 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
TERRI SUMMERS
Even though Steven Seagal is the greatest human being who EVER LIVED, there is one other who is a very close second. So close, in fact, that they're almost the same person. Except Steven Seagal probably doesn't look as good in a bikini. Probably.
By now you're sitting there thinking to yourself, is he talking about Terri Summers? Does the Pope have lips? Of course I am!
Terri Summers is to womanly beauty what Steven Seagal is to KICKING ASS! Many men have devoted songs to her (I imagine), written poetry for her (I guess) and even used her as inspiration for some of the greatest artworks of our time (I think). You know that Mona Lisa thingy? Who do you think Mozart used as a model for that painting? |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
See? No point arguing there because you'd be wrong. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
One day when I'm old enough to date women I hope Terri will consider me for a boyfriend. I've heard of cases where straight men have considered swinging the other way because of Steven Seagal...well then Terri is their cure. Her magic is powerful enough to convert even the most devout homosexual! If there was ever a 200-ft homosexual that invaded our town and breathed fire and stepped on houses, the army would realize that conventional weapons were useless, and they'd bring in TERRI SUMMERS! She always saves the day. |
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
Click this pic. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Either one of these outfits would make a great wedding dress for when Terri and I tit the knot one day. Of course, it would be a Steven Seagal-themed wedding, so I'd have to wear a crazy jacket and when I kissed the bride I'd probably miss her lips because I'd be squinting. |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
All pictures used with permission from my mom. That's why they don't show boobs. |
|