- Calm Before A Storm -
5
-
Cpt. Picard welcomed them into his private readyroom, inviting them to take a seat.
"Would you care for a cup of tea?"
Giles’ face lit up, "Too right. That is…I think I rather would, thankyou."
Buffy gave him a nudge, "We…we don’t have any money…"
"That’s quite alright; there’s no charge." Picard assured them.
Buffy could hardly believe her ears, "Oh. Well…I’ll have a diet coke."
The Captain stepped up to a hole in the wall.
"Is he making a withdrawal?" Buffy whispered to Giles.
"Tea. Earl Grey. Hot."
They watched as a cup of brown liquid materialised within the small recess.
Giles was completely dumbfounded.
Picard signalled him to have a go.
So, Giles bent and spoke into the Replicator. His expression was that of someone who was well aware he was making a fool of himself; "Err…Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. …With milk. …And sugar. …Please."
Picard eased into his chair, "Mr Giles, I hope you realise that you are asking me to take a great deal of what you say on faith."
Buffy quickly responded, "I hope you realise the forces you're up against."
"With all due respect, Miss Summers, what do you know of true evil?"
"Plenty. Need I mention how many times I’ve saved the world? I’ve been fighting evil since before you were born."
Picard was about to argue when he realised that, technically, she was right.
"Point taken. Give me a list of books you would like us to search for."
---
When Xander and Anya had arrived at their quarters, they found that the closets were well stocked with clothing. Some of it almost resembled 20th century gear.
Xander checked himself out in a full-length mirror. He was wearing an odd, ribbed, white top with long sleeves. He tucked the top into his beige trousers. On the outside of each trouser leg was a thin gold strip.
Picking up a brown, buttonless jacket from the bed; he slipped it on and turned to Anya.
"I look like I’m going to a Battlestar Galactica convention."
She came over and straightened up his collar, "I think you look manly. Heroic. You’re my Han Solo."
"Really…?" He had liked the sound of that until he remembered Riker, "You sure you wouldn’t prefer me in a…‘Starfreak’ uniform?"
"What’s that supposed to mean?"
"Don’t think I didn’t see you oglin’ that big grizzly beefcake just now!"
Anya tried to reply but Xander jumped in, "That’s right; the guy with the big steamy look in his eyes and the ‘I can go all night, baby, I’m cool and I know it’ grin on his face. Straddling chairs and posing like a big freak. You want him, don’t you? Go ahead and tell me straight, after all – how can I compete with that? I’m just a great, big…goof." He slumped onto the bed.
"I was just admiring his facial hair."
"What?"
She got down on her knees in front of him and held his hands, "I can’t help it if I find well-groomed facial hair attractive, Xander. And I’ve never seen one that well maintained before."
"His beard turns you on? You never told me you had a thing for beards."
"It didn’t seem that important until you got all crazy over it. You were jealous!"
He shrugged, "You were staring at him a lot…and he is pretty buff. For a guy."
"Xander, you are the only man I am attracted to and I like our sex. A lot. I love you.
…Besides, if you were to grow a beard like that; you’d be twice as hot as him." She snuggled up to him; "You wanna…go re-align our ‘planetary bodies’ or something?"
Xander let his jealousy subside; "Better secure those docking-clamps, sugar; ‘cos this space pilot’s comin’ in for a hard landing."
---
"I fold." Said Beverly, throwing her hand in.
"Me too." Deanna decided, dropping her cards.
Data took a third of a second to consider all Riker’s possible hand combinations then put in his chips, "I will match your six and raise by three."
They were gathered around the circular poker table in Riker’s quarters, playing a quick hand to relieve some of the days stress.
"Anyway," Beverly continued her conversation with the Counsellor, "I examined them all. Twice. I couldn’t find anything to explain their abilities. Buffy managed to dislocate Chancellor Martok’s jaw, yet her muscle structure is completely normal. It’s just the strangest thing.
And the dead one – Spike – he really is dead. He’s a walking, talking corpse. You can see that he’s thinking, but there’s nothing there. I don’t know how to explain it."
Deanna nodded, "I know exactly what you mean; it’s the same when Data removes his emotion chip – I see him but I can’t feel his presence."
"You know; he came in to Sickbay asking for a pint of blood if you can believe that!"
"Oh my God!" said Troi, "What did you do?"
"I had to get Geordi to create a Replicator program for a cup of warm O-negative!"
"That’s disgusting!"
Data turned over his whole card, "Flush to beat."
Riker flipped his, "Straight flush, Data! Don’t look so surprised; it takes more than a calculating mind to win poker."
Data removed his dealer cap and left the table, "I have to go now, I must give a tour for our new guests."
They said their goodbyes and Data went.
Riker started to pack up his deck, then stopped, "Did you notice the way that strange girl was looking at me in the observation lounge?" He asked Beverly.
"Can’t say I did."
"I think she’s attracted to me."
"She probably couldn’t resist your rugged charm, Will." Mocked Deanna.
"Ah, you’re just jealous."
---
Buffy hadn’t been in her room more than two minutes when Willow came knocking.
"There’s something I have to show you!" she said, leading Buffy to the desktop computer.
"It took me a while to figure out how to work this thing, but I found a way to download stuff. I just tapped into the data-stream they’re using to get the books that Giles–"
"Whoa there, Will. You lost me already."
"Right. Well, I know it was wrong and against all laws of nature and I only did it to find out if we get home alright; I didn’t intend on reading all the files, it just sort of happened…"
"What are you talking about? What files?"
Willow pointed to the small screen.
Buffy looked; "Willow!" It was a file from The United Earth Census Archive for one ‘Rosenberg, Willow’. It had everything from her birth to…
"I know…but read it!"
Buffy shook her head, "This is wrong, we can’t…" But as she read, Buffy realised what was wrong with the picture, "This isn’t right."
"Exactly."
"It says here you married Oz last month."
"It also says we had two kids. Girls. Betsy and Alexandra. I work for a computer software company. Or so it says."
"I don’t understand this…"
"Oh, it gets better, Buffy – You never moved to Sunnydale. You didn’t burn your old Gym down and you work in a fashion boutique!"
"This isn’t us!"
"I know. We have to tell Giles."
"No. I’ll tell Giles. You should go on the ‘tour’ with the others. I know how much you’re lovin’ all this."
"Am I bad? I miss Tara so much; I really do. But this is all so…amazing. I mean, Buffy, we’re in space!"
"You’re not bad and it is amazing. That’s why you’re going. Just don’t mention this to the guys ‘till we know what to tell them, okay?"
The door slid open to reveal Spike flanked by two burly guards.
"Don’t worry, I’m not stoppin’. Just wanted to thank you for nearly blastin’ me into space earlier today."
Buffy headed out the door, "There’s still time, Spike. Technically you are dead."
"Where are you goin’?" He said to her.
"Out. You go with Willow on the tour. And make sure nothing happens to them."
Then she was gone.
"What bloody tour?"
---
Data’s tour of the ship had taken them to the Bridge, Engineering, the Arboretum and Science Lab 1 where the ‘Mastery’ was kept.
Willow had been enthralled the whole time; nodding at Data a lot and asking many questions.
Xander hadn’t understood a word. He was just glad he hadn’t seen anymore of those big windows. He was more concerned with trying to look like a manly ‘Han Solo’ type hero, with Anya under his arm.
Spike was excruciatingly bored. Bored to the point of death – if he wasn’t already. Sure this place was pretty groovy, but it wasn’t really Vampire-friendly. He couldn’t go near windows on the chance they passed too close to a star system and there weren’t any decent crypts in the entire place. Hell, they didn’t even have satellite! ‘No,’ he’d decided, ‘this place sucks.’ But there was one bonus. No Harmony! ‘Thank Christ’ Plus he had nearly 24 hours of Slayer. ‘Did I just think that?…Get a grip!’
"Are you people tryin’ to get me fried?" Spike said on seeing the huge row of windows in Ten-Forward.
"You are perfectly safe, Mr Spike-"
"Hey - it’s just Spike, alright? We’ll have less of the ‘mister’. It’s way too dorkish."
"Very well… Spike. We are almost half a light year from the nearest system. You will be safe."
Data saw that Xander was gazing nervously across the sparse lounge and out the window.
"Are you quite alright, Mr Harris?" He asked.
"I was just thinkin’. That glass. It’s safe, right? I mean – it’s the only thing stopping us from being sucked out into space – so it’s gotta be pretty tough."
"It is a transparent aluminium/Plexiglas composite chemically bonded to–"
"Pop!" Xander exclaimed; "That’s the first thing that’d happen – our eyes would pop out of their sockets. Then the blood boils over and your veins burst. Your whole body swelling up like a nightmare balloon, then brain soup–"
"Enough, already!" Said willow in disgust, "They’re safe. I’m sure."
"Miss Rosenberg is correct." Data confirmed; "The physical framework of the ship is reinforced during powered flight by a structural integrity field."
"See." Chirped Willow.
"Well, I’m glad we cleared that up. I feel so much more reassured." Xander retorted sarcastically.
"I’ve been thinkin’," said Spike, "Maybe I should look myself up. Assuming I managed not to go and get myself all dusted the past three hundred ‘n’ seventy years."
"I wouldn’t bother. Really." Willow said to him.
"Would any of you care for a beverage?" Data queried.
"Nah," replied Xander, "It’s been one hell of a day, so I think I’m gonna go get some well-earned R.E.M’s."
Willow agreed, "I am pretty wiped out. I’m gonna go to bed."
"Well," sighed Spike, "Guess that just leaves you and me, Artoo."
"It would appear so …Spike. I understand that you are unable to cause physical injury to any ‘innocent’ individual due to the microchip that is imbedded within your cerebral cortex."
Spike frowned at him; "Christ. You talk more rot than Giles, mate."
------
Lights dimmed throughout the Enterprise and the nightshift came on duty.
The ship wound down for the night.
------
Clawing Crawling Gnawing Choking Drowning Burning Cloudy BLOOD
Dark Flowing Cascading Surrounding Filling Red Danger DEATH!
Buffy woke with a horrific start to find blackness.
Remembering what the Security Officer had told her, she called "Lights!"
The room lit up immediately. She was alone – in bed – in this strange new future.
The wrong future.
Come morning, she would have to explain to the gang that they were not only out of their time,
…but out of their entire universe.
---