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Shoshy Shophrony | ||
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Dreams, that changed my life
How I came to Ramana Maharshi, or more proper, how Ramana Maharshi came to my life. |
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I was born in Hungary into a warm loving family. At the age of sixteen I
lost my parents and my only sister in the Holocaust. I got married very
young and in 1949 we emigrated to Israel. My husband and I built a new life,
new family.
I began my yoga training in 1969 with Swami Venkatesananda. I learned hatha - yoga, (physical yogic exercises) and raja - yoga, the spiritual and philosophical part with meditation. I loved my teacher very much and he inspired me to become a yoga teacher myself. Indeed, I continue to teach yoga to this very day. In the course of time I left behind the physical part and I now teach only the spiritual yogic approach of life with meditation and self-enquiry in voluntary work. On a beautiful afternoon of the summer of the year 1972 things began to happen: the very first dream, unexpected and surprising. I was lying on the hot sand at the seashore , near Tel Aviv ,with my husband and our two sons. I fell asleep and dreamt that I was an Indian boy walking down the street with my Indian mother. I asked her to send me to school, but she explained that we were poor and we had no money for school. Suddenly my mother stopped and pointed at an old man walking in the opposite direction. She said to me: �Run my son, run to him, because he can teach you far more than you could ever learn in any school.� And so I did, I ran after the old man. Hearing my heavy breathing, the old man stopped, looked at me with a warm, loving glance and put his hand on my head. That was it! I woke up finding myself with my family beside the sea. Everything seemed extremely strange, but, as life�s rhythm is very fast, the swimming, going home, preparing and eating lunch, talking - all these - caused the unusual dream to fade somewhat. After lunch I went to bed for a siesta and immediately fell asleep. The whole dream appeared before me again, exactly as the first time, as if seeing the same cinema film twice. Now I became tremendously impressed, but hardly understood what the dream came to reveal. That was the beginning. From that day on I continued to dream about the loving old man without any idea who he might be, and so I referred to him as my old uncle. The man, my old uncle, came to my dreams teaching, advising, sometimes reassuring or protecting. He appeared and reappeared even more often around the days of the �Yom - Kipur War� [October War , 1973 ,Middle East] , at which time our elder son , Reuven ,served in the army. He had been in great danger together with others, and we worried very much for the fate of all. The news on the radio was exciting and many times terrifying, but in my dreams my old uncle came comforting and consoling me lovingly. I felt that he tended to protect not only me, but also our son, who was in danger. Indeed, how grateful we felt later on, hearing the story of his escape �by chance� from death. Another prominent dream with my old uncle related to my younger son, Rafy, who was 16 years old at that time. Rafy asked for our permission to buy a small motorcycle, - he worked during the summer and earned the money for it. We didn�t approve, explaining how dangerous that is due to the crazy drivers on the roads. We asked him to wait two more years , by which time, he would be old enough, by Israeli law, to drive our car. To our liking or disliking, Rafy has a very strong will, when his heart is set on something, he will not give up easily. We, the parents, had a serious conflict with him. On one hand, we knew very well how risky a motorcycle could be for a young boy, but on the other hand, we felt that forcing our veto on him was too great an interference. That is his life and not ours. Once again my old uncle appeared in my dream; the three of us : my uncle, Rafy - holding a motorcycle - and I stood in the middle of a very busy street in Tel - Aviv. My uncle asked me to wait at the side, while both of them rode the bike in the heavy traffic. They began driving awfully fast and dangerously, I looked at them breathless, quite frightened. After a while they returned with a broad smile and my loving uncle said to me: � I took your son into very difficult situations. He is clever, skilful and cautious. You should allow him to buy the bike, trust him and don�t worry.� As I woke up the next morning I was so happy and felt relieved of a difficult problem, I immediately turned to my husband, and said: �I approve, I approve the bike�. He was the only one who I told about my dreams. My enthusiasm inspired and convinced him to also give his blessing concerning the motorcycle. I sincerely believe the dream helped me to remain calm and quiet each time Rafy came home late. Thank God, he never had any accidents. Nearly two years had past since my first dream on the seashore. Being a yoga teacher, I visited a library in a yoga center , I stood in front of a bookshelf and randomly picked out one book. I opened it up - and nearly fainted! My loving uncle�s beautiful face with a brilliant warm glance was staring at me from a picture on the first page. The name printed at the bottom of it was Sri Ramana Maharshi. The book�s name happened to be: �Ramana Maharshi and the Path of Self-knowledge� by Arthur Osborne. I began to read the first lines and found out that the �uncle� from my dreams is one of the greatest spiritual masters of the century! I can�t express in words my feelings at the moment of this new revelation. Suddenly a curtain was lifted from my eyes and a new kind of perception opened up in me. I felt an enormous thirst to learn each word of Bhagavan , to live through out his teaching and to let it be absorbed in me. Fortunately I never had any doubt , as I began to reveal the Direct Path ; I knew inside my heart that I had found my way , the purpose of life. I became greatly grateful to Ramana Maharshi and to my fate. Since then, Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi takes me hand in hand in day-to-day life and shows the way to Self-realization. His teaching is complete and perfect. His answers to devotees� questions are the most direct and effective, clearing out every doubt or misunderstanding. There is never an unnecessary word, nor is there ever a missing one. I must confess, that since I found my master and his teaching in many wonderful books, he appears very rarely in my dreams, but, from the very first dream I was irresistibly drawn to him, feeling a magnetic love for Bhagavan. That is something beyond logic, how dreams, books and the radiating visage of my master, could so greatly enrich my soul. I never experienced anything so enlightening; my devotion to Bhagavan is the most important happening in my inner life. I love my family very deeply and I am grateful for my good fortune of having them with me. Even so, no one can compare this sort of love to the ties, which bind me to Bhagavan. That love is happening as if on another sphere, as if I live a double life and at the same time, also deep inside me, as a constant background music. So deep inside, that there is no distance, and never can be any distance between Bhagavan and me. He is in my soul. Therefore, it is not correct to say, how I came to Ramana Maharshi, but how He appeared in my dreams as an old uncle and how only after two years revealed Himself to me. What have I received from Him? Inner peace, even during the turmoil of life, and infinite love. What have I learned? A new angle of vision, understanding the truth of the underlying oneness and unity of existence and to know the Self, the core of Being of the whole universe. I owe you all this, Bhagavan, thank you. Visit to the Ashram It was a great surprise to me in the early 70�s to find out that the Ramanashramam is continuously functioning and even growing , more than 20 years after Bhagavan�s Mahasamadhi. I wrote to the editor and became a life subscriber of The Mountain Path with great pleasure and also asked for available books . As I got to know that the Ashram receives visitors , a great longing arose in me to see the places where my master lived. I wanted to meditate in the meditation Hall where His radiation vibrates in the air, to walk on the foot path of Arunachala where he walked and which he loved so much. I longed to be near to His Samadhi. Unfortunately I couldn�t allow myself to go for many reasons, family problems and other. The greatest hindrance was the anxiety of my husband , he feared about my safety. At that time there were no diplomatic relationships between Israel and India ; with this background , worry and fear for one�s life and security made the decision to undertake the travel more difficult. I didn�t want to go in such a condition that he should worry because of me. I decided to wait for the right time when circumstances would fit in harmony. It happened indeed after 16 years of waiting and longing, the time, and everything around became ripe. My husband gave his blessing and let me go. I arrived at the ashram in December 1987 in the middle of the night , one could see a million stars in the sky. A strong feeling took me over : I am home! In the first days I was so excited and happy that I couldn�t stop crying: these were the tears of happiness. Those times I had no questions anymore , but I had to learn to strike down the restless mind and to remember to Be , only to Be ! Bhagavan�s love brought me to Arunachala and his Grace guides me to eternal Consciousness. The Ashram manager in those years , Mani , received me very kindly , I feel grateful to him. My good fate brought me also to Lucy Ma (Lucy Cornellsen) , an indweller devotee, with whom I corresponded during two years until she left her body. Her letters were so wise , loving and teaching , that some parts of them got printed in the Mountain Path in December 1991. I visited the Ashram two more times , happily enjoying the warm radiating atmosphere of Bhagavan. Now , I don�t feel I need anymore to be there physically, Ramana Maharshi is with me always. | |||
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