Jennifer Aniston (Friends)- "Who?"

Olsen twins (So Little Time)- "He thought he was funny-he kept asking us if we were related, but he was nice once our armed security had a little "talk" with him."

Anonymous- "I find Chris to be witty, charming, handsome, funny, intelligent, warm, and generous."

Chris on...

...Acting- "know where the camera is at all times...they get really pissed if you keep knocking into it."

...Improv- "let me think about that and get back to you."

...Drama- "Being able to cry=good acting...so I try to practice crying at least once an hour, it's easy, I just think about my life."

Chris' Birthday Party Invites

Age 33
Greetings My Flock, Come celebrate the coming of my "Jesus" year. Yes, Jesus was also 33 when it all went down...then up...then down...then up-for a really long time. Well, I can't promise you eternal salvation (I'm working on it though, so be patient-it's a virtue) but I do promise a merry time. Not a Mary time, as she was a virgin and I don't know many of those...but if you do, please invite them. Go "in peace" to the Bitter Redhead, Friday, Oct. 8. Use Mapquest to find your way, or follow the bright star if you're wise men. Note #2: I don't know many wise men either...wisea$#'s yes.

The Good Shepherd

PS-Other than Frankincense, Gold, and Myrrh, no presents.

Age 32
N.A. - You will have to send your birthday wishes north this year-Vancouver, Canada to be exact. I received something I'd never been given before, courtesy of the Canadian police: a breathalyzer. They pulled me over for driving erratically, eh? I informed the officer that I'd only drank one crappy Canadian beer that evening. He asked me to step out of the car. I failed one portion of the test, as I couldn't sing the Canadian National Anthem. (I told the officer it was silly they even had one.) Fortunately, I barely even registered on the breathalyzer, meaning I had plenty of room given the BAC limit is .20 in Canada (well, if it isn't, it should be). I've now spent officially half my life driving and I've learned to drive crappy without the crutch of too much alcohol!

Happy Birthday to me! USA! USA! USA!

Age 31
Hello friends, confidantes, Romans; please plan on attending the anniversary of my birth this Friday, Oct.11, at 8PM at Renee's-5th and Wilshire in Santa Monica, CA. I may do a live re-enactment of the birth pending on my mother's interest in flying out to do so. This is unlikely, since she didn't really want to do it the first time. I may ask for volunteers to take her place, so bring a towel. The rest of you observing the event will be pretty accurately playing the role of my father...drinks in hand and exuding mild indifference.

Consider your presence your gift. Bring anyone you deem appropriate and/or attractive. Looking forward to seeing you.