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Like many of you, I am part of a huge system called "school," which is a place where you go every day to listen to people who consider themselves "qualified" lecture you about all sorts of subjects that you don't really care about at all. In this useless institution, I have a particularly useless class that is entitled "Environmental Geology" in which we mainly get lectured about geology. Now, specifically, today, we were lectured on plate tectonics, and this was what our professor told us (approximately):
"About 30 years ago, if you got a bunch of geologists together (like say at a big geologist party) and asked them all if the continents were moving around, you would be hard pressed to find one that said yes. Nowadays, though, if you got a bunch of geologists together (at, say, a Geology rave) you would have adifficult time finding one who didn't believe in plate tectonics."
Now, my first thought upon hearing this, was of course that all geologists must be weak willed followers who just agree with whatever all of their contemporaries think, but after much thought about this instead of what the class was about (something about earthquakes or something unimportant), I came to the conclusion that it was something different.... something far far more sinister.... GEOLOGY PROPAGANDA!!!
Yes, geology propaganda. They teach it in our schools, they write it in our textbooks. The geologists in power force all of their ideas on an unsuspecting public, in a violent, unavoidable way. The force you to "learn" their lies and if you don't conform, you must face their wrath.
Let's take an example: If, when I have to take the test for this class, I put down that I don't believe in plate tectonics, I seriously doubt that I will pass the test. If fact, if I wrote on my test that the continents didn't move, I would probably be a laughingstock, because those in power would violently crush my opposition, and make an example of me for not believeing in the lie that is plate tectonics.
You see it everywhere. On geology billboards, on webpages... even geology banners force this fallacy on us, like it was an obvious truth. HA! I for one refuse to believe in this so called "phoenomenon" until I see it with my own eyes. I will not believe in convergent or divergent boundaries, until I witness them pressing and pulling apart (respectively) gigantic plates which contain the continents. Until I am physically shown the mid-Atlantic trench where lithosphere is being forced up through the crust, I will not believe in its lies!
Another of these geological fallacies has occurred to me, and it is this: How do we know that the earth is REALLY round. Oh, they've got all kinds of "evidence" in their "books" that don't "use quotation marks for no reason," but who wrote those books? It was geologists, those same geologists who told us that the earth is covered with gigantic plates! Have any of you actually seen the world from space? No, you haven't. Have you ever traveled the full way around the world? No, you haven't. So you really have no proof that the world is round, its all just a lie thought up by those damned geologists.
I know what youre thinking, you want to combat this problem as much as I do, but you don't know how to help. "How can I throw off this yoke of geological opression?" you ask. Well, thats where I come in. I have prepared a number of large graphics that you can print out and hang up to show how you dont support the geological revolution. So you do that.
--Scuba Steve, October 4, 2001