So not last week but the week before, I actaully watched the ratings giant, Survivor. Man, did it ever suck. Why did I watch it? Because the networked hyped the fact that an "accident" was goign to happen to someone, and the rumor was that it was going to be someone eaten by an alligator. Just like the rest of the people who were suckered in, Rocky and I got set up and watched, hoping for the grisliest accident possible. Instead, it was the suckiest accident possible. I vidclipped it, but I think I accidentally deleted my saved stills. So, to bring you a more quality version, I have drawn up pictures of the actual even and of what would happen if I was in charge.
In real life, he was standing next to the fire. In my little world he should've been playing with a seemingly friendly crocodile.
Next, things go bad for the dumb guy. Smoke blows up in his face. In the cool version, the alligator begins to eat him.
Ah, the poor schmuck passes out. Or gets his whole body eaten, in the innately better version.
Here is the end result. He's got burns all over his body in real life, and in my version all the other castaways laugh their asses off at his death. Idiots, they don't realize that they could've eaten him for food.
Scuba's reaction:
On the left, it's "Why the hell did I just waste an hour of my life?"
On the right, it's "HAHAHAHAHA!!! JACKASS!"
ALLIGATORS = HITS! (I HOPE!)
--Scuba Steve, March 14, 2001