Battle #7: Time Trouble
Player Name: Leonardo DaVinci [No Record]

Just connect the defibiltron to the laxinatrix there, and..it's finished!  According to my insanely brilliant blueprints, I've just built the world's second time machine!  (And soon to be first time machine, if this thing works right!)
THOMAS appeared!
Thomas, my faithful assistant!  Look what I've finished while you were out of town.
THOMAS wants to know what a TIME MACHINE is!
Don't you ever listen?  I've been talking about it every day for ten years!
THOMAS has been out of town for ten years!
Oh...that he has, that he has.  Well, Thomas, to answer your question, a time machine allows you to move backwards in time to any point in history.
THOMAS: Why does it only go to the past?
Well, I didn't see much point in making it go to the future, since we're always heading that direction anyway.
THOMAS: But what happens if you want to return to the present without waiting several lifetimes?
Don't be stupid, Thomas. No matter when you are, you'll always be in your own present!
THOMAS: Oh, well...I guess...uh...say that again?
Oh, quit crying and get in the machine!  I'll operate the controls from outside.
THOMAS: But what if I never see my friends and family again?
I can see you're nervous about testing this.  Don't worry!  The chances of instant death from materializing inside a solid object are only 8.3%.
LEO kicked THOMAS inside the TIME MACHINE!
Come to think of it, I never double-checked that percentage...oh well, I'm sure it'll be fine!  Say hello to the year 75,000 B.C. for me, Tom!
TIME MACHINE is activated!
THOMAS vanished!
Wow, that was...very boring.  Why the hell did I make this stupid machine anyway?
GOGALON vanished!
Say what?
TOBLAR vanished!
Hey, I know who's doing this!  He's in the past, altering the future in order to get back at me for stranding him there!  Why, if he wasn't dead for thousonds of years, I'd mess him up.
DWEED vanished!
Okay, my inventions are disappearing forever, and it's really pissing me off now.  Time to get rough.
LEO invented ATOM BOMB!
I'm sure this is a perfectly safe thing to do.
LEO put ATOM BOMB in TIME MACHINE!
Too bad I can't ride it there...
ATOM BOMB vanished!
TIME MACHINE vanished!
What?  LEO is evolving!

Ow!  Oh, my spleen...ouch!  Evolution is painful!  I can see why Da Evolution Man's Pikachu doesn't want to go through this.
LEO evolved into BILE DEMON!
It seems my bomb had a rather adverse side-effect...it turned the human race into a bunch of grotesquely obese monsters!  Still, the nipple rings are cool, right?

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