He had woken up with a sick feeling in the pit of his
stomach and gone to the Wawasan2020 College after having eaten only half his
normal breakfast. Not that he was afraid of exams, but this particular subject
— The Thoughts of Mahathir — was one that he most detested.
‘Hi Osman, apa khabar?’ A voice greeted him as he
walked to class from the bicycle park.
‘Khabar baik, Ling,’ he replied, observing that the
Chinese guy’s face was full of anticipation. No doubt the latter had memorized
to perfection all chapters and verses of “The Thoughts of Mahathir,” a
large, red-covered book that he frequently carried about with him. Already, the
thin, heavily bespectacled face had A+ written all over it.
‘So, how’s your preparation?’
‘Bad, bad. All I’m hoping for is a pass mark,’ Osman replied.
Ling Ah Shit’s face turned disapproving for he disapproved of anyone who was not fired up with enthusiasm for “The Thoughts of Mahathir.” Well, if your father had served as Transport Minister under Mahathir and enriched himself handsomely as a result, you wouldn’t mind one bit licking the old man’s filthy boots, Osman thought.
‘Only by being world-class can we compete in the globalised economy,’ Ling Ah Shit intoned.
‘Okay, okay,’ replied Osman, not wanting to be lectured
to with quotations from the Big Red Book. But privately he thought: ‘World
class my foot! The old man allowed his cronies to engorge themselves on
sweetheart business deals. And, when they failed, he was always there with
billions in public money to bail them out.’
Outside the class, Osman joined a group of his friends who,
like him had no love lost on “The Thoughts of Mahathir.” Like him, they had
gloomy looks on their faces for, like him, they would have to drown their real
sentiments writing praises to the so-called “Great Father of Modern
Malaysia.” At Wawasan2020 College, it was a compulsory subject that had to be
passed. Privately, they called him the “Destroyer of Modern Malaysia.” Ling,
on the other hand, was effecting a last minute revision of his dog-eared,
well-thumbed, Big Red Book, his lips moving silently and quickly, as though in
prayer.
At nine sharp, the students were let into the classroom.
Osman took a seat at the back, the further away from the huge portrait of
Mahathir which gazed down at them in front, the better. The exam paper lay face
down on each desk. When the body of students had settled down, the teacher
nodded, ‘All right, you may start.’
Osman turned over the paper and his heart sank on reading
the first question:
Question1: The Proton car industry is considered one of the
finest examples of Father Mahathir’s brilliance, foresight and vision, an
immense gift to the nation. Discuss with particular reference to national pride,
the national economy, and benefit to the people of Malaysia.
He wrote:
It’s not true. We were held hostage to a shoddily built, overpriced car that
still has to be protected after over thirty year. It deprived all Malaysians of
choice …..
No, this would not do. He
crossed it out and began more sensibly on a new sheet of paper:
I
suppose the Proton can be said to have fostered national pride. After all,
everything about it is now made in Malaysia except for the engine, which is
still imported from Japan. Lucky for us or else, it won’t even run ….
Osman checked himself in
time and crossed out the last sentence. But he did not know what else to write
that was positive about the national car. And there was the whole page to fill.
For inspiration, he looked at the nape of Ling Ah Shit’s neck in front who was
writing as though there was no tomorrow, but none came. Oh, he’ll come back to
this question later. On to Question 2:
Question 2: Discuss how Father Mahathir, as Defender of the
Nation, had frequently warned us of evil Westerners seeking to re-colonize
Malaysia as well as Chinese extremists seeking to exploit Malay weakness.
Yah, yah, yah, whose father was he anyway? He had trade
missions go begging for foreign investments at the same time as he was warning
us about being neo-colonized and then he played racial politics at home, trying
to win back the Malays he had alienated. But for the purpose of the exam, he
tried:
Fr.
Mahathir, in his oceanic wisdom, knew a thing two about Westerners. After all,
you can’t be a good father unless you are also a good mother as well. He was
certainly the Mother of all Liars Malaysians in that he tried to protect
our natural assets from being taken over. For instance, our lovely beaches were
protected from foreigners too scared to come after his raving and ranting warnings.
Also, all the horseshit pearls of wisdom about Chinese extremists must be
viewed against the impossibility of ghosts of the old Communist Party of
Malaya coming to life again.
Osman re-read what he had wrote and squirmed mentally at
the banality of it all. He’ll come back to this question later, time
permitting. Stifling a desire to giggle, he proceeded to the next one:
Osman groaned inwardly and shot a hostile look at
Mahathir’s smiling portrait. Oh well, he can only try:
Example
1: Petronas Twin Towers. Some people say that erecting the tallest buildings in
the world was a waste of money because they are still only half full. But the
Opposition in Malaysia is getting stronger by the day and, soon, all the extra
space can be turned into a high-security prison.
Example
2: Bakun Dam. Some people say that flooding a vast area of primeval jungle to
generate electricity that East Malaysia has got no use for is a waste of money
and environmentally destructive. But remember that we have not built Fr.
Mahathir’s mausoleum yet and this will require a colossal amount of
electricity for lighting and special effects.
Example
3: KL International Airport. Some people say that this expensive airport is
oversized and too far away from the capital but excess space in KLIA can be
rented out to all those corrupt government officials who need to live as close
as possible to the airport to effect a quick getaway in case of a popular
uprising.
Inwardly heaving a deep sigh, Osman turned to the final question.
Question 4: The prosecution and conviction of Anwar Ibrahim for
sodomy and corruption may be said to be Father Mahathir’s finest hour and
greatest victory. Give an account of the major events leading up to and during
the trials. Note: You must not write anything positive about the corrupt and
immoral Anwar Ibrahim.
His blood boiling, Osman could no longer contain himself.
He began writing furiously:
What sort
of brain-washed idiots do you think we are? Do you imagine that any fair-minded
Malaysian believes that Anwar was guilty of sodomy and corruption? Instead, the
sickening kangaroo courts showed up the worst abuse of prime ministerial power
ever in country’s history and destroyed the last vestige of respect the people
had for the whorehouse judiciary.
He continued writing energetically in the same vein. He would not only fail this subject but would also get into trouble with the Principal. But so what? It was not worth selling his soul for a pass grade in this hateful subject. He would transfer out of Wawasan2020 College? To where? Any where as long as he didn’t have to take a course called “The Thoughts of Mahathir.” But, ahead of him, Ling Ah Shit looked up in reverence at Mahathir’s image and smiled.
Written by Tsu
Nam
March 26 2001