You're probably saying to yourself right now, "Is he referring to freedom toast?" Well, since I'm not in the business of disappointing people, YES!
"Dear Jacob,
I really enjoy visiting your site. I have been a huge fan of Seagal's ever since his first movie. I think your site has a lot of the important aspects of his life and persona, but I couldn't find anything on freedom toast. Are you going to include it sometime in the future?"
Deborah Clark from England writes:
"Hi Jacob,
I just wanted to say that you and your brother are such cuties! Your site is great, although I couldn't find any information on freedom toast. Keep up the good work and let me know when you get that grapefruit farm - I'll come and work for ya!"
and Carlos Sanchez from Mexico writes:
"Jacob,
I was wondering if you could help a brother out. I'm doing a college thesis paper on Steven Seagal. Your site has nearly all the information I need, but nothing on freedom toast. Any chance of putting up a section on it? Other than that, love your work my man."
Steven Seagal realized that toast was the one thing that could make anyone happy. It's warm, it looks nice, it's delicious and good for you. He knew that if the wise man were presented with 3 gifts - a sports car, a million dollars, and a piece of toast - the wise man would choose the toast. Why? A sports car is pretty cool, it's fast and it gets you laid. But cars break down and cost money to fix, and in the long run will cause grief. A million dollars is also great, but the wise man would soon think of why it was not the logical choice (I cannot because I'm not that wise - but for the sake of this article we'll go with his choice). Of these 3 things, the piece of toast was the one that would bring the most happiness and inner peace.
Taking this into account, Steven Seagal went on a personal crusade to deliver toast to the needy, the persecuted and the weak. He took toast to POW camps during the Vietnam war, which gave all those in captivity a glimmer of hope and made them realize that a brighter day was near. He gave toast to Nelson Mandela, who soon put his life into perspective and realized there were far worse things than being held prisoner for no reason. And he offered special toast to Afghan refugees after the American government realized that the most effective way to get rid of one man was to blow up the entire country he was supposed to be living in, a method that seems quite popular with the US military. His toast brought many smiles to almost as many faces, and Steven Seagal understood what his vision meant.
Toast. It's simple, it's nice, it's reliable and it makes you happy.
Exactly how life should be.
