USAa

" Hit the buildings, Missed America . . . . "

An open letter to a terrorist:

Well, you hit the World Trade Center, but you missed America. You hit the Pentagon, but you missed America. You used helpless American bodies, to take out other American bodies,
but like a poor marksman, you STILL missed America.

Why? Because of something you guys will never understand. America isn't about a building or two, not about financial centers, not about military centers, America isn't about a place, America isn't even about a bunch of bodies. America is about an IDEA. An idea, that you can go someplace
where you can earn as much as you can figure out how to, live for the most part, like you envisioned living, and pursue Happiness. (No guarantees that you'll reach it, but you can sure try!)

Go ahead and whine your terrorist whine, and chant your terrorist litany: "If you can not see my point, then feel my pain." This concept is alien to Americans. We live in a country where we don't have to see your point. But you're free to have one. We don't have to listen to your speech. But you're free to say one.

Don't know where you got the strange idea that everyone has to agree with you. We don't agree with each other in this country, almost as a matter of pride. We're a collection of guys that don't agree, called States. We united our individual states to protect ourselves from tyranny in the world.
Another idea, we made up on the spot. You CAN make it up as you go, when it's your country. If you're free enough.

Yeah, we're fat, sloppy, easy-going goofs most of the time. That's an unfortunate image to project to the world, but it comes of feeling free and easy about the world you live in. It's unfortunate too, because people start to forget that when you attack Americans, they tend to fight like a cornered badger. The first we knew of the War of 1812, was when England burned Washington D.C. to the ground. Didn't turn out like England thought it was going to, and it's not going to turn out like
you think, either. Sorry, but you're not the first bully on our shores, just the most recent.

No Marquis of Queensbury rules for Americans, either. We were the FIRST and so far, only country in the world to use nuclear weapons in anger. Horrific idea, nowadays? News for you bucko, it was back then too, but we used it anyway. Only had two of them in the whole world and we used 'em both. Grandpa Jones worked on the Manhattan Project. Told me once, that right up until they threw the switch, the physicists were still arguing over whether the Uranium alone would fission, or whether it would start a fissioning chain reaction that would eat everything. But they threw the switch anyway, because we had a War to win. Does that tell you something about American Resolve?

So who just declared War on us? It would be nice to point to some real estate, like the good old days. Unfortunately, we're probably at war with random camps, in far-flung places. Who think they're safe.
Just like the Barbary Pirates did, IIRC. Better start sleeping with one eye open.

There's a spirit that tends to take over people who come to this country, lookingfor opportunity, looking for liberty, looking for freedom. Even if they misuse it. The Marielistas that Castro emptied out of his prisons, were overjoyed to find out how much freedom there was. First thing they did when they hit our shores, was run out and buy guns. The ones that didn't end up dead, ended up in prisons. It was a big PITA then (especially in south Florida), but you're only the
newest PITA, not the first.

You guys seem to be incapable of understanding that we don't live in America, America lives in US! American Spirit is what it's called. And killing a few thousand of us, or a few million of us, won't change it. Most of the time, it's a pretty happy-go-lucky kind of Spirit. Until we're crossed in a cowardly manner, then it becomes an entirely different kind of Spirit.

Wait until you see what we do with that Spirit, this time. Sleep tight, if you can. We're coming.

September 11, 2001

Dear Taliban, Mr. Bin Laden, Mr. Arafat, and Mr. Hussein, et al:

We are pleased to announce that we unequivocally accept your challenge
to an old-fashioned game of whoop-ass. Now that we understand the rule
that
there are no rules, we look forward to playing without them for the first
time. Since this game is a winner-take-all, we unfortunately are unable to
invite you to join us at the victory celebration. But rest assured that we
will toast you -- LITERALLY.

While we will admit that you are off to an impressive lead, it is however
now our turn at the plate. By the way, we will be playing on your diamond
now...
Batter up! Our team line up is as follows:
    Manager ~ George W. Bush
    Ass't Manager ~ Dick Cheney
    Head Coach ~ Colin Powell
    Assistant Coach ~ Donald Rumsfeld
    Starting Pitcher ~ Norman Schwartzkoff
    1st Base ~ U. S. Marine Corps
    2nd Base ~ U. S. Navy
    3rd Base ~ U.S. Air Force
    Shortstop and clean up hitter ~ U. S. Army
    Outfield ~ Firemen and Policemen
    Umpire ~ None Required
            * remember - the manager told you there'll be no discussion;
no negotiation!
    Pinch hitters as needed ~
            U.S. Navy SEALS
            U.S. Army Green Berets
            U.S. Army Rangers
            U.S. Air Force PJs
            Delta Force
And, since there are no rules, we've decided to add:
    4th Base ~ United Kingdom
    5th Base ~ Russia
    6th Base ~ China
    Other Bases (as desired) ~ Pakistan, Japan, Germany, France, Spain,
Italy, 'Turkistan and lots of other ...stans' and more.

Opening Ceremonies:
    Vocal 1: Celine Dion ~ The Star Spangled Banner
    Vocal 2: Lee Greenwood ~ God Bless The U.S.A.
    Vocal 3: Neil Diamond ~ Comin' To America
    Vocal 4: Bruce Springstein ~ Born In The U.S.A.
    Vocal 5: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir ~ Battle Hymn of the Republic

You may choose whoever you want for your team ... it won't really matter
(even if you all shave), our guys are gonna win!!!
Sincerely,
On behalf of the 270,000,000 citizens of the United States of America

P.S. May we recommend at this time that you give your soul to Allah;
'cause
your ass is ours!
Goodbye