What is a Partner? By: Kathryn Laidlaw

 

"I hate working with Ann. She is so slow and has no ki." "Well I hate working with Serge. He is always telling me what to do and he hits too hard." Does this sound familiar? This conversation took place in a changeroom after a recent class, but it could have been any dojo or club changeroom. This is a conversation that we often repeat or is heard by each of us. Nevertheless, do we really know what we are talking about?

Our unique aspect of Martial Arts is partner work. However, most of us do not really know what a partner can offer or how to make the most of these situations. Some of us labour under the impression that the best partner is the individual who is perfect at the art we are practicing or at least better than ourselves. This person is also much larger than us with amazing flexibility and, with very little effort, can pull a parked bus 30 metres with a chain wrapped around his waist. This is often who we compare our partners to. Of course this person does not exist.

If you look in the mirror, you will find your best partner. However we cannot work with ourselves. The person that appears across from you on the dojo floor when you are told to pair up is also a reflection of yourself. Use this reflection to the best of your ability. If your partner is weak make them stronger by your power. If your partner is shorter than you, make them taller by deepening your stance. If your partner does not understand the technique help them understand by perfecting the technique yourself. If your partner isn't concentrating give them focus by your own concentration. Pass your manner on to them. You are entrusting your lives to each other. Their weakness is your weakness. You must work on it together.

Well that is about the ZEN of it, but what does this mean in practical terms? How do we achieve this way of thinking? The main reason for partner work is to practice a technique with someone. With all techniques come three areas of concentration. They are focus, timing and rhythm. To achieve this, you must work you partner. You have to give focus, timing and rhythm to your partner to receive it back. It is really a give/take situation. Often we expect to have proper manner given to us. Do we always give it back?

One must respect your partner's situation. For instance, if you are working with a partner who is less experienced than you, teach them by example. We tend to talk too much about a technique. Let's face it. Most martial arts are taught by demonstration. Do the same with your partner. Let your partner practice the technique. Do not tell them about it. Let them experience it. Another aspect of respect concerns your own attitude. Like bad attitude the situation will never improve. Face all your partners with a positive attitude. Learning and being taught is not just the sole domain of the sensei. The martial artist learns from everyone, that is those who are better than the artist and those the artist is better than.

This brings us to the most important point. Partners can be male, female, tall, short, thin, or fat. A partner can be physically challenged. These are attributes that can also be found in a real life opponent. A physical ideal does not exist for a partner. The martial artist relies on the mental edge. The ideal partner has spirit, determination and manner. The ideal partner is standing across from you.