New Shit Times
KUALA LUMPUR, MON - The Anti-Corruption Agency has changed its name to become the Anti-Opposition Agency. This was revealed at a press conference this morning by its Director General Ahmad Zaki Husin, who said that the name change was necessary to clear up many misconceptions about the role of the Agency.
“Just because we called ourselves the Ant-Corruption Agency, many people think that we have to investigate all reported cases of corruption. In fact, we only do so if the alleged corruption concerns Opposition members.
“For instance, we will be leaving no stone unturned to investigate every allegation of Anwar's corruption in the Murad affidavit for which numerous special teams have already been set up. They will be interviewing persons locally and have contacted Interpol to locate persons overseas. We have even contacted NASA in case Anwar is keeping the alleged RM3 billion on the moon.”
When asked whether the AOA would fabricate evidence against Anwar, Ahmad Zaki replied that this was up to the police. “We always respect whatever the police does.”
Ahmad Zaki said he had been annoyed over the last few days by repeated calls for the Agency to probe Anwar's own allegations of corruption against Mahathir, Daim, Rafidah, Rahim Thamby Chik, Mohtar Abdullah and Gani Patail. He said, “Why on Earth would we want to do that for? These people are pillars of the government.” He hoped that by spelling it out clearly, the name change would stop Opposition members, especially Mr. Lim Kit Siang, from confusing the issue.
Ahmad Zaki added that if government ministers were investigated, the results would generally be placed in an X-File and would be used only if the person concerned decides to join the Opposition or refuses to cooperate with Mahathir in any way.
Ahmad Zaki defended the morality of the AOA's policy saying, “People have to understand that we are fully funded by the government. After all, it is a generally accepted principle that you do not bite the hand that feeds you.”
When a foreign newsman asked whether he did not think that the government's money belongs to the taxpayers, Ahmad Zaki expressed surprise and called it a “preposterous idea.”
“If some taxpayers are going around claiming that the government's money belongs to them, we will certainly investigate who these audacious people might be. It would be considered a serious case of corruption, very serious indeed.”
Seachange Malaysia