Unca Cheeks the Toy Wonder's Silver Age Comics Web Site!
... hey, hey, HEY! It's...
the CHEEKS the TOY WONDER paGe!!!!!
... where the Silver Age of comics still lives -- !!!!!
WARNING:
This Site Really, Really Requires NETSCAPE Of Some Type In Order
To Be Fully Utilized and Appreciated!!!
(... unless, of course, you just happen to like fuzzy, off-centered pics
and whatnot. In which case... ) 
A PROUD RECIPIENT OF THE FIRST EVER FANZING
"BEST OF FANDOM AWARD!"
Hi! Welcome to the CHEEKS THE TOY WONDER Home Page!
We're pleased and excited that you've found your way here!
I'm your host for the evening: the charming and affable (it says here) CHEEKS -- the Toy Wonder! [Insert Frenzied Applause, Here] Assuming I've figured out how to decently insert the imageinto the body of this text, you should be goggling in wide-eyed amazement over a stunningly-rendered portrait of me, even as you read these very words. Take a good, long, envious gander at that kisser, huh? Admit it: the phrase "drop dead gorgeous" just sorta leaps to mind unbidden, doesn't it...?
In any event: this site is primarily (if not exclusively) set up for fond reminiscence (and/or interesting discussion), re: the days when that noble American art form -- the adventure comic book -- had not yet found its unique and seductive vision occluded by successive generations of myopic, no-talent fanboy geeks, both on the "working professional" side of the fence and otherwise.
If that particular sort of beverage is your personal brew of choice...
then: relax. You've finally made it home. Siddown; gimme your
coat. We've got a lot to talk about.
Along with a stunning gallery or three of classic comics covers (accompanied by commentary which -- please, God -- isn't too maladroit to justify the inclusion), we'll also be offering you a gaggle of other goodies, as this site mutates and grows like some alien bonsai.
And -- always assuming that I can, somehow, master the arcane and
kabalistic mechanics involved (a dicey proposition, at best; I'm no cyber-wizard,
God wot) -- we'll have (eventually) an actual, working MESSAGE BOARD,
as well... where we all can swap jaundiced memories, choleric opinions
and non-negotiable terrorist demands! Gee Whilikers -- ain't modern
technology just peachy -- ?!?
A quick word of WARNING, however:
1.) All of the pages on this site -- and, in particular,
the comics-related ones -- are what you might call "graphics intensive"
(which is cybergeek, basically, for: "there's a whole lot o' pictures
on each page... and some of 'em are Real Durned Big."). Hence:
they make a few moments to "load," if you're using some crude, archaic
flint-style computer, browser or modem. Please remember: patience
is a virtue. All of the pages contained herein are -- my
solemn oath -- well worth the wait. :-)
HANDY-DANDY REFERENCE TABLE, RE: MODEM BPM's:
52k modem -- what I have; pages load almost instantaneously.
33.6k modem -- pages load within one to three minutes each.
28.8k modem -- pages load within four or five minutes each.
14.4k modem -- otherwise known as "two Dixie Cups and a string"; pages
load within six to ten minutes each. Have a magazine handy.
And -- for God's sake -- upgrade, willya?!?
2.) I can be reached via e-mail at: [email protected], in case anyone wants to contact me with a compliment; constructive criticism; or a death-threat on the part of 14.4k modem-users the world over.
Do not NOT NOT -- under ANY
circumstances -- e-mail me to
snivel; whine; or kvetch, re: "... your pages don't load
fast enough to suit me," or I will hold up said e-mail for public ridicule
and abuse; right here, on this very site.
On this site, at least, if none other: content trumps speed.
3.) A few quick passes of the mandatory "legal mumbo-jumbo"
magic wand, here: all likenesses, images and logos of the comics characters
on this and the following pages are the sole copyright and/or trademark
of DC Comics, Inc.; Marvel Comics Entertainment Group; Hanna-Barbera Studios;
and/or Archie Comics. All movie stills, images and posters are the
sole copyright and/or trademark of their respective film studios, fan
clubs and/or individual corporate owners; and all album covers, photographs
and/or song lyrics are the sole copyright and/or trademark of their respective
recording labels, fan clubs and/or individual corporate owners.
These images, etc. are reproduced solely for scholarly and/or archival
purposes, only; and their inclusion herein is provided for by the appropriate
Fair Usage provisions covering (and rendering legal) such non-commercial,
not-for-profit usage. No one's making Dime One of profit here, folks...
so all you ravenous attorney- types can just sit the @#$% down and enjoy
the procedings along with the rest of us. Destroy All Lawyers.
Alllllllllrighty, then: now that we've sated the ever-ravenous suit-and-tie spoilsport-types for the nonce... let's get to what you've all been waiting for (with varying degrees of justifiable impatience)!
... and, remember: if it isn't a pivotal scene from some grainy, two-in-the-A.M. between-the-infomercials film which makes you gasp in sudden, involuntary epiphany...
... or the hook to some classic rock'n'roll tune, thundering out of your car radio on a sun-drenched weekend afternoon and reminding you -- just that suddenly; just that indefinably -- of what it felt like to wander through the hallway back in high school, with your own private soundtrack LP spinning over and over again in your teenage head...
... or a sudden, almost painful twisting of nostalgia's rusty
knife somewhere in your chest as you recall laying on the living room
carpet on your stomach, a dragon's horde of ten- and twelve-cent comic
books fanned out around you like the discarded plumage of some great and
impossible avian deity...
... let it go. It doesn't matter. Not even a little.
Let it go.
The following pages have been inspected by the garishly-clad man (and his li'l dolly) you see loitering suspiciously at the right-hand side of your screen.
Both the man and the doll -- after a few dispirited mumblings about the comparative dearth of "nekkid Batman pics" -- have given these pages "two thumbs up."
At least... I think those were thumbs.
Please, God: let those have been thumbs.
The CHEEKS, THE TOY WONDER FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) PAGE
IF OLD COMIC BOOKS ARE YOUR BAG...
The CHEEKS, THE TOY WONDER "Gotta Find That DC COMICS Character" Menu Is Finally Up...
... OTHERWISE: SCROLL DOWN TO ONE OF THE HANDY-DANDY COMICS "SUB-MENUS,"
BELOW... AND SETTLE BACK AND ENJOY A NICE, LONG READ.
THE DC COMICS OF THE SILVER AGE Sub-Directory
Includes multiple page entries for (among others): the Silver Age Batman; the Silver Age Green Lantern; the Silver Age Justice League of America; the Silver Age Legion of Super-Heroes; and dozens upon dozens of other classic characters who all but defined the Silver Age, as well!
The MARVEL COMICS OF THE SILVER AGE Sub-Directory
Includes multiple page entries for (among others): the Silver Age Spider-Man; the Silver Age Fantastic Four; the Silver Age Captain America; the Silver Age Avengers; and dozens upon dozens of other classic characters from The House That Jack (Kirby) Built!
The MISCELLANEOUS COMICS AND ASSORTED ENTERTAINMENTS
Sub-Directory
Includes multiple page entries for (among others): Carl Barks' classic "duck" comics; our "All-Time Lousiest Comic Books Ever Made" section; the popular CHEEKSRANTS columns; and dozens of other diverse diversions!
THIS WEEK'S
NEW ENTRIES:
All over the map and back again, this week, campers'n'camperettes.
First: A brand new interview, with the incomperable author
of HOURMAN; LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES; and DC 2000 (and close, personal
friend of "Snapper" Carr): the stone cold hired killer men
call... TOM PEYER! Give it up, people -- !!!
[Please go to the MISCELLANEOUS COMICS SUB-MENU in order to
access this latest site entry]
Second: The comic book western series to end all comic book
western series' (try saying that three times quickly, sometime):
Jack "King" Kirby and Joe Simon's seldom seen
BOYS' RANCH!
It's kinda sorta like UNFORGIVEN. Only with... y'know... kids,
and stuff.
[Please go to the MISCELLANEOUS COMICS SUB-MENU in order to
access this latest site entry]
Third: It's Part Two of our definitive deconstruction, re:
DC's recent SILVER AGE limited series; this time out, with site regulars
Nicolas Juzda, William Brackeen and "Per'fesser" Quentin
Long all taking turns asking (and then answering) the musical
question: "... is it live, or is it Memorex...?"
[Please go to the DC COMICS SUB-MENU in order to access this
latest site entry]
Fourth: A whoooooooole lotta you good folks, out there,
are gonna be seein' your own names egregiously misspelled, right there,
right now... 'cause it's time for a special triple-length
SON OF THE BRIDE OF UNCA CHEEKS' MAIL CRYPT!
Some of you even wrote in on topics other than how Unca's "take"
on THE TEEN TITANS, last time out, renders him -- now and forever -- unfit
for any/all hope of decent human congress.
[Please go to the MISCELLANEOUS COMICS SUB-MENU in order to
access this latest site entry]
Be here 9/4/00, pals'n'gals.
BOYS' RANCH. FANTASTIC FOUR. FLASH. TOMMY TOMORROW.
And lots more neat stuff.
ENTRIES FROM TWO WEEKS AGO:
Odds and ends, this time out, campers'n'camperettes; as Unca awaits some
tardy entries, re: articles and interviews.
First: Gotham's his city; and he rules it with his own
harsh, unrelenting sort of justice.
Ladies and gentlemen: it's the CHUCK DIXON interview!
(... and that's no urban myth, neither...)
[Please go to the MISCELLANEOUS COMICS SUB-MENU in order to
access this latest site entry]
Second: it's another "What If?" exercise in cranky, codger-y cogitation,
with Unca's "IF I RAN THE TEEN TITANS!" Stone guaranteed
to royally cheese off each and every living, breathing TITANS buff on
the planet. And then some. )
[Please go to the DC COMICS SUB-MENU in order to access this
latest site entry]
Third: in response to a simply gargantuan number of e-mail requests
from you lot (Unca told you those letters made a difference, 'round
these here parts)...
... it's our look at DC Comics' recent SILVER AGE limited series!
SOCKAMAGEE -- !
[Please go to the DC COMICS SUB-MENU in order to access this
latest site entry]
Fourth: ... and, finally (and I DO mean finally; it's been awhile,
by golly): J. Kevin Carrier makes his triumphant return,
hereabouts, with Part Two of his waynifty and ongoing ADAM WARLOCK
retrospective!
Cosmic, dude.
[Please go to the MARVEL COMICS SUB-MENU in order to access
this latest site entry]
Little somethin' for everybody, this time out.
Quentin Long
Lisa Orlando
Meggan Orlando
FANZING is -- without question -- the waycoolest
site anywhere on the 'net dealing with comic books that isn't
owned and/or operated by a plush toy (and former comics sidekick in good
standing).
It's an actual, no foolin' monthly online fanzine, complete with
fabulous (and well-researched) articles, and el nift-o pics.
You absolutely, positively need to visit this place, at least
once every twenty-eight days.
Click on the logo, directly above... and: prepare to be amazed.
FANS ("Comics and Features
By/For/About SF Fans") has voted Unca Cheeks' li'l den of online iniquity,
here, "one of the great hidden treasures of the web." (Which was pretty
darned swell of 'em, I thought.)
Check out their own web site, in return, whydon'cha...?
Unca Cheeks guarantees you that they won't remain hidden too very much longer, py yimminy.
GREAT stuff!
"MORE COMIC BOOKS," YOU SAY...?
The DC Comics Sub-Directory
The Marvel Comics Sub-Directory
The Miscellaneous Comics Sub-Directory
The "Gotta Find That DC Character" Menu
The "Gotta Find That Marvel/Miscellaneous
Character" Menu