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Selected material from George Packwood's book The Goldfinch's Nest. In which his use of humor to practice the four E's of advertising: Excite, Entertain, Educate, and End. In Packwood's Crown he offered the reader an half Crown if he would only buy the Goldfinch's Nest. In Packwood's Distress he leads entertains the reader with a tale of woe, and in these assorted selections he continually promotes his products to the good humor of the reader.
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TRUE BRITON, March 19, 1796
Packwood's New String of Conundrums.
Why is a dull Razor like a famished man?
Because he wants a whet.
Why is Packwood's Paste unlike the stocks?
Because it never falls, but always rises in the public opinion.
Why is Packwood's Strop unlike the present lottery?
Because every purchaser draws a prize.
Why is a person that has been shaved with a blunt-edged razor like another on the brink of marriage?
Because each wishes the business over.
Why is the inventor himself like a clergyman?
Because he is never out of orders.
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TOWN and COUNTRY HERALD, May 14, 1796
Mr. PACKWOOD.
Sir,
The celebrity of your New Invented Strops, induces me to send the following Parody of Hamlet's Soliloquy, which I trust you will think worth the postage.
"To shave, or not to shave? That is the question." � Whether �tis better for a man to suffer the grisly beard to grow upon his chin, or cut it off at once? To shave with ease, to clear the stubbled face � �Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. � To shave with ease; to shave! Perchance to tear; aye, there's the rub; pluck them by the roots, or checked turn inward on the tender flesh: then trickles down the blood, and the sharpe pain smarting the face, make cowards of us all.-- But who would bear these rubs and ghastly cuts, when he himself might his quietus make with Packwood's New Invented Strop. Hail London Town! Hail Gracechruch-Street! And No. 16, Hail! That makes my healthful face both clean and fair.
A. S.
Davizes, May 5, 1796.
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TIMES, June 1, 1796
On the great Fall of the Price of Wheat in the Spring of the Year 1796.
Lately, a FARMER chanc'd to pop
His Head into a barber's shop,
Begg'd to be shav'd; it soon was done,
When Strop (inclin'd oft times to fun,)
Doubling the price he'd ask'd before,
Instead of two-pence made it four ;
The Farmer said, "You sure must grant,
Your charge is most exorbitant:"
Not so � (quoth STROP) I'm right, and you are wrong,
For since wheat fell, your face is twice as long.
Hanbury, Oxfordshire May 24, 1796.
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So that the owner of a razor, strop and paste will know how to best use them, Packwood provided at the end of the book, directions on how to prepare the strop, and razor and how to shave. (Sweet oil, referred to in his directions may be neatsfoot oil, an oil derived from the feet of cattle (aka, neat), and known for its ability to soften and preserve leather(?).)
DIRECTIONS
The Strop acts by virtue of a Paste: by taking a lump between your fingers, it may be rubbed on the Strop, or spread very thin, with a strong knife every three months, or oftener, if required, on the sealed side (only,) the same as you would a plaster, the thinner it is spread the better, for that it is all covered and left very smooth; it is fit for use the next day, and the good effect will
ASTONISH
the most incredulous in admiration; if dry, one drop of sweet oil rubbed on both sides with the finger will be found very useful; to strop your Razor. Lay it flat, and press it close on the seal side, and draw it a few times on each side of the Razor from heel to point, and from one end of the Strop to the other, (if dull, ten or a dozen times, or oftener if required) and you will find a fine sharp (though not a wiry) edge; and a few strokes on the other side of the Strop afterwards will bring your Razor to a fine smooth edge. When you shave, dip your Razor in hot water, and lay it flat on your face, and bear very light; for, such is the virtue of this Strop, it gives the Razor so sharp an edge, that if you press the Razor too hard on your face it will have quite a contrary effect.
The Proprietor himself has stropped a notch out of his own common six-penny knife, and shaved himself dry (through a hard beard) without a lather, much cleaner and smoother than he had done for many years back.
To give you a faint idea, permit the Proprietor to observe, that a diamond or flint will cut glass, and this Strop will have as powerful an effect on steel by way of polishing.
Gentle Reader � if your patience is not exhausted in perusing the different serious and comic, prosaic, and poetic advertisements on the good properties of Razor Strops, and you have a desire for further information � by referring to the Tatler,, by Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. In 12 mo. No. 224, there you may find Strops for Razors advertised with much more violence."
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Which follows the names of those appointed for sale of Packwood's Razor Strops and Paste, and Goldfinch's Nest.
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And a bit of clever marketing ends the Goldfinches's Nest with the following:
Who drew the Plate in the front of this book?
I, says the Engraver,
Who was the Engraver?
I, says the Copper-Plate Printer.
Who was the Printer?
I, says the ------- stop and read.
Now critics, no doubt, will find out a flaw,
A juvenile hand, nam'd A Walk-n-show,
In Finch Lane, Cornhill, he lives tis true,
And will for de pay do as much for you.
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So Packwood the promoter to the very end, advertised the copper-plate maker's talents; no doubt in exchange for services rendered. And so we come to �
FINIS.
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