Alpha Male
Clinton, Hillary, Democracy, Cooperative Commonwealth, Timothy Dexter, Mobolobocrazy, Al Gore, Fable, Forgotten Man, Tocqueville, Art of Gulling, Hucksters, Cornerstones, W. C. Brann, Sniveling, Curmudgeon, LMNOP, Directory
******

In search of the Alpha Male!

****

Al Gore is a model for the perfect alpha male, or is he?

Then Vice President Albert Gore, read a book on what constitutes an alpha male and decided to become one. The rules as he understands them:

1) Exude sex. Since George W. has two children and he has four, AG must be more virile. Look how the press ate up his staged kiss.

2) Take charge. Finding Jim Lehrer a pushover in moderating the debates, he exerted himself. At one point, correcting Mr. Lehrer, but since alpha males can sometimes be forgiving, corrected himself and permitted the question to be assigned as scheduled.

3) Ignore the rules. Rules previously established were made to be violated by the alpha male, he saw no reason to relinquish the debate floor after his allotted time. And if he wanted to ask the questioner in the audience a question, or George W. for that matter; why not? After all he's an alpha male.

4) Intimidation He entered into George W's space with awe inspiring vigor, why oh why didn't W cut and run?

5) Exude youthful vigor. Dash from the plane, podium, or whatever to impress the audience of how full of it you are.

6) Be a part of the little people. Dress in a casual shirt, use folksy terms, let just the right amount of Tennessee twang be found in you voice.

7) Inspire fear. Tell the masses how only the alpha male has the answers to the Nation's problems, and the dastardly Republicans are going to take away Grandma's pension, etc.

8) Pander. After all you are only talking, no need to worry about actually delivering what you promise.

9) Ignore your elders. Trying to separate himself from Bill Clinton, he ignored the tried and true methods of Clinton.

10) Lie. Tell how you worked on the "farm", invented the Internet, etc., People will soon forgive and forget.

Mr. Gore's mother's surely taught him good manners and that a school yard bully gets no respect; but it was wasted on him in his search to be the alpha male. How sad!

As he prepares himself for the rematch against President Bush, he will surely revisit these characteristics to remodel himself as the perfect candidate.

*****

Joe Wortham's Home Page , About Joe Wortham , Directory

Questions? Comments? [email protected]

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1