Artist:
Eminem
Album: The Marshall Mathers LP
Song: The Real
Slim Shady
- May
I have your attention please?
- May
I have your attention please?
- Will
the real Slim Shady please stand up?
- I
repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
- We're
going to have a problem here
-
- (Verse
1)
-
- Ya'll
act like you never seen a white person before
- jaws
all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
- started
whoopin her ass worse than before
- they
first get divorced throwing her over furniture (scream)
- It's
the return of the
- "Oh
wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did
- he?"
- And
Dr Dre said
- ....Nothing
you idiots Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha)
- Feminist
women love Eminem
- Chicka
chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
- look
at him, walking around grabbing his you know what
- limpin'
to you know who "yeah, but hes so cute though"
- Yea
I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
- but
no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms
- Sometimes
I wanna get on TV and just let loose,
- but
can't, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
- my
bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
- and
if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
- and
that's the message that we deliver to little kids
- and
expect them not to know what a womens clitoris is.
- Of
course they gonna know what intercourse is
- by
the time they hit 4th grade,
- they
got the discovery channel don't they?
- We
ain't nothing but mammals; well some of us cannibals
- who
cut other people open like cantaloupes.
- But
if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
- then
there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
- But
if you feel like I feel I got the antidote.
- Women
wave your panty hoes, sing the chorus and it goes...
-
- (Chorus)
-
- I'm
Slim Shady
- Yes
I'm the real Shady
- All
you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
- So
won't the real Slim Shady...
- Please
stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
- becuase
I'm Slim Shady
- Yes
I'm the real Shady
- All
you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
- So
won't the real Slim shady...
- Please
stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
-
- (Verse
2)
-
- Will
Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
- Well
I do, so fuck him and fuck you too.
- You
think I give a damm about a Grammy?
- Half
of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
- "But
Slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird?"
- Why?
So you guys can just lie to get me here?
- So
you can sit me here next to Britney Spears.
- Shit,
Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
- So
I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
- And
hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first.
- Little
bitch put me on blast on MTV
- "yeah
he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe"
- I
should download her audio on mp3
- And
show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. (scream)
- I'm
sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
- So
I've been sent here to destroy you
- And
theres a million of us just like me
- Who
cuss like me
- Who
just don't give a fuck like me
- Who
dress like me
- Walk,
talk and act like me
- It
just might be the next best thing
- But
not quite me
-
- (chorus)
-
- (Verse
3)
-
- I'm
like a headtrip to listen to
- Cause
I'm only giving you
- things
you joke about with your friends inside your living room
- The
only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll
- And
I don't gotta be false or sugar coated at all
- I
just get on the mic and spit it
- And
whether you like to admit it (rip)
- I
just shit it better than 90% of you rappers out there
- Then
you wonder how can kidz eat up these albums like valiums.
- Its
funny cuz at the rate im going when I'm 30
- Ill
be the only person in the nursing home flirty.
- Pinching
nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens and I'm jerking
- But
this whole bag of viagra isn't working
- And
every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'
- He
could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings
- Or
in the parking lot circling
- screaming
I don't give a fuck
- With
his windows down and system up
- So
will the real Shady, please stand up
- and
put one of those fingures on each hand up
- and
to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
- and
one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
-
- (chorus)