A BIPOLAR ARTICLE/DEPRESSION

1. A Mind you Cannot Trust

"Bipolar disorder is living with a mind you can’t trust. What clinician call "mood swings" are, to us, changes in who we are. They occur without reason or notice and are completely outside our control. Manic episodes - whether violent, irritable, or euphoric - often feel as if the "real you" is watching some disconnected mad person lose all control and inhibition. It can feel good: social, talkative, energetic, everything bright, clear, and beautiful. It can be hell: suicidal, every noise grating, every light too bright, every person painfully annoying. Thoughts can circle incessantly or clang from one track to another uncontrollably.

Depression leaves you feeling worthless and helpless - no place you want to be, nothing you want to do , no one you want to be with. Dishes, laundry, bill-paying, even bathing can become overwhelming. Suicidal feelings come in long sieges, no manic impulse or flashes. Mania can feel fun, carefree, powerful exhilarating - but when the mood dissolves, there is nothing left except despair, regret, shame, humiliation, and often debts to repay."

(This is an excerpt from an article written by 2 freelance writers who live with Bipolar. It’s from the NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) website www.nami.org.)

Bipolar Disorder - also known as Manic Depression

Bipolar Disorder is described as a mood disorder, which involves mood swings between mania and depression. Mania and depression, being the "poles" of the disorder. Since people are very different and the path of this disease can be as different as fingerprints, the symptoms of mania including are not limited to the following: Pressured speech fast, and jumps from topic to topic, can loses ability to gauge one’s own limits (i.e. Taking on more than one can handle such as jobs, school, volunteer jobs, extracurricular activities etc). People with Bipolar Disorder can be very productive when they are manic, but often difficulties occur when they are no longer superhuman. They can have a belief that they are invincible, can take on any task, the world etc. While in a manic state people with Bipolar Disorder will often go out and spend large amounts of money that they don’t necessarily have, because of this, they often have lots of financial problems. Wait, it gets better, when manic, they can get very promiscuous, outgoing and can gain delusions and have psychotic symptoms (like they are the Virgin Mary or Jesus). They have an exaggerated self-esteem, self-importance, elation and increase in energy, a decreased need for sleep and often irritability.

WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN

The symptoms of depression are hopelessness, painful sadness, loss of pleasure and an indifference to things that used to bring them pleasure. Lack of ability to concentrate, lack of motivation, negative view of the world, a constant feeling of being in the depths of despair and that nothing will help. They often stop doing anything, have lost the ability to think straight, a mind that is bogged down, and some feel as though they are in a deep, dark tunnel with no way out and no way around. Its worst depression can include suicidal ideations, the thought of the end as a solution.