Do these questions sound familiar to you? "Who am I?" "Where do I fit in?" "Am I cool?" Millions of young American Muslims ask themselves these questions everyday. And why shouldn�t they? We all live in a society that measures success by what kind of car we drive, how attractive we are, and how much we know about Hollywood and sports. What role models are out there for American teens? Can we count on Britney Spears and Kobe Bryant to guide our youth toward the straight path? Of course we can�t, although the executives at Pepsi and Sprite (Spears� and Bryant�s two biggest sponsors) would like us to believe otherwise.
To understand how to educate and guide our youth to the straight path, we must first understand the challenges they face and alternatives they seek. In preparation for this article, I thought about what I wanted American Muslim readers, both the youth and their parents, to gain from this article. For the youth, it is important they know that there are other young Muslims who feel the same as they do. And for parents, it is essential to understand the inner struggle their children endure as they try to resist the temptations of this society.
Several youth were asked about the challenges they face in this country and how they overcame them. Those interviewed were first asked what they felt was the biggest challenge for them. Many felt that peer pressure and the need to fit in were their greatest obstacles.
Farhan, a high school sophomore, said, "The biggest challenge is wanting to fit in with the crowd. You see all the popular kids, and you feel like you want to hang out with them because they�re cool. But you don�t, because you know that what they do is wrong."
Maisa, 18, further described the inner conflict. "You feel like you�re weird and they�re normal."
Ali, 16, said that peer pressure was his biggest challenge at first, but later it changed: "The struggle now is with myself. It�s knowing my own limits and controlling myself. In this society, there are no boundaries, so you have to limit yourself. I have a broader understanding of what my purpose is, so I am not worried about what other people think."
One youth interviewed said that behaving like a good Muslim is her biggest challenge. Sumaya, a senior in high school, said, "Because I am surrounded by non-Muslims, I have to remind myself that I am not like everyone else. I cannot act like them. Because I wear hijab and have an Islamic appearance, people have expectations. I go beyond their expectations. But I don�t do it for the people, I do it for myself."
When asked which grade was the most difficult in school, as far as facing temptations, most of the interviewed said that eighth and ninth grades were the most challenging. Hania, 18, shared why the ninth grade was tough: "I didn�t know who I really was. I didn�t know how to act. If I did something, I didn�t know if it was part of my personality or if I was being influenced by my friends."
Maisa also felt that the transition from junior high to high school was the toughest. "Peer pressure at this time is the highest. During the early teens, everyone tries to act older. You don�t have experience or knowledge, so it�s easy to believe what anyone says. It�s easy to fall into the trap of following the crowd."
Farhan shared a similar viewpoint: "Around the eighth grade, you start to change. Your friends start to change. You want to do what they�re doing, but you know it�s wrong."
All those interviewed were also asked whom they associate with at school. Almost all said they "hang around" Muslims at least part of the time because they feel they can be themselves. Maisa said she spends her time with Muslim friends because, "with non-Muslims, you feel awkward. You feel like doing or saying things you normally wouldn�t. You start to think that what they say or do is okay and you begin to accept it. With Muslim friends, you don�t conform to what you know is not right."
Ali said he associates with both Muslim and non-Muslim friends. However, he said, �"y closest friends are Muslims. When you surround yourself with Muslim friends, it makes it easier because you�re on the same page."
Hania also said she spends time with both Muslims and non-Muslims. "I feel closer to my Muslim friends. I can relate to them and can say whatever I feel. But with my other friends, I still stand up for my beliefs. I don�t try to blend in. My attitude is � either you accept me or not. This is the way I am."
Sometimes students don�t find it easy to make a connection with other Muslim students at school. Juweria, 20, said, "In high school it was easier to hang out with non-Muslims because most of the Muslims were new from other countries. In college, there are a larger variety of people. I learn so much more from my Muslim friends now. From my non-Muslim friends I learned about what your parents don�t want you to do. With these friends, I learn about Islam."
Sumaya had a mixed response in regards to Christian and Muslim friends. "I used to attend a Christian school. There, my friends used to remind me to pray. I felt they were open-minded. It�s totally the opposite with my Muslims friends who are not always practicing. If I am out with my friends and we miss a prayer, my friends would just say, �Oh, its okay. We�re at the mall." Despite the lack of support towards prayer, overall Sumaya feels, "Of course, my Muslim friends are still better."
When asked what keeps these youth away from society�s temptations, a variety of responses were given. For Asal, a college sophomore, the answer is in the Hereafter. "Heaven is what I am looking forward to. When faced with temptations, I remember what my main goal is."
Ali turns to prayer for support. "Staying regular in my prayers keeps me mentally on track."
When asked the same question, Farhan replied, "Muslim friends, my religion, and my Iman (faith) keep me away from sin. I know that drinking and doing drugs is against my religion and is a sin. I think to myself, �I can�t do this. Why should I risk my beliefs just to fit in?�"
Maisa told American Muslim, "being involved with the Muslim Student Association and with the Muslim youth group at the mosque helps me stay focused. Being with other Muslims makes me realize that we are the norm and we should stick to it. Everyone is at your level, so you don�t feel different."
Juweria shared a similar viewpoint. "At Muslim activities, you find people who are in a similar situation as you. Like people who wear hijab and are from here. You realize you are not alone in this."
Along with trying to keep themselves on the straight path, these youth also carry the responsibility of representing Islam properly to others. All of those interviewed have given da�wa (spreading the truth about Islam) at their work or school. Immediately after the unfolding of events on September 11, 2001, many young Muslims were asked about their religion by their peers.
Hania said, "People at school were all very curious. They would hear wrong things about Islam and ask me, �Do you really believe in this?�"
Sumaya felt she received a lot of positive attention after September 11th. "I expected a negative reaction, but I got the opposite response. My teachers told me to report any racist or anti-Islamic remarks made to me. Even one woman from the attendance office told me she was sorry about what was happening to �my people.�"
To gain more insight on challenges faced by young Muslims, I asked a brother who is no longer a "youth," but is now an active member of the Muslim community to reflect on his past. Like those interviewed, this brother was also raised in the United States and faced all the obstacles mentioned above. However, he did not meet the challenges with the success that these youth described. Instead of steering away from society�s temptations, he drove into it with full speed.
It has been 10 years since this brother re-embraced Islam. I asked him what might have prevented him from going astray and he replied, "A strong mentor at the masjid � an older youth who was into Islam with whom I could discuss issues and problems. I couldn�t do this with my parents because they didn�t have an understanding of this society and its pitfalls."
When asked what advice he would give to the young, he said, "always surround yourself with good Muslims." For parents, he advises, "First, live as a Muslim. Second, always keep your child involved with the Muslim community and its activities. And third, don�t overlook a negative change in dress or behavior and think it�s just a phase. Spend time with your children and make sure you know what they are doing everyday."
From the thoughts of those interviewed above, we can come to three important conclusions. First, we must acknowledge the fact that young Muslims are pressured by their peers to succumb to the temptations of this society. Secondly, it is natural for young teens to go through a period of instability as they try to find their place among their peers. Finally, and most importantly, having a positive alternative is instrumental to staying on the straight path. These alternatives include � Muslim activities, Muslim friends, prayer, etc.
As long as parents and youth acknowledge challenges and work together to face them, the future for Islam in America will be bright, Insha�Allah.