(Bekah's eulogy was delivered
by her big brother John Zask on 07-25-01 – John and Bekah’s father contributed
to the writing of the eulogy. The service opened with "My Girl" by the Temptations and "Touch of Grey" by the Grateful Dead. After the chapel service, mourners departed the chapel for her graveside accompanied by "In My Life" by the Beatles and "Two Step" by Dave Matthews Band)
When my mother was pregnant in 1980, it was agreed
that if the baby was a boy she could choose the name, and if it was a girl,
my dad could. Rebekah had always been Dad’s favorite girl’s name, and on
July 6th of that year, we were all blessed with the birth of
my little sister, Rebekah-Marie.
But there was one glitch: my mom can’t stand the
name "Becky." After a week or so of correcting well-meaning admirers who
assumed that would be her nickname, my mom was exasperated. The question
of what to call the baby was solved when my Aunt Carolyn called on the
phone and said, "I think she is Bekah." She has been Bekah ever since.
Last Friday my mom and I got in the car to make
the first of several visits to the place where Bekah died. As we got in
the car we were talking about how remarkable a person Bekah was to be able
to have at least four men in love with her at the same time and not only
still keep the friendship of each one but even enable them to stay friends
with each other.
I always grab a tape when I get in the car, and
thinking about how Bekah had recently told me she "loved" Johnny Cash,
as she "loved" – she didn’t "like" – she "loved" everything - I popped
in a cassette of his music. The first song we heard seemed at the time
to have been written for Bekah. It was so timely that we both knew instantly
that we would share it today. It seems that Bekah has always been closer
to heaven than any of us ever knew, or ever could have imagined.
SONG: "You’re the Nearest Thing
to Heaven" by Johnny Cash
While reflecting on her life last night, my dad
told me a story about Bekah when she was young. Bekah was really spoiled,
which made me really jealous. One day when she was about five or so, Bekah
asked for something or other and Dad said, "No." Bekah looked up with her
big blue eyes and said, "But you never say no!" and it was true.
But of course that could not stay true. What seems
almost miraculous is how well Bekah adapted to adversity, made the best
of every situation, and grew into a remarkably unspoiled woman. Despite
all the obstacles in her life, she still wanted to succeed. Bekah was full
of integrity, responsibility, honesty, and would have no part of failure.
If you look into her eyes you can see the determination. We should all
admire her for that, and in our lives, do the right thing.
Since her early teens, it seemed as if Bekah had
a telephone surgically applied to her ear. Which is pretty funny for a
girl who despised modern technology so much she refused to carry a cell
phone. However, she did love her friends, and communicating with them,
and learning from them.
Bekah left us a gift in the form of her journal,
and my mother and I want to share some of her words with you today:
6/18/01 chillin at matt’s, finishing up work for finals.
Tomorrow begins the last week of my first year at Brooks College. And I
don’t even know where to begin in explaining what I am feeling about all
that has happened and what is happening…I have been experiencing so many
different things. The people who I am around cause me to think about things
in a completely different and new way…they open my mind to big things,
new things. It blows me away on a daily basis. First, there’s Matt, my best friend. Super analyzer,
thinks only on a scale of mass quantity. So kind and generous, and funnier
than hell. Sometimes crazy, looking into things further than they ever
go. But where would I be if it wasn’t that way? He amazes me so much…we
work amazingly well together. Then there’s Brandee Ramer from North Dakota.
Rame-dawg, this amazing girl from Jamestown. Blonde hair, blue eyes, only
19. Moved out here to SoCal not even knowing what to expect. Not expecting
anything…all straight A’s, always thinking about so much. She cares probably
more than anyone I know, maybe, if it’s possible, more than anyone should. And Ryder from Wisconsin. The cutest kid, just
turned 19. He has so much creativity, I just love to listen to him talk,
with his accent and funny stories. He looks like a young Brad Pitt with
sideburns. Timothy Nishimura, the 18-year-old Japanese
kid from the Valley. Reminded me of Paul when he was young – wild and crazy.
Both true, but totally different. I’m not sure if I’ll ever figure him
out, but that’s okay. Because what I do know about him is that he has way
more going on in his head than you might think. And Jesse, my other best friend. Brilliant and
amazingly talented and skilled. I can ask him to do anything, or if he
can, and pretty much, he can. I can count on him for so much. He can always
bring a smile to my face…he came into my life at the perfect time.
06-22-01 (on the boat to Catalina – Bekah wrote about a
meeting with some people who had been in the fashion industry)
It’s just incredible. I just got a glimpse of
my future, and how through networking and meeting people can help so much
in getting where you wanna go.
6-23-01 The sun has set now and I am looking at the
moon. It is a crescent moon, and it is crazy how I can see the extension
of the moon. I have been seeing in geometrical shapes lately. I think it’s
a sign for me to start painting…I am looking forward to going home. It
is so nice and peaceful here, but I feel like I have a lot to do when I
get back. Gabe is going to be home when I get back. I miss him a lot.
6/29/01 (letter to Gabe)
I don’t know, Gabe, our minds are on the same
page, we see with the same eye. It is pretty unexplainable, but it doesn’t
freak me out either. I think it is special and rare….
And so on. In her writing and in her life it is plain
that what Bekah valued the most was the people in her life. Lizzy, Joe,
Paul, Melanie, Tracy, and how many others, her family cannot guess, because
she touched more people in more places than we even knew, or know. Happily
for all of us, Bekah was never stingy with her time, her smile, her hugs,
or her expressions of love…so that individually we all know who we are.
And, as Bekah believed, "True friendship is a true miracle"
SONG: "Waiting for a Miracle"
by the Jerry Garcia Band
From her diary July 18, 2001 [one day
before her murder] – So school started. I missed most of the first
week ‘cuz I was sick. I’m 21! Finally! I had a great birthday, better than
any I’ve had the last few years…I am happy.
And she was happy. She was at my house a few hours
before she died and we had one of the first adult conversations that we
ever had a chance to have. And when she left my house I was just so proud
of her. She was on her way to being the the wonderful person, and the real,
adult, good person that she was. She was right there. She was happy.
From seven pounds, 13 ounces and 19 inches long,
Rebekah grew to 5’5" 119 pounds of beauty, a beauty that was not only apparent
physically to any stranger who might pass her in the street, but that radiated
from her soul with energy and love, and manifested from her mind with artistry,
curiosity, and bravery.
I just want to tell everyone here today that without
you, Bekah would not have been the beautiful person she was and is in our
hearts forever, and we should all take a piece of Bekah with us and try
to be better people for having known her.
My family and I want to thank you all for coming
to share this sad day with us. We all know that Bekah was too young to
die, and that her death is a tragedy for which we try in vain to find a
reason. There is no reason for Bekah’s death, not this soon. But her life’s
reasons seem too many to count. In 21 years, Bekah gained more wisdom than
some people do in four times as long, inspired lifetimes worth of love,
and shared a secret that many of us never uncover: how to be happy. She
found the secret. I admire her, I love her, I miss her and I always will.
But I am so, so happy that I had her. Maybe that’s the only reason that
counts…
Bekah, Someday - links and webrings - Geocities - 
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