Civil War Foul-ups and Strangeness.
"Things will get out of hand general, that is why we have orders" R.E.Lee.
JUST A WALK IN THE PARK !!!
A group of civilians, from Washington, decided that it might be fun to watch the battle of Bull Run while they ate and relaxed in the shade. The festivities were going well and the battle became a form of bizarre sporting event to marvel at. SUDDENLY, Confederate cavalry charged towards them. The hysterical civies began to flee the area as fast as they could. To their horror they discovered that the quickest escape route was being blocked by Confederate artillery. Fear spread like wildfire amongst them and soon even the Union troops began to succumb to mob panic. The majority of the Union army broke ranks and fled. The Confederates had proven this war was not going to be a picnic.
NEVER TOO OLD TO SHOOT YOUR LOAD !!!
On April 12th, 1861, at 4.30 am, the first shot of the war was fired, with Confederate troops firing their artillery on Fort Sumter. The person who fired that first cannon? Good ole Edmund Ruffin - a 70 year old Virginian who proved, once and for all, that age is no barrier to banging.
JUST PLAIN BAD LUCK !!!
Over 40,000 shells were fired on Fort Sumter. AMAZINGLY, considering the barrage, not a single Union soldier was killed. Eventually the fort capitulated and a formal surrender ceremony was held. During the lowering of the Union flag, an accidental explosion occurs - killing two Union soldiers. These unlucky souls become the first casualties of the Civil War. Oh well, accidents will happen...
AN ARMY FIGHTS ON IT'S STOMACH !!!
Excatly why did Fort Sumter surrender? As you have just read, the Union had taken very little casualties and the fort was well armed. Yet the fort's commander had to surrender. Why??? The fort had not yet stocked up on provisions and they ran out of things to eat. Adds a whole new meaning to "Giving in to your hunger.".
IT WAS DARK !!!
Union Colonel Bendix must've been cursing himself on June 10th, 1861. He was leading his men in an attack on fleeing Confederate forces near the town of Little Bethel, when his troops reached the junction of the Hampton and Newport News roads. Nearing the junction, Bendix receives word that someone is approaching their current position. Bendix spies horses heading in their direction and assumes that it must be Confederate cavalry - a logical deduction considering the Union army had no cavalry present on the battlefield. He orders an attack and 10 of the approaching force are killed. UNFORTUNATELY, the Confederate cavalry are actually Colonel Townsend's Union forces being led by two mounted officers. The confusion is sorted out shortly, but not before having major ramifications elsewhere.The Union troops hear the sound of gunfire behind them and, presuming they are being flanked, begin to fall back. The town's Confederate force also hears the gunfire and rushes to join up with the rebels being pursued. The Confederates, now re-enforced, are able to drive off the Union's dawn assault on the town. Lesson to be learned here... If you're not sure, DON'T take a 'shot in the dark'.
SEA SICK ???
Admiral Porter once had to request 600 replacements to fill out the crew of the Union Ironside Benton. They were to replace sailors who were on the sick list.
NEVER ROLL YOUR OWN !!!
September 13th, 1862. Two soldiers from Indiana discover some cigars wrapped in paper whilst searching one of General Lee's encampments. UNFORTUNATELY, the paper is a copy of Special Order 191 - the paper contains all the orders for Lee's army deployment. The information is passed along to Union commander George B. McClellan. McClellan is now aware of Lee's every move. Just goes to show.. smoking certainly can be DANGEROUS.
WHAT'S IN A NAME ???
March 7th, 1863. In an attempt to avenge himself on Confederate cavalry commander, Fitzhugh Lee, Union General William W. Averell raids Fitzhugh's cavalry outposts. It seems that Fitzhugh Lee had upset his former West Point classmate by sending taunting messages to Averell (One such message asked Averell to bring fresh coffee with him if the Yankee infantry ever got enough nerve to cross the Rappahannock River and fight). The battle was going extremely well for Averell, in fact his men are on the brink of over running the whole Confederate force, when SUDDENLY, he receives word that Confederate JEB Stuart has arrived on the battlefield. Knowing Stuart's outstanding battle record, Averell sounds the retreat and his men hightail it back across the Rappahannock. One can only imagine the look on Averell's face when he later learns that, Stuart was indeed there...but his men weren't! Stuart had arrived alone. Just goes to show... A good name is a very handy thing.
THE SILLIEST MAN IN THE WAR !!!
Confederate General Floyd made some...uhm...QUESTIONABLE command decisions. This is the man who appointed the editor of the Lynchburg Republican as his chief of staff, and a sub-editor as his aide-to-camp - it appears the old boy wanted no delays in getting his victory stories printed. These appointments are MUNDANE though compared to his other major one. Floyd appointed a farmer as his cavalry commander, his reason for doing so? Well as a farmer, the gentleman concerned would have to know something about horses! Floyd's other major claim to lameness occurred during his rush to drive Rosecrans (Union) out of Virginia. Floyd made sure he had his newspaper connections with him to record the win, but unfortunately he forgot to bring his baggage trains. As a result, his troops were without vital supplies for a long time.
TEMPTING FATE !!!
During a sporadic exchange of gunfire between Confederate and Union trenches, General John Sedgwick tours the frontline and yells at his troops for hiding from sniper fire. " I'm ashamed off you dodging that way.", he bellowed, "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!". You guessed it... mere seconds later he was hit in the face and killed instantly. Seems that Lady War loves her irony .....
SEND IN THE SUBSTITUTES !!!
Being 'drafted' in the North didn't actually mean you had to go to war. There were two ways to avoid your time in the military, 1) You could pay a $300 fee and be exempted from the current draft, or 2) You could find someone to take your place - and NEVER worry about being drafted again. Americans, never one to let an opportunity slip by, instantly saw the commercial possibilities here - and several people set up "substitute brokers". The brokers would, for a fee of course, find someone and persuade them to take your place in the draft. UNFORTUNATELY, the lure of a quick buck enticed many brokers to maximise their turnover, sending men off to be soldiers who, shall we say, weren't really suitable for a military career. One unit, the 6th New York Heavy Artillery, recruited 57 men - only to find that 17 of them were physically disabled and several others were 'congenital idiots'. GOOD help is hard to find.
More military madness will be added soon :)
Know a Civil War event that belongs here? Email me with the relevant details and I'll add it to the page A.S.A.P. (Please enter Subject as FOULUPS).
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