LOT'S
WIFE
The Sunday
School teacher was describing how Lot's wife
looked back and turned into a pillar of salt,
when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy
looked back once while she was driving,' he
announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into
a telephone pole!'
GOOD
SAMARITAN
A Sunday
school teacher was telling her class the
story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the
class, 'If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what
would you do?' A thoughtful little girl broke
the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'
DID NOAH
FISH?
A Sunday
school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think
Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the
Ark ?' 'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he,
with just two worms.'
HIGHER
POWER
A Sunday
school teacher said to her children, 'We have
been learning how powerful kings and queens
were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher
Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?' One
child blurted out, 'Aces!'
MOSES AND
THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old
Joey was asked by his mother what he had
learned in Sunday School. 'Well, Mom, our
teacher told us how God sent Moses behind
enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the
Israelites out of Egypt . When he got to the
Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon
bridge and all the people walked across
safely. Then he radioed headquarters for
reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up
the bridge and all the Israelites were
saved.' 'Now, Joey, is that really what your
teacher taught you?' his mother asked 'Well,
no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the
teacher did, you'd never believe it!'
THE LORD
IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday
School teacher decided to have her young
class memorize one of the most quoted
passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave
the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but
he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After
much practice, he could barely get past the
first line. On the day that the kids were
scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it
was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone
and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd,
and that's all I need to know.'
UNANSWERED
PRAYER
The
preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that
her father always paused and bowed his head
for a moment before starting his sermon. One
day, she asked him why. 'Well, Honey,' he
began, proud that his daughter was so
observant of his messages.' I'm asking the
Lord to help me preach a good sermon.' 'How
come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.
BEING
THANKFUL
A Rabbi
said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 'So
your mother says your prayers for you each
night? That's very commendable. What does she
say?' The little boy replied, 'Thank God he's
in bed!'
UNTIMELY
ANSWERED PRAYER
During the
minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a
loud whistle from one of the back pews.
Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him
into silence and, after church, asked,
'Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?'
Tommy answered, soberly, 'I asked God to
teach me to whistle, and He did!'
TIME TO
PRAY
A pastor
asked a little boy if he said his prayers
every night. 'Yes, sir,' the boy replied.
'And, do you always say them in the morning,
too?' the pastor asked. 'No sir,' the boy
replied. 'I am not scared in the daytime.'
ALL MEN /
ALL GIRLS
When my
daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers,
she would bless every family member, every
friend, and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the
nightly prayer, Kelli would say, 'And all
girls.' This soon became part of her nightly
routine, to include this closing. My
curiosity got the best of me and I asked her,
'Kelli, why do you always add the part about
all girls?' Her response, 'Because everybody
always finish their prayers by saying 'All
Men'!'
SAY A
PRAYER
Little
Johnny and his family were having Sunday
dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone
was seated around the table as the food was
being served. When Little Johnny received his
plate, he started eating right away. 'Johnny!
Please wait until we say our prayer.' said
his mother. 'I don't need to,' the boy
replied. 'Of course, you do,' his mother
insisted. 'We always say a prayer before
eating at our house.' 'That's at our house,'
Johnny explained. 'But this is Grandma's
house and she knows how to cook!
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