Plagiarised from "Vict'M", the Victorian newsletter of Australian Mensa;

		BOILED FRUITCAKE:
		-----------------

Ingredients:
	1 cup butter
	1 cup sugar
	1 cup mixed dried fruit
	1 cup water
	4 large eggs
	1 tablespoon brown sugar
	1 teaspoon salt
	1 teaspoon baking soda
	50g walnuts
	lemon juice
	1 bottle whisky
Method:
	Place dried fruit, water and half cup of sugar in saucepan. Boil
for 15 minutes. Pour whisky into shot glass, sample to check quality. Get
large mixing bowl. Check whisky again. Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat
previous step. Turn on electric mixer and beat butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add 1 spoontea of baking soda, half cup of sugar and beat again.
Resample whisky to make sure it's still whisky. Turn off the mixer, break
two legs, add to bowl. Chuck in fried druit. Mix on the turner. If fruit
gets stuck in the beaters, pry loose with screwdriver. Sample whisky to
check tonsisticity. Next sift two cups of salt or something. Check the
whisky. Sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add 1 tablespoon of
brown sugar, or any colour you see. Wix mell. Grease the oven, turn
pancake to 350 gredeedles. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Pour mix
into cake pan and over the bench. Throw bowl out the window. Stagger to
laundry, put pan cake in oven, set to hot rinse. Continue sampling whisky
till bottle is empty. Bo to ged.

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