Battle #18: Tim-ber!
Player name:
The Tree [No Record]

Wow.  The thrilling life of a tree.  Wa-hoo.
GUARD wants to know what you're doing here!
What's that supposed to mean?
GUARD says he is supposed to clear the AREA of all UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL!
Well if you couldn't tell, smart guy, I'm not personnel.
GUARD says you are UNAUTHORIZED!
But I've been growing here for 40 years!  Why haven't you noticed me before?
This is the first day the GUARD has actually done his job!
Typical security guard...
GUARD sent out AX!
Hey!  You're not choping me down without a fight!
GUARD wants to fight!
That's better.
Go! BRANCH!
AX used CHOP!
Missed!
BRANCH used SHAKE!
Acorns scattered everywhere!
GUARD is confused!
It hurt itself in it's confusion!

Woah, he put that ax right through his own head!  Finally, some justice for the trees!
GUARD died!
Yeah, i could see that.  His brains are splattered all over my roots.
GUARD used PHOENIX DOWN!
GUARD became PHOENIX!

First the weeds, now this guy...it seems like all my enemies grow back these days.
PHOENIX sent out PHOENIX!
PHOENIX used NEST!
PHOENIX NESTED on the BRANCH!

Lousy buzzard, get out my branches!
BRANCH used SHAKE!
PHOENIX EGGS scattered everywhere!

Weird, how did he lay all those legs so fast?  And if he's a he, how did he lay any eggs at all??
PHOENIX is ANGRY!
Watch your temper around me, buddy, you're talkin' to one of the almighty trees here.
PHOENIX said DOOMPUFF is stronger than you!
Ha!  That lightweight couldn't snap my skinniest branch if he tried for a week!
DOOMPUFF appeared!
Uh...what I meant to say was, Doompuff is totally unstoppable!  There's no way I could beat him!
DOOMPUFF disappeared!
PHOENIX used EGG BOMB!

Don't you think that attack is a little overused?
PHOENIX EGGS scattered everywhere!
Don't you think that expression is a little overused?
It's super effective!
Don't you think--- wait, this line is becoming overused, isn't it?
BRANCH fainted!
Now that I think of it, I'm more overused than anything, except for maybe that glory-stealing Doompuff.
DOOMPUFF appeared!
Heh heh...glory-stealing Doompuff?  No, I said gory-eaten Doompuff victims...I was just praising your marvelous work, your heighness...
DOOMPUFF disappeared!
Okay, I think I should watch my mouth from now on.
Go!  VINES!
VINES used VINE WHIP!
PHOENIX is tangled!

Actually Vine Whip can't do that, but I'm in no position to complain.
VINES's attack continues!
That's just poor English, Nintendo should fire their translators.
PHOENIX fainted!
VINES gained 37 exp.!

Looks like this battle is over.  Hey, why am I always talking to myself when I'm fighting?
PHOENIX rose from the ashes!
PHOENIX is crawling away!

Can't you just die already??
TREE has an idea!
TREE used POKEBALL!
PHOENIX was caught!

Yes, this Phoenix is just the beginning of my Pokemon arsenal.  Soon I will collect hundreds, and reclaim my position as the most powerful figure in Pokebattles from that stupid, rabid little... uh...you-know-who.

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