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The Origin of the Cat and Dog
It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Seal Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light on the question, "Where do pets come from?"
And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me.
Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be,this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do,in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal.And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility."
And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam.
And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved.
And Cat did not care one way or the other.
Author Unknown
A Cat's Wisdom
Be finicky
Express yourself
If you like it, lie on it
Napping is an art form
Keep busy between naps
Chaos is a sign of creativity
Make friends with your food
Don't be afraid to make your mark
A happy cat, means a happy household
You don't have to explain what you are doing
One person's garbage is some lucky cat's toy
Don't let them know what you're really up to
Loving cats is proof of superior intelligence
Take time to stop and eat the houseplants
Always include fresh food in your diet
If it isn't messy, it's not creative
Look cute when you misbehave
You can't have too much fun
Don't give up...lose interest
Curiosity thrilled the cat
Indulge your cravings
A Cats Bill of Rights
My person shall make no attempt to restrict my freedom of movement (except that restriction which can be soundly proven to benefit my physical welfare). This especially applies to holding me when I do not wish to be so held.
My person shall not attempt to train me to do ridiculous dog tricks like play dead and roll over.
My person shall not laugh out loud at me (or encourage others to do so) no matter how silly I look in the course of my training.
I shall have the right to bare claws (if I still have them) to protect myself and my property.
I shall have the right to object strenuously if any other cat is quartered in my quarters without my consent, during war and peace.
I have the right to secure in my special spot, litter, toys and general catness and to protect same against unreasonable search and seizure.
I shall not be removed from my place in the sun without due cause.
Under no circumstances whatever am I to be punished by hitting, slapping or kicking or else I shall again have the right to bare claws-or teeth.
Dire need must be proven before I am to be immersed in water.
My person shall admonish his acquaintances, spouse and children to avoid shutting my tail in appliances or sitting on me.
My person shall not leave a halibut to thaw, then get mad when he returns and finds it decimated.
I shall not be squirted with a water or air gun.
Now that we have told the humans a thing or two, come with us and listen to the
