planet or were they angels? And with all the things I passed through (some evil people of this world will even tell me that I was being punished for what I did in my former life, some mildly wicked ones will tell me that I am being prepared for great tasks in life and some would even say it was because I came to the world with a great star that is why I was being disturbed not to exhibit it. To all I say, keep your nonsense to your heads and to the papers of your ignoble books of �wisdom�.) when I came of age and I thought about the ramifications of life and its essences and of course my life, I decided that I will take my journey with patience with whatever resource I have, I will stretch myself to the limit to develop my mind and learn (those guys called me �effico� in those days, they thought it was only Accounting I was studying, hmn, ever since I finished the whole introduction to financial accounting course outline in less than two weeks without even an access to a calculator, I had decided that I needed more challenges) and learn and see if with knowledge I can but help lighten the burden of my fellow being and perhaps the world. I will never rush through life, I will take learning (Hmn! I know a lot of people would drop their jaws and grow goose pimples if they should know what and what I brought on, and thank God for the internet, I just forgot about certificates, I decided to spend my money wisely (hard earned money for that matter oo) and continue to develop my mind and living and fighting the good fight of �faith�(?) no way, fighting the good fight of doubts and convictions for some doubts still remain and my convictions solid as anything about so many things in this world, not even their ancient holy books can remove them for some doubts are so opaque and some convictions very transparent. What some people don�t realize is that there are some �knowledge� we need to put on the museum of the mind, some things are not just useful again, just as we have junks of materials so also are junks of the abstracts and spirituals.

  I often wonder when people want to solve the problem of poverty by tackling the physical realities of poverty without actually taking the bull by the horn and solving the problems of man�s mind. I am sure some people know that it is the inherent and unbridled passions of men which if allowed to reign in uncontrollable measures result in victimization, harassment, nepotism, sadism, favoritism and the like. Tell those guys that once poverty is wiped out, they will not be able to get those girls and those boys they lure with ostentatiousness in order to indulge in sexual immorality with them, tell those guys that once poverty is wiped out they will not be able to see those who because of hunger, chronic financial distress, and homelessness succumb to the sexual advances of the �cashy deliquents�. Tell those guys that once poverty is wiped out that a lot of people would be able to live freely and become more assertive! Yes, I am sure that these ones realize this that is why they pay lip service to the eradication of poverty. Oh! Should I count how many number of people have �begged� and asked me to have sex with them (I am not talking about girls, no girl has ever asked me to have sex with her (at least not directly, African girls don�t ask you directly for sex but will do so many things both physical and �spiritual� for that to happen, you just need to be strong to overcome such; except that two or three girls asked me severally and in separate countries I have lived in to marry them, of course they are what you call �good� girls and I don�t think it was because of sex they asked me to marry them perhaps because of the good they see in me, I even admired their �courage� to do that for normally most African girls are in �chains� of customs and conventions, that is why I decided long after I read how Francisco d'Anconia in Atlas Shrugged �protected� himself to also protect myself, I actually did not know the import of the advice of the Ecclesiastes when it said: Be not over righteous and be not over wise why should you destroy yourself (those �experiments� in Unilag stem from the advice from that particular statements from Ecclesiastes) until I saw(when I read, I see!) the ramifications of acts of Francisco D�Anconia and I remembered that even Jesus the Christ cursed a fig tree, I decided that people should not actually be seeing too much good in you if not, a lot of things you don�t expect will start happening to you. And I thought, it is better sometimes to appear as if you are doing wrong without actually doing wrong in order for you to ward off advances), what do you expect those guys who asked me to indulge in such sexual immorality with them do, to see me succeed better than them? (if anything they may even go out of their ways to frustrate my efforts at succeeding). No way, so that I can expose them and tell people that sometimes ago, so and so even asked me to fuck his anus or allow him to fuck my anus. What do you think most of these seemingly difficulties you have in the society is there for, to frustrate some and make them fall into the trap set by age long useless ideologies and institutions of oppressions and of course perpetuate the vicious cycle of deceits, oppression and poverty!

  Even though I had had the inclination to do greatly, and positively too from the time I was in primary school ever since I came across Mr. Adeyemi Alamu, I had vowed in my mind not to allow my financial inadequacies to disturb me from my quest of acquiring knowledge. How can I ever forget Mr. Adeyemi Alamu anyway, the only youth corper I was ever closest to. Even though I was close to Mr. Otiko who taught me Government and some two others who taught me Economics and Biology, Mr. Adeyemi Alamu still remain the only youth corper who made the greatest impression on me. Mr. Adeyemi Alamu, I am saying thank you to you. Actually, in my reading �Successful Achievement� series I found at Mrs. Eperokun�s house, I also came across another great character in the person of Helen Keller, and from then onwards, I have resolved that, I would rather �stick� to it like nothing else!

  The baptism of lectures at the Ogun State University was performed by Achilike and Bewaji. I was just in class one day when I heard Achilike said we would have a marathon lectures the next day. Actually the highest number of class work I ever had up till my admission to the Ogun State University was not more than 3 hours. Then Achilike asked us to come on a certain Saturday and so we started from around 8a.m. and dear me we did not finish until 4 O�clock! Whao, I was not expecting that, but it happened. Bewaji and Achilike had to arrange extra classes to finish the explanation of Schema as it is used in Symbolic Logic.

  I could remember that due to my financial constraints I was not able to prepare well for the Logic exam and one way or the other I passed! I did not read for that exam, I was weeping in the car on the way to the examination hall, I had actually asked �Dare and Tony to wake me up, they told me they woke me up to learn but that I was too tired to rise up from the bed, I was very annoyed when I woke up at 7.00am., with nothing but class attendance in my head to do my Philosophy�s exam.

  In those days my inquisitive minds usually found me spying into Dare and Tony�s medical books. They were usually surprised that I liked going through their books sometimes. I was just too adulterous when it comes to knowledge.

  It is not that I didn�t like medicine; of course it is one of those fields of human endeavour I considered too altruistic to be in a capitalist economy system. Boda Bunmi actually argued with me to go and read medicine. He was of the opinion that I could just go to A levels and do chemistry and biology since I did well in both. When I complained that I had already done JAMB and I passed very well, he said wasn�t he the one who gave me the money for the JAMB (you see ooo, people could actually dictate to you because they facilitate something, not knowing the rigours and pains I went through to get the �high� marks he was proud of).

  My father came to visit me only once when I was at Oru. That was the only time he came to say hi he spent roughly 10 minutes talking to Mr. Odunuga or Adenuga, his friend, who accommodated me. He spent only one minute in my room.

  The second time he would come to say hi to me was when I clocked 21 or thereabout when he came to say Happy Birthday when I was at Unilag. Actually the only card I received on my 21st birthday was from my brother �Dapo. Perhaps Sola Lawal (the second one; I actually had three Sola Lawals in my life, one very early, another one just about the time I entered the university (she gave me a greetings card, she was closest to me that time. I immediately found of way of calling quit with her so that she would not be coming to disturb me and herself, how can I be in the same school and in the same department with someone who is my �prot�g� and I �love�. I want everybody I know to always feel free, explore and be independent. I don�t put my own birds in the cage: �I free them�. My mates used to be surprised when I gave them my own version of marriage. Am I strange?)

  �Love� or whatever you call it is not wicked but callous. Hell was let loose in my life that time, she completely misunderstood me, one of my problems is that most of those (male and female) I grew up with always find it very difficult understanding me no matter how I explained, it was years later that some of them see reasons. Well, I better not talk about these things for most of them are happily married now. And the last Sola Lawal, a male, whom together with we �single � handedly� arouse the whole orientation camp against the high handedness of the camp officials, to the extent that we carried all the Youth Corpers that time to the Governor�s office and the deplorable state of the camp was reversed. In order for them (those we revolted against) to do bad for me, they jettisoned me to Abiriba thinking that I would meet a �Waterloo�, without them knowing that they actually made me see �Churchill�. Oh! That reminds me, Abiriba is hilly! If your mind is positive, Abiriba would raise you. It did raise me.).

  I believe the only people that are sure about you (to a very large extent) are the witnesses around you in your formative years, those who knew you when you were growing up. No matter who ever comes after, no matter however those ones believe you or believe in you, the real people who can vouch for you are the primary people who read or are reading you, knew or are knowing you, interacted or are interacting with you. Even if you are a �difficult� personality like me, the people who live around you and who know you will still to a very high degree of perception, vouch for you, argue for you and even fight for you. You could ask yourself why Jesus Christ�s disciples all nearly died for him whilst immediately after the expiration of the last of those disciples, Christianity started enjoying period of little or no persecution. Invariably, the main message that Jesus Christ preached was also preached by these disciples for they were sure of what they believed and were partakers of the fellowship that Jesus the Christ offered and understood his teachings without polluting the message but propagated the message with pure explanation. For this reason were they almost killed inhumanly and after their demises the messages became polluted and compromised to satisfy the interest of the kings, emperors and rulers of those days. I am sure, the message attributed to Jesus Christ today, if taken critically contains only grains of the original message of Jesus the Christ.

  I remember a long time ago, when a �girlfriend� of mine, who happened to be the cousin of one of my JOGS mates came to complain to my room mates (I was then squatting with Fisayo Okusanya � one of my school �sons� � and a very useful one for that matter at the Eni � Njoku Hall), about me: she could not understand the kind of person I was� Since Fisayo Okusanya was younger than her, therefore, he could not talk to her, but Joe, who was older (Joe, a very interesting and amiable personality, you will never get tired of being in his presence, very amiable) talked �sense� to her head, but one thing I still remember vividly today is that Joe told her that you came all the way from Yabatech to complain about �Debo, your friend, telling us that you don�t understand him, when you live so far away from him, whilst we his room mates are also not able to decipher his personality, look, �Debo is sort of an enigma, the best thing for you to do is to stop trying to understand him if you want to understand him�. That settled it, that was the last time she tried to understand me, I intentionally left her name out because she is a family woman now.

  It was strange one day (of course to him: Adesegun Oyesanya, alone anyway) that I had not read Ernest Hemmingway or Fitzgerald. According to him they are fine writers and that I should endeavour to read them. Whenever we went to the library apart from the accounting books we would sign to borrow, Segun was sure also to borrow some of the American literature laureates and would enjoin me to also borrow. That was how I started my familiarization with American literature. The literature I had been hitherto introduced to was largely British and African. After reading the Great Gatsby, Moveable feast, For Whom the Bells Tolls, Seize the day, my appetite was whet for readings around the world, then I moved on to Classics: I read from Thackeray Makepeace, Balzac, Hawthorne, Aligheri and many others. In those days it was like a competition between me and Segun Oyesanya, on who was reading the highest number of classics. I am sure he relaxed when I left for the University of Lagos. Actually Segun had been largely influenced by his occasional visits to the United States and he made sure he co � opted me to his literary quest. Not only did he introduce me to �hard� literature but also �soft� ones. Bringing me books from the United States, books written by head of multinationals, I could remember he brought some books written by Lee Iacoca and one guy like that who left GM for Opel or something, I have actually forgotten, and many other writers. Since I had been reading �better yourself� books from my days at JOGS, reading those books just added to my interest in such things. I was not sure there was any book that had to do with achievement, motivation or pure literary genius that Segun did not purchase or borrow and as he brought them, he made sure I had taste of them. I remembered one day that he was very annoyed with me that I gave other people the books he lent me. When I asked him if he was selfish and did not want them to also know what �we� know, he answered me that only if those guys would read them. He said he was sure I read a lot that was why he gave me those books and that I should not just lend those guys who would add it to their shelves without going through them. And of a truth, one of our �brilliant� accounting students to whom I lent one of such books ended up not reading it for more than four weeks, it was after that I collected it from him and gave it back to Segun.

  Mr. Aje taught us Cost Accounting, Mr. Omotola taught Fiuancial Accounting, Dr. Oni (on sabbactical from the University of Lagos that time) taught us Introduction to Business Management, he later taught me, Business Policy in my final years at the University of Lagos, Messrs Bewaji and Achlike taught Philosophy, Dr. Jagun (Also, on sabbatical from the University of Lagos, he later became my very good friend right from Ogun State University; and when I got to the University of Lagos, our friendship became deeper and actually, he gave me my first opportunity in feasibility report writing, I will get to his influence on my life later in the story), who else can I remember ooo. Oh! Mr. Ayanjimi taught Mathematics, who else ooo, well, some will come later.

  When we were about to leave JOGS the prize given day came, I won many prizes again and as I�ve mentioned Olumide Olayinka confronted me to the fact that �I won his prize� and therefore he had disappointed his dad. I invariably let the matter rest when I found that they went around to �cheat� me out of the prize. My own is that as per achievement I have been recognized formally for it and as for the awarding of the prize, it is ceremonious. Segun Oyesanya buttressed this later when he was at Ogun State University and refused to attend the convocation even though he was supposed to deliver the Valedictory address. I was very lucky to realize very early in life the difference between success and achievement.

  The person who delivered the Valedictory address enjoined us to live our lives such that no one would despise our youth (I was like what about the bad people then I decided to make sure that only good people would not despise my youth as for the bad people around me, I would try as much as possible to make them realize the uselessness in being bad). Then the �Ewi� teacher read out his poem and I was shocked when he was praising my set and he singularly mentioned me that I should make sure that my gentle and omoluabi spirit does not leave me and also invariably told myself also that as for gentility, that may be jettisoned at times, but as for Omoluabi, I would ensure to maintain that. And I said, �so these teachers see everyone of us!� That was what happened also at the Ogun State University years later when I saw in my transfer form that Mr. Ewetade, the then HOD accounting wrote: �generally reserved and quiet�, I told Mrs. Eperokun that I was not expecting this, Mrs. Eperokun smiled and said, �so you people think we don�t see you?�

  I went back to staying at Apebi, and everybody dispersed from JOGS. Oluwadare Kuku came to visit me in the house one day and decided to prevail on his dad to allow me to live with them. I started invariably living with Dare Kuku�s family. I sort of have two homes but then I stayed more with Dare Kuku than with any other family I knew that time who always welcomed me to stay with them. Living with the Kuku�s was different, there was normally no clear cut criteria for responsibilities except that we always sometimes dished out work to our brothers and sisters. We had two sisters: �Kemi and �Joke, �Kemi was the youngest that time with �Dapo being a little bit older than Kemi. Since Mr. Segun Kuku was normally at work in Lagos, I and Dare were charged with keeping the home. The mother was always at the �store� from the morning till the evening and more or else all our siblings were generally of good behavior except that �karan� (Lanre Kuku) and Ladipo Kuku were sometimes troublesome. Ladipo Kuku later became one of my �students� at Yaba tech. In fact, he also bulged into my class one day looking for somebody whilst I was having lectures without him knowing I was the lecturer teaching his �colleagues�.

  I used the waiting time to read books, attend night vigils (those WAEC people really played �hide and seek� with my results) and worked on Mr. Segun Kuku�s poultry farm. I really enjoyed my stay at the Kuku�s. I ate eggs ooo, plenty eggs, I always dashed off to fry eggs upstairs. Adejoke was somebody who �liked� me somehow in that house, she always wanted to make sure I had eaten and always pretending so that nobody would accuse her of being partial. I think she later attended Our Lady of Apostles. She was also at Unilag? Akeem Kuku was the most gentle and easy going. Whilst I and Dare Kuku were always having �things� to do, Akeem Kuku may be in the �house� without actually going anywhere or talking to anybody. He was more generally reserved and quiet. Dapo hated cheating. He hated being rode upon and you could imagine the kind of commotion that usually arose when Lanre or Ladipo �bullied� him. We always came to his rescue anyway. Left to Lanre and Ladipo, they may invariably �bully� �Dapo anyhow. There was this Uncle of theirs who was interested in Politics right from his days at University of Ife (Obafemi Awolowo University). He was a lot like their father in appearance and he liked politics in those days I am not sure if he is still into politics. Then there is Ibrahim, I know little about him, his mother and siblings but they are also part of the larger Mr. Segun Kuku�s family. Mr. Segun Kuku had a Mercedes Benz car that was light metallic brown in colour which was always new. It was usually packed in the garage and rarely used except on special occasions. Of course, I shared Dare�s room, Ladipo, Lanre and Akeem slept downstairs with us, they had plenty rooms whilst the younger ones slept upstairs. Then there is Folahan Kuti (the last born of their maternal grandmum, he was born with �silver� spoon in his mouth as far as �Ijebu� and its environs is concerned. A very dynamic and loveable personality and a very handsome guy too. He had numerous admirers who are girls. He was always visiting his brother abroad. He was also at OSU? He also admired me the way Dare Kuku did. He usually complained that I went to Church too much. One thing I admired about Dare and Anthony Ejorh (those two brilliant boys lived just a stone throw away then), they dare not watch some films whenever I was around, they respected, really respected my Christian inclination then, even though �Dare may say that such and such film was okay for me to watch, whenever Anthony knew that I was around or was coming around, they would immediately put it off so that I would not see it, I really appreciated that in them and admired it, but I was sure they did not know that I knew this that time. Anthony Ejorh had three beautiful sisters: Victoria, Francisca, and Juliet (Juliet was very young in those days but we seemed to understand each other and operate almost on the same psychic wavelength, the only difference was that I was a Christian. I was sure, Anthony did not realize this) I think Victoria was more beautiful in those days than the rest, she taught me some Christian songs which I still remember till date. Then there was Henry (had inclination to genius like his brother Anthony), Francis and Charles. I was always interested in eating their mother�s version of Fufu and Vegetable soup. The delicacy of such a food �we� all were always eager to eat even when we got to Ogun State University. Whenever his parents came to pay him a visit, you would see boys passing around to say �hi� to Anthony in order to eat his special kind of Fufu that his mother brought.

  Have you ever wondered why it is that though there are claims that man had a past life time yet man is not able to remember such? The answer is not far fetched! Ask the Indians they have the answers!! How can goat remember its life time as a fish and how can man remember his lifetime as a pig? Perhaps those who did not remember their past life time were either animals whose consciousness is different from that of man in their previous lifetime or better still they played too much in the spirit realm before they finally made it to earth�s consciousness and born as a human being. Talking about shortcuts, the few spiritual researches I have done yielded with the findings that most of these shortcuts that people take to life (of course, a lot of people would have generally cheated if there were no invigilators, and some even do despite and in life the law is not enough an invigilator) are just covenants signed with spirits unknown. The little I have gleaned from some of the books from the other side especially �legend of the Jews� and perhaps the Mahabharata, and some little little ones not worth mentioning here and there is that, we all have 1000years to live! And afterwards comes judgements but before your 1000years elapsed, perhaps some souls must have tasted hell from those they signed covenants with. So it is the cycle of 1000years each in tastes of eternity that determines so many things that happen to man. And the shortcuts each of us use to life and the �sins� cut these down and if you don�t have Jesus the Christ, the rest would be spent coming in various clothings: whether animals or plants and even human beings, that is why Jesus the Christ had to sacrifice with His own life in order to create a place for you! Of course there are also other powerful entities who had built cities in the spiritual realm. Those Catholics were right ooo, as long as Jesus the Christ is concerned, it is pertinent for you to have him just before you died for the �operating system� that lies in your psyche just before you leave this world is what you will meet when you leave your body! The natural law is close to the spiritual law, �what you sow you will reap� there is no vacuum anywhere! I am not sure about hell but I sure know that those entities who helped you with shortcuts are the ones who created the �hell� to which they put you when you leave this world! That Nicodemus must have been a very wise man, he knew though he was Judaist, that what Jesus the Christ was preaching was something concrete and worth considering. Reader, listen, have you ever wondered why even �Satan� fought for the body of Moses? Hmn! I never knew why these �christians� snatched Jesus the Christ, He was for everybody not only Christians, so even if you are not Christians and I know you must have used a lot of shortcuts in life, be careful and give Jesus the Christ the same careful thoughts and consideration that Nicodemus gave Him. You can also do it in secret and not let the people in your religions know. For after all, it will be you and only you to give account! One of the reasons I refused to help myself Ijebu wise (apart from my stubborn and inquisitive attitude) was that ever since Taofick Adafejo made mentioned of the fact that I always leave when people were about to be punished was my mind inclined to think about the Yoruba phrase: �Bi elese ba nji ya, olododo a ba pin ni inu re�. Then it was later in life I came to realise that the more you don�t demand help from others, because you don�t know how they came about their resources, the more you will be free from suffering with the wicked when they are being punished! The olododo that shared in the punishment of the wicked had already aided, abated and even enjoyed the ill-gotten wealth and resources of the wicked! I was in Ajibode one day when an old man pointed out to me that the Bible even said that: �he who hates gifts loves life�. So man, be careful, question every gift you are given, it is better to stay happy with the little you have than collect the gift of the wicked and thus shared in their �punishments�. Apart from the fact that I embraced objectivism when I found it years on the internet after reading Atlas Shrugged, I had always tried to give something back from whoever gave me anything.

  Actually, I had wanted to use the Sixth and Seven books of Moses a long time ago, at an age when most people will never think of such things to a teenager. I was in what is now known as JSS 2 or JSS 3. (fathers if you know your child is inquisitive, you better pay attention to what he reads). I remember that Anthony Ejorh said jokingly in those days when we were in 4k that �hey �Debo, the way you are always wearing red like this, I hope you are not in anything fishy spiritually� I just realised that though I had become born again then, I was still sticking to the rudiments of those other spiritual books I had read, so I stopped wearing the red sweater!Well, no one knew anything about me anyway, but somehow, I was able to get the key to the sixth and seventh books of Moses, but not the actual book. I and Kayode who were interested in exploring and using the book to our advantage as we have read and heard from older people when they talked. I was ready to solve my numerous problems, become a superman and command legions of angels at will (childhood fantasies). So I asked my friends who are curious like me about how to get the sixth and seven books of Moses. Then Kayode came to me one day to tell me that he found someone who was ready to lend us the Sixth and Seventh books of Moses. Only on the condition that the two of us will always use it together and that not only him or me will use it. We were both not only ambitious but very determined in life. Of course, we both had our childhood problems, except that Kayode had his mother with him and of course his step father was never at home (Oh! Kayode, that nice guy, where is he now anyway? We lost touch with each other after about six months after that particular incident). So I and Kayode planned to go and meet the man who had the book. But on that same weekend, I was reading the Bible and I came around a particular place where I read that the angels had to fight the devil for the body of Moses, I was surprised, asked myself why? Then I started thinking about that particular thing that I read, then my mind went to conclude that perhaps God did not really send Moses, that he might have done what he did because of his personal ambitions and perhaps he was not an Israelites as he claimed, I really gave that thing a thorough thought (one of the things I used to do in those days and which I have somehow perfected now, is that considering the fact that my household chores were routines, you may see me actually washing a plate, sweeping the floor or washing the car, alas, I was not there, I might have taken on the wings of thoughts, soaring to uncharted course in my imaginations.). It was years later when I was at the University of Lagos and reading something about Sigmund Freud, that I found someone who supported my views about Moses. I actually did not read the particular book, but I found out that it was mentioned in passing in one of the things I read. You may want to ask me why I read Freud when I was reading Accounting, In those Unilag years, as much as it started from JOGS, I was still looking for myself, so many of my classmates in the University had caught me reading books from other fields different from Accounting and used to wonder what kind of person I was, alas, they never knew where I was coming from, I never told them anyway, even those who think they were close to me knew only an iota of me. Moreover, I remember when I first entered the University of Lagos library I was impressed by the volumes of books, the arrangements and the fact that it has air conditioners installed. I felt very proud and told myself that even though I came here to read Accounting I would avail myself of the various books in this library and would make sure I gained something from as many fields of human endeavour as much as possible. The librarians were every efficient in those days and of course effective too. They even worked 24 hours! Kudos to you guys in those days. Also, the fact that Mr. J. P. Lawrence our Auditing cum Taxation lecturer once told us one day that the Accountant must be universal that he must be conversant with as many fields as possible, made me to even have course to read things that are not necessarily in the Accounting domain. Though when I entered the University of Lagos, I was supposed to read Accounting on getting to the Unilag library one day, I saw the huge piles of books, I danced joyously inwardly and as I moved closer and skimmed round the shelves, I told myself that I would range almost every course on this campus! And I did even those not taught in the University. I had realized the fact of Chinese becoming relevant in the near future and I studied how to write Chinese characters on my own. That was in the late eighties and early 1990s. A lot of my Akoka friends were usually surprised how much I helped them in their assignments, they never knew that I ranged even their courses. I will soon start a course in Chinese Language, to refresh my memory and perhaps I will use it productively this time.

  So we actually talk about the atrocities that Hitler perpetuated against the Jews but we never talked about the atrocities that Moses perpetuated not only against the psyche of the Jews but also other races that Moses made the Jews to overrun? Hmn! The fact that someone is performing miracles does not mean the person is from God! Or God sends him! The problem was actually not the Jews, the problem was from Moses � Pharaoh � Egypt (what else do you expect from an ancient civilization that was reeled and mired in blood � pillage and fury). I for one, had been questioning any kind of miracle that I see around, most of them are replete with magic!! Well, weekend came I did not bother again to go to Kayode�s for the book, though he lived a stone throw from where I stayed at Ikangba Housing Estate, I could have used one of the excuses of going to fetch water or something like that to go to his house, but on this occasion I did not bother to go but on Monday morning considering the fact that I did not want him to talk too much about my not showing up, I gave him the key to the sixth and seventh books of Moses and told him I was not interested again. Actually, after my bouts of thoughts, I started thinking that perhaps the people who compiled the bible really know the truth what is why they did not include those two books or perhaps for other reasons. One thing people don�t realize about Genius is that not only do you have hardwork ( a very hard one for that matter) but also at its most sublime subconscious level lies sincerity which is not plain to the generality of the people, but very glaring to few minds. As for me, I will continue to admire the Jews not only for their Genius but also for their hardworking spirit. They are a blessing to mankind. Methinks the pyramids (in sense and in reality) were built by the forebears of the Jews for of course ziggurats preceded pyramids (well you don�t need to agree with me). And if not by the Jews, then by some people from other constellations and planets and I think if we are looking for the relics of such we should check those deserts, especially Gobi deserts we would be able to get something to lead us to when those deserts were oceans? For the magnetic fields of the earth must have deflected their aircrafts and sometimes they must have crash landed in certain places. �(Added December 11th 2008; 8:44p.m. GMT)

It was even from the time I was a primary school pupil I noticed that people like me are not predisposed to doing wrong. I could remember vividly that some of the time if I did something wrong I would come around to meet it. For example, I could spit on the rail and just go. Do you know what, I would come back unknowingly to use my hand to touch the same rail and the saliva or sputum I put there! That did not remove the fact that perhaps I did spit unknowingly and immediately I did that my spirit would tell me: go and look for something to clean it, of course, the many household chores and the distractions from the incessant calls from my stepmother might actually make me forget, nevertheless, I would still come back to use my hand to clean unknowingly the same sputum or saliva I put there. Though, I knew very early in life the satisfaction that comes from doing good things and making life bearable for another, lifting good things up and uphold things of positive virtues and usually striving to uphold such yet, sometimes I just felt lazy or despondent. However, I thanked provident that most of the time, I always strive to do such. And of course, some of the time, the good turn around to me.

There are a lot of cases to support this view of mine. There I was, whilst trying to cater for myself, I found myself teaching this girl in JSS2 or was it JSS1. I was at the University of Lagos, and of course, we had to be going to people�s homes to teach their kids and I found myself teaching a little girl that was not yet 15 then, she went by the name Imade (I will not mention her surname). I found that I was attracted to this girl, and of course I went back to tell guys that I was attracted to this girl I was teaching and of course, guys said, hey, are you stupid, that is your fringe benefit I should just talk to her and start doing things with her. I looked at them and shook my head, and I continued to teach her, but it became unbearable and I had to abandon teaching her, forgot about even collecting any money from them, for I could not contain the kind of body chemistry I used to feel whenever I was with her. But then, in order for her to know that I did not leave her just for leaving sake, I wrote a poem for her and left her.

Readers do you know what, I came across this girl later when I was doing part time lectureship at Yaba Tech! In those days, when they found that you are extremely hard working they give you so many responsibilities (men, I used to think I was hardworking until I came across Olubi at Yaba Tech, that man can work hard, I have never come across someone who can work hard like Olubi, and he would be smiling � a very wide one for that matter - and enjoying it, though I had friends there who were also hard working, I could conveniently tell you that Olubi surpassed everyone I had met who worked hard, of course he was not the only hardworking lecturer then at Yaba Tech, people like Napo � my friend and former room mate at Unilag, Mr. Ajinde, and of course the big man Akeju � I used to compare who worked harder whether it was Mr. Akeju or Mr. Olubi, but because Mr. Akeju was much more a superior and would delegate tasks to people sometimes and would of course had people to do his chores at home because he was married, I just felt that Olubi was the man, I really admired that guy in those days), one of such benefits and responsibilities is that for two days during the examination period, I had to be going up and down the whole school invigilating students (a kind of supervisor of invigilators). Well, there I was going up and down, checking ID cards with faces and the rest. When it comes to the issues of examination, I don�t random anything. I went to all the classes, checked every face, and I had to do this very quickly within the examination hours, come and see the way I ran around like a bee! There I was, I looked at the ID card of a lady sitting by the window, and I read Imade something something, I shouted very softly immediately: 'I know this name', and I looked at the face, the face had changed and that little girl had become a �lady� and I left. Of course, she was doing examination and I left her but I told one of the invigilators in that class to make sure he gets me her particulars.

Dear Readers, could you believe I never went after this girl afterwards. In fact I even found myself �toasting� this same girl in a �kabukabu� some two weeks after that particular incident without realising that she was IMADE! Actually, I had not asked the invigilator about the particulars I asked him to get for me, but funny enough, one day, I just came out of the Nigerdock Computer Room at Unilag and immediately I got out of the Engineering Faculty I saw this girl again, just like jamming her and I shouted again: Imade!. Well, she told me she came to see her uncle and I took her to Asaolu a lecturer friend of mine at Unilag, who actually introduced me to the computer and Microsoft visual basic (the way we people suffered with computer in those days, people used to be surprised how much computer and Microsoft I know, they did not know that I had no home that time and Nigerdock Computer Room was my home and I literally slept, drunk and ate computer and Visual Basic coupled with C++ for according to Asaolu we had to find computer solutions to engineering problems, in those days, writing codes wasn�t easy, you programmers are enjoying now oo, hmn! The way we suffered with Visual Basic 4 and C++ in those days? I have learnt my lesson now, as far as the computer is concerned, if I am not using any program productively, I would not learn it and I would wait for them to do all their updates and their versions before venturing to learn it), and I told Asaolu the story between Imade and me. I told her she could come to pay me a visit, for when I was not at Yaba Tech, she could always find me at the Nigerdock computer room. Meanwhile, she asked me about the time I was usually around at Nigerdock Computer room, asked me about the course I taught and then she told me about her room mate �Doyin, (I guess that is her name? and she read Graphic Design?) who used to come to their room to tell tales about a particular �very young� (I was approaching 30 that time, but because I looked very young people sometimes took me for a small boy) lecturer who used to come to class without a book and would teach everything from his head and that when they checked the books they would find everything I had said exactly the way they wrote them in books (girls go with gossips?), she told me that I was the person that they were talking about with her not knowing that she knew me! Reader, Imade made me realize later that she was the same person I was �toasting� inside the Kabukabu some two weeks after the first �re-encounter� and I said henhenh, she said yes and she took my mind to the clothes I was wearing and the time and I realized it was true, and I told myself, 'in fact I really liked this girl'. Well, do you know what readers, this girl brought back the poem I wrote for her some 7 years before this time! I was shocked that she kept it, and I told myself that I was right, that girl must have felt the same thing. Readers, from then on, she invariably became my �handbag�, she would come to visit me at the Nigerdock computer room, we would talk, play, we would go out to eat (we did everything a �girl� and a �boy� would do together but we kept the bounds of morals clean � she was a catholic - even though we passionately held each other sometimes). Then came the moment of truth: She said: �Jude, (she did not like calling me �Debo! If she didn't call me Adebosoye or Ade, she would call me Jude), �I have been coming here for sometime now, whenever I come, you usually give more attention to your work, I mean the computer than me, you have to tell me today, which one you will choose, you either choose me or the computer� I was perplexed by that statement and the answer it implies. I was caught in between, and I told myself, that this girl did not know my life at all, I felt If I chose her then, I was sure to get married before the age of forty, I could not tell her I was not ready to get married then, for of course If I had decided to get married then, Imade would have been my wife, I thought even though I love her, I would choose the computer so that she would go her way and would make her escape the �patience� that is my life (for which girl can wait for someone for years on end?)! So I chose computer, it was painful though, for the closest companionship I have ever had with any female folk that is of 'love', affection and desire for life � long companionship was with her, but then, I could not allow my dream to disturb someone�s else fulfilling her parents (she had very good parents, and in fact the mother even told me that one of my uncles used to be her friend when she was like us! Readers, are these coincidences? In fact, the person I did not really like at all out of those uncles of mine was the person who was her friend. Funny enough I shared some bodily features with this same �guy� (as far as I am concerned, he�s a guy), those Ogunade eyes, I can count about three of those uncles of mine and my 'dad' who shared my eyes, and in fact, I used to think I am not an Ogunade but whenever I remember those guys eyes, I used to feel dejected but of course I used to tell myself in those days, especially when I was at JOGS that I am not an Ogunade that of course, Gbuyi has my eyes, Omotayo Balogun has my eyes, Dare Kuku has my eyes. In fact, I am waiting for my mother to tell me that I am not an Ogunade, then I would be very happy and would not even bother changing my Nationality again!).

Readers, that was the last time Imade came to visit me. Later I saw her in a carnival that her church (Imade is a good example of a catholic) organized, I met her around Fadeyi area of Lagos. It was while I encountered Imade again that I was greeted with the news of my sister�s demise and of course, I decided to leave Nigeria and whilst on the plan, another girl came around who was like a friend of mine, something like an acquaintance, just a friend with no string attached even I remember having told Smith or Abijo that I like the girl, came around and since I like reading signs and symbols, I felt, perhaps she would be my wife! But then, the story of Imade has not ended, Imade is an Ishan lady, to be an Ishan you must have come from the eastern Bini (Benin) side. As I learnt from the perspective of History that I hold, the Binis are the rebellious siblings of the Yorubas and in fact the Ishans also are even the rebellious siblings of the Binis. But then, all the Ishan people I have met so far have had special likeness for me, they usually respect me, and don�t trouble me at all, and I used to think why? Even before I �re-encountered� Imade, I worked for an Ishan man at Ibadan, that man never owed me, my colleagues used to complain that he withheld their salaries, well, he paid me promptly instead, and in fact, I used to go to him to collect my money sometimes even before the month ended. It was when I met Imade again that my mind went to how the man dealt with me and I used to think, was it because of the positive influence on Imade that I created that made me to be in the Akashic good books of the collective psyches of the Ishans? Or there is something else involved that I didn�t know about? Life is such mystery sometimes no doubt

Talking about mysteries, I have encountered a lot of them, I remembered when I was doing the NYSC stuff at Abiriba, there was this girl that replied to my thought! I was shocked one day when I called her name and she looked in my direction I was shocked. I said what, I tried it again, yet she looked in my direction, I was surprised and I refused to tell her. I was like perhaps I was being set up spiritually (am I too cautious?)So I quickly believe to some certain extent that some people talk to one another through their thoughts. In Abiriba, I was also close to Charity, whose father Mazi Okafor told me so many things about the Ibo Man. It was from him I learnt the real reason why Ibos don't prostrate like we, the Yorubas do. According to him, they used to do that but it happened that some people started abusing it, making sure that whoever prostrate to them die before them, collect their good lucks (ori re?) and many other things he told me. My mind then went to what I used to hear or think about when I was just a growing kid at Ijebu - Ode, and the fact that there was this uncle of mine who used to complain to my father that whenever he came around I don't greet him, perhaps he thought I was doing it intentionally, perhaps I was not even there, I was somewhere in the pages of Wole Soyinka or Chinua Achebe or one other of such.

Actually, the Ibo man is the best that has ever happened upon the body polity called Nigeria. It is just that a lot of people are too biased and tribalistic to adduce to this fact. I am sure Chief Obafemi Awolow realized that and refused to let them go. If the Ibo man should leave Nigeria, then what is Nigeria. An average Ibo man (what am I saying ke, almost all of them) are deterministic and would not allow anyone to ride them anyhow, but we the Yorubas and our friends the Hausas (the three of us are about the major ethnic groupings in Nigeria) are just too much of Olundu. In fact if the average Yoruba man is an Olundu, hmn, then just raise that to the power of something from 2 to infinity that is how much an average Hausa man is. We just allow delinquents and corrupt people to not only mismanage our economy but also mismanage our lives by making us corrupt too. Or what would happen if a man had to be made to struggle for existence. It is a known fact that even the most pious person would result to crime if faced with strenuous existence. Ibo man, please don�t leave 9ja, please don�t secede again. I just wonder when these other people would be mature enough to give you the reign of power and if you get it, I am sure you�re going to turn that country around for good. I am sure the other oppressive people know this that is why they are refusing to hand over power to you anyway. More or less thanks for your various enterpreneurial and innovative products. I will always appreciate you. I don�t know why they started Nigeria�s democracy without an Ibo man at the helm anyway and not only at the helm but with most of them at key positions. In fact, the only countries that are practising democracy in West Africa anyway are Ghana and Mali, all others are just doing their own thing and not practising anything. Nigeria is not matured for democracy at the time it was introduced. Most people complain about their inability to hide their anger they never know or perhaps have read their psychology books amiss, for when someone expresses his emotions quickly, such person will not hold grudges against you and such a person would in fact be creative, I think that is one of the reasons they are very creative, I am sure a lot of my readers know what is Igbo made? You go to Nigeria you will see a lot of it. In fact, if you are looking for a good friend, choose an Igbo man, for such a person will not hide his feelings about you and if you hurt him he would show his anger and if you really seriously hurt him he would even brandish cutlass and promised hell but that is all about it, after the hullabaloo he would just be gentle and would not wait until your children become adults before punishing you or wait until several years to come to punish you for hurting him...(Added February 15, 2009; 4:44pm GMT)

  At the Ogun State University, there were lots of fun both outside the class and inside the class, the fun outside the class I refused to participate but the fun inside the class I duly availed myself of. It was like every class, an exciting experience and usually students amused themselves of the �isms�, ists, the cals, and the rest. Yes, we had two lecturers who taught us Pol 101, one of them became my very good friend, the other lived close to my �father�s� house at Ikangba, Honourable Okuwa he was called. There was this day I was in the class, due to my strenuous existence, I could not really concentrate and before 15 minutes into the class of 2 hours I was already �adrifted� into a little sleepy reverie and out of the blue I heard laughter erupt from my classmates, what was that I supposed, it jolted me back into reality, the cause of the eruption was the fact that someone out of the whole lot somewhere had made a �mistake� (I am sure he must have done it intentionally) of pronouncing tribalism, treebalism! Oh! I was grateful for such eruption, I would have missed the salient points of such a discussion and in order for me to thank the guy for waking me up as such, I repeated verbatim in class in my question to Honourable Okuwa, how the guy pronounced tribalism( I doubted if he did not report me to my dad afterward). Anyway, I asked Honourable Okuwa �Sir, but how can we solve this problem of treebalism�, the whole class erupted again! That was what he had just corrected! Yet, I made the same �mistake�, (Yeah, one of the quotations of one of those Nigeria�s presidents I have in my head goes thus: �It will amount to irresponsibility to repeat old mistakes which are correctable�, Yes, readers, strife not to make the same mistake twice, ok, if you are not sharp enough, don�t make it thrice, ok, I give you up to five times. Think about it, it is a wise saying. I don�t know who said that perhaps Abacha, perhaps, Babangida, but it is between the two of them, but then it is a very wise saying, don�t mind me, whenever I see something of virtue and true spirit, I put it in my head!) but then, I actually knew what I was doing, how can I say thank you to that guy (and of a truth, we, of course some of us, usually say something out of the ordinary to keep the class on its toes so that people can get interested in what they were learning, things that would definitely make the class erupt), well, Okuwa was like, �Debo, what did you say? I repeated my question and pronouncing tribalism exactly the way the guy had said it. He looked at me askance, thinking I would be afraid to say the wrong thing when it was the wrong thing that made me pay attention in class and not drifted away into sleepy reverie. Well, Okuwa knew me well, knew I was a good student, knew I was a JOGS (he was a JOGS too) so he intentionally wrote: �tribe� on the board and asked me to pronounce it, of course, that was not what the guy did not pronounce very well, so I pronounced tribe the way it should be pronounced, he was satisfied, he then wrote: tribalism on the board, I looked at the black board, I looked at the direction of the class where the guy who whose mispronunciation jolted me out of sleep was sitting, I told myself, I cannot disappoint this guy, then I pronounced tribalism as treebalism again, the whole class roared again (I said, that�s right, any other student still revering would have been jolted by now), Okuwa smiled, then wrote, tribe again, I pronounced it correctly again, then as if he knew I was �bawaing� the other guy, he continued the class but said that, joke aside, we should all take a look back into our pronunciation. I am sure he knew I did the treebalism deliberately, but I am sure he would be surprised I was not afraid of him! Well, I believe if anyone is part of what I belong, that person should really do very well, on a more serious note, I can�t bear to be in a class whilst my classmates are not doing well, I won�t like that. I always want whatever I am part of to be successful as am also successful. But then, I think I made a mistake about that when I was in Unilag, I could remember Olumide Bewaji warned me about it, but I refused, there was this guy called �Femi Ogunbanwo, I did not actually know him when he was at JOGS, he was never in the limelight at JOGS nor did he ever come into any spotlight, yet when he told me he was from JOGS when I met him at a JOGSOBA meeting at Unilag, I embraced him like a brother, he even told me he wanted to contest for the general secretary and told me that there was a JOGS in that position a previous year and he wanted to take the opportunity to continue there (he mentioned the guy as Kunle Idowu Ilori, this guy, I will always appreciate you Kunle Idowu Ilori, thanks for your help! You were a true JOGSOBA! UP JOGS, if not for that guy, only God knows what they would have done to my quest for learning! But then we will come to that story later on), so when �Femi Ogunbanwo told me about his ambition to contest for the general secretary of the Student Union Government (I don�t even know anyway, it seems the ghost of J.M.A. Ogunade was always following me, I always had a hand in the successive elections at Unilag when I was there, there is hardly anyone who became elected to any post at Unilag that did not have my rubber stamp of approval and of course assistance in terms of campaign and persuasion of students to vote for him). Being a JOGS member, I embraced him, I helped him, Olumide Bewaji warned me, and was even annoyed with me that why should I leave him to go and campaign for another person, I told Olumide that of course, you were going for finance and he was going for Gen Sec., I do both at the same time, that �Femi is a JOGS member and as such I should help him; but Olumide said, why should you do something for someone who is not helping you in any way, not giving you anything or assisting you in anything (I was Olumide�s room mate at Jaja Hall that time, we were usually doing things together, he was much like a figure of Boda Bunmi that time to me, and I really appreciated his presence in my life that time, I just regretted not having listened to him that time, as if he was a soothsayer or a magician, he told me his father was a reverend minister, but I bet perhaps the father was an herbalist or something for the manner that guy helped me one day when I was so sick that started vomiting and nearly collapsed, the manner with which he turned ordinary weed into medicine still surprised me till this day, and when I asked him what kind of leaf was that he brushed it off as one of those herbal medicine we don�t usually take cognizance of. Thanks Olumide, you are in my good book.) So, I campaigned for �Femi Ogunbanwo, even fasted and prayed that he would win, of course he won, and as God would have it, it was when he became the Gen Sec. of the S.U.G. of Unilag that I had the problem of refusal to sign my registration form by Dr. Omolehinwa, I was surprised, instead of �Femi Ogunbanwo to come to my aid, the way I went to his aid, he did not and instead he was making jest of me, I was shocked, I also went to Hafiz Lawal he was also blaming me, I was perplexed then I really knew that this guy never wished me well. Then I remembered Olumide Olayinka at JOGS and intentionally asked them their timetables (Hafiz Lawal and Femi Ogunbanwo)when they would finish their lectures and so on. I decided to be always at the table tennis spot whenever they would be returning from their lectures, so that they would think I used my time with table tennis, I was surprised when they bought it. I was alarmed! Me! �Debo Ogunade, who have had inclination to do wonderfully well in life when some people were using their resources to play �cashy� in the secondary school, then I thought about Sanya, one of our JOGS members and I wept and I thought, only God knows what they must have done to that guy. I thought I would never forgive �Femi Ogunbanwo, but then, when my sister died, I forgave everyone!

  Anyway, at JOGS we were taught Grammar, plenty of it, but we were never taught phonetics, no teacher taught us Oral English, but because I checked dictionary a lot, I knew how some words are pronounced. It was a strange thing to me one day to see that it was only JOGS that had the problem of Oral English, there was this girls� school that had Oral English in its curriculum I was surprised when I peeped into my childhood sweetheart�s subjects one day and I saw Oral English, I was shocked! I told Tokunboh that, look, they do Oral English at Our Lady but not here, Tokunboh replied that he had made the case to the principal already and that the reply he had was that we are not girls that it is only girls that should bother about good pronunciation and not us. Of course, when I left Nigeria, I realized that my pronounciation was awful, not only this, because I could write French I thought I knew French, but thank God for the opportunity of AIESEC in Abidjan, I could still be speaking �Nigeria�s French, all along I thought I knew how to speak French, but my sojourn at the Universite de Cocody under the auspices of AIESEC really made me know that I did not know how to speak French back then when I was in Nigeria, though my Spanish was good when I was in Nigeria, I could easily understand Ramon and Rev. Fr. Munoz when they spoke and I could rattle a lot of Spanish before I left the �shores� of Nigeria, nevertheless, my French was awful! But then my sojourn in Abidjan, made me realize that I did little of French pronounciation and I availed myself of the opportunity at the Universite de Cocody to improve my French. That was also what happened when I got to Ghana a year afterward, I was like, Hey these Ghanaian English is close to what I hear the British speak! So we are not even speaking Queen�s English in Nigeria! Actually, the fact that Yoruba words do not have the pronounciation of H in their phonetics compounded the case. Also, when I got to Ghana, I availed myself of the opportunity of improving my spoken English, I was surprised, though, to find the general grammatical construction in Ghana being not as standard as that that I had even before I left secondary school, nevertheless, I bowed for their spoken English and I strove to improve that aspect of my life. Thank God when I started learning Arabic, I was even more impelled to know how to pronounce my H.

  Dr. Adedokun Jagun, one of the most profoundly sincere, liberal, intelligent, and hard working friend and lecturer I have ever �enjoyed�! How did I meet this man? There I was walking from the Ibadan Station to my house at Ikangba to collect my weekly 15naira. Yes, when I got to the university, my father decided that ok, he would increase my 5 naira per week to 15 naira, when I heard that, I nearly wept in his presence, but then since I crossed the Rubicon, I had braced myself up for the Nile, I could not believe with all the begging and the calling all his brothers and sisters to talk to me that I would still be collecting 15 naira every week? My readers do you know what was 15 naira in those days, it was the transport money to and fro from Lagos to Ibadan (depending on the type of vehicle you took). That was what that man said he would give me, he said he had discussed with my step mother and that he felt that would just be enough for me that I should be coming to his house to collect it every weekend! Readers do you know what, before I even met Mrs. Eperokun, that 15naira had dwindled to whenever he liked! Whao! I was very annoyed, but then, I used to think, that what about those guys who sat about Uncle Soye�s sitting room at Ijebu �Ode advising me to take my father�s advice and give him another opportunity in sponsoring my education, couldn�t they do something? Couldn�t they ask their brother how much he had decided to spend for my weekly or monthly upkeep, couldn�t they tell me to list the things that I thought I would need to make my sail through the university smooth? I was very annoyed at them, or I thought, do they want me to come to plead with them, beg them or f**g me before helping me? Aren�t we cognates? I was perplexed and I was very annoyed with �Bunmi for deserting me (I actually thought �Bunmi travelled abroad! But I am sure now that that guy just disappeared, I don�t think he travelled anywhere, what they did with him, only God knows). So on my way along the highway, of course as for roads, Nigeria has a very beautiful network as far as the western part of Nigeria is concerned, even villages have tarred roads! You cannot say the same for the Eastern part of Nigeria, those roads were (I don�t know if they have done something concrete about the roads there now) not only deplorable but awfully appalling. And come and see the ways the drivers drove fast and at the same time avoiding potholes here and there! When I was leaving for Isiala Ngwa (where we had our orientation camp), in fact leaving for the East for the first time, I was praying, I was very alarmed the manner the drivers drove, seeing an oncoming vehicle and still overtaking the one in front of them, I was very alarmed and being an Ijebu boy, I was like �I didn�t tell anybody I was going for my youth service, so what kind of driving is this?� After, I lost two years at Unilag, I had developed the phobia of telling anyone any good thing I am doing to myself. And I looked at the face of commuters around me, calm, not minding the turmoil in my mind. I was perplexed, but then after the second commuting, I was also used to it! So there I was, walking along die Autobahn, a mini one you may say, where, instead of Gebaude und Fabriken, on Rechts und links you have Die Hauser and I think there is one hotel called Yisade on that same road, anyway, I passed by a man washing his car, a maroon/ox blood or was it red kind of Mazda 626? Well, I cannot really remember very well now, anyway, washing his car all by himself, I was actually surprised to find this man washing his car by himself, that was the first time I saw a Yoruba middle aged man washing a car, most of the time you find someone else washing their cars. And I had actually passed before it registered in my mind that wait oo, is that not the man who taught me Pol 101 on Wednesday? I was like he looked like him, yes, it is him, that was the car he drove, but why was he washing his car by himself, does not have a child, nor an unfortunate nephew or niece that could do that for him? (that was the example I had in my head, those guys would not leave you alone to fill your heads with books, they would always be sending you here and there without giving you anything for your work for them, no wonder I embraced Ayn Rand�s objectivism). And I thought, a lecturer, an intellectual, washing his car by himself, did not give the car to another person to wash for him, hmn, well let me continue on my way jooo. I better get home before that man who called himself my dad went out. That was the dialogue I had in my head but then another thing came into my mind: wasn�t that the example of a man I was looking for, someone who would lead by example? Then let me go to him to wash his car for him, haven�t I done such to those who did not warrant that before, he has at least impressed me, but then I had vowed not to be too close to my lecturers, but I thought, this guy may be different ooo, hmn! What if I become so much close to him that he would decide to give me marks when I have not done so much well to deserve such a mark? Ever since I had an unbelievable experience with my Indian Mathematics teacher at JOGS (Mr. Shammah) I had vowed not to be close to my teachers for them to know me and look at my face to give me marks. How did that happen anyway, there I was in my fourth year at JOGS, I had actually not gone to school for like one week, and I heard that they had a test in Mathematics and it was Variation and that I had to come to school to take my test, and I thought, that means I might not have money the next week because I had to go out of school alternate day or alternate week to work if not, I might not get money to eat or to wash my school uniform. So when I heard that they had a test in 4k, I quickly got to school that morning and was looking for someone to teach me variation, good enough, 4k had their test, remaining 4S (4G had theirs too I guess) so I had to sit with 4S students to take my test. But then? What is variation? So who would teach me variation? So I started asking guys to teach me variation, ok, Lekan Sansan and some other guys came around and they quickly taught me variation for about 7 to 10 minutes and I went to 4S to take my test, Mr. Shammah being someone who wasted time less, started marking the script in our presence, everybody was around to of course see what �Debo Ogunade would get (those guys were all always interested in my results, though I was only particular about Omodehin�s, Ejorh�s, Dare Kuku�s, and Balogun�s result, in my case; not only were those guys who I was particular about their results also particular about mine but invariably also everybody in 4k and 4G was always interested in what �Debo Ogunade would get! Ha!). Because I had not prepared enough, and I did not think that the 7 to 10 minutes they used to teach me variation was enough for me to get a good mark in the class test, but I was surprised, readers do you know what happened, I was standing over Mr. Shammah whiles he was marking and I was telling him in my mind, mark that, I got it, and thus he would mark it, mark that, he would mark it, as if I was commanding him in my mind to mark those things, at the end of the day I got 17 over 20, I was surprised! I said hehn! What was that that I just did? Am I a spiritual master or somebody that would command things with my thought? I could not believe it, but then Lekan Sansan said: �Debo, you really did not get 17 over 20 you could have got 14, that is what I got, I don�t know why that man marked that one right for you, I got the same answer as you got but he marked it wrong for me, I told myself inwardly, oo re nu e! are you the maths teacher? But then I started wondering, was I very good that I could be taught something for 7 minutes and yet do so well in it or was it because I was praying in my heart that that guy should mark and mark for me that was why he was marking? I was perplexed, I did not bother to look at what Lekan Sansan got nor was I ready to even scrutinize my script, I was more occupied with going back to town to go and look for my daily bread than being in the class. But then when I was going home I told myself that I should not do that again, I should not pray for what I am not worthy of, or do I want to be a mediocre like the rest of those elderly examples I see pervading my society? But then When Oyesanya told me that I usually thought myself inadequate, I felt later when I ruminated on what happened that day, was because I usually felt I was inadequate. Anyway, I went to the man washing his car, introduced myself, told him that he just taught me Pol 101 during the week and that my father lived just on the other side of Ikangba and I begged him to allow me to wash his car for him, I was surprised when he refused! I was even more impressed, what other elderly people would have gladly left for me to do for them, this man refused, trust me, I even struggled to collect the brush and the rag he was using, yet he refused, I said, whao, I met someone today! So, I told him I like him and that I would like to be his friend and that I would come back on my way from my father�s. He said, he�s also an Ijebu man, that he lived there that I was welcomed anytime. That was how I became Dr. Adedokun Jagun�s friend! We became very close, he took me to his mother, told me about how rich his father was, asked me if I grew up enough to know Jagun�s Transport, it was then I remembered that we (I and mama eleni) used to take one Bedford lorry to Ibadan from Ijebu � Ode, when I would be disputing and arguing with Mama Eleni that the trees were running, that Mama eleni would reply where they were running to, and thus would the argument continue until I would fall asleep, I never knew why the trees were �running� until I read about Einstein�s general relativity, perhaps that could be Jagun�s transport, I told him that I remember vividly about transport with Bedford, but I never knew they were for his dad. He invariably became my mentor, he was for two years at the Ogun State University and when I knew Mrs. Eperokun and I could not bear my strenuous situation again, I told her that I would only continue university education if I changed to Lagos, for in Lagos I would be exposed to so many menial jobs which would help me in my quest for learning and when Mrs. Eperokun agreed and decided to use her links there to get me transferred, I quickly went to Dr. Dokun Jagun to tell him I would be transferring to the University of Lagos, he was happy and I said that means I would see him there! This man really helped me intellectually, he even gave me my first opportunity in feasibility report writing, I could not believe that my feasibility report could get someone a loan of like 7,000 dollars that time, but then it did! I was surprised. I was just in my third year as an Accounting student, just 21 years old. Thank God for Dr. Jagun for such opportunity, but invariably at Lagos, I became Dr. Jagun�s right hand man, but then let us reserve that to when I get to the story of Akoka. A lot of people found me very intelligent, but I always found myself, very inadequate, Segun Oyesanya used to tell me that I was good enough for anything even more than good enough, he was usually surprised that I didn�t appreciate my intellect. Because of that, he brought me many books, serious minded books, including the Impostor Phenomenon, telling me that if I read that book, I would see the reasons why I thought I was inadequate, but then, it was not only IP that showed me why I thought I was inadequate, but also psychoanalysis showed me why. But the problem is, I always felt that whatever I did, I should do it very very well, that my foundation must be solid as an igneous rock!

  But then I used to, sometimes, wonder what kind of a father I would be to my children whenever I finally decide to settle down with somebody and start bearing children. I hope I would not demand too much from them. Well, my frame is nothing to write home about, I was told I was born on the 5th of May, 1968, but I sure know that when I was 25 people said I was lying that I was 18, when I was 30, people said I was 21, and when I was 40 people still told me I looked 25? No wonder I left myself unshaven sometimes, I was surprised one day when someone said if I sat in class with my face and head shaven I could have easily passed for a school boy! Na wahoo, who is lying? My parents, my epoch, or nature? There is definitely something wrong somewhere, it is either I am one of the true examples of the nature of truth or I have found the secret of eternal youth? Have I? (Added May 5, 2009; 11:22AM GMT)

Yeah! The first test I had was in Pol 101. Dr. Jagun came to class and discussed politics, discussed political science, told us so many things and of course we started using the recommended books. Then he came to class one day to tell us that we would be having a test. Of course, because I wanted to impress him, I studied very hard, for that test/assignment (it was like a test/assignment stuff) so the topic: "POLITICS IS UBIQUITOUS - DISCUSS". Only one person got 17 / 25, almost everybody got below 10! I was among those who got below 10! I scored 9/25. I was nonplussed. The answer was simple, I had wanted to do exactly the way I knew the assignment must be done, but because I saw my mates carrying Harold Laski's, Appadorai and the rest and I also went to the library and wrote what those guys were writing. That was my first lesson in giving back to the lecturer what the lecturer taught and not going into other books to do research, though I did a lot of research on my own but I learnt a lesson from that situation and I had always used my own interpretation to whatever I read even if it is from the Bible. You see oo, I still got an A afterwards. Actually I can't remember any test I did that time that I did well, perhaps a Cost Accounting test that I had in the second year at OSU(Now Olabisi Onabanjo University), for most times,I was busy looking for something for my upkeep rather than paying attention in class, and invariably almost in all cases I always passed the main examinations very well, for then I would have time to read even though most of my exams were also written with empty stomach! Well, trust me one of the books I read critically again was the Bible and I came to the conclusion that there was never a black man at the Beginning, I mean the real beginning, it was something cataclysmic that made our skin 'black' read the Genesis account very well, you may not agree with me anyway but think about it, can you change black to white? NO! But you can always change white to black! Anyway, those who said: Let us make 'MAN' in our image, already had a blueprint of something called 'man' for if I am to go by existentialism where existence precedes essence then one would really see that there was man before and that man who was before failed! For in the beginning God created heavens and earth! 'Now' the earth was without form,(that presupposed the fact that there was an earth that had a form) and the only remnant of that earth was water and darkness after they must have used their advanced civilisation that time to their destruction and to the extent that there were dangerous radioactive substances that turned our skin black. After all, other things that were created, were created before they were given names! Because there was water and there was darkness before God created another earth. Come to think of it, do you know that if you burn hair, it turns kinky? Afterall the Aborigines of Australia have long straight hair like the white man's! In my own opinion anyway, I believe, strongly believe there was a far advanced civilisation before another earth was created with Man who was not completely done well and needs a help meet and of course I used to think (still do think) that the first man of the main and original earth must have been hermaphrodite. Don't mind me, "The snake that cannot cast its skin perishes, so it is with those minds that are prevented from changing their views, they cease to be minds" - Friedrich Nietzsche. Actually, I did not even know what was existentialism that time, it was when Dr. Jagun realised that I think along the lines of Descartes and Nietzsche that he introduced me to Jean Paul Satre. I had already romanced some of those philosphers before I even left JOGS, I had dined with Russell, Whitehead, Descartes, Bacon, Hobbes and few others before I left secondary school. Readers, have you asked yourself why Black people give birth to white(Albino) and yet I have never heard of any white giving birth to black!

We have been left precarious a long time ago by the so called people of past eons who had done a lot to create chaos and confusion and left us to take care of ourselves amidst distrust and fear! Do you know that the only available means of survival in this world now is compromise and corruption? And if you are not corrupt, the corrupt person will be afraid of you and invariably becomes your enemy, if you are not bisexual, the bisexual person will not consider your case even though the laid down procedures require him to do so, in as much as he would think he had compromised something important for him to be where he is. Therefore, wrongs can go on uncorrected because the wrongdoer is in the 'good book' of the people in goverment. Talkless of the fact that the person or persons must have done many favours for so many people who are also in position of 'power'. This world na waah ooo. Existence is just too precarious! Thank God for Jesus the Christ! And instead of us to look into the system that leads to wrong, we punish wrong doers instead and in fact mercilessly sometimes, the problem is not about not punishing wrong doers or evil doers, but the main thing is correcting the system that allowed it in the first instance! And anyone who openly declare his bisexualism is ridiculed even by those who are bisexual themselves! Na wahooo! Stop ridiculing anyone on their sexual orientation, are they not human beings, try to understand them and let them be rehabilitated if need be. But for homosexualism! Hmn! Na waoo, I should not tell you my spiritual research on it (Thank God for Jesus The Christ). But then first things first, remember, the other person is also a human being like you, with feelings, needs, passion and emotion and if you go about doing anything against anyone, remember, that person is not a non - living thing! In as much I believe in anyone's choice style of living, that person must not use his own style of living to injure another person whether psychologically or physically, after all it is only the soul that leaves! (Added May 9, 2009 22:22pm GMT)

Well, from my little spiritual research, I found that the soul of a chronic and unredeemable homosexual personality has noting to report, no information to give back as to make the body he took on earth useful to produce a better personality, perhaps that is what the Bible meant by �all homosexual shall have their part in the lake of fire�, the bisexual is at least useful, but the best are those ones who keep strictly to the rules of nature, they are the ones that will produce the archetypes in their next incarnation and through them would the race of supermen be possible on earth. But mind you, there are other dimensions that are striving hard so that man would not be able to achieve this so they machinate so many wiles, these other dimensions are varied, though there are dimensions who are not interested in man being a superman, there are also other dimensions who are also interested in seeing the race of supermen on earth, so it is kind of a competition (I will not call it a battle) but a kind of competition among them. Or, where do you think magic comes from, from beings whose workings are wrought at a speed that ordinary human eyes cannot perceive, and the more you look, the more your perception becomes dimmer.

Come to my own question, what is my sexual orientation, in fact, I am still amazed at myself, even though I am a �touch and go� kind of a personality, yet, I am very strict sexually, well, as far as my memory can serve me (I don�t know what anyone might have done to me before I became fully aware of my environment, since I had no mother to watch over me, hmn! Even those who have their mothers around them are still abused talk less of whom whose mother was sacked. Or, I don�t know what anybody must have done with me or have me do, but with those who created the soul, as long as consent is not there, it doesn�t count with them, it may count with men, but not with God.) I have never been in any sexual relationship with any man! Though I don�t believe that any sexual relation is wrong, yet I believe my strength and my time are very important to me. Considering the fact that my resources were few and are still few (I don�t have, never had anyone giving me anything worthwhile, I found out that whatever anyone gives me, I would have even given another person such, though the highest I have ever received from anyone was like one hundred dollars, thank God I have made far more for myself, even though I have not even start working or making money, sometimes I used to think that when I decide to finally start making money, people would not know how much I had suffered to make it, and of course, they would start a lot of fairy tales about how I became successful, God help me oooo!

When I was growing up, I had decided in my mind that my brain (mind, heart, head), my time and my strength are the only resources that I have and that I would use them judiciously and though I may be lured by whatever to lose cognizance of this fact, I would always pay attention to how I expend these. Thank God I came in contact with the Deeper Life Christian Ministry that time, my level of discipline just increased. I could remember a girl once asked me why I don�t jump up and down like other guys, why I don�t chase girls, I told her that only if I am going to use another person�s time and strength to do that then, perhaps, I would. And when I had my first taste of sex and subsequently, I had realised that people like me can only have sexual relations with only a selected set of female folks and I had been careful with my choice of girls, not that I am a celibate, of course, after my first sexual experience, I have had some others but then I don�t sleep with them, I only have sex with them and let them go, in fact, I still can�t bear to see another person wake up beside me on my own bed. Hey, mind you, I have visited a couple of female folks and of course I had to share their beds with them, yet, when it comes to my own place, as in where I stayed I rarely except on one or two occasions, once there was a heavy rain so I had to let her sleep over and the other � I have actually forgotten what happened, I am not ready to recall that right now, well, I don�t allow anyone to share my bed, my bed is usually small anyway and in fact, I had no home for a long time it was even recently that I thought my �vagabondism� must stop since my schedule for marriage is getting close, that I decided to have a kind of a place I can lay my head. For I used to think that I should not deceive myself, if it is true I am interested in acquiring knowledge and at the same time I am interested in not having a child out of wedlock, I should then not have a place where anyone would visit me. And thank God for the Internet! Ha! White Man, thank you ooooo. I was just learning and learning and of course sleeping in cafes, libraries, reading rooms, students� rooms, hotels, guest houses, hostels, anywhere, as far as I was learning I didn�t mind as far as I could acquire something worthwhile for I have a lot of questions I have not yet found answers to. That is why I don�t have a girl friend!(what am I saying ke, Knowledge is my girlfriend!). That is not to say that I did some experiments with women, yet, I never had sex with anyone of them, (who would begrudge me that anyway, only if that person want to curse himself, for my circumstances clearly indicate that I am one of the few clearly qualified to explore that for the benefit of others) of course, I can conveniently say that I had never had anything to do sexually with any married woman, (my strength is very important, I cannot waste my energy or give my strength to another), yet, I have scrutinised every aspect of a woman�s emotion. For one of the reasons I read in my father�s correspondences was the fact that he accused my mother of adultery since I would also become a husband one day, I had decided a long time ago, that before I get married, I would explore and see the reasons, if it is true, adultery is possible, and what did I find, it is very possible, whether my mother committed adultery or not, I don�t know I was not aware enough to have known such a thing, but for you to ask a woman not to have a compassion over a suckling child is a crime not only against the woman and the child but against humanity. Funny enough, do you know how I came about those correspondences, readers, do you guys know about the film �Harry Potter� I mean the very first one, how Harry was dealt with by the people he was living with, how he was left to sleep under the staircase, yes, that was exactly where I was asked to sleep(but this time not directly under the staircase) and very close to the box, and inside that box I used to read so many things, (In fact, there are incantations on how to have sex with a woman without the use of money or force, can you imagine, the same people who accused my mother of adultery!)of course, the box was close to the balcony, so I was usually having cold, my childhood friends still do ask me if I still sneeze! I eat garlic a lot now. Unlike Harry Potter, I would also have become a kind of African version of a wizard for in that box are some incantations, some formula for medicine, herbal and so forth (even for egbe - african version of invisibility or spontaneous disappearance), but because before I left Apebi, Mama Eleni had warned one of our cousins who wanted to use those that even Baba Apebi himself knew that those things were not useful again, that Jesus has power of all that I refused to used them, and thank God I listened to that advice even though she was gone before I noticed and was tempted to used them and of course she mentioned that the herbal ones may be useful though.

So man, a woman may be faithful to you, if she wants to, especially before she gives birth to her first child, and afterwards, forget, it, sex is nothing to her again! So clearly, as you are predisposed to adultery, so also is your woman! Ok, you are the jealous type, you want your woman to be only for you, then give her as many children as possible, or keep her busy doing things, find things for her to do then perhaps you can be sure she will be at least faithful to you! Anyway, man, do you know it is wrong for you to accuse your woman of adultery! Yes, it is even more wrong for you to divorce her or set her packing (I think jealousy is not love, but a very indication of immaturity and lack of knowledge � this is my own opinion anyway, you don�t need to agree with me). What we humans don�t know is that spiritually speaking, there is no demarcation between a woman and a man, though women are telepathically and psychically sharper, but the truth is, with God all is one! So, how many of you if a girl, say a lady meets in private (I had realised a long time ago that I would never be in a closet with a woman, most of my experiments were wrought in a semi � private environments, even though I am sure of my personality, yet I did not give room for any unforeseen event), and start caressing would ask the woman to stop? Do you men know that you were not brought up to say NO to women, even though women are brought up to say NO to men (only those who are not ready to splash cash, men in fact, a woman would tell you of another�s advances only if that person is not as rich or richer, or comfortable as you or as handsome or , or out of ten case of advances she may tell you two or three, so if anyone tells you anything about any advance from anyone whether such advances is real or complimentary take it with a pinch, for I have seen women who hide or even remove the rings in their hands when a another man shows up. Do rings even matter now?). Then, if you (Man) are guilty already of adultery, how dare you say that someone else committed adultery? It is better for now for women to also start training their boys to say no to girls. I said no to girls because my resources were few and I love books, perhaps if I have had a mother around me with pampering and the rest I wouldn�t have been able to say NO! But then, I am not saying sex is wrong! Beware one of the wiles of those other �guys� in other dimensions was to brainwashed you that sex is wrong so that they can use that against you then will it possible for their craft to affect you negatively or positively. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU DEWUNMI,(WHERE EVER YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU MAY BE) DON'T WORRRY I HAD DRIED MY TEARS A LONG TIME AGO (Added May20, 2009 9:32am GMT)