This is the story of a fish tank, but not just any fish tank, a truly horrific fish tank. The FISH TANK OF DOOM!
It all started innocently enough. 2 of my roommates returned from a trip to the mall one Sunday afternoon with a tank and four fish. Four fish that were about to live through the most horrific time of their short, fishy lives.
Lovingly referred to as the big pimpin' fish, these four African Swahili fish were given all the best in life. Their tank was top of the line, and they swam in only store bought spring water. One of my roomies even bought little pimp daddy spotlights so their tank would be as visually pleasing to the fish as possible. If only he had bought them peace of mind.
Because both the fish and we were going to learn something this fateful day. That the exact place that we kept the fish tank was haunted by the evil spirits of fish who died in the very same place long long ago.
At first the fish seemed happy. They frolicked and played in their new, expensive home. But this happiness soon turned to dread. Dread because the fish found out what we did not yet know. That there tank was THE FISH TANK OF DOOM!!!
As we slept the spirits of the accursed fish that formerly resided in the room tormented these poor little fish. This evil, forsaken fish tortured their victims by mystifying the water to the fish couldn't see and raising the pH of the water to a level that no fish could withstand. The next morning none of us knew the horror that our fishy friends had been subjected to, but at one roommate watched, he saw first hand as the spirits grabbed the fish and swirled them around violently as they tried to escape.
"It was so sad," he said afterwards, obviously in a state of shock, " they would just float there and then all of a sudden spin around for no reason" he made an accompanying hand motion. He saw each of the fish get it, one every hour, until finally all the fish were gone.
Even now, the FISH TANK OF DOOM still sits as a memorial to the big pimpin' fish who lost their lives horribly to the ghosts that haunt its present location, until its hideous mystery is solved. Or until mark goes out and buys more fish.
Dedicated to the memory of the big pimpin fish� (October 29, 2000 - October 30, 2000)
--Scuba Steve, October 30, 2000