The Entire Internet In Review, Part 1

The Internet. A vast source of information containing millions of webpages, with millions more every day. True, the wealth of information on the Internet is huge, but how can you know what sites are good and what to avoid? Well, that's where your good buddy Scuba comes in. I have decided to shower down upon you my wisdom about websites by reviewing for you every website on the entire Internet. "But Scuba," you say, "that could take years!" Well, that's why I have broken up my review of the entire Internet into an as of yet unnamed number of sections. This way, later when I think to myself "Gee, I need to update my website, but I can't think of anything important to write about... I know! I'll add another useless section about webpages that I obviously hate all of!" Enough ranting about my lack of ability to come up with interesting topics... Let the reviewing commence!

note#1: All websites picked by random selection (my moving my cursor around with my eyes closed and clicking until I got to something interesting looking. Unless I picked some on purpose.
note#2: Today to rate these sites I am using the dagger scale. What this means is the number that each of these sites is rated is the number of daggers I would like to stick in myself rather than be associated with the site. Of course, thats completely irrelevant now, considering the fact that I am reviewing them in a public format.
note#3: Using my mad programming skills/learning new code by stealing from other sites skills I have made it so the links open in a different window.

BraveNewWorkWorld & NewWork News
I think this is supposed to be some sort of combination e/n site/business news? I don't really know, this whole site seems rather useless to me, its just news that most people would care about far less than they do about the stupid national news that no oen really cares about but reads so they can talk about it and not seem stupider than other people. Don't worry, I can't rate it completely on content, I also really really think the design sucks. It's a bunch of black text with blue links on a white background. There are no pictures, except that "thing" at the top that I assume is a company logo. Nice job guys, this must've taken a whole 30 seconds to write code for. And hey, the text of numerous different sizes all over the page truly adds to the visual displeasure. When you can't see pictures, the next best thing is obviously giant text next to incredibly small text!
RATING:

ex-USSR Nuclear Technologies and the World
I think this sentence pretty much sums it up: There are plenty of exUSSR sites, and nuclear science and energy sites, but this is a site dedicated solely to both exUSSR AND Nuclear Technology (of any sort) combined! Very nice statement of the obvious in the second sentence you read! I clicked on "image based navigation," because what the hell, browsers do what they do for a reason. Man, does he ever mean "image based." There's lots of pretty pictures. If you click on some Russian words, it will apparently even play you a little Russian song. While I wait for said song to download so I can listen to it in all its glory, I will finish harshly criticizing the rest of the page. I personally like the "upgrade to Netscape 2.0" button. It shows how dated this page is. At least I don't have to worry about this dude hunting me down, because I don't think he's updated this in about 6 years.
RATING:

John Glenn - He's Not Just History Anymore
Hey, whoever wrote this knows how to open a page--a big picture! This website pays homage to John Glenn through one large graphic and then crass consumerism. I'm sure John Glenn would be glad to see this webpage, since it is mainly about one paragraph about him, and then links to places where you can buy books about him. In fact, if not for the one link at the bottom of the page, there would be no evidence that John GLenn wasn't still just history.
RATING:

Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Baseball
I've never understood fantasy baseball, and this allows me to be extra critical of it. Hell, to be honest, I've never really understood professional baseball, it seems as if most of the people get paid millions of dollars without doing much work at all. Anyway, this charming little page has everything you need if you are a fantasy baseball enthusiast. There's a place you can join the league, just by pressing a button (a must with things like "fantasy baseball" online). You can see the top ten teams by wins, near the bottom. And you can even see the top ten rotisserie teams, which I guess is the top then fried chicken like teams (?). Thats why I don't play fantasy baseball. Because it's dumb.
RATING (23)

RaveLinks - the underground rave web site
WOO! RAVE TIME! If you ever feel the need to dress like a blind man who can only afford the clothes that are rejected by the salvation army out of pity for poor people who may have to wear them, then a rave is a party for you! You get to wear like 15 candy necklaces wrapped around as many appendages as you can and carry glo-sticks! GLO-STICKS!!! I'm not gonna rate this one any more, because I can't stand ravers, so we're gonna go straight to the rating.
RATING: (32)

That's all I'm gonna rate today, because if I rated any more it would be too depressingly hate-filled. Also, if you have any pages you would like me to rate negatively like I have here, send me the URL using this link: THIS LINK!

The suckier the better. And remember, more stupidity = more hatred = more criticism = more articles for you to read.

--Scuba Steve, April 19, 2001