v2.4v2.4
FIRST TIME HERE?
PokéBattles (yes, with the 'é' thingy) is a unique type of Pokémon
fan fiction in which a single author can write his or her own battle. This is
usually done with a comedic twist, using this unique medium to poke fun at the
game, and more likely, real life and what is occurring within it! Tons of
gaming humour for sure!. Still don't get it? That's okay--click here to go to
RED VERSION (Saga One): Battle #1.
After reading a battle or two, you'll understand what
this is all about.
Currently ranked #14: Woo?
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*** Update (05/05/2004): Updated with battle #35
Battle #35: Did You Know That Was There? May 05, 2004Player: Cloaked Figure
CLOAKED FIGURE used RANSACK! Go away, you loud booming voice, I'm busy! NARRATOR doesn't see where THIS is GOING! This is going to ME! CLOAKED PERSON continues to RANSACK the LABRATORY! Hey, why don't you just rot and die. NARRATOR cannot DIE! Or ROT! Isn't that a shame, that is what most people excel at. CLOAKED PERSON is MEAN! :(! Yes. Yes. I am. And after I finish collecting stuff from the ruins of this labratory, I'll be more than that! You'll be REALLY MEAN? No. Well, yes, but that isn't my point. I'll have complete control of this desolate wasteland! That's not much of an ACCOMPLISHMENT! Yeah well, evil villains have to start SOMEWHERE! EVIL VILLAINS usually have NAMES! I haven't come up with one yet, so sue me! NARRATOR can do more than that! CLOAKED PERSON was renamed BLACKMARKET BEARD! ...NO! That sounds like some sort of lame James Bond pirate! I demand a rename! BLACKMARKET BEARD was renamed THE BUTTERFLY! Eh, nobody suspects the BUTTERFLY! Muahahah! MUAHAH! HAHA! BUTTERFLY used EVIL LAUGHTER! LABORATORY RUINS start to COLLAPSE! Oh, maybe I over did it. BUTTERFLY used TELEPORT!
Location: Above Buried Laboratory
Phew, got out in time, now to calmly walk away with this large sack of stolen goods. VOICE: Stolen goods? Stop thief! I should probably pay attention to where I am before revealing things like that. DAMAGED ROBOT appeared! DAMAGED ROBOT: I demand that you hand over those stolen goods! I don't have any stolen goods. DAMAGED ROBOT: What is that large sack filled with then? Uh...air! DAMAGED ROBOT: Oh. You may proceed then. Yes. I will. BUTTERFLY starts to walk away! ROBOTIC HAND falls out of SACK! DAMAGED ROBOT: Hey, that looks familiar, hand over that...hand! BUTTERFLY started to RUN! DAMAGED ROBOT wants to fight! Darn, wasn't quick enough. DAMAGED ROBOT sent out DAMAGED ROBOT! BUTTERFLY sent out BUTTERFLY! DAMAGED ROBOT used BLASTER! Hit 5 times! Ow. Do you know how much that stings? DAMAGED ROBOT: Negatory. You're not much currently, but you seem like you'd be useful with a little repair. BUTTERFLY used SACK! ..........DAMAGED ROBOT was CAUGHT! Do you want to rename your DAMAGED ROBOT? Hm...I will renamed it something original, something never before heard of. I'll name it Prototype! DAMAGED ROBOT was renamed PROTOTYPE! Now lets do a little repairing here... BUTTERFLY used REPAIR! Gasp! Your PROTOTYPE is EVOLVING.... Oh wow, I thought only organic beings could do that... Oh FINE, Your PROTOTYPE is UPGRADING... Congratulations, your PROTOTYPE evolved into PROTOMAN! Ok, I'm sure that has some sort of plot significance, but now I have a henchman, and he has a nifty scarf~! And SO, BUTTERFLY and his NEWLY AQUIRED henchmen, continue on thier journey to become the Digital Ruler!
Battle #34: Did You Hear Something? April 24, 2004Player: Girl
Hey! I have a name you know! Don't just call me girl :( Rename GIRL? Yeah! My name is... I forgot. ...:(! I never though an emotion could be exclaimed through text, but obviously I'm wrong, haha :D NARRATOR thinks you look FAMILIAR! Oh really? Who do I look like? THAT would be TELLING! And nobody liked a TATTLETALE! I do~ :(((( Aww, isn't she CUTE! ...CUTE? GIRL was renamed QUEEN DEB! Queen Deb? I was a queen? SOMETHING like that! Oh, awesome! I rock. NARRATOR could do this all day but: MC woke up! MC: Urgh...my head... Oh! You! Thanks for helping me earlier! QUEEN DEB used HUGGLE! MC's SPECIAL rose! MC: Mmm...wait, Queen? I remembered my name, and I was a queen! MC: Yeah, and I am Prince Charles the Fourth. Oh really? We're practically cousins then! MC: ...she fails to see the point. QUEEN DEB used GLARE! Did you say something? MC: nothing! So, I should be doing something...something cute. I hear something. Huh? Did someone just speak? MC: I heard it before, this voice... Oh crap. Okay Narrator, take it from here, I'm going to go check on something. Oh ok! MC: Why do I get a bad feeling about this? Oh. WHILE THE WEBMASTER IS AWAY THE NARRATOR WILL PLAY! Ow. MC: Is it just me or did the Narrator go from booming to Hip Hop Bass? I don't get it. MC sighs!
<CrimsonKing> this version is hot anyway, its all good
CRIMSONKING used HOT! MC leers at QUEEN DEB! Eww no! I'm all sweaty now! It's too hot in here :((( QUEEN DEB leaves MC's HOUSE and exits into the BARREN XBOXOLYPTIC PLAINS! Not much of a view is it. MC appeared! MC: Nope. So, what are you going to do now. I think I have some friends out there. Maybe they remember me. MC: That's a good idea- Maybe they'll be cute too! MC: ...yeah.
Meanwhile...
YOSHI: Aaah! Not again! Not again! MARIO: Get back-a here you stranga dino! I wanta justa rida you! YOSHI: I know EXACTLY what you want go away! YOSHI runs away! MARIO runs away! LUIGI: Heh, you'da think that the dino woulda know about a-Mario's relationship with YOU-A, Princess, the way-a he's acting. PRINCESSTOADSTOOL's used PEACHSLAP! LUIGI: I was only referring to the way he plays Monopo- PRINCESSTOADSTOOL's attack continues! LUIGI fades away! PRINCESSTOADSTOOL fades away!
Back at the ranch...
On the other hand, maybe not.
BY STRIKING DOWN DIGITAL VERSION DID IT BECOME MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE? STAY TUNED AND MORE, OR LESS, ON THE NEXT DIGITAL VERSION!
Battle #33: Did You Get A Haircut? April 17, 2004Player: Webmaster
Oh.
Iit's YOU! What? Come
CRAWLING back after almost a YEAR of no UPDATES eh? Hey
:( What
ever HAPPENED to 'I will ALWAYS UPDATE!' Well....I
didn't end Digital did I? No
EXCUSES! Looks
like someone is grumpy. WHADDAYA
EXPECT?! I missed you :((( Awww...maybe
I should let you out of your cage. WEBMASTER
released NARRATOR! Bye
bye NARRATOR! WHAT?
Arrgh, he tricked me! No
choice now but to loan out a generic narrator. RUBY/SAPPHIRE
NARRATOR was hired! NOT to be
confused with RUBY VERSION'S NARRATOR! What
about Sapphire? Only
DEB matters! ...a
personality. No! I
have ESCAPED RUBY VERSION! The
lack of UPDATES is no longer my pain! WEBMASTER
uses CUT! HUH?! WEBMASTER
uses PASTE! NARRATOR
was sent back to RUBY VERSION! Thank
goodness Deb's Narrator never read those Narrator philosophies. I
can outsmart them all! WEBMASTER
smiles! TEETH
used GLEAM! Hey...didn't
that other NARRATOR just trick you? It's
super effective! WEBMASTER
was burned! OHHHHHH! :(
Don't remind me. Hey
wait...where did you come from? Wait,
don't tell me. I'd rather not know. OKAY!
:D <3 <3 <3 Well
at least it's happy. Now what
was I going to do again? Oh
yeah, recap what has happened in my absence. LAST
TIME, on DRAGONBA- DIGITAL VERSION! Comic
and Klarth went to fight the evil XBOX!
They met up with DEB and YOSHI!
And then they were all defeated SOUNDLY.
The world was devoured by MICROSOFT before they realised that there
was NOTHING LEFT! And so they
left. Now the remnants of the
XBOX civilization remain, and none remain who know what has happened to
our hero, and his Kirby. And
more IMPORTANTLY, where is Queen Deb!?
Surely she wasn't defeated also!
I won't allow it! In
fact- That's
enough. But
DEB is so cute! You cannot let her die! :(( Don't
plan on it. Well lets get to
starting by introducing a new main character. MAINCHARACTER:
hi! MAINCHARACTER:
What? My name is Beniha
McLeon! What is going on
here? Scottish
and Japanese? o_O
Anyways, you are to be called MC! MC:
Arr. Well...I
could always give you a hammer. Then
we'd call that MC's HAMMER. MC:
Arr. Well...lets
stick you into the story. MC
appears in a DIRTY, BLEAK, SMELLY CITY that has TRASH everywhere! MC:
I'm in New York? ...NO...well
INTRODUCE YOURSELF while I think of somewhere else. MC:
I'm Beniha McLeon! I am a
computer enthusiast that loves to tinker with things!
My blood type is O! I'm
5 foot 11 and I have blue hair and green eyes!
I am currently searching for a mystical robot that is reputed to be
a database of endless knowledge on acute mechanics! Good
enough. Hey watch your- *BAM!!* Step. MC
has tripped on a pair of LEGS! Which
is pretty much normal, only he tripped on someone ELSE'S legs this time!
They are poking out of a TRASHBIN! MC
looks inside the TRASHBIN and GASPS! MC:
Ugggh it stinks. MC
looks in again and pulls on the legs, pulling out a FEMALE FIGURE! You
know...it might be easier to make MC the player now. Player:
MC Oh…it’s
a doll. O_o SOMETHING
is ATTACHED to DOLL! Ack!
A person! Is she
dead!? GIRL:
Guru-guru…@_@ GIRL
is rolling on the ground! MC
picks GIRL up! It’s
not very effective! Arrgh
girl, whatchu weigh? 2 million kilo? GIRL
FROWNS at SUCH A SUGGESTION! GIRL
used SLAP! It’s
super effective! MC
flies into the WALL! WALL
used FALL! BALL
BALL BALL! Wheeeee! I
have a feeling that the Narrator isn’t entirely sane. WHAT
EVER gave you THAT impression! My
impression in the wall. Oh
well maybe! La de da!!!~~~ MC
carries GIRL to his now-existant HOUSE! Welcome
to my crib, my pad, my little slice of heaven! Uh huh uh huh! MC
accidentally DROPS GIRL! Whoops!
I’m sorry- …On
her HEAD! It’s
super effective! GIRL
fainted! Oh
no! What should I do now?
Right I remember, a revive should do the trick. MC
uses REVIVE! GIRL:
Ugggh where am I? I
brought you to my house. MC’s
EYEBROWS raise SUGGESTIVELY! No
they didn’t! GIRL:
What? How dare you! But
but but- GIRL
wants to FIGHT! MC
doesn’t want to FIGHT! He
has no choice! GIRL
has no pokemon, so she sent out herself! MC
sent out himself! What
the heck are pokemon? Pay
no heed to that! GIRL
used SLAP! It
really hurt! Ow! MC’s
EGO drops sharply! I
was just trying to help… MC
is loafing around! Hey!
I just got knocked to the ground, what do you expect? GIRL
used KICK! GIRL
fell down after missing MC and kicking a wall! GIRL
used CRY! No!
Don’t cry! I am not here to
hurt you! MC
used COMFORT! It’s
strangely effective! GIRL:
I don’t remember…anything…and I’m so alone! :( Poor
girl, you can stay with me, I’ll be here! GIRL:
really? Uh…sure. GIRL
glomps onto MC with a force that could crush CARS! Urk. GIRL
used KISS! It’s
super effective! MC
fainted! GIRL
won the battle! GIRL:
Tee hee :>
Comment on Battle 33? - Uh yeah.
Battle #32: The Meaning of Life Sans 10 October 29, 2002Player: Webmaster
WEBMASTER sighs! What's up WEBMASTERING MAN!? Oh it's just that I haven't been updating lately. And that is DIFFERENT from normal...how? Oh, I actually have ideas for stuff I want to write! STOP THE PRESSES! This isn't a newspaper. OH, that's RIGHT! Anyway..? WHENEVER you have an IDEA for a BATTLE, it ALMOST ALWAYS sucks! ... A LOT! Thanks for the support, Narrator. So, what are these OBVIOUSLY DOOMING ideas? Well, for one, I wanted Deb to meet Comic- Oooooh <3 <3 <3 LOOOOOVE is in the AIR! Uh no. I FEEL a SONG COMING ON! Oh god, Narrator is going to sing. COMIC enables MST mode! EVERYWHERE I look around! LOOOOOOOVE is in the air! It is getting hard to breathe... Every SIGHT and every SOUND! And I don't KNOW if I'm being FOOLISH! You are. Don't know if I'm being wise! Are you ever? But it's something that I must believe in! I thought Narrators only believed in pain suffering and the PUNishing way? And it's there when I look in your eyes! It's love because it makes him lie! Love is in the air! Like smoke that clogs your lungs! In the whisper of the trees! Whispy Woods~ Love is in the air! And I wish this song was over! The SONG abrubtly ENDS thank you very much! Hey, I'm not the one that started singing! And so offkey! I think the ENTIRE world is BETTER OFF that you didn't! Hey :( I may be atonal, and my voice may crack occaisionally, and..uh.. Forgot your point? I'll give you a point you freaking Narrator! WEBMASTER gives NARRATOR a POINT! HEY! THAT'S SHARP! Yes, just like me. The only thing sharp is your pencild- HEY! What? This is a PG-13...ish rated website, keep the language down you motherf- *ZZZAPPP*
I'Z Chan: Being the will of the universe is no easy job here. Time to do my magic work! We can't have you arguing because Digital is about LOVE and PEACE! LOVE AND PEACE! LOOOOOOVE AND PEAAAACE!
*/ZZZAPPP* EVERYTHING MAGICALLY RESET ITSELF! Hmm I smell something sickeningly sweet in the air. REALLY? I smell something like tuna. ... What? Nevermind. I still need to write a battle for today. And I don't feel like advancing the plot for any specific reason. THEN have a RANDOM SIDE STORY! Oh, like with some character that will randomly be not a main character only to be a key role player later on in the plot? Yeah! I mean, no! Too late.
Player: Otaku Pilot!
Hoo Ha! I am going to crush all my opponents after a long lengthy battle with flashy battle where I will undoubtedly come close to death many times only to be spurred on my by many love interests and a touching reflection from my female leading commander! YOU don't HAVE any LOVE INTERESTS! ..I don't? NO. Then who will spur me o- Nobody. But how will I win my battles- You won't. I won't accept this! This must be where the main character has an inner battle of doubt versus self worth! You are obviously my doubt and self demeaning properties while I am the self worth and cheerfulness! I must win for the sake of the world! Who knows what THE ENEMY could be doing now! The ENEMY is currently drinking TEA! My Enemy is British? New Zealandish. Oh. So how evil are my enemy! Not really evil at all, they just kind of make PUNS and try thier entire lives to see another New Zealander, you know, since the population is like, 5. So I'm fighting against 5 people? No, only 1 could make it. Oh, does he have a giant mecha too? For one, you don't have a Giant Mecha- I don't? This anime sucks. And two, your 'enemy' is a sheep. I'm fighting a sheep. You've summarized the situation quite well, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! ...this really sucks. Hey, this is all you could come up with in your subconsious. You must have a really weak mind. Zzzz. He's asleep, well that proves my point. Zzzz. HEY WAKE UP THE SHEEP IS ATTACKING YOU WATCH OUT! Aaaaah!!!!!! Don't eat me! OTAKUPILOT ran away! Guess his role model was Shinji Ikari. --; Wonder what I should do with this Giant Mecha he left behind. Maybe I could give it to the main character at a crucial point in a battle to turn the tables so that good will triumph over evil! Or I could play with it like a doll.
*ten minutes later*
Would you like anymore tea, Eva-01-san? EVA01: No thanks, this is good, thank you sir. Grarrr. Love and Peace et wot. Ehh I THINK it's time for WEBMASTER to SLEEP! Never! Well maybe...zzz YOU can ALWAYS tell when WEBMASTER is SLEEP when his insanity goes insane :)
NEXT TIME ON DIGITAL: We have no idea. But feel free to comment on this battle.
Battle #31: A singa bouta the lova and the dova October 06, 2002Player: Comic Location: Some road in Digital Version
Well, THE BUICK is pretty slow. THEBUICK plods along faster than a dead turtle! But not by much! Hey, I think I saw the Evoluvan pass us. KLARTH: Didn't that get turned into a time machine? HEY! There's a FOURTH WALL right there, watch out! KLARTH and COMIC crashed into the FOURTH WALL! It's very amnesia dust! No, I think it's talcum powder. AMNESIA DUST! See? It's all in my hair. AMNESIA DUSSSST! Oh, huh? Where am I? KLARTH: What? KIRBY: Eh? What's all this talcum powder doing on my shirt?
*BZZT* I'Z CHAN: Aaah this won't do at all! THINGS RANDOMLY CHANGE AROUND TO FIT THE WEBMASTER'S MOOD! */BZZT*
Player: Deb Location: Rob-No-Kami's Secret Hideout...thing
Prepare for trouble! YOSHI: And make it double! To protect the world from unkawaii black and green boxes of doom! YOSHI: To punish those who don't clean thier room? DEB blinks! Uhh...I'm Deb! YOSHI: Yoshi! TOGETHER: Together we are Team...Kawaii or something! ROB-NO-KAMI: That's nice and all, but the evil robot of doom isn't ready for you to destroy it and ultimately foil my plans. It's not? ROB: No, you have to meet up with another group of travellers first, and then go with them and help them defeat it, by then it should be ready. Then we'll have the epic battle where I ALMOST win, but then I don't. Why should I listen to you? ROB: Because you look so kawaii when you do. DEB blushes! Awww....no. Get'm Yoshi! SOUNDS of PAIN and DESTRUCTION ENSUE! Hey, lookit this, Yoshi! This must be the robot he was talking about. YOSHI: I think that's a plushie. Oh, what's a robot? YOSHI: They eat hair or something. Not sure, Liquid wasn't big on sci-fi stuff. Right, maybe this big metal-human looking thing knows. YOSHI: Oooh button. YOSHI presses a button on MEGAMAN's HEAD! MEGAMAN's eyes open up! Well, that's a nice shade of red you have there. MEGAMAN: Master? YOSHI: Yoshi no like mustard. Nono, he said Master. MEGAMAN looks around and spots DEB! Hey there big guy. YOSHI: Yoshi think guy is smaller than Deb. Shh, he's starting to say something. MEGAMAN: Wode Airen, wo ai ni. MEGAMAN glomps onto DEB! Eeek! Get it off get it off! YOSHI eats MEGAMAN! ...that looked like it hurt. YOSHI: Yoshi think stomach agree later. Well until he gets laid into an egg, you ARE going to lay him out as an egg, right? We need to find these other heroes that guy was talking about. YOSHI: Where did guy go anyway? Well uh...crap! He left after we beat him up! YOSHI: I think it more of a beat down. Anyways...DRAMATIC CUT OFF HERE! STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT WHAT DEB SAID? MAYBE SHE WANTS CHEESECAKE? WHO KNOWS!!!!!!111
Battle #30: Hey, it's battle thirty. Of Digital. Wow. September 08, 2002Player: Webmaster (Comic-San) Location: Webmaster's House
Aaaaah! It's time to update and I have nothing to put up! HAS that EVER stopped YOU before?! No, but my incessant lazyness has! BIG WORDS, for someone who claims to SLACK! Ha ha, very funny Narrator, you're as funny as a sock. SOCKS are FUNNY? No, they're not. Some consider them to be kawaii... DEB thinks I'M KAWAII! OMG. Hey! If you're going to talk, do it without...THAT. What r u talkin bout? THAT! UH? Grrr. WEBMASTER starts glowing GREEN! lol! Grrraaaaaaaaa... WEBMASTER starts glowing relly GREEN now! loloolol! AAARRGGGGUGGURUARAAAA! Do you have CONSTIPATION or something? You should really be in tha BATHROOM then! :):):):) LOL AAAARRRGGAAAGGUUUURRGGHHHAA! Hey, we hit 20 lines, you can STOP now. AAARG- oh we did? Yep. Good, I didn't want to continue with that DBZ AND AOL joke. Yeah, we're not STORM VERSION, we have a reputation to keep! Heeey! I wrote for Storm Version once, and they're my friends! UHH...not to COMMENT on your CHOICE of FRIENDS...but... DIE! AAAAH! NARRATOR RUNS IN CIRCLES! WEBMASTER chases him with a KNIFE! HELP ME GOOOOOD HE IS GOING TO KILL ME! You should know by now friends are the most important thing to me! More than TRUTH and LOVE? Well.... TRUTH AND LOVE! Uh. TRUTH AND LOVE! Okay fine, it's about the same. Maybe a little more. TRUUUUUUTH AND LOOOOOOVE! *BAM* AIEEEEe... WEBMASTER puts away his BAZOOKA! Next time stop repeating yourself. HEY, THIS BATTLE pretty big for FILLER. Yeah, I think we can stop no-
Battle #29: #something: It's a dang mess? August 31, 2002Player: Comic Location: XBOX Floating Fortress of Fortitude...still
Well Kirby, are you ready? KIRBY X: ... Now now, don't be overenthusiastic. Save some of that for the battle. KIRBY X: Ooookay. Urrh. Well anyways, HERE WE GO INTO THE MAIN BOSS'S ROOM! *hint hint* HEY! I get the POINT! I'm just that sharp :) But I'm in the MIDDLE of a MEAL HERE! Didn't you eat last battle? And HOW LONG AGO, was THAT? I dunno, since the webmaster couldn't have me standing here for a week or more, he decided to just make it be a one-two minute difference inbeteen the last battle and this one. WHOA, SLOW down BUDDY! We don't need an EXPLANATION NOW! ****** I would like to mention that Exploitation Now has ended. We all need a little Exploitation Now in our lives. Go check it out if you haven't done so. ****** My name isn't Buddy. :( Kirby X: Coomiic :< Yeah yeah, bad pun. What else is nEW. :P COMIC and KIRBY X WALK into the MAIN BOSS'S ROOM! LARGE XBOX sits in the middle of the ROOM! ...it can't be this easy. KIRBY X: Banzai! Nooo! It's a trap! KIRBY X jumps at the XBOX! XBOX crumbles! What the- LARGE TV SET LOWERS FROM the CEILING! TV: We're sorry, but the XBOX you're looking for is in another castle. What the, after all that work? This is INJUSTICE! I demand a recount- err wait... MARIO: Yeah, it sucks, doesn't it. Mario? What the heck are you doing here?
Meanwhile, Elsewhere
YOSHI: Aaah! Yoshi feel bad feeling! DEB: It's alright Yoshi...Holypuff ate that plumber and...and...*tears up* YOSHI: Yoshi know you right but still...Yoshi feel bad feeling.
Back to the Present Area....thing
MARIO is now KNOWN as KLARTH! Hmm I have the feeling that only certain people will understand that change. KLARTH: I think you'd be right. o_O FLASHFIRE: It doesn't matter anyway. o_O KASEKI: Yeah :/ matt: HAY1 THAT IS RIGHT VAPR: Just a (censored) mess. FLASHFIRE: Hey, aren't you pokemon related? Shouldn't you not be here? VAPR: Probably right. FLASHFIRE: But you're not leaving. VAPR: Nope. ... ANYWAYS..... So, any idea where I could find this XBOX? KLARTH: First of all, I think your buddy could need some help... KIRBY X: Anyone have some gravy? I need it for my science project. Flying Hamtaro...Googly Eyes Purple Dragon, attack! WhooOooooOoo..... I think he landed too hard... KLARTH: Second of all: Why the hell do you want an Xbox anyway? All you need is a PSX or PS2 and a copy of DDR, any mix will do. A computer with a PSX emulator will suffice. Eh, I'm trying to save the world by destroying the XBOX, not by playing *shudder*. Anyways, the Almighty One doesn't support PSX emulation. KLARTH: Oh, you're killing it? Killing is good. I'll help. I provide some transportation. You wouldn't mean... KLARTH: Yep, THE Buick! Uh....if it's up here on the top of this tower...how are we going to get it to ground level? KLARTH: Oh, it's already down there, I had the cleaning service detail it. Why, exactly? KLARTH: Oh, Lloyd came over for a 'joyride', and it got pretty messy. Ugh...I really don't want to know. KLARTH: I'm sure. So, off we go? KIRBY: Alalaalalaal hike! WHeeeEEe *thunk* *thunk* *thunk* Looks like Kirby is rearing to go! KLARTH: Looks like Kirby is falling down 40 flights of stairs... Oh crap. Kiiiirrrrrrrrbieeeeeeeeee! COMIC runs after KIRBY! KLARTH runs down the STAIRS with DDR-like FOOTWORK!
Location: The Webmaster's House
Ehh....I'm tired. And jealous that Klarth has more DDR skillz than me...heck, anyone except people who don't play, have more DDR skillz than me. Heck, that DDR playing sheep has more skillz than me... It got double A's in BUTTERFLY? Eh, is a AA even possible in that mix? Eh...forget it, I'm still tired. WEBMASTER is ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP! But....must...save....work.... WEBMASTER used CLICK! SAVEBUTTON was clicked! SAVEBUTTON wants to fight! Zzzz... SAVEBUTTON walks away dejectedly... The Next Day... Hmm...Maybe I should finish that battle up. WEBMASTER used DOUBLECLICK! FILE was fully opened! Hmm...what the heck was I thinking when I wrote this? Klarth in a Pokebattle? Next we'll have him go and capture tal and L0ne_W0lf...... Actually... WEBMASTER gets TO WRITING! o/~ You get to writing! o/~ AAAH THE ATONALNESS BURNS! NARRATOR RAN AWAY!!!! The webmaster can't sing, but his voice still burns. Muaaha.
Back to the battle....
What is that eerie screeching? KIRBY: Aaaiieieeei it hurts! KLARTH: Sounds like Duo. ...perhaps. KITE: I've never seen the Borg, but I'm sure that's what it sounds like. Hey! I don't sing that badly! ...When did you two get here? Two? You know, the Kite thing. Oh, that was just a passing cameo. SADLY, THE WEBMASTER is TELLING NO LIES! For once. KLARTH: Webmaster? ....Klarth? KLARTH: Is that you Comic-San?! I am going to kill you for putting me in here! Having your sister warn me in AIM isn't enough? You have to humiliate me too? Arrgh! I want DDR. :( Hey...would it help matters any if I told you I was drunk when I wrote you in? KLARTH: No. Okay, then I won't lie to you: I have no idea why you're here, I mean, half the time, you're not even funny. KLARTH: That makes two of us. This is a (censored) mess. KLARTH: What the, censored? Oh yeah, the RSACi Cloud is still in effect here, no cursing above a minimal level. KLARTH: Urrh.....did I just say 'urrh'? (censored) it! Oh, by the way, you're going to kill he XBOX now, right? KLARTH: Yes...might as well, maybe I'll get a DDR Pad as reward. Me too! KIRBY: Dun forget mweee! Hmm, I should equip you guys formidably. *snicker* Yay weapons! KIRBY got ULTIMATE X ARMOR! COMIC gets MASTER SWORD! *starts humming Zelda Theme* KLARTH gets....haha... KLARTH: What did I get? I want to know (censored)! KLARTH got PORNMAG! KLARTH: WHAT THE HECK?! HEY, it's not my fault you hit people with books. KLARTH: I'm not happy with this. Would you prefer a DUOPORNMAG? It's +5 to 'being that way'! KLARTH: You mean it?- Err...I mean no!!!! Then stop complaining, you silly goose. COMIC shudders! And so, COMIC, joined by a new FRIEND, get in THE BUICK, and drive off to the next castle.
Elsewhere... Player: Rob no Kami
MEGAMAN: 3? No you idiot! Your name is Mega Man! I am your master and recreator! MEGAMAN: Uh... Arrgh. Here's a quarter, go buy me some aspirin or something. MEGAMAN: Ooooh quarter. MEGAMAN drops QUARTER! QUARTER runs away! MEGAMAN: Come back quarter! MEGAMAN chases after the QUARTER! Ehh...that's what I get for buying parts from a blob...I should have known better after the Ditto72 incident...wait, that hadn't happened in the version before the WEBMASTER decided to END ALL LIFE! I hate him! Grr. I wish he'd die! ...No I don't...I just wish he'd just slip on a wet floor or something, break a wrist, maybe...something to cause him pain.... THAT'S QUITE a INNER-NARRATIVE you got THERE! Narrator! No! I EXPECT TO BE PAID FOR MY SILENCE! What? You're not going to cause me pain and torment? WELL, YES, but I won't tell WEBMASTER that you're here. FOR A PRICE! Well...I guess that was wishful thinking on my part. ROB-NO-KAMI digs in his WALLET! ROB-NO-KAMI gives NARRATOR an UNDISCLOSED AMOUNT! Is that enough? YES. For....TODAY...! Grr. I have the power to make MechaPuff...you don't want to cross me, NARRATOR. WELL, THERE'S ONE FLAW in that LOGIC. IF YOU could make it, YOU WOULD HAVE! Instead of building MEGAMAN! Foiled! And I would've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those cursed points of logic! MEGAMAN runs by chasing a butterfly! Butterfly? Since when did butterflies live undergrou- ....oh shit. ROB-NO-KAMI looks on in horror at....AAH! NARRATOR runs away!
Battle # 28: Hmm... August 10, 2002Player: Comic Location: XBOX Floating Fortress of Fortitude
W ell, after a long, hard, and obviously hilarious journey, we finally made it here Kirby X.KIRBY X: Yep! KIRBY X UNEXPECTEDLY SHRIEKS! What? I don't see anyone! Hey, what are those sparks coming out of your armor? KIRBY is being HACKED! But he isn't a reploid! Only looks like it! THE AUDIENCE is DEATHLY SILENT! NOBODY CARES~ MICROSOFT cares not for LOGIC, that's why they have a MONOPOLY! Mmmm Board Walk. Err what? Don't TALK like THAT! There are KIDS watching! Don't you mean reading? Shut up. KIRBY X: Gugugugugugufufu Okay that doesn't sound good. COMIC used ANTIHACK! It's a battle of WIT! MICROSOFT vs a person who can't even script in mIRC! MICROSOFT used ANTITRUST! The battle is unpredictable! MICROSOFT can't be TRUSTED! Well if it wasn't, would people read it? Well, considering DIGITAL's FANBASE, nobody reads it anyway. Oh, okay then, make me win. Less work for you. NARRATOR agrees that SLACKING in your FAVOUR seems like a GOOD idea! Yes. OKAY! COMIC won the HACK BADGE! COMIC now OUTHACKS ANYTHING! Even Domingo? Hey, we said THING, not PEOPLE. Oh. I think it's still debatable. KIRBY X: Braaiiiins. Well I need to fix that, I like my brain...in my head. COMIC used EDITEDIT! KIRBY X: Graaiiiins. Eh, he's a vegetarian psuedoreploid marshmellow that has the power level of half a doompuff. I guess that's an improvement over a brain-eating-zombie psuedoreploid marshmellow with half the power level of a doompuff that looks at my head like it was a deli sandwich. Yes. Good improvement. NARRATOR sure COULD go for a DELI SANDWICH RIGHT NOW!d BRB! ... Oh my god Kirby X! That is the most genious plan I've ever heard! Lets go! ... ... ... Use your KILL attack on him Kirby! ... ... ... Move the block over there, so we can get the red gem from the statue that helps open the door to the room that holds the diamond key that'll fit into the diamond lock that leads to the green key card so we can get out of here! ... ... ... MMM SANDWICH. THAT was GOOD! What did I miss? Oh we only got to the point right outside of the main boss room? HOW do you know it's the MAIN BOSS ROOM? Oh we only had to find the Big Boss Key so that we could fight the miniboss that was right before this room. Also there is a big sign saying 'BIG BOSS ROOM' right there. Oh. Well.... COMIC opened the DOOR! *gasp* KIRBY X: AIEEeeeeeee! THE AUDIENCE GASPS! OAK: What? You think I keep people from doing things with my mind? That's why I joined up with Microsoft! I helped them with thier XBOX so that it would look like the most fearsome pokemon....Mewtwo. It doesn't look like a Mewtwo. Not that he's fearsome anyway. The pansy. OAK: It doesn't? Nope. OAK: Really? Really really. OAK: Well that explains why they locked me in this dungeon. So, you're not the main boss person? OAK: Nope, that big man behind you with the sword in the shape of an X is. COMIC turns AROUND! AIEEEEEEEEEeeee. ... ... Okay he's not attacking. XBALROG has BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH on his FACE! Oh well that explains it. But how is Oak still alive? OAK: That's easy, everytime he used his Kill attack, I told him now was not the time to use that attack. And then he asked me what he should do, and I told him to go into sleep mode, then he slept, but when he woke up, he froze like that. So how did he get behind me? COMIC isn't very OBSERVANT! XBALROG was there the entire time! No he wasn't, you're just covering up plotholes. LIES! I mean it, you're horrible at lying! LALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALALA! :( You make Deb cry. WHAT? :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( Nooooooo! How dare you accuse me of doing that! YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED! COMIC was sent to XBOX's LAIR! Hmmph. KIRBY X: :( You meanie. NARRATOR sent KIRBY X to XBOX's LAIR! You two get OUT of my SIGHT. :( NARRATOR goes to SULK!
Battle # 27: What? July 30, 2002 Player: (Webmaster) Comic-San
*MUNCH* WEBMASTER used EAT! *MUNCH* It's super effective?! Uh? A Narrator? What are you doing here? THE BATTLE HAS BEGUN! Uh which battle? THE EPIC battle between WEBMASTER and his LUNCH! Actually this is dinner. Shut up. Hmm? No exclamation mark? ! Ah. No need to be so loud. *MUNCH* The CROWD is HEATING UP over this HOT BATTLE! But it's a deli sandwich. And not one of those roasted subs...*MUNCH* Well...is it TASTY at LEAST? Oh yes, very tasty. Could I have a BITE? Uh.... KASEKI: ;P :( WEBMASTER glances AROUND! WEBMASTER sees NOBODY! NOBODY: Oh hi, don't mind me. Eh sure why not. Yay! ^_^ o_o; NARRATOR used BITE! LUNCH fainted! Well that'll be a problem tomorrow. *MUNCH* Ew you MONSTER! How can you eat an UNCONSCIOUS SANDWICH?! Uhm Otacon, how many sandwiches AREN'T unconscious? Is that an ACTUAL question or just some sort of SARCASTIC REMARK? You're the NARRATOR, decide yourself. *MUNCH* OKAY! I have DECIDED that THAT was a- how BIG is that SANDWICH anyway? Pretty big, I got the idea after seeing this guy in a comic make one, I think it's called a Dagwood. MMMM.... Hey! You've had your bite! Back off! Its MINE! MIIIIINE! O_O; My precious....they won't hurt you... NARRATOR thinks WEBMASTER has gone CRAZY...ER from TOO MUCH RO, FFX, GTA3, WCIII, and other DELICIOUS GAMES for the PC, PS2, and ANY OTHER SYSTEM. Too much? I don't think that is POSSIBLE. You spout the devil's words! Hey, that reminds me, how is Comic doing in Digital Version anyway against the XBOX that leaked over the dimensional barrier from Red Version? WHO? You know, the character based on me, that was in Rusty Version for a while, and has Kirby as a pokemon and is destined to save to world many times, each time somehow losing all the cool stuff he got in his last adventure? You mean MEGAMAN? No, he got lost in the Digital Version format..I think... HMM, I'll CHECK! NARRATOR GO POOF!
Location: Somewhere in Digital Version
ROB-NO-KAMI: Muahahaha! I have done it! I have rebuilt the legendary Megaman better, stronger, faster, much, much smarter than ever! I will get revenge on the Webmaster and he will RUE the day he tried to format me! Uh, isn't RUE some sort of SAUCE used in COOKING? ROB-NO-KAMI: Uh, yeah, I think so- HEY WHO WHAT GET OUT! NARRATOR GO POOF?
Location: Wherever we were before. o_O; (Also known as somewhere else)
Yeah, MEGAMAN was deleted! I THINK. Uh..thanks? o_o THAT'LL DO PIG, THAT'LL DO. Hey I don't need that from you too. But thanks for reminding me. *MUNCH* I thought YOU didn't EAT PORK! I don't. WEBMASTER snaps! With my fingers. YOU always RUIN my FUN! :(
Location: A different place in Digital Version
PIG: OINK. SOMETHING HAPPENED! PIG: MOO?
Location: Back where we were the first time. (Also known as somewhere else)
? Oh, I owed a favor to a little blob. Oh. So, are you GOING to write a battle ANYTIME soon? Hmm, I don't think I will. I think I'll just write some random crap and post it as a battle. You THINK THAT'LL WORK? Hmm, I don't know. Lets see. WEBMASTER LOOKS AT YOU! Did it work?
Battle # 26: And now I'm Bleeding :< April 27, 2002Player: Comic-San
So that's how it is. RANULE: With little girls? No.
NURSEJOY: Okay right this way Mr. Box...
Location: Somewhere Else
COWLIKEFIGURE: MOOHAHAHA! COWLIKEASSISTANT: Sir! Digital just updated! COWLIKEFIGURE: Send out something to stop that. :( COWLIKEASSISTANT: We did that last week. COWLIKEFIGURE: Oh. MOOHAHAHAAH! >:D
Okay then you will post feedback and stuff. Right? o.o;;;
Battle # 25: Ow! I Stabbed Myself April 21, 2002Player: Comic-San
Wow...it's been a while!
Give Feedback if you can read this. ^^
Battle # 24: It's 42 spelled backwards. February 09, 2002Player: Silent Python
COMIC appeared! Halt! KIRBY appeared! I SAIIIID HALT! COMIC and KIRBY HALTED! o.o Uhh...why'd you stop? COMIC sweatdrops! KIRBY: Hiiiiii! I mean, I would've rather had a shootout with you. COMIC: But I don't have a gun. o_O;; Aww..then I would've punched you one. COMIC: But I don't enjoy punches. :( That's what makes it fun! COMIC: Why were you going to stop me anyway? Oh that, you're trespassing. DUN dun DUN! COMIC: Where'd that music come from? I don't know, I'm going to go find it and kill it after you. COMIC: You're going to kill me? Aieee. Yes. Now shut up and die! PYTHON charges at COMIC! PYTHON trips on KIRBY! KIRBY: Owieee PYTHON flies through the air! COMIC: o_O KIRBY used EAT! PYTHON was swallows! KIRBY is a DEAD PARROT! COMIC: Ahhh! Kirby is no more! COMIC picks up KIRBY and bangs him on a nearby COUNTER! KIRBY was hit with RECOIL! KIRBY spit out PYTHON! *gasp* Need...air... KIRBY is normal! KIRBY: Yaaaay. Merely...a flesh wound... PYTHON faints! PYTHON disappeared! PYTHON will be back! MUAHAHAH! COMIC: Uh....
Player: Comic
That was udderly useless. Now to continue searching for this MR. Pokemon person. MRPOKEMON appeared! Wow that was easy. MRPOKEMON: No, It's just plot advancement. What? MRPOKEMON: Nevermind that, this is what you need! COMIC recieved EGG! Thanks...I think...what's it do? COMIC used EGG! OAK: Now is not the time to use that! OAK: Oh and by the way, here's a POKEDEX! COMIC recieved POKEDEX in his POKEGEAR! Didn't I already have one? OAK: Now is not the time to question me! My head hurts... MRPOKEMON: Okay, now go back the dangerous way you came! MRPOKEMON kicked COMIC out the door! But I was already outside... MRPOKEMON: Go already!
Location: Outside...somewhere....o_o;;
Okay...so how do we get back to um...who's lab? Kirby: Uhhhhh... You don't know either...we're doomed. ??? appeared! Aaaah he's evil! COMIC tried to HIDE! Can't escape! ??? wants to battle! I don't~ Too bad, we want ACTION! ??? sent out RAICHU! OMG it's a mouse. o_o;; COMIC sent out KIRBY! I did...oh...right... KIRBY used INHALE! KIRBY took a big breath and ran away! Uhh... COMIC whited out!
Give Feedback here...if you read the battle...
Battle # 23: This is the best battle on the feedback board, don't look at the others January 25, 2002Player: Comic Location: Currently Undisclosed
MOM: Comic, wake up...wake up...you don't want to be late! Uhh...what? MOM: You'll be late to get your pokemon if you don't hurry! Get my pokemon? What are you talking about mom! MOM walks away! Mom? Where are you going Mom? Arrgh. Now I have to get up. COMIC got out of BED! BED: Good riddance to bad rubbish. Somehow this reminds me of something, not sure what though... COMIC went downstairs! Eh...since when did I have a two story house? You've always had a two story HOUSE! COMIC shrugs! Ahhh...NARRATOR MIND TRICK! :D MOM: Oh, here's your allowance. COMIC got ¥2000! Uh...Yen? MOM: Oh I almost forgot! Take this PokeGear! COMIC got POKEGEAR! MOM: Now hurry up! MOM pushed COMIC through the DOOR! DOOR: Ow! Next time open it first. @_@ COMIC shrugs again! Hmm, now would be a prime time to whistle idly if I could whistle... COMIC bumps into a SIGN! Professor Elm's Lab? Oh yeah, I was supposed to go here. COMIC entered the LAB! ELM: MUAHAHAHAH- err, you must be... Comic. Apparantly. ELM: Alright Mr. Comic Apparantly, you're late. Apparantly isn't my last name. ¬¬ ELM: Sorry but I've run out of Pokemon for you. Oh well? ELM: But I can't let you give up so easily! I have this odd pokemon I caught a while ago you will train? Is that a question or a statement? COMIC recieved POKEBALL! ELM: Go ahead, open the pokeball. Eh...how? ELM sweatdrops! ELM: Push the little button in the middle of the shiny ball thingy! Ohhh. POKEBALL opened! Obviously. :o KIRBY poppped out! KIRBY: Hiiiiii! OMG it's so kawaii. ELM: You aren't very effeminate, are you? Because if you are....I have a strict no Yaoi rule. Uh...no. ELM: Alright, now you must do me a favor. Why? ELM: ...uh...because. That's not a reason. ELM: Sure it is. No it's not. ELM YES IT IS! >< Okay okay you don't have to yell. Wait...why do I get the feeling I was tricked? ELM: *ahem* Alright, you must go to Mr. Pokemon's house and get something for me. Get what? ELM: Got it? No. ELM: Alright I'll be seeing you. ELM kicked COMIC out the door! KIRBY ran out the door! KIRBY jumped onto COMIC! Oof. KIRBY: Hiiiii. Hi...now get off me please. KIRBY: Ohhhhh. KIRBY jumped off COMIC! KIRBY: Geronimo! I'm not that big. --;; Alright, so how do we get to this Mr. Pokemon? KIRBY points at sign! This...way...to...Mr...Pokemon's house. How convenient. COMIC walked in TALL GRASS! :O Wild SENTRET appeared! WTF is that it's a monster AAAH! COMIC ran away! o_O;; It's super wierd. KIRBY used EAT! KIRBY ATE SENTRET! Nothing!
Setting: Mr. Pokemon's House
COMIC appeared! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! MRPOKEMON: What is the matter? There are MONSTERS out there! MRPOKEMON: Really? Eek! MRPOKEMON used HIDE! He's super hidden! KIRBY appeared! KIRBY: Hiiiii! COMIC breathes heavily! That was scary. o.o KIRBY: Where are you Mr. Pokey mon? MRPOKEMON jumps through the window and runs away! Aww nutbunnies. Now how are we going to find him? KIRBY: Hiiide and Seeek. Simple answers for simple questions. COMIC jumps through the window and runs away! KIRBY runs through the window and runs away! Nothing! o.o KIRBY USED EAT! FEEDBACK WAS EATEN? FEED BACK!
Battle # 22: AWK AWK EEK EEK TOOKI TOOKI January 18, 2001 Player: Comic-San
COMIC woke up! Just get on with the battle already. --; Not a MORNING PERSON I see! It's not morning, it's almost 11PM! At least you're not A COMIC of the NIGHT! I hope that wasn’t supposed to be a joke…
Setting: TOBY'S HOUSE Player: DEB
Oh let's see now, got my strawberries, yay, got my plushies, double yay, and my gamecube. TOBY: Triple Yay ending in a figure 8. Toby that was sad. :< TOBY: What? You don't watch Skyayting on TV? :< TOBY'S head hung in shame! TOBY: It's not my fault! I'm just a badly written character! Eat strawberries! TOBY: You ate them all. VOICE: Yeah, you pig. Crimson hi! VOICE: How'd you kno- err, I mean wtf? Who's Crimson? You're not Crimson? I miss him now. :< VOICE: Crimson says you suck. I thought you didn't know who Crimson was! VOICE: Oops...you really suck! VOICE ran away! ...was it ever really here in the first place? ALIENGAL: The voices in my head are telling me weird things...Deb sucks? What? Noooo! TOBY: That's not a voice in your head, it's the head voice of Crimson. That was sad tooo :< TOBY walked away sheepishly! So, other than video games, what do you do for fun? TOBY: Well, I spend all day making up puns, so I will always be ready. ALIENGAL: I play sports. Eww...sports. Hey, do you know where Koush lives? TOBY: Actually...no, but ewe do. TOBY pushes DEB outside! BAGOFPLUSHIES appeared! STRAWBERRIES appeared! ...and THAT'S IT! What about my gamecube? :( TOBY: Mine! TOBY ran off saying something about 'MY PRECIOUS!'! Thief! Become a THIEF in RAGNAROK ONLINE BETA by going through the PYRAMID in MORROC! Only for another few weeks at most will it be free! Download this major big file today! Muahaha die PORINGS! Stab me not~ NARRATOR stabbed MENOT! MENOT: Nooooooooo! *gack* MENOT died! Hmm...the darndest thing, I'm suddenly remembering the time I went to go see matt in Flame Version! Poor Matt...getting pushed away in a Flashflood like that...:< OH WELL! DEB walked down a PATH! SIGN appeared! Koush’s house ahead. Wow, this is easy. Almost too easy… DEB continued down the PATH! … … … What? No random battles? WHAT do you THINK this IS? Squaresoft Version? We can’t AFFORD to lose FIENDS! Aww..and I wanted the AP too. DEB arrived at KOUSH’s house! Looks like his door and windows fainted…oh noo KOUSHIE!! DEB runs in! BOSS appeared! BOSS: Mua ha ha! I shall now defeat you in a battle full of puns and excitement! No not puns and excitement!
WE NOW interupt this BATTLE! Hi folks. This is Comic. I bring you quality entertainment to you at a low low price of nothing each time. What a deal eh? Well, now it stops. And I mean it stops. I WILL be paid for this! I WILL not be wasting my life! You WILL click my banner ads! NARRATOR uses PROZAC on COMIC! Oh, thanks. Well, next time, on Digital Version, will be a whole new battle. Obviously...we now return to our regularly scheduled battle.
BOSS cries! BOSS: You're right! After all the love you've shown me, you're right. I know~ BOSS: Why did you care? That must've been the biggest fight ever but you still didn't kill me. ;_; You don't really need to die, plus, you're Koush. KOUSH: Right DEB and KOUSH walk off into the SUNSET! SUNSET fainted! Pretty stars~
Battle # 20: Twenty or Something January 07, 2001 Player: Comic-San
COMIC woke up! Man, I'm getting tired of waking up every battle...¬¬ TALK to YOURSELF, MR WEBMASTER SIR! Hmm..a subservient Narrator. I like it. But still, I want another character. COMIC goes onto IRC! | 19:34:21 | (Comic-San) Who wants to be the next Digital Character? >:D | 19:35:46 | (Andre) I wanna be a digital character~~~~ | 19:36:03 | (Valefor) me too :< | 19:36:20 | (Comic-San) hmm...I think Deb is in almost all my battles. :D | 19:36:23 | (Valefor) oh | 19:36:26 | (Valefor) hahe ^_^
Setting: Strawberry Fields Player: Andre
DEB: Strawberry Fields Forever~~~ Well...this is entertaining. DEB: Well, it was better when Toby did it. yes, well, Toby just r0xx0rz, doesn't he? DEB: Yes CUDDLYCAT appeared! CUDDLYCAT: Debbbie~~~ DEB: erinnn Well, this is nice and all, but I think I was supposed to be the character. NARRATOR wakes up! Oh, RIGHT! Wild MATT appeared! DEB: mattles~~ MATT: Well, this is better than what Kite was writing me as, at least. Wild Matt wants to FIGHT! MATT: I do? DEB: But I don't want to fight matt :< CUDDLYCAT: Awww. ......where's hell dude when you need him?
Setting: Hell Dude's house
HELLDUDE: I r so so lonley!!!111
Setting Strawberry Fields
Wild DITTO still wants to fight! DITTO: So, I'm a ditto now. o.o DEB: Well now you're more kawaii than a dead flareon! *huggle* CUDDLYCAT: I'll just be going now. hahahah CUDDLYCAT ran away! DEB: Aww. Hey...wasn't I the player? :( DEB: Eat Strawberries! THAT'S DEB'S answer for EVERYTHING! DEB: Lies. ANDRE uses his PBN attack! Ditto used... DITTO: I don't know my attacks, I 'm not used to being a ditto. BLAH! DITTO was renamed FLASHFIRE! FLASHFIRE: Better. PBN attack hits FLASHFIRE! FLASHFIRE gets lots of EMAILS in his INBOX! INBOX exploded! SHRAPNEL flew everywhere! DEB: Ow, my eye! Oi gleben... FLASHFIRE shrugs. FLASHFIRE: Mailer Daemon, I suppose. FLASHFIRE used FIRE BLAST! SHRAPNEL burned away! WOUNDS were CAUTERIZED! Well...now I have a cauterized missing arm. Why'd I even volunteer? :( NARRATOR feels extra MEAN today! FLASHFIRE: Well, at least your vocabulary is lacking. FLASHFIRE was swept off in a FLASHFLOOD! DEB: Bad Narrator. :< DEB was KIC-KIC-KIC-KIC... Come on with it man. I can't do IT! Well, this is the glorious life. DEB: Eat strawberries! Wait, WE ALREADY did that joke! ...eh...I think I'll quit while I'm ahead... ANDRE disappeared! Player: Deb wahoo~ I'm the player in Digital~ ^^ Wild TOBY appeared! I must watch out for it's PUN attack! TOBY says MOVE to NEW ZEALAND! Toby can I live in your closet? TOBY doesn't have a CLOSET! TOBY has a WARDROBE! You have lotsa clothes then huh? TOBY: ...No no, it's a place with a door where you keep clothes as long as I can have strawberries, I am fine DEB ran off with TOBY! What about SKYLER?
Setting: Moonlight Version
SKYLER: Deb? Hello? Anyone there? SKYLER: I r so lonley!!!!!11
Setting: New Zealand
Ooh they have a store named New World here! I wonder if they have Movius plushies~ TOBY: I world doubt it. DEB runs to TOBY'S house! TOBY: How fun.
Setting: TOBY'S HOUSE
(Alien_Gal) i just realized, if anyone in here was to stalk me i would be utterly screwed, all they would have to do would ask toby for his address go to his front door step, face the end of the drive then turn left by nienty degrees and they could see into my room o.o;;; Freaky. o_o TOBY: Don't mind her, she just a bit alienated. Will Deb like her new home? Will Alien become non-paranoid? Find out next time on Digital Version! Also, MrKite is now MrT. Kthx! http://members.aol.com/Andrevan/mrTkite.jpg
Battle # 19: Some- what? December 29, 2001 | 10:27:29 | (FinalRarrTactics) THE JESUS POTATOBABIES WILL DESTROY US ALL ... Alrighty Then..
Battle #19: Some- What NOW? | 10:27:57 | (Chargon) EVIL TRACKSTAR POTATOBABY JESUS ROBOTS Grah! I'm not going to be able to write this. ><
Ten minutes later...
Battle #19: Some- Hmm...I don't see anyone - Something's Up Player- Wah..lost my train of thought. I'll try this again later.
The next day...
Battle #19: Fish heads ...wait, that has nothing to do with the rest of the battle! x_X Try again... Battle #19: Trial and Error Eh...that'll do. Now...for a character. I know! Player: Webmaster (Comic-San) [Eh...Do you actually read this anyway?]
COMIC is so ORIGINAL! I know what's next! COMIC woke up! SUPRISE SUPRISE! ¬_¬;; Alrighty, now that I'm insane and in Japan, only one thing to do! What's THAT? Take over Japan of course! THAT didn't work in RUSTY VERSION, a PLACE you ALREADY owned! ...touche. DEB appeared! Random CAMEO! I seem to be having a lot of these. BTW: Crimson has been spying on you. DEB: Yah I know. I love CK though! :< CRIMSON appeared! CRIMSON: I hate you Deb. CRIMSON ran away! DEB: I looove you CK! DEB ran after CRIMSON! Hmm...that took a few lines. Not a bad cameo, all in all. GUILT appeared! Hm. This is new. GUILT roared loudly! Loud guilt. GUILT wants to fight! And so my crazy dream continues... Okay! You're on! Send out your pokemon! ...what? Since when do we use Pokemon? GUILT: Graa? Just do it! Ad paid for by Nike Shoes! ...alrighty. SSBM - Pokemon Stadium Theme plays! Ooh. Music. Must be a new Digital Version upgrade. GUILT roars more! Alright..alright..I'm fighting I'm fighting... COMIC sent out...out...uh.. You don't remember my pokemon. :/ Uh...that's not true! Yes it is. You mean Narrator. New on the job. Sheesh. Greenhorn. COMIC sent out MRKITE! Uh...when did I catch him? MRKITE: I don't appreciate this. Sorry, it's the Narrator's fault. MRKITE: Fine. GUILT send out DEPRESSION! MRKITE: Is this some sort of sick joke? NARRATOR nods! I can't believe this. DEPRESSION is destroyed! MRKITE: I feel so happy now! Like I could fly away~ MRKITE used FLY! MRKITE flew away...into A TREE! MRKITE: Ow. Moving right along... GUILT sent out NORESPECT! And I send out...? COMIC sent out MRBEAN! Dang...haven't seen that show in ages. NORESPECT threw RUBBERCHICKENS at BEAN! MRBEAN caught a RUBBERCHICKEN and started DANCING! o_o;; MRBEAN fainted! Low stamina. :/ Grarr. Now what kind of pokemon do I have? COMIC sent out RODNEYDANGERFIELD! No respect, I tell ya, no respect. Can't say I wasn't expecting it though. NORESPECT glares! RODNEYDANGERFIELD tells a joke! NORESPECT cracks up! And down! And right through the middle! NORESPECT fainted. Well that was weak. Wonder what's next. Probably something predicable and somewhat funny. GUILT send out MADNESS! Wrong again. That wasn't funny at all. Ha. Ha. Well, I guess you laugh at your own jokes too? I'm going to hold more Narration Auditions...Maybe Kirby wants one...he's pretty good. Hey! Wait! You're still fighting! Yeah yeah, short battle = no good, I know, I'm the webmaster remember? ...BATTLE continued! MADNESS exploded! That makes no sense! You might say it's complete and total Madness. Mrs Jackson appeared! ...this makes no sense! You said it was MADNESS! Mrs Jackson is sorry! She is for real! Never meant to make your daughter cry! I don't have a daughter. o.o Mrs Jackson: This isn't Storm, is it? Nope. Mrs Jackson: Sorry. MADNESS fainted! Finally... GUILT ran away! Hey! I wanted the EXP! Get back here! COMIC ran away! SHEEP: Pun? SHEEP ran after COMIC! EGOZILLA ran by! CHARGON ran by! CHARGON: Hold up, yo! You stole my b33r! You die now! And so the fight begins... To be continued! Will Chargon be successful? Will Egozilla prevail? Find out next time on the next episode of Digital: Chargon Wins. And don't forget: * MrKite is going to finally be a black man who tosses stuff - his life long dream.
(MrKite) I'll toss you heluva far, foo Battle #18: Round and Round We Go December 23, 2001 Player: Webmaster (Comic-San) [I don't even bother with win/loss, for I am immortal! I think.]
Uh...where am I? And why is the first line of my battles waking me up? I have such lovely dreams... COMIC is in a WORLD with no PC's OR VIDEO GAMES! Noooooooooooo! Kill me now! It's not worth living! COMIC tries to stab himself! It's not very effective... Darn Playskool Toy Knifes... JUST KIDDING! HAHAHAHAHAH! ...you're a mean one Mr. Grinch! I know, dontcha love it? Actually, no. In fact, you're fired. ...but...but...but.... No buts. NARRATOR starts crying! Ahhh! You're leaking! Stop crying! :< NARRATOR cries even LOUDER! COMIC! You're so mean! ...wha? YOU'RE SO INSENSITIVE! Gah? YOU'RE SUCH A JERK! Oro? COMIC NO BAKA! Uh oh. COMIC was PUNTED away! Yah ha hooie.....
Location: HELL...
Crap.
...dudE's house!
Even worse. COMIC ran away! hELL-dudE: wat! com bak her! I so lonly...
Location: Eh...I'll think of it later.
What kind of place is that? I'll think of it later! That was a bad joke...even for you. Or is that me? I'm talking to myself. x_X;; APPARANTLY!
Location: ALASKA
Brr...it's cold in here, must be some clovers in the atmosphere... WHAT? Eh...nevermind. DITTO36: REMEMBER THE ESKIMO! Dit? What are you doing here? DITTO36: Moo. Oh yeah, you're Dits. Almost forgot for a second there... DITTO36: REMEMBER THE ALAMO! DITTO36 and COMIC disappeared!
Location: The Alamo
...remember this? It's a dump. DITTO eats SKYLER! Moving right along...
Location: Deb's House
Crimson? What're you doing here? CRIMSON: Spying on Deb. Shhh. Why would you want to spy on Deb?!?! CRIMSON: Yeah...type...that's it...type.. Ewwwwww... COMIC ran away in DISGUST!
Location: New Zealand
New Zealand? I'm getting worse than Ryouga... VOICE FROM ARCHIVE: I heard that! ...This is scary. SHEEP: Pun. Hey! It's Toby! SHEEP: Pun. Waittasecond...that's that SHEEP that was following me! Darn your trickery! SHEEP's TRICKERY was turned into YARN! SHEEP played with a ball of YARN! A UFO flies by! Ahhh! Aliens! No! A Underfed Flying Ostrich! This gets wierder and wierder... Moving right along..
Location: Japan
COMIC faints! COMIC wakes up and rubs his eyes! I've died and gone to heaven... EGOZILLA runs by! CHARGON and KATE run by! ...No, I've only gone insane. Nutbunnies. In that case... COMIC runs off! SHEEP: Baa?
To be continued...sometime next week.
Hah! Like you'll update! Hey! I don't like your attitude! FIGHT ensues!
SHEEP: Feedback. JASON: Copycat! SALESMAN: Hello SIR! NARRATOR ran away!
Was there even a purpose to this battle? Shaddap. *ZAP* Hey...didn't I fire the Narrator? Oops.
|
Battle #17: O-vine, If That's The Way You Want It November 14, 2001
Player: Webmaster (Comic-San)
COMIC woke up!
Ah....that was nice...but I don't remember fainting...
SHEEP: PUN!
A sheep?
A SHEEP!
Crazy.
SHEEP: Puuun!
Toby deserves more respect than this. I mean, he should be drawn and quoted, not this. Who thought of this?
You did!
But I was asleep...
So?
Point.
SHEEP: Baa...I mean...PUN!
...alrighty then... come on sheep.
SHEEP jumps for JOY!
Somewhere, a NURSE JOY feels a little better!
¬¬;;
SETTING: COMIC'S NEW TOWER
I like towers.
SHEEP puns into the TOWER!
That meant he ran in, right?
Yepper.
Okay then. *ahem* Getbackheredon'tbreakanythingIjustboughtthatstuff!
COMIC runs into the TOWER!
BAM!
@_@ Veee..r...r..y....h-h-hi-hil-hil-funny.
COMIC falls to the ground!
COMIC crawls into the TOWER!
SETTING: INSIDE COMIC'S NEW TOWER
SHEEP: PUN! Puuuuun!
LADY: I thought sheep were supposed to say baa or something.
SHEEP shakes his head!
LADY: Okay then...
Hee..ee..yo...s...
COMIC appeared...slowly!
LADY: Ahh! Comic! What happened to you? Are you okay? Ah come here!!!!
M...m...om?
LADY was renamed MOM!
SHEEP: Mum. I mean...PUN!
MOM: What did I tell you about running into walls?
That they usually fight back?
MOM: Other than that.
That they're hard?
MOM: Other than that too.
Uh...I forget.
MOM: Exactly.
Wha?
MOM: Now now, don't be that way, let me heal you up.
COMIC was HEALED!
What? Since when do you know magic? And a better question, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY WEBSITE? ><
MOM explains that she was on the computer and pressed a key, and was sucked into the computer!
COMIC gasps!
THE PLOT TWISTS!
DRAMATIC music plays!
A SHEEP puns!
SHEEP: Pun!
You're not my mother!
MOM: Now now, what makes you think that?
My mother is very computer-illiterate! She couldn't use a keyboard to save her life! I guess you could call her digitally impaired.
SHEEP jumps at MOM!
SHEEP: PUN!
SHEEP rips off MOM'S MASK!
MOM was renamed AKU!
Aku? Hey, you're from the Old Archives! What're you doing here? I certaintly didn't write you in! This is an interesting plot twist.
THE PLOT TWISTS!
That's what I just said, fewl.
AKU: Exactly! You didn't even include me in the Digital Fanfic 1.0! I wanted revenge, so I hid in Yellow Version until I thought it was safe! I was going to take over Digital Version, if it wasn't for you and your meddling sheep!
Actually, that sheep isn't mine.
SHEEP: Pun!
But did you have to cross-dress to do it? I mean, ugh. *shudder*
AKU: It's not my fault I look good in a bikini!
Ugh...*shuddershudder*
SHEEP shudders punnily!
Punnily? Is that even a word? Err..I mean, *shudder*
COMIC and SHEEP are shuddering! SHUDDERSHUDDERSHUDDER!
AKU: Shudder up.
PLOT twists in half! PLOT died!
Well, tell me something I don't know!
SHEEP: PUN!
Good Idea! QUICK! 10ccs of pun, stat!
What? We're all out? SHEEP! To the pun cave!
COMIC pressed a button on the wall!
FLOOR used FALL!
Ahhhhh!
SHEEP: Puuuuun!
COMIC and SHEEP fall in front of a mIRC window!
Success! Now to log on...
AKU tries sneaking away!
Aku! Sit!
AKU sat!
Good boy.
| 19:07:16 | *** Now talking in #pokebattles
| 19:07:16 | *** Topic is '| Homepage: [www.pokebattles.com] | Channel Rules: [www.pokebattles.com/rules] | News: [http://digs.s5.com/n] | FAQ: [www.geocities.com/emerald_battles/mircfaq.htm] | It's official. Matt sounds like a mangled cat. | Today's Todo: Limbooooo~. '
| 19:07:16 | *** Set by Silence on Tue Nov 13 21:43:16
| 19:07:48 | (Comic-San) HELP SAVE PLOT! Everyone! PUN quickly!
| 19:07:57 | (SHEEP) Puuun!
| 19:08:18 | (MrKite) you don't need to draw anything I just need the words o_O;
| 19:08:31 | (MrKite) it doesn't matter, I need Mike for the new main banner anyway
| 19:08:54 | (MrKite) I forgot I needed that...
| 19:09:25 | (Comic-San) Obviously, this PLOT will not get it's 10cc's of PUN. Oh well. Farethee well PLOT.
| 19:09:37 | (MrKite) heh
| 19:09:55 | * Comic-San waves to the PLOT that twisted itself in half.
Well...what to do now? o_o
NARRATOR shrugs!
Well, I guess we COULD continue the battle.
Always a POSSIBILITY.
Or I could reveal the meaning of life, you see, the meaning of life is-
THIS BATTLE HAS BEEN INTERUPTED BY THE DIGITAL BROADCAST SIGNAL.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
HAD THIS BEEN AN ACTUAL TEST, WE WOULD NOT HAVE INTERUPTED COMIC.
I SEE! It's so simple!
Yep.
SHEEP: Pun...
Feedback....must eat feedback. Wait, did I say that out loud?
| 13:08:54 | (Jesus)i'm going to hell for this
(TobyM) "Well, I was going to hit the L key, and then my finger suddenly went WHAMMO into my head and fell down onto the A key, and then the other fingers started rebelling and hit the Q, the U, and the A, while my feet kept kicking me to keep me busy."
| 20:47:50 | (Silence) Still is sitting, still is sitting, up upon my chamber door. Quoth the Chargon, "I eat glass and it does not hurt me." Only this and nothing more.
*This site is dedicated to the victims of the WTC Disaster and their families.*
*Digital Version is (c)2001 to Dewan Haque, better known as Comic-San*
*Pokemon and all characters associated with the franchise are (c) 2001 Nintendo and GameFreak*
