Are you ready? FOR SOME MAD VOLLEYBALL ACTION!!!!
Many of you may wonder, Scuba, what do you do in that time when you arent writing things for us to read, watching bad martial arts movies, or sleeping? Thats a good question, because most of the time I don't really remember. Or I just don't feel like writing it down for you to read. If you want to have zany adventures, have them yourself. But, today I've decided to relate to you the events of one saturday less than a week ago that was interesting enough for me to remember until today.
It began at 3:10, pm. The Delone Catholic High School schoolwide volleyball tournament. I know what you're saying - "you're in college Scuba!" Well, shaddap, I'm getting to that. You people have no patience. I was called in as moral support to a team for what had always been my favorite extracurricular activity, the Band.
Yes, it may come as no surprise to those of you who know that I was a Music Education Major last semester that I am a band geek. Or at least was. I don't know what I am now, probably just a loser with no life.
Anyway, The band team was named "the Goats", a prolific name, and they were there to kick ass and take names...... sort of.
Their first match was against a team by the name of the Spunky Monkeys. Remember that, it'll be important later. For those of you who don't know, a volleyball match is won by winning best out of 3 games. After each team had won a game, the final game ensued. During this game, the server of the Spunky Monkeys aced the Goats about 7 times in a row. We all knew the game had taken a turn for the worse when one of the opposing team members put on a rubber Richard Nixon mask. Tricky Dick always makes trouble.
I'll take ths opportunity to introduce the Goats. First off there was the lovely Amanda, my own personal girlfriend (you've all figured out why I was there at this point, I take it?). Mike, a friend I've known for years, who is also insane. Joey, he's from... Maryland (hiss... hiss...). Luke, who is partially messed up. And Amy and Matt, whom I don't know enough to judge the sanity of. And I also probably forgot some people, because I'm an idiot. Their jobs were all to play volleyball. My job? Impromptu Cheerleader. Yes, I did my damnedest to cheer the Goats on to victory. I screamed, I chanted, and I even made up a goofy Goat hand sign. Now that you know a little more about the team, lets get back to the events of the tourney.
After losing their first game, the Goats were informed that their first opponent in the Loser's bracket didn't show up, so they won by default. This pulled the Goats' record up to 1 and 1. Not bad, but wait, it gets better.
We all took that opportunity to go eat a celebratory meal at Hardee's, the crappiest restaurant, but the only one within walking distance of shithole, I mean my former high school. It was a victory, an we were proud, even if it was not a hard fought victory.
Afterwards we returned to the gymnasium where said tournament was taking place, and waited for the Goats' thrid scheduled matchup to begin. We waited hours. It was a serious drag, because all the other volleyball games were going overtime, and watching volleyball when you don't know or care about the teams whatsoever is rather unexciting.
Then it came time for the Goats' third game. But wait, only 3 members of the opposing team showed up. You know what that means. The Goats win again by default! At this news we filled the air with so much joyous "baaa"-ing that the referee laughed his ass off. This made the Goats' record 2 and 1 without actually winning a single match!
However, our gladness turned to despair, which was then replaced by pure unadulterated amusement when we learned that the next opponent the team would have to face was..... the Spunky Monkeys! AGAIN!
I won't get into the details of the match, but the Goats' streak was ended since they only won one out of 3 games.
Don't cry for the goats, however. They placed 8th in the tournament overall. Think about that, They did not really win a single match, and yet, they were 8th out of 16 teams. How much does it suck to be one of those other teams? Also, It's interesting to note that the 8th place team only faced off agaisnt one other team really, and didnt have a single match win, but yet their record was 2 and 2.
This was the most astounding volleyball tournament I ever went to. This was the only volleyball tournament I ever went to.
--Scuab Steve, February 14, 2001