Hi, my name is Lilly.

        I am 23 years old, have BPD and Bi Polar disorder. I have been having a hard time with things lately and do not know what to do. I am sick of this selfesteem issue I have adopted since having my first son 5 months ago. I used to be a slim 130 and now am 165.

        In my mind my boyfriend is always pursuing other women. I yell at him for no reason and end up harming myself one way or another. I don’t even let him watch tv shows or movies with women that look too pretty on them. I hate the stretch marks and the extra weight and I am pretty sure he does too.

        Our sex life sucks and he says he is sick of my behaviour and ready to split. I am on Neurontin and will not even leave him alone in the house for fear he will cheat on me one way or another.

        I have never been this way. I love our son so much and want him to have a daddy and a sane mommy. I don’t know what to do! Can anyone offer some advice>?