Since my last entry I've had a daughter, Rebekah-Marie Zask Bales. My mother has embarked on the road to rehabilitation. Rebekah was born the morning after I last wrote, July 6, 1980. Ex labored with me all night long. Contractions started coming further apart and the doctor arrived at about 7:00 in the morning, after four hours in the hospital. He started the pytocin drip and broke my water at about 10:00 a.m. I was dilated to 4 cm. Within 45 minutes the pain was very hard to control; I began gasping and crying. Shortly I informed Ex that I "had to go" I thought I was going to shit, not really that I wanted to push right then. After the contraction, he ran for the nurse and she examined me, saying I was only 5 cm. I complained, crying, "This is going to go on for hours." The nurse breathed with me for a couple of contractions. I was in danger of hyperventilating. Ex was rubbing my arm helplessly and I told him, "Please get your fucking hand off my arm."

Five minutes after she'd just examined me, I said, "I really feel like I have to push so bad." Somewhat condescendingly, the nurse moved to examine me again, saying, "We'll examine her more often now that - oh, you do have to push!" I was fully dilated, five minutes after I'd been at only 5 cm. She told me not to push and ran for the doctor and some help to get me into the delivery room.

I hung on to the rail, gasping and blowing, into the delivery room, where I began talking loudly and excitedly: "Oh I want to have my baby, my baby's coming, I want to push, won't you do the episiotomy, oh it's coming, it's coming!" etc. Finally I was allowed to push, then told to stop. Ex was behind me, I was talking to him and we were watching in the mirror. Her head came out, and at the same time the nurse said, "It looks like a boy," I said, "It looks like a girl." Push again. Her body came out.

I heard Ex say, "Oh wow" - he'd looked down and seen her. He was the first to say, "It is a girl." The doctor had her upside down in front of me and I wanted to touch her and Ex and I were so excited. He kissed me. Rebekah was put in the warm bassinet and placed next to us while the afterbirth was delivered and I was sewn up. Right off I said, "She's got your ears," and she does, too, dinky little things. She's got his nose, too.

After he'd stitched me up, the doctor went and picked up Rebekah, handed her to Ex, shook my hand and left. The nurse left also. We looked at her, touched her. We didn't cry, but we were both so elated and excited. My own feeling of accomplishment was tremendous. Then we all moved to the recovery room. The nurse took two pictures of the three of us, then Rebekah got her first feeding. Ex ran around, taking pictures from every angle. Afterward, he was allowed to go to the nursery and took pictures of Rebekah being weighed and measured: 7 lbs, 13 oz, 19 ½ inches long.

We made several phone calls from the recovery room. Ex went home to get some things and make some calls while I rested, and came back with flowers for me. On the envelope was "Mommy" and on the card which was printed "Enjoy your baby girl" was written simply, "She's beautiful. Love, Ex" He spent the better part of the day, looking at her.