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Hallmark Rejects
The cards you will never see at Hallmark....
- My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry!
- Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me.
- Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder? What the f**k was I thinking?
- Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband.
- How could two people as beautiful as you... Have such an ugly baby?
- I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you ... I've changed my mind.
- I must admit, you brought Religion into my life... I never believed in Hell till I met you.
- As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me.
- Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go ... would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.
- Someday I hope to get married . but not to you.
- Happy birthday! You look great for your age... Almost Lifelike!
- When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
- We have been friends for a very long time... what say we stop?
- I'm so miserable without you ... it's almost like you're here.
- Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?
- Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep.
- Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky and West Virginia)
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