Here is a little info about me so u can get to know my story and me. I was diagnose with border-line bp when I was 13 years old. I lived a very manic life for about 2 years or so, then I tried to commit suicide at the age of 15. Thats what landed me into my first hospital stay. I was diagnosed with having BPI. I was in there for about 6 months then I was released.

I wound back up in there again 6 months later for cutting. They thought it was suicide at first until I explained to them that it was a pressure reliever for me. I could literally feel and see all of my pain escape from the wound. I spent almost a year inpatient that time.

I was in two different ones and spent 6 months in one then moved to another for another 6 months. I spent my sweet 16 birthday there too. I got out when i was 16 and a half.

Then I spent the next 3 years living as a very manic teenager, doing things normal teens wouldn’t do. I was drinking, drugging and having sex with anybody and everybody. I even help a friend of mine steal a broken down car.

Then we moved back to Las Cruces, where we came from. I got involved with this man that I thought I loved. Three months into the relationship I got pregnant. I realized 6 months into the pregnancy that I wasn’t really in love with this guy. I didn’t want my son to grow up without a father so I stuck around for the first 2 years. Well this man I would almost constantly fight.
I started to search for things to throw at him, which I hadn’t done in almost 3 to 4 years. It started to scare me so I took my son and got out.

After that I lived with my parents for a while. Then I got an apartment with a friend and got a job waitressing at a club in Texas. So, my family and I decided with the job and all, my son would stay with them when I had to work and when I was off he would come and stay with me. That’s when I met the man of my dreams.

Of course to be with him there where a lot of sacrifices for me. In the long run it would benefit me and my son. The man of my dreams is from Germany and he asked me to go there and visit him and his home, so I did. I stayed for three months and we had long talks about our future together and what we wanted. I went back to the US and we still hadn’t decided what we where going to do and how we where going to be together. All we knew was that we wanted to be with each other. I stayed there for 2 and a half months and came back. After being back with him a month later he asked me to marry him. We got married on March 1st 2002. A month or two months later I got pregnant with our beautiful daughter.

My son resides in the US because his natural father told me that if I took him he would kill himself. The sick son of a bitch would too. My son does not reside with him, he resides with my parents. His father is too mentally unstable to take care of himself, how could he take care of a child?

Oh I almost forgot. After the birth of my beautiful baby girl 5 months later I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Now I get a shot every week, that my wonderful hubby does for me. I can’t I’m afraid of needles.

P.S
Between the ages of 14 and 18 they

are a blur. I don’t remember a lot. Mostly after my suicide attempt. If the times frames are off sorry.

Love Ya
Beatrice