When
you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly
the same way, from moment to moment.
It is an impossibility.
It is
even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand.
We have so little
faith in the
ebb and flow of life, of love, of
relationships.
We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its
ebb. We are afraid it will never return.
We insist
on permanency, on
duration, on continuity; when the only
continuity
possible, in life as in
love,
is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom,
in the sense
that the
dancers
are free, barely touching as they pass,
but partners
in the same pattern.
The only real
security is not in owning or possessing, not in
demanding or expecting, not in hoping,
even. Security
in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia,
nor forward
to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the
present relationship and accecpting it as
it is now.
Relationships must
be like
islands, one must accept them
for what they
are here and
now, within their limits - islands,
surrounded
and interrupted by the
sea, and continually visited and
abandoned
by the tides.
~Anne Morrow
Lindbergh~
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