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Dear Diary,
As I had predicted, I have had a very good sleep last night and woke up refreshed from my ‘soul’. As I ate my breakfast in Laputa, which was warm mixed vegetable soup with peach, lettuce, sea weed and carrot (as well as horse milk from the bot in Tunnel to Unknown got yesterday). I suddenly felt something and requested Rainbow to send me a record on his talk with jh’Scrud yesterday.
I read the record as I ate my dense soup. I think I located another main source of tragedy: leaving everything unplanned and ‘let fate to decide’. Freedom is something to be spent. Freedom exists only if one can make a decision with predictable outcome. Giving others to decide is NOT a type of freedom. Specifically, when macro things are unplanned, individual decision matters little in one’s own fate, and no one has much freedom to speak about. One had to exploit others’ welfare often in order to make sure one’s survival. And everything goes barbarous, just like what happened billion years ago, when no ‘intelligent’ life was around.
I felt immensely messed up because suddenly things were rushing up my heads and the speed I was writing them down was too slow.
I went to the meditation site in the cloud, and discovered I missed the Wind and Water. This place is really full of the power that refreshes me. No wonder Cher cuddlebear had tried to make me to give her a copy.
Things going in the wrong way. Unsatisfied wish. Surprise. Uncontrollable. Anguish. Frustration. Take control over. Power. Search cost. Everyone doing the same. Goals conflicts. Destruction to the weak. Goals conflicts. Clashes of larger and larger power. Larger and larger destruction.
Suddenly I realized that these things had been in my memory. This is about the power of Yin and Yang. The start from chaos giving rise to 2 opposing powers, and each consumes the weaker of the opponent and grows stronger and stronger, larger and larger, until each are powerful enough to consume each other and then really consumed by each other and everything goes back to chaos.
It reminded me of a theory in the other world, which says that too much matter will cause a collapse in space which makes the matter disappear from the space it had originally existed.
Chaos. Chaos. Chaos.
The source is chaos. Chaos can be created when sentient individuals refuse to plan for themselves, and plan from the viewpoint of the group they interact with. Planning for the whole system of interactions is essential.
And I smiled tiredly at the thought that this might be a start of another struggle of the Yin and Yang. This time with ‘planning and order’ v.s. ‘chaos’. And I feel that this struggle seems to have gone on forever.
Till the end of time? Well, time is an illusion, created from rules, aka talons of order, dear Diary. So, no.
Wait, if chaos and the forces of order are a Yin-Yang pair, then what is the thing that gives birth to that?
Le Femme Exotique, Terryn Iceschwartz, Ray Sirion and Lil' Emma were the successful challengers today. Rainbow told me that I can no longer take over him because of his Beekin post. I gladly accepted the fact because the Beekin job had made Rainbow’s life better because now he can serve those who have difficulties in making dreams while he waits for challengers in the Ring. I told him that he should inform my friends about that when he could find them or else they might thought Rainbow was ‘me’, because I had taken him over so often.
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