Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They're Not Out to Get You

My mother says that she cares about me. What a lie. She doesn't care. No one cares. They hate me, all of them. They're not my friends. You're my only friend; you're the only one I can trust. Everyone else thinks they know what's best for me, but they don't. They're just trying to get rid of me. They give me pills, but I'm too smart for that. I hide them, under my mattress. They'll never look there! They think I take the pills, so they wonder why I'm not dead yet. And they keep giving me pills. More and more. And I keep hiding them. Pretty smart, eh?

I don't go to school anymore. I used to, but not anymore. I didn't like it there, and they didn't like me, either. They were nice, sure; people are the nicest when they're planning to kill you. They said they were my friends, but they weren't. You're my friend, not them. I'm glad my mother made me leave that school. She says I'm not getting better, but I know what she really means. I'm not getting worse. Not getting sick. Not dying.

She says that I must eat, my mother does. She has made pork chops. But I would not dream of eating something which she has made for me. It's poison. I know it is. Mary says that the pork chops are delicious. Like I'd believe Mary! I don't even know who this "Mary" is. She says she's my sister, but I know better. And Mary wants me dead more than my mother does. But why is she here? Who is she? What business does she have with my family? Bobby says he's my brother, but he's not, just like Mary's not my sister. And he's in on this whole thing. They say that if I don't eat, I'll die. But I know that if I do eat, I'll die. But they don't tell me that, they want me gone.

It's dark. I don't like the dark. Someone could be in this room with me and I wouldn't even know it. I know you're here, though, friend. You never leave me. You're a part of me, like my arm. If you left, I wouldn't be whole. You're the only one I can trust. Everyone else is against me. But not you, friend, you're different. You're not like the rest of them. You're not evil. You're better than that. I need you. So please don't leave me, friend. If you were gone, I'd be all alone. I'd have to face them by myself, and I couldn't do that, friend. I couldn't face them without you. Wait a minute! What's that noise? They're coming to get me!

They didn't get me last night, thanks to you, friend. They saw you there with me and knew that it would have to wait for another time. They think I'll slip up, sooner or later. That I'll let my guard down, just for a minute, and then they'll make their move. But I won't. I'll never slip up. As long as you're here, they won't dare touch me. So stay with me, friend, stay with me always. Protect me from their evil. Keep me safe.

They tell me that I'm not normal, the kids on my street do. I went out to get the mail, and they told me that I'm "weird." They said I'm not like them. They're right; I'm not. I'm not cruel, not evil. But they are. They don't like me either, but they're better than my "family." Because the kids, they don't pretend to be nice; my "family" does.

Today my father came home for the first time in weeks. My mother said that he went on a trip for work, but I don't buy that. I know the truth. He was trying to find a new way to kill me, since the old ways don't seem to be working. I hope he didn't find a new way. You might not be able to help me this time, friend.

Tammy came over today. Tammy says she's my friend, but she's not. She's not like you; she's like them. She's against me, too. I didn't talk to her because I was afraid I'd say something I shouldn't. I just sat there, listening to her talk. She doesn't know about you, friend. She thinks I'm lonely, but I'm not, I have you. I don't need her. I don't need any of them. I only need you. Don't ever leave me, friend. I couldn't do anything if it wasn't for you. So please don't leave. If you were gone, I'd be no more.

They told me to go to the park today. I didn't go, of course. But I guess they expected that. They all left, so I thought I was safe. I was wrong. They tried to kill me anyway. I was sitting there, watching television. That's when they came. The flames. They came in the window, heading right for me. But I was too quick for them. I ran out of the house, untouched by the flames. You were there, friend, you told me that the flames were coming. You saved my life again, friend.

They said the flames were caused by electricity. But I know better. They caused the flames, I know they did. It was them, all right, not electricity.

They're going to kill me soon. I know they are. I heard them talking. They're coming. Maybe even tonight. So stay with me, friend, stay with me tonight. Keep them away. Don't let them hurt me. It's dark now, the light is gone. They'll be coming soon, coming to get me. Are you here, friend? Are you here to protect me? To save me from them? To keep me safe? To keep them away? Help me, friend, please help me. You're the only one who can save me. I hear footsteps, they're getting closer with each passing second. I know they are, friend. Get ready! They're coming up the stairs. Closer, closer. They're upstairs now. They're walking down the hall�they're outside my door! It's opening! My door is opening! This is it, friend-you must protect me!

It's my mother, can you see her, friend? She sees you! She knows you're here! Yes! She's leaving. She's gone now. We're safe, friend, we're safe. She's gone. Thank you, friend. Once again you have saved my life. Just stay with me every night and we will be okay. Stay with me and I'll be safe. But if you ever leave�I cannot even think about what will happen if you leave. I'll be gone, my life will end, and you'll be all alone.

Tammy came again today. I told her that I know what she's up to. She acted innocent, like she had no idea what I was talking about. But she did. She's with them; she's helping them.

It's dark again. This day has gone by very quickly. I'm scared, lying here in the dark. Are you here, friend? Are you with me? Friend? Friend? Friend, where are you? What if they come tonight? Who will protect me? Who? I'm scared! Friend? Oh, no! They're coming! Friend? Where are you? I can hear the footsteps. They're walking up the stairs. Now they're walking down the hall. Friend? Friend? Where have you gone? Why have you left me? They're outside my door now. Friend? They're opening my door. Friend? It's my mother again. Friend? She's walking in this time. She knows I am all alone. Friend? Mama? What's that in your hand, Mama? Friend? Please help me, friend! Mama, no! The pain! The knife, it's in my body! I am being sliced, chopped up. Oh the pain! I am dead. I am gone. I am no more. Their wish has come true. But where were you, friend? Where? If you had been with me, I'd be alive right now. I wouldn't be here, on the edge of nothingness. I blame you, friend. I am gone, never to return. And it's all your fault.







Story/Essay Index 1
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws