Enemy of My Enemy -
Judas Kiss II

by  Kath Tate

Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager and its characters are the property of Paramount. This story does not mean to infringe upon the trademarks or copyrights of Paramount.

EOME is a series of Voyager stories which are based on the premise that the Maquis ship was not destroyed in "Caretaker." Given that there is no name in canon for the Maquis ship, this series calls it "Fides," which is Latin for "Faith."

The order of the EOME series:
Confederation
Follow the Leader
Casualty and Confession
Food for Thought
Change of Command
Cracks in Time's Mirror
Fides Violare
Fletcher Christian Was in Starfleet
Far From My Home
Judas Kiss Part One
Judas Kiss Part Two

Please do not distribute without Kath's permission. Thanks.

Kath's notes:  While most of the EOME stories have been written so that you can read them separately, this one requires that you have read Part One, or you just won't know what the heck is going on!  Thanks muchly to Jen for her editorial comments.  Thanks always to Sheena and Vicki for their input. =)

*****

PART TWO

*****

**Captain's Log: It's been three days since the death of Kurt Bendera. In that time we've managed to complete repairs enough to continue our journey. I have us following the trail of Fides, in hopes that by the time we catch up to them we will have some answers about this shocking crime. We found evidence that they stopped at an M-class planet, most likely to restock their supplies.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of resentment building towards the Maquis for leaving us in such a vulnerable state. It saddens me that there is not more sympathy for those who are grieving the loss of a dear friend.**

*****

Janeway glanced around the damaged junction in the jeffries tube, taking in the clean up crew, as well as the burn marks on the bulkhead. She stepped gingerly around Ensign Vorik to get to Tuvok, who was also surveying the scene. His arms crossed, the Vulcan had an expression of grimness that seemed more pronounced than usual. If he'd been human, she would have called it frustration.

"Well?" she asked. "What have you found?"

"The fire very effectively destroyed any evidence of the crime that might have been left behind," Tuvok told her. "I've ordered Lieutenant Carey to have his team begin repairs. There is nothing to be learned here."

"Walk with me," Janeway said, after a moment. They exited the jeffries tubes for the relative spaciousness of the main corridor.

"What else have you learned?" she asked.

"I have interviewed all the engineering staff. While it is possible to eliminate some from suspicion, many were too busy to keep tabs on the others. Lieutenant Carey cannot vouch for the whereabouts of everyone on duty that morning."

"And there's always the possibility it wasn't someone from engineering," Janeway pointed out.

"Yes," agreed Tuvok shortly.

"If only we could understand the motivation for killing him," Janeway said, as they entered a turbolift.

"There are many possibilities, Captain," Tuvok informed her. "He may have been a target simply because he was a Maquis. Or he may have offended or threatened someone to such a degree that the person felt violence was necessary. His closeness to Chakotay may have been a contributing factor. Or he may simply have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. A random, senseless act of violence."

"So many questions," muttered Janeway.

"I find that last possibility the most ... disturbing," confessed Tuvok.

"Who benefited from his death? What was gained by it?" asked Janeway.

Tuvok considered her questions for a moment, his left eyebrow raised.

"If events occurred as the murderer intended, then the result of his death was the end of our association with the Maquis. Given that he was a Maquis, this seems to be a potential motivation for killing him."

"So his friendship with Chakotay could be what got him killed," whispered Janeway, remembering the pain in the Maquis leader's eyes. Chakotay may be still an enigma to her, but she felt she knew him well enough to appreciate the guilt he would feel over this.

"Lieutenant Carey did say that Mr. Bendera's respect for protocol and rank was ... somewhat lacking," Tuvok said, as they exited the lift and continued walking. "But the lieutenant also admitted that he was an extraordinarily useful member of the team. Innovative, I believe was the word he used."

"Particularly when cooking," Janeway murmured, with a sad smile.

"I beg your pardon Captain?" queried Tuvok. She shook her head slightly and so he resumed his report. "From some of the other interviews I conducted, I can only conclude that Mr. Bendera was one of the most well liked of the Maquis crewmembers who spent time serving on Voyager. It was he who instigated the hoverball tournaments, if you recall."

"Yes, I recall," Janeway agreed, absently, also recalling how she and Chakotay had over reacted to the rumours at that time. "Tuvok, you must have known him from your time on Fides. What was he like?" she asked abruptly.

Tuvok appeared a bit surprised by the question. He paused and then spoke.

"He was irreverent. Volatile. At times, irrational. But he was also very intelligent, with a keen wit. I agree with Lieutenant Carey's assessment of him as innovative. He was quick to joke and laugh, which made him very popular with the other crewmembers. Very good at boosting morale, you might say."

"I can see that," Janeway said, thinking of the times she'd met Kurt. "And he and Chakotay were very close."

"Yes," responded Tuvok, even though she hadn't phrased it as a question. "I am not certain how they met, or what transpired to affect their bond of friendship, but they were very close."

"We have to get to the bottom of this, Tuvok," Janeway said, her voice moving from conversational to command tone. "We owe him that."

"I must respectfully suggest, Captain, that our motivation for uncovering the perpetrator of this murder be the protection of our crew and the pursuit of justice," Tuvok stated, with a slightly disapproving note.

Janeway looked over at him, her eyes sad.

"Oh Tuvok," she said. "How hard it's been for you to work with criminals all these months! Despite your protests to the contrary, you don't like Chakotay very much. Of course we are pursuing justice. As for the protection of our crew, if the purpose of killing Kurt was to sever our alliance, then our crew has nothing to fear from this murderer."

They came to a stop outside the captain's quarters. Janeway turned to face Tuvok before she entered her room.

"Someone he cared about very much was killed by one of us, Tuvok. We owe him the truth, even if it is small comfort now. I can't give him his friend back, but I will give him that."

*****

Paris stood just inside the door of the hydroponics bay, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness. The garden was in its night cycle, with most of the lighting off. He could see a flickering glow coming from the far corner and figured that was where she was.

He wished Kes was here too. The young Ocampan woman had a knack for healing, and not just the body. Her empathy was plainly obvious, making it easy for people to confide in her. She was extraordinarily helpful on a ship with no counsellor aboard.

However, Kes was not in the garden this evening so Tom was on his own. He knew that Ensign Lavoie was here as he had tracked her location with the computer. He'd chosen an off-duty time to speak with her, as he felt it would be less threatening, less like a reprimand.

The truth was, Tom didn't know what he was doing.

Tom's love, Tom's talent, was flying. He was a pilot first and foremost. But he'd discovered something since being given his field commission by Captain Janeway. Being the senior conn officer had responsibilities that had nothing to do with the helm. Suddenly he had a staff of officers underneath him, whose conduct reflected on him. As if he wasn't good at getting himself into trouble!

Not only did he have to fly the ship, but he also had to submit shift reports, personnel reports, and as a department head he had to work out preliminary duty schedules and crew evaluations. It all came down to a mountain of administration that smothered Paris, who did his best to minimize the task by trying to forget he was responsible for the others who took the helm.

It was not uncommon for problems like the one he was having with Ensign Lavoie to be handled by the first officer. It was one of those unenviable administrative tasks that fell within his jurisdiction. However, Tuvok believed that the first disciplinary action should always be taken by the supervising officer.

It worked better that way, Harry assured Paris, when the pilot had complained to his friend about the problem.

Tom didn't want to get Suzie in trouble with Tuvok, but he wasn't altogether confident in his own ability to solve the matter without losing a friend.

She must have heard his approach, but her back was to him, her head bowed. The flickering light came from a tiny lantern. Tom walked around to face her and then sat opposite her on the floor, not speaking. She was crying.

Now Tom really regretted not seeking out Kes to bring her along for this.

She looked up, right at him, but Tom wasn't sure she was seeing him.

"I loved him," she said, softly. Then she smiled slightly, but it came across strained on her face. "There. I've said it out loud and nothing bad happened. I loved him. I loved him so much." She bowed her head again and the last words were only a whisper.

At first Tom didn't know who she meant, but when his brain finally clicked in he drew a sharp breath. She was mourning the murdered Maquis!

Her hand swept over the glow of the lantern, and curled back around as though she was trying to scoop up the light in her palm. Tears clung to her eyelashes, then fell suddenly down her cheeks, lit up by the flickering flame like jewels. Tom didn't know what to say.

"My grandmother gave me this lantern," she told him. "She asked me to light it when she died so that her soul could find its way to heaven. I'm not a very religious person, I never went to a church or anything like that, but when she died I ... I lit it for her. I lit it for her because she asked me. And I hope that it helped her in some way, even just knowing that I would do it."

"I'm sure it did," murmured Tom, feeling useless.

"I don't know what his beliefs were," she confessed. "I don't know if he wanted a light to heaven, but I thought I'd better try it. Just in case. Just in case."

"Suzie." Tom reached across the light to touch her arm. "Suzie, why didn't you say anything?"

"What could I say? Who could I say it to?" she asked bitterly. "The word Maquis is not a popular one these days. Who would understand? I have to work on this vessel possibly for the rest of my life. I don't want to be ostracized for loving the enemy."

"He wasn't the enemy," Tom said. "And I'm not the only one who feels that way."

"I'm sorry," she told him. "I haven't been working at peak efficiently lately."

"That's ok," he reassured her, despite his reason for tracking her down. "We can manage."

*****

"Are you sure?" asked Janeway, a week later in the sickbay.

"No," replied the Doctor. "Our findings are incomplete and inconclusive. But based on the data that we have available... "

"Captain," interjected Tuvok when the Doctor's voice trailed off, "the plasma fire in the jeffries tube all but obliterated any physical evidence of the crime. The only information we've been able to collect is from the initial scans done on Mr. Bendera's body."

"I wish I had been able to complete the autopsy," the Doctor added.

Janeway watched the data circle on the computer console. It was like a puzzle, missing pieces but still showing enough so that a picture was coming to mind. She didn't like the picture.

"Based on the little evidence you have, are we able to determine who his assailant was?" she finally asked.

"Yes and no," said the Doctor, tapping the console to shift the display slightly. "We have been able to determine that it was not a member of Voyager's crew."

Janeway blinked with surprise as she absorbed this.

"Do you realize what you're saying Doctor?" she asked, shocked. He raised an eyebrow.

"Certainly I do Captain. I am saying that Mr. Bendera was killed by a member of the Maquis."

"I must say, I'm finding this very hard to believe," Janeway admitted. "As much as it ... disgusts me to think that someone on my crew could be responsible for this, it really stretches the realms of possibility to imagine the Maquis killing their own."

"I have the crew's medical files to cross reference to our findings," the Doctor explained. "I even took a look at the DNA of Mr. Neelix and Kes, despite the obvious remote possibility that either of them were involved. Unfortunately, not many of the Maquis are in my medical database."

"Considering how reluctant Commander Chakotay was for the autopsy to proceed, is it possible that he was responsible?" questioned Tuvok.

Janeway shook her head looking down at the floor with some sadness. She returned her gaze to her first officer.

"Only you, Tuvok, could make such a suggestion seriously," she commented. "I think it was obvious that Chakotay was reacting out of grief and anger, rather than any desire to cover up evidence."

"It was not Commander Chakotay," stated the Doctor. "That is about the only certainty I can give you. He is one of the few Maquis who spent any time being treated in sickbay, after his unfortunate engineering accident. I have plenty of DNA scans on file for him. He was not the killer here."

"Whoever committed this murder tried to cover it up with a plasma fire. Is it possible that the evidence you found was planted as another kind of cover-up?" asked Janeway.

The Doctor frowned considering her suggestion.

"If our findings pointed conclusively in the direction of another crewmember I could entertain that possibility, but it is dubious. You don't just carry around DNA to drop conveniently at a crime scene."

"It is unlikely that we will be able to determine any more without further examination of the body," Tuvok concluded.

Janeway turned over all their findings in her mind. It was unthinkable that someone had been murdered on her ship. It was more unbelievable that the killer was a member of Chakotay's crew! That person could kill again. She remembered Chakotay's reaction when Tuvok had suggested that it wasn't a Starfleet officer who had pulled the trigger. She needed something more conclusive if she was going to make him listen to her.

"Where is the body now?" asked Kes. The three of them turned to her with surprise. "I mean, Fides doesn't have the ability to store his body in stasis, so they must have disposed of it somehow."

"A coffin tube, perhaps," mused the Doctor aloud. Janeway gave a snort of unamused laughter.

"I could be wrong, but something tells me Fides doesn't have any coffin tubes either." Janeway suddenly recalled Chakotay on the holodeck, explaining spirit guides and vision quests to her. He was a man who lived in space but who revered the natural earth. Far from the bones of my people, he'd said. She looked up quickly as the idea hit her. "They buried him."

"Captain?" questioned Tuvok.

"That's what they were doing on that planet. Not collecting supplies, but having a funeral. Maybe I don't know them very well, but I know Chakotay enough to know he'd rather commit his friend's body to the ground, than to leave it floating in space. Particularly so far away from home ..."

"If we were to recover the body at this stage, would an autopsy still be useful Doctor?" Tuvok asked.

"It's hard to say for sure until I can examine it. But any information we get at this point is more than we have right now. And right now we seem to have more questions than answers."

"Get to the bridge, have us come about and return to that planet," Janeway ordered Tuvok, who nodded and left sickbay. Silently, Janeway sent a request for forgiveness to Chakotay and the spirits in which he believed for disturbing his friend's grave. It was not her intention to go against his wishes or beliefs. She hoped he would know that it was only because she had no other choice.

*****

Paris found her in a shuttlebay, performing a routine check on a shuttle's navigation system. She liked routine tasks these days.

"Suzie," he called, to get her attention. She looked up, startled. "Hey, how are things?" he asked awkwardly, as he got closer.

"I'm ok," she responded unconvincingly.

"I thought you should know, they found Kurt's body. The doctor's examining it now."

"Oh!" The padd and diagnostic tool she'd been holding clattered to the floor. She crouched to retrieve them with shaking hands. Tom helped her. "I'm so clumsy," she muttered, not looking at him.

"I brought you this." He held out his hand to her. In his palm rested a silver locket on a chain. She took it cautiously.

"What is it?" she asked, dangling it from her fingers.

"It was found with ... him," Tom told her gently. "As we're not going to be able to return to the grave, I thought maybe you could hold onto it."

Suzie clasped the locket in her left hand, holding it tightly for a moment. Then she opened her grip, with palm up, and pooled the chain around the oval.

"Thank you Tom," she said, standing and looking at him. "Thank you. You don't know ... I can't tell you what it means to me to have something that belonged to him."

Tom stood and gave her a sympathetic smile.

"I thought you should be the one to have it."

*****

Janeway sat at her desk, her fingers idly tracing the outline of the wooden carving. Tuvok had brought it to her. He'd found it on the grave and assumed it had some significance to the burial, so he'd brought it back to Voyager with the body.

A bird. A bird holding the small Maquis ship. Janeway wasn't sure exactly what it meant, but she could guess. Just as she could guess who had carved the intricate design and placed it on the grave.

They had returned to their hunt for Fides. As her hands held the wooden totem, Janeway tried to imagine the words she could use to explain to Chakotay what she'd done and why, and who was responsible for his friend's death. She couldn't imagine any words that would be appropriate.

When, later, the doctor reported his findings to her, she was still holding the totem. Placing it on her desk carefully she tried not to notice her trembling hands.

"That's not possible," she said, even as her mind acknowledged the possibility. In fact, it made a lot of sense.

"Captain, I assure you, I have been over the data several times ..." the doctor began patiently.

"Go over it again!" she ordered. "There can be no mistakes about this, Doctor!"

She thought he might argue, perhaps point out he didn't make mistakes, but he only nodded seriously and closed the comm link.

*****

Janeway did not expect the relief that flooded through her upon seeing Fides in orbit. They had tracked the Maquis ship to this planet but when sensors had picked up Kazon ships as well Janeway had feared the worst. Now she frowned, wondering what was happening between the Maquis and the Kazon. What was Chakotay up to?

"Hail Fides, Mr. Kim," she ordered quietly. It was time for some answers.

*****

"Torres! I'm picking up Voyager!" Ayala's voice was tight with tension. The Kazon ship immediately changed position to intercept the Starfleet vessel.

"Shields up!" ordered B'Elanna, cursing inwardly. If Voyager and the Kazon got into a battle where did that put Fides? Chakotay had said not to fire unless fired upon, and she would follow those orders. But who, she wondered, would be shooting?

"They're hailing us," Ayala told her.

"Damn! Damn damn damn DAMN!" She thumped a fist down on the console. "Ok, ok." She took a deep breath. "Put her through."

Janeway filled the screen. Torres could just make out the top of Tom Paris's head in front of the captain, and in behind that must be Harry Kim.

"Captain Janeway, what a surprise," B'Elanna said. "I didn't expect to see you this far off course from the Alpha Quadrant."

Janeway was also surprised. Surprised to see B'Elanna Torres and not Chakotay on the bridge of Fides. Kazon looming ... where was he?

For a fleeting second Janeway feared something had happened. Had they arrived too late? But just as her heart leapt to her throat, Janeway dismissed that idea. She knew Torres fairly well by now and if Chakotay were hurt or ... worse, B'Elanna would be very upset.

"I need to speak with Commander Chakotay," Janeway said. "It is very important."

"He's not available," Torres said shortly. "So you'll have to speak with me."

"Very well," agreed Janeway after a brief pause. "I'm coming over."

Torres blinked with surprise as Janeway signed off.

"Chakotay to Torres!" came from the communications console. "Hold your position. Do not get involved in any conflict between Voyager and the Kazon. Repeat, do not get involved!"

"Understood," acknowledged B'Elanna.

*****

When Chakotay disappeared before her very eyes Seska waited a few seconds to see if the transporter's beam was going to envelop her. After realizing it was not, she turned slowly to face the Kazon. They were standing just out of earshot, looking suspiciously at the spot where Chakotay had been. The whole transporter concept was miraculous to them, Seska reminded herself.

She dismissed thoughts of the Kazon warriors easily and focussed on the man with power. Cullah. He was shrewd. She suspected his intentions were to use the Maquis to gain access to Alpha Quadrant technology, with or without Chakotay's cooperation.

But Seska would have to tread carefully to have any influence in such a misogynist, patriarchal society. Flatter the Maj's ego, let him think it was all his plan. He'd be as malleable as all the others.

Chakotay didn't respond to such tactics. Seska had found that out when she first met him. He could see right through her flattery and charm and he reacted coldly to it. Manipulating him took a much subtler approach. A bit of a challenge maybe, but in the end she'd gotten what she was after. She always did.

She explained with a respectful tone that Chakotay had been called back to their ship and he would be returning soon.

'At least, I hope so,' thought Seska, glancing up at the sky, wishing she could see what was happening up there.

*****

As she watched Chakotay rematerialize on the transporter platform, Torres held her breath. The Maquis leader had been in a foul mood of late and his temper easily kindled. She waited for an explosive reaction. He did not disappoint her.

"Torres! What the hell is going on? I told you to wait for my instructions!"

Then Chakotay noticed Janeway standing off to one side, waiting for him. Janeway here on Fides, not on Voyager, with a Kazon ship in attack position ...

"Don't blame Ms. Torres, Commander," Janeway said quickly. "I pressured her into bringing you back here."

"There's something you need to know," burst out Torres, a bit defensively.

"I'm a little busy at the moment!" snapped Chakotay.

"We found the murderer," Janeway told him.

Chakotay drew a sharp breath and stepped from the transporter pad. The captain was holding out a tricorder to him, but his arms couldn't seem to reach out to take it. It was a medical tricorder, he realized.

"When the doctor performed the autopsy he made a startling discovery," Janeway continued.

Chakotay's eyes flashed with anger.

"The autopsy?!" He advanced on the captain menacingly, but she didn't even flinch.

"It was necessary to find the truth."

"And what truth did you find, Captain Janeway?" he asked coldly.

She held up the tricorder again.

"The doctor found the DNA of the killer on Kurt's body. He was able to determine that Mr. Bendera was killed by ... a Cardassian."

"That's crazy!" exploded Chakotay. "There aren't any Cardassians in the Delta Quadrant!" The obvious conclusion struck him suddenly, shocking him. He paled. "Unless ... unless we brought one with us ... "

"Every member of my crew, including Neelix and Kes, is in the medical database. The doctor checked and rechecked. It's not one of them."

Chakotay spun away from her, his eyes searching for a neutral spot on which to focus while his mind tried to get a grip on this information. They flickered briefly over B'Elanna's troubled face and kept going.

"Then it must be one of us," Chakotay said, stunned. "I don't believe it. I can't believe it."

"Ch'kotay," B'Elanna stepped away from the transporter console. "I think it might be Seska."

His eyes, dark and angry, snapped back to her face.

"What? You can't be serious! Seska's Bajoran ... "

"Listen to me!" B'Elanna urged. "When Paris and I were lost on that other Voyager, I ... I broke into the ship's logs. I wanted to find out what happened to the other Maquis. I found out Kurt had been killed in engineering - plasma burns. And Seska ... Seska was a Cardassian spy. She'd left Voyager to defect to the Kazon and was later killed when they tried to take the ship."

"No," Chakotay said. "No, it's not possible."

B'Elanna took a tentative step towards him.

"I didn't say anything before because I couldn't believe it either. Their universe seemed so different from ours I convinced myself that it wasn't true. But there are so many parallels. Kurt dying, Seska wanting to ally with Kazon, ... a Cardassian being involved."

Chakotay looked at her incredulously.

"You should have said something!"

"Why? You wouldn't have believed it anyway," Torres said bitterly.

Chakotay was shaking his head, his hand clenching and unclenching.

"No," he whispered. "No, I suppose not. But ... it doesn't make any sense! Why would she kill him? Why?"

Janeway came close to his side now and took one of his hands. She placed the medical tricorder against his palm.

"I don't know why. And I don't know that it is Seska. Here is the doctor's data. He's calibrated this tricorder to do a cellular scan for DNA. Go back there and find out," she told him gently.

His fingers curled tightly around the equipment. He stared down at his hands for a moment, then he abruptly returned to the transporter pad.

"This time wait for my instructions," he ordered B'Elanna sternly. She moved to activate the transport then hesitated.

"Be careful, old man. If it is Seska, she's dangerous."

He nodded stiffly and she initiated the beam out.

'Seska has always been dangerous,' Chakotay thought bitterly.

*****

Seska was leaning up against one of the boulders, her arms crossed, her face darkened by a scowl, when Chakotay reappeared on the planet's surface. Behind her, she heard the muttering of the Kazon at his arrival but she paid them no attention. Springing up from her rocky perch, she stepped closer to Chakotay.

Something had happened; she could tell by the look on his face. It was wary ... hurt ... angry.

"Chakotay? What's going on?" she asked, concerned.

Chakotay looked at her, trying to sort out the possibilities and not finding any of them fathomable.  Here before him stood a Bajoran, one of his crew, a Maquis ... his lover. Yet he was supposed to believe she was really a spy? A Cardassian? A murderer?

He didn't speak but held up Janeway's tricorder to scan Seska as she came close to him. Seska looked puzzled, and a little amused.

"What are you doing?"

Chakotay finished his scan. He'd seen enough.

"Janeway wanted to speak with me," he told Seska. He was surprised at how normal his voice sounded. "She's found Kurt's killer."

Seska's eyes widened with surprise.

"Who is it? Did she confine him to the brig? She should have spaced him!"

Chakotay was momentarily thrown by Seska's cold, harsh attitude. Then it occurred to him sadly that it was entirely in keeping with her character. She had always had a vicious streak in her that he had chosen to ignore. He had never acknowledged it before now.

He tried to remember the cold hazy rage he'd felt upon learning that Kurt had been murdered. If he had known then the perpetrator he might have been tempted to space him. The anger and anguish he'd felt would surely have blocked out any reason in his mind.

Now he longed for the rage to return, to burn coldly in his gut, to make him feel something ... anything. He felt like he'd stumbled in the dark and was falling, with no ground to catch him, hanging perpetually with the anticipation of a hard impact.

Without thinking, his hands lifted up to rest on Seska's neck and he lightly traced his fingers along her jaw, her cheekbones, circling her temples, across her forehead and down the ridges of her nose. It was a gentle touch and one he'd given her many times in the past. Her face felt no different to him now that he knew it was only a mask.

Seska's expression softened at his touch and she lifted her own hands to return the favour. But Chakotay stepped back beyond her reach, his own hands falling away from her face.

"The surgeons in the Obsidian Order do very nice work," he said, quietly.

"What the hell are you talking about?" demanded Seska, her forehead creasing with perplexity. "Chakotay! What is going on?"

"You killed him. You killed Kurt. You left behind some evidence, you see. Your DNA. Your Cardassian DNA!"

Now Seska glanced at the tricorder on Chakotay's belt, realization in her expression. A denial burned on her lips but she shut her mouth before it came out. He knew. There was no point in trying to convince him otherwise.

They regarded each other warily for a moment and when Chakotay finally realized she wasn't even going to attempt to talk her way out of it he stepped further away.

"Why?" His voice was a terrible whisper. "Why did you kill him?"

"You were entrenching us further and further with that Starfleet bitch!" spat Seska. "I had to get you to break away from your misguided alliance with Voyager. We were going nowhere fast as lackeys to that Federation Captain!"

Chakotay closed his eyes wishing he could close out her words as easily. Kurt had been used as a pawn to manipulate him into leaving Voyager. Oh my friend, how restless is your spirit now?

"Don't you see, Chakotay?" Seska stepped forward, her tone more conciliatory, almost pleading. "I did it for the good of all of us. You made a bad decision allying with them. I was just setting us on the right course again."

"The way you set us on the right course with the Cardassian military?" he asked, anger beginning to surface from the void of nothingness. "The way you lied to us all? The way you used me to gain your own ends? Was that all to put us on the right course?!"

"You don't understand!" she burst out. "I didn't mean to fall in love with you. That was a ... complication."

"Yeah, I'll bet," he snorted, his laughter harsh.

She reached out to him with both hands but he stumbled back, his feet fumbling for traction on the stony ground. Suddenly the thought of her hands, her Cardassian hands, on his body seemed repulsive. She stopped trying to reach him then, her expression changing from affection to contempt and disgust.

"You would spend you life as an underling to that Federation-preaching holier than thou fool?! I thought you had more backbone, Chakotay!"

"I am no one's underling," stated Chakotay coldly.

"That captain would have let us starve. She would have imprisoned you for saving our lives! She places Federation policy above the welfare of her crew!"

"She also shares her supplies, her medical resources, her recreational facilities, and her crew's knowledge and experience with us," Chakotay countered. "She fires her big guns to protect us from our enemies."

"Enemies we wouldn't even have if we weren't allied with her!" pointed out Seska. "Federation rules! Federation nobility! Federation compassion? What has she ever done that wasn't in her own interests and at the expense of us?" Seska's face so matched her sneer that for a brief second she actually looked Cardassian to Chakotay. "Why, she even destroyed, of her own free will, her only method back to the Alpha Quadrant! A Cardassian captain would never have made that decision. A Cardassian captain would have returned Voyager home!"

"Yes, I suppose a Cardassian captain would," Chakotay agreed, the words sticking in his throat. "You obviously have very strong feelings against Janeway. Why didn't you ... why didn't you ... express them to me? Why did you feel you had to kill to get my attention?"

"I did express them to you!" Seska protested. "More than once. And each time I found myself slicing leola root in Neelix's kitchen for my trouble."

Chakotay turned away. He could remember quite clearly the times Seska had tried to convince him to take control of the Starfleet vessel. How clouded was his judgement to think that a few rounds of kitchen duty would cure those ills? He'd been a fool.

"Do you think I wanted to hurt Kurt?" she asked. "I cared about him ..."

Chakotay turned so fast and gripped her arms so hard the last words came out a gasp. He shook her.

"Don't you ever lie to me about that! You can deceive me about your identity, your motivation, your feelings for me. But don't you EVER try to tell me you cared about Kurt Bendera when you murdered him for the sake of an alliance!"

Chakotay gave her a final shake and shoved her from him. Her boots slipped with the tiny stones under them and she fell back on her hands. Chakotay's glance took in the Kazon, who had been waiting impatiently and watching their interaction with interest. Cullah's dark eyes gleamed with disdain. Taking a deep breath Chakotay hit his comm badge.

"Chakotay to Torres. Standby for transport."

Torres acknowledged him as Seska scrambled to her feet. Chakotay jerked his head in the direction of the Kazon.

"You wanted an alliance with them? You've got one."

Seska's eyes widened slightly as she understood his meaning. She shook her head with contempt.

"You're a fool, Chakotay. I can't imagine how I ever loved you."

"No, neither can I," he told her softly. Then, "Torres, one to beam up."

After his shimmering particles had disappeared Seska charged the spot where he'd stood, screaming in rage and frustration. All that she'd worked for was gone. He'd abandoned her to these neanderthal beasts.

He would regret doing this to her, she vowed. If she had to spend the rest of her life plotting her revenge she would.

*****

Torres was a little surprised at Chakotay's order to beam up only one person. While she figured that any Kazon alliance was probably not in the cards anymore, thank goodness, she hadn't expected Chakotay to just leave Seska behind.

He stood still on the transporter pad a moment longer than necessary, as if waiting for his molecules to be truly in place. Then he slowly stepped off and handed Janeway back the tricorder without making eye contact.

Janeway opened the device briefly to see the results of the scan. So, B'Elanna had been right then. Well, that much was already obvious from Chakotay's demeanor.

"Get to the bridge," he ordered Torres with a harsh tone. "Resume course to the Alpha Quadrant."

Torres hesitated, catching Janeway's eye for a second.

"Ch'kotay? What about Seska? Are we leaving her with the Kazon?"

"Yes. It's what she wanted after all." His voice was bitter.

"Is justice best served by giving her what she wants?" asked Janeway, surprised that Chakotay would have taken this approach.

He looked at her coldly.

"If you beam that woman aboard this ship I will kill her," he stated flatly. "I don't think justice is best served by that. Besides, I have no doubt that a short time as a guest to the Kazon will seem like an eternity in hell to Seska. And that's justice enough for me."

Janeway pictured Seska in Voyager's brig. Knowing how cunning and manipulative the Cardassian woman was, she would always be a threat even if incarcerated. Janeway pictured Chakotay in Voyager's brig for murdering Seska, and all the potential repercussions of that. Perhaps he was right and the best situation was to leave Seska with the Kazon, a race that shared aggression but little else with Cardassians.

However, she doubted that Tuvok was going to understand this.

Chakotay had turned to the door, but he stopped with Janeway's voice.

"Commander! Since we're both heading in the same direction, I hope you don't mind if we join you?" She held her breath, uncertain of his response.

He did not turn around, but remained in the door with his back to her.

"I don't mind," he said finally, so softly she barely heard him. Then he left.

*****

Her shift over, Suzie Lavoie entered her quarters slowly and sank into the small sofa. Her roommate was not in. She'd probably gone straight to the Mess Hall for dinner, as was her custom. Suzie wasn't feeling very hungry.

Her dark eyes fell on the lantern, placed on the table. She pulled herself forward to rest with her knees on the floor, and lit it carefully. Calling for the lights to dim, she watched the flickering flame for a moment. Then she reached a hand under the collar of her turtleneck and fished out Kurt's locket.

It was not regulation to wear such jewelry and if she was caught by Lieutenant Tuvok he would not approve. Somehow, she felt Lieutenant Paris wouldn't mind.

Each morning she put it on, feeling its cold turn to warmth from the contact with her skin. Each evening she retrieved it from under her shirt and hung it around the brightly burning lantern. And as each day went by, the pain was less and less.

*****

**Captain's Personal Log: We have resumed our course home and resumed our former relationship with the Maquis. I will admit, despite all the problems we've had since joining with them, it is good to be back together. However, the events since the murder have taken their toll on our alliance. Where friendships and bonds were forming before, there is now a sense of unease and awkwardness. I've noticed that the Maquis seem less likely to come to Voyager unless assigned for a duty shift. Commander Chakotay rarely comes, even for the daily senior staff meetings he used to attend regularly. I can only hope time and distance travelled will help heal these rifts and bring us closer again. Sadly, the man who would have greatly helped was the victim of Seska's horrible crime.

Commander Chakotay. I must confess ... I'm worried about him.

When we first began our alliance he worried me. His crew, his beliefs, his method of leading people ... they were all threatening to me. Now, looking back I can see so clearly that he was never the threat. He ... he believes in people and trusts them and cares about them deeply. And this has burned him, not only through the loss of a friend to death, but the loss of a colleague to deception and lies. No, let's be honest - Seska was more than a colleague to him; he admitted as much to me himself.

I would hate to see that caring man withdraw from those he loves for fear of being so hurt again. I envy him his closeness to his crew. They are his family. So far from home they must be a comfort for him, a support at times, a reason to continue towards our goal.

Some day the wounds will heal and he will come back. I can wait. I have plenty of time.**

*****

Chakotay lay on his side in the lower bunk, his dark eyes open but unfocussed, staring at the wall. His thoughts were a jumble of old memories as he sought a happy time. But all his memories seemed tarnished now by Seska's duplicity, her betrayal, her violence. Even memories of Kurt twisted inside Chakotay, as he couldn't help but feel responsible for Bendera's death.

If only he'd not been so taken in by Seska. If only he hadn't let her have so much influence over him. If only he'd never allied with Janeway, pushing Seska to murder his best friend.

If only ...

All the joyful times with Seska, intimate moments, laughter, comfort had been turned to bitterness now that he knew she was a Cardassian. He had loved her once. He couldn't deny that, even now when the remembrance of the feeling caused him such pain and guilt.

Had she ever loved him? Or had it all been false? It seemed impossible to believe that anyone, Cardassian or not, could be capable of such brutal indifference to life and also be able to love at the same time.

She'd just been using him all along.

Shame, anger, guilt - it was all rolling into one big burning feeling in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to kill her, but he knew that wouldn't make those feelings go away; it would only make them worse. Still, there was a flicker of satisfaction at the thought of his hands around Seska's throat. The expression on her face ... would it be fear?

He thought he had seen fear on her face, briefly, before it had been masked by scorn and contempt when he left her with the Kazon. He didn't know what was real with Seska anymore, or what was illusion.

Chakotay rolled onto his back, his eyes shifting to the upper bunk. Sleep was not coming to him tonight.

He left the light on.

Go to the eleventh EOME story Wi-na-de-ya-ho (A New Day)

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