Note to you, the reader: I realize when I write this that it will make even less sense than most of my ranting does, but thats just the point. And besides, cut me some slack, at least I wrote you something. Also, my mood as to this whole idea is one of pure wacky amusement, which will not help the nonsensicality of the article.
What the hell does "Biodogio" mean, is what you're wondering right now, isn't it. It certainly should be. It's what I am wondering right now. Sadly, I doubt this article will answer our questions. In fact, it might just spawn more questions about that mysterious term, the undeefined biodogio. Let me start my story at the beginning.
The other day, I was in quite the predicament. I was in calculus class. For me that is quite the predicament, since I hate calculus. Anyway, to escape my misery in that class, I was writing down ideas for articles I could write for this webpage. I had something along the lines of 2 written down when I was gripped by a force that normally grips me in calculus class, the desire to take a nap. Now, this nap must have been a particularly good nap, because normally when I nap in class, I do not have dreams. This time, however, I must have had a really philosophical dream, because at soem point I woke up, and I'm pretty sure I said aloud in the middle of class "BIODOGIO!" (not as loudly as the capital letters imply, but still quasi-loudly). My calculus teacher apparently did not notice, because he was busy differentiating the square root of x or some other bullshit that I don't care about. Find the line tangent to my ass! As soon as I uttered the word "biodogio" I knew it would be important, so I wrote it down, laughed hysterically, and then immediately fell asleep and apparently forgot about the whole thing.
Cut to today, as I am studying for a completely different class (don't worry, I was using the term "study" very loosely, as in "study: reading notes while listening to They Might Be Giants," I wasn't really studying) which happens to share a notebook with my accursed calculus class, when it somehow flashed into my memory that I had written something incredibly important in my calculus notes. I immediately turned to them, because even with my watered down version of "studying" I will do anything to avoid it, and read my other stupid article ideas and then saw the word... "biodogio."
I read it and laughed and laughed and laughed. Its completely ridiculous. I assumed that something I heard him say in calculus class had sunk into my brain and its incredible importance had forced me to write it down, even in my quasi-awake state. Overcome with curiousity, I turned to my computer to find out just what the word meant. I first searched Yahoo! and came up with nothing. No results at all. So I tried google but even its huge database refused to come up with a single match for biodogio. Then I got desparate and tried metacrawler and even that gave nothing. Then I tried even more thorough and used an all in one search engine, dogpile, which searched practically every search engine ever, and it came up with the same... zero results.
As far as I can tell, this is a lot like the "funny when you're stoned" effect. Or for me the "funny at 3 AM" effect. For those of you unfamiliar with this effect, basically, when your brain is only partially functioning you come up with ideas or jokes that seem really really good at the time, but are in fact, mind numbingly stupid. An example is a quote that I pulled off the noteboard that was next to my bed last year: "It's awfully dark when I turn the lights off in here." It seemed either philosophically genious or hilariously funny when I wrote it, but now its just confusing.
So what must have happened is I must have spontaneously generated a word. I think its the first time in history this has happened. Usually to come up with a word you think about it or you combine two other words to describe an idea you've already had, but in this case, I got a word first, without a meaning. Yes, thank you, I have made history. Sadly, however, this word has no meaning yet, which means I'll have to think of one.
[thinking]
[thinking]
[still thinking]
I've got it, I'll break it down into sections:
So, the logical combination, then, is:
Basically, then, the biodogio is someone who decides whether you live or die. Bitchin.
Now that we've worked that out, you may wonder, why the hell I wrote about this. I figure I can sum that up before I bother to close this article, after all, you've got to be quite curious at this point. I've got 2 reasons.
--Scuba "Biodogio" Steve, November 15, 2001
*wow, even my nickname has a nickname