I was
born a faint few breaths before the stroke of midnight. My mother
was attending a spectacular New Year’s Eve party and amongst the effulgent
lights and glitter I chose that precise moment to greet the world.
Snuggled close to my mother’s breast I attended one glamorous festivity
after another. By the time I reached puberty I had come to believe
that this was the way of life. By the time adulthood dropped its
mantle over me, I was well experienced in the grandeur and pageantry of
artificial lights.
I left
my mother’s side to make my own way in the world. No thought was
given of permanent relationships, for I mistook the fleeting gratifications
of shallow camaraderie for enduring friendships. I remember a handful
of acquaintances who desired my friendship, but they never attended my
gala events. I recall one evening long ago when I chased them far
from me. I accused them of not wanting to be my friends, but rather
wishing to bathe in the brilliant lights of my illustrious life.
I laughed them to scorn when they claimed they needed not my light, for
they had their own. They spoke the name of One I knew not and said
that He was the giver of light. My mirth echoed from the walls as
they left my corridors, never to return. Scoffing at those who spoke
of the name of light, I turned towards the sounds of my latest banquet.
For the briefest of moments while moving down the hallway, I almost mourned
their absence. But the festive lights chased away their memory.
Never once have my lips spoken of the One who is light.
Life for me was one brightly lit gala after another. For the thirty
years of my life I had been surrounded by brilliant lights and glittering
pageantry. To celebrate my thirtieth birthday those around me put
together the grandest affair I had ever attended. Dazzling lights
flashing in a rainbow of colors surrounded a rooftop filled with the sounds
of my jubilant comrades. I remember savoring the wine, and reflecting
that it was the finest which had ever graced my lips. As I gazed
at the ruby hue of the wine and bathed my soul in its magnificent bouquet,
I proclaimed this to indeed be the elixir of life. I observed the
potential feminine playmates at my party and commented to the fellow at
my side, that of all the women who have attended my get-togethers, these
were indeed the most sumptuous and enchanting of them all. I became
enthralled as the glittering lights danced in the fabric of their gowns.
While strolling among the guests, I surveyed the shining and silken physiques
of these females and began mentally separating out the ones I would be
embracing later as the evening wore on.
Awakening
from my wine induced revelry, I heard a distant wailing which seemed to
come from beyond the lights. I paused near the edge of the roof to
seek the source of this mournful whine. The resonance became louder,
as if it were the growling of some ferocious beast. I felt a tugging
at my clothes and realized that the howling was the quickened stirring
of the night air. Fear brought sobriety to my being as icy fingers
seemed to pick me up and cast me from the brightly lit roof into the surrounding
night. I felt myself plunging through the darkness. Struggling
during my descent, I turned over and watched as I plummeted to the brick-paved
street below. I struck the ground, and the essence which had been
my life seeped out through the multiple gashes in my broken body into the
cracks and crevices between the bricks. The brilliantly colored lights
which had once surrounded me turned into one circle of light that grew
fainter while my life force sank deeper into the earth, beneath the brick-paved
street. Murky and more dismal my surroundings grew until I found
myself in a place where darkness is at home. The laughter of elegantly
gowned women and the tinkling of the finest wine goblets were replaced
by a forlorn dissonance coming from dark shadows drifting in this cloak
of blackness which had enveloped me.
Time
now seems to have no meaning for me, save that it seems to go on forever.
Now I am surrounded by what I have feared most. I dwell in the essence
of a thousand nightmares. I am imprisoned in that shadowy substance
which frightens the timid heart. I am tormented by the eternal terror
that causes the strongest of men to tremble. I have become darkness
which shall never hear the name of He who is light. In my anguish
I plead for the faintest flicker from the least of candles to give unto
me even a hint of light. But no light comes, for now I am blackness
and my only companions are the shadows. My soul calls out for the
giver of light, but He cannot answer, for I remember not His name.
~ ~
The Essence of Shadows
~ ~ by Simon West
© 12 September, Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Nine~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For
other works by Simon, return to: 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Copyright 1999, 2002 ~ ~ Simon West
