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Introducing the members of the Super Sexy Sophomoric Sophomore Squad...
Once upon a time, there was an ancient tribe of Molians called Wookatooki Bang-Bang. They were a fierce, strong tribe which was feared throughout the land. They were scary looking, but very small. Very, very, very small.. no, I'm serious, very, very, very, very, very small. Get it? OK. Good. They were obviously super-duperly smart, with a humongous vocabulary the size of.. your mom. =P haha just kidding.. the size of Africa. Their fierce leader was the hugest, wisest, strongest Molian ever seen! And his name was Qwertyuiop. Don't make fun of his name now.. he doesn't like that. It'll make him very angry, and he'll pick you up, give you a noogie and toss you across the ocean! Now there was another member of the tribe called Te6dopolis52. He was the worst enemy of Qwertyuiop, and they had annual battles that everyone in the land came to watch. Qwertyuiop was much stronger and wiser though, and defeated Te6dopolis52 every time. Te6dopolis52 got angrier and angrier every year, and finally decided to get revenge. His plan? Umm... He's still thinking about that. Give him time, he's a little slower than Qwertyuiop, remember? We'll wait up on him, and travel to another world that's more interesting right now.
Welcome to the wonderful world of Disney. Sike.. umm.. the wonderful world of Tanzigra. Here, demons roam freely and humans are slaves to the demons. The demons enjoy breathing fire on each other and then seeing who is burned the most. Their leader is the largest, biggest, ugliest, hairiest, dumbest, most disgusting demon of them all. And his breath stinks. A lot. He's so large and big and ugly and hairy and dumb that he doesn't have a name. Well, he does, but don't say it. It's a weird, scary name, and no one likes it. Anyone who says it in front of him, or in hearing range of anyone really, gets struck by lightning on the spot. The humans here were all really sad, and their nosehairs were all burned away by the demons' horrible smells. Today, there is a grand contest. They're looking for someone larger, bigger, uglier, hairier, dumber, and disgustinger than their current leader. "Uncle Sam wants YOU to be our new leader," chant the demons. ok ok, they're getting boring too. Moving on...
Let's go back to the Molian tribe called Wookatooki Bang-Bang. Te6dopolis52 thought incredibly hard, and then came up with an idea. "Ding!" went his head, and off went the lightbulb, and away he scurried in excitement. Nothing was seen of Te6dopolis52 for a long, long, long time. What was he doing? No one knows for sure.. but he was probably trying to remember what his brilliant plan was, and then planning hard for it. Finally, his big chance came around. Everything was set, and he was ready to take his place as the leader of Wookatooki Bang-bang. And then.. well, he failed. Te6dopolis52 is like that, you know. Nothing he does compares to Qwertyuiop. So, depressed and disgraced, he returned to his cave.
Still wondering what's going on in the wonderful world of Tanzigra? eh.. Too bad. We're not going to tell you. So there: xPP.
(In case you've noticed that none of these stories even mention the Super Sexy Sophomoric Sophomore Squad, we think that you should stop thinking altogether. You're not supposed to notice that this history is completely pointless.)
Now, to bring the two stories together. Before now, the Molians and the demons of Tanzigra had never met before. But through some bizarre natural disasters, including the Big Bang, King Kong, three worldwide earthquakes, and an intergalactical tornado, their two worlds became next door neighbors. In fact, their worlds basically became the same one, only wierd shaped. Like two hexagons splashed together. Including the weird mountains from the crash.
So then the two worlds collided forming one united globe. A globe that's not round. It really looks like two hexagons splashed together. Through CONTINUITY, CHANGE, CULTURAL DIFFUSION, and an ECUMENE, the demons and peoples of Tanzigra and Wookatooki Bang-Bang interact. The demons were so big, large, ugly, hairy, dumb, and disgusting creatures the Molians had ever seen. 'Cause, you know, they really were really big, large, ugly, hairy, dumb, and disgusting. Really, really, really, REALLY big, large, ugly, hairy, dumb, and disgusting.
Now, that takes care of the CULTURAL and SOCIETAL part of this new funky-shaped world. Would you like to know what went on BIOLOGICALLY?? no? too bad =P here we gooo
Thanks to Mrs. Martus, Mrs. Whitton, and Mrs. Valenti, the demons and people of Tanzigra and the Molians of Wookatooki Bang-Bang were sufficiently knowledgeable about evolution and Darwinism. Some radical scientists wanted to study the similarities between the DNA of the demons, humans, and Molians. The results were astonishing! The DNA of the three disparate species were exactly the same! The whole world was in a panic. How could this have happened? Let's ask Ted6opolis52.
"The answer is simple," Ted6opolis52 said. "We must be genetic mutations of each other! The original model is obviously the humans, because they are large but not too large, small but not too small, ugly but not too ugly, hairy but not too hairy, dumb but not too dumb, bright but not too bright, disgusting but not too disgusting." The scientists stood perplexed and thought for hours and hours, days and days, before finally asking "What do you mean?" Ted6opoplis52 replied in a scornful tone, "It means exactly what I say it means, neither more nor less."
"Objection!" cried Qwertyuiop. Upon this cry, the perplexed scientists slowly turned their heads towards Qwertyuiop. "Objection!" Qwertyuiop cried again, "It means exactly what I say it means!! How dare you assert yourself above my power!!"