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So said the smart talk back in 1919.
For an out-of-work lawyer pickings were lean.
For clients; some local fishermen
Had their day in court, once again.
Tho th' lawyer served without recompense
He needed to prove to the judge their innocence
.
Not guilty was the verdict to be won
Of fishing during the closed season.
These six young commercial fishermen
Were known to sell fish through thick and thin.
They had been caught fair and square
And summoned before the judge to appear.
It could not be disputed
That the fishermen had mullet netted.
And that the season for catching
Had closed before their going fishing.
As an aside. Many's the time they had treated
The lawyer to a fine meal of mullet they had netted.
So it was that the lawyer paid close attention
To cleaning in the mullet's preparation.
To the casual observer, a fish is a fish.
But mullet are not like other fish.
For one, they are mostly caught in seines or nets
As they are difficult to catch on a hooks to be set.
They are bottom feeders mostly on grass and morsels
Such as small oysters, snails, and mussels.
And because of their appetite for what they find,
They have a gizzard; by nature designed to grind.
We return to the courtroom of the Judge
Where the game officers refused to budge.
So in providing his defense,
The Lawyer placed the judge on the fence.
He asked the Judge, a question hard;
"Do other fish have a gizzard?"
And answered his own question;
"Don't think so." Ask anyone.
To the Game Warden's surprise,
On this the case rested, which was most wise.
The Judge considered; Only one other species
To his mind had a gizzard and they aren't fishies.
He recessed the court and went to the grocery store,
Where in the poultry section he found galore,
Fresh chicken; whole and in parts,
Plus chicken livers, gizzards and hearts.
It was obvious that the mullet was a relative
To chickens, turkeys, duck and other avi.
The Judge so ruled that mullet are fowl
And therefore catching mullet he would allow.
"Of course a higher court must decide,
If mullet can be caught on th' tide,
During lent, which is the season
When only fish should be eaten."
"Not guilty of violating Florida's fishing laws."
It was decreed in this Court of Laws.
At the next mullet fry, you can safely bet,
The judge was there with appetite wet.
In a small community,
All are included with impunity
Even Judges; and Game Wardens
Tho, don't have that many friends.
Our Florida elected officials often are seen as being without any redeeming value. Some have a talent beyond that of knowing how to get re-elected. And I suppose as they"do no harm", we can afford the luxury of their occasional lapses of good behavior.
The stories of Tampa attorney, Pat Whitaker's ability as a trial lawyer are legend in Florida. He could mesmerize a jury. Other lawyers would crowd around the courtroom whenever Whitaker argued a case, and they watched in amazement.
Whitaker started his law practice in 1916. But his first big case came in Tampa in 1919, when he convinced a judge that a mullet was a fowl and not a fish. While Whitaker enjoyed a highly successful career as a trial lawyer, this may have been his finest hour.
This tale helps to keep the "Old" Florida alive and safe from the reach of those whose vision is limited by the reach of their pocketbook. The article on which this poem is based was published in the Sarasota Herald Tribune November 24, 1998.
Vernon Peeples a historian, long time Charlotte County resident and a former seven-term member of the Florida House of Representatives was given credit as the author of the piece by the newspaper.
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