AskRose

Q: Will I become friends with AudreyHorne?

A: Possibly. She's a busy girl, but you can always e-mail her. She always writes back.

Q: Will me and chuckkkkky get married in real life?

A: My balls are not clear on this. It's hard to marry someone when they don't leave their room. You'll have to get him outside. Maybe you could lure him with some fresh newbies.

Q: Will the server ever be fixed?

A: No. SIssyfight will not live to celebrate a second birthday. Expect major crashes in April. A staff member will quit. The game will fold by the end of the year.

Q: Am I horny?

A: No. It's only gas.

Q: Whatever happened to d4best?

A: He's vacationing with ScubaSteve over at Yahoo! Spades. Causing lots of trouble there I hear.

Q: Can I have some brie and water crackers?

A: Yes, but why would you want some?

Q: Does Mark like me?

A: Like you? Girl, he's built an alter to you. He's got a crucifix with your name on it. He's totally been stalking you. If I were you, I'd buy a gun. And five bullets. Trust me, you'll need five.

Q: Will I ever swallow a hamster?

A: No, but one will swallow you.

Q:: How come my head is spinning, I can't see straight, and I find myself incoherently rambling?

A: Lay off the crack pipe. Crack kills. You will be hit by a bus.

Q: Does Xplosion like me?

A: No. He likes me. We're sleeping together and he's hung like a horse. I see a vibrator in you future.

Q: Is there cat food in my future?

A: Yes, and hairballs, too.

Q: Why do Rold Gold's Honey Mustaed pretzels taste so scrumptious?

A: They don't. They add THC to the pretzels to give you the munchies, so you'll eat more. They're worse than the tobacco companies.

Q: Will Audrey Horne ever be in the same playground as me?

A: Yes. However, she will scratch and tattle on you. Then, when no one is looking, she'll make an evil clone of you. If you fight back, she'll trash you on the boards and put you on her Shit List. Wait, you're not Lucy P..... All she'll do is grab your ass and ask for your phone number.

Q: If George Bush is President, will we be seeing more roasted salami?

A: No. Everyone knows Bush has no salami. Ask his wife.

Q: Will Zontara ever embrace me with his manly chitonous claws and give me some of his precious fluids?

A: No, but PeePeeMan has lots of fluids to spare.

Q: Will my crush like me?

A: If you make enough money they will. I see a red haired lady and a stick of butter, but I don't know what this means.