(This page is dedicated to KEVIN HUXFORD... the Manhunter's biggest fan. Who I'm reasonably certain is a Martian.)

Whereas most of the more prominent DC Comics super-heroes throughout history may easily be placed into one of two camps ("Big Gun" or "Li'l Trigger"), given how they "rate," respectively, in such disparate categories as Number of Appearances; Relative Importance of Said Appearances; and Recognizability Factor, re: the non-comics reading public, overall (many adults, for instance, do not read BATMAN comics; they most assuredly do, however, know who the Batman is)... long-time comics mainstay "J'onn J'onzz: the Martian Manhunter" doesn't "fit" comfortably, really, within either category.

One of the reasons for this, certainly, is that -- even though the character's initial appearance was way, waaaaaaaayyyy back in the year 1955 (DETECTIVE COMICS #225, to be precise) -- Ol' J'onn simply has never, ever held down his own ongoing monthly comics title. That's a pretty long time to serve as a well-muscled "spear-carrier," by any reasonable estimation... and it cannot help but "color" the readership's perceptions of the character (I think) as something of a well-regarded "also-ran."

Too: it's something of an understatement, really, to state that many of the Manhunter's "solo" stories (he's served as a "back-up feature" character in many a title, over the years) have been...

... welllllllll... a little less than "wonderful," let's say.

J'onn's continuing feature within the pages of HOUSE OF MYSTERY,back in the 1960's, is particularly illustrative of this point. Blandly scripted and illustrated, these adventures shuttled back and forth with seeming interminability between dull-as-dishwater grudge matches with his arch-nemesis -- dwarfish Lex Luthor rip-off, "Professor Hugo" [see pictures, accompanying] -- and by-the-numbers monster-of-the-month imbroglios versus the generic creatures spewed forth by the mysterious supernatural totem known as "the Diabolu Idol-Head" (swear to Jesus; that's what they called it. "The Diabolu Idol-Head." Which is only marginally less lame and awful, I suppose, than would be "the Billy Idol-Head," as putatively threatening nomenclature goes... but: I digress.) )

... and -- even if all of these storytelling drawbacks had somehow been remedied, over the years -- there was still, alas,"the Zook Problem" with which both readers and writers had to contend.

"Zook" was the Martian Manhunter's diminuative, half-witted (if that), nekkid-as-a-jaybird "sidekick," throughout most of the character's HOUSE OF MYSTERY tenure.

Ostensibly performing in the function of "designated comedy relief," the Nude Little Nebbish had his own odd assortment of super-powers ("built-in directional attenae"; the ability to generate intense heat or cold; etc.), which he utilized -- chiefly -- in a never-ending campaign to become The One Comics Character Most Desperately In Need of Having His Adorable Little Face Staved In With a Sledgehammer. His shrill and incessant cries of "EEEEEEeeeeee!!! Manhunter!" were as regular and dependable a fixture within these pages as were, say, cholera epidemics during the Middle Ages (if not quite as welcome, comparatively speaking).

In short: he was a serious and ongoing stumbling block, in DC's attempts to render the character of J'onn J'onzz palatable to a large enough segment of the comics readership to vouchsafe a monthly solo title.

(Getting back -- if only for a moment -- to the aforementioned "Diabolu Idol-Head" [boy, is that ever fun to type -- !]: J'onn never did manage to unravel the secrets of the talisman's origin... or, for that matter, why it seemingly felt obliged to belch forth a freshly-minted [and instantly forgettable] monster, each and every time the moon waxed full. Apparently, it was -- in the most mind-numbingly literal sense of the term -- nothing more than a "plot device." [rimshot]) )

As for the (also) previously referenced "Professor Hugo": even J'onn never quite seemed able to take him seriously, as a credible threat. [See picture, accompanying] An overwhelming preponderance of the Professor's "master plans," in fact, were more overtly concerned with embarrassing the Manhunter, rather than eliminating him as a foeman outright. Ultimately, he really was little more than a perpetual nuisance than an actual "arch-enemy," per se.

DC did make a concerted and sustained effort to de-buffoon J'onn, however, during the final days of his HOUSE OF MYSTERY run. The extended storyline this occasioned, in turn, is worth examining in some detail.

It was during the height of the JAMES BOND/OUR MAN FLINT/MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. craze which was sweeping the country at the time (a craze which, it should be noted, was also making its all-encompassing presence felt in the BLACKHAWK comics series, as well). The United States government contacted the Martian Manhunter, and asked him to investigate the nefarious doings of "a super-secret international criminal empire" (whew!) rather improbably referring to itself as "V.U.L.T.U.R.E.," for reasons never rendered particularly compelling or lucid at the time. (The identity of said organization's mastermind -- the mysterious obesity known, alternately, as "Mr. V" and "Faceless" [see picture at the top of this page] -- was of particular interest to Our Boys In Washington, thankyouverymuch.) )

While undertaking this little chore on behalf of the Feds, J'onn inadvertently causes the death (!!!) of one of Faceless' top lieutenants: one "Marco Xavier," by name.

Operating, perhaps, under a sense of guilt-spurred obligation (as well as that galaxy-renowned "thriftiness" which characterizes the Martian peoples, as a whole), J'onn promptly utilized his shape-shifting abilities to assume the exact likeness of the deceased Xavier, and infiltrate V.U.L.T.U.R.E. from within -- becoming, in essence, an espionage "counter-spy."

This radical shift in direction and tenor for theseries -- the Diabolu Idol-Head was destroyed; Zook simply faded into the storytelling "background"; etc. -- resulted in J'onn's personality undergoing something of a sea-change, as well. He became progressively more grim and resolute as the "V.U.L.T.U.R.E." storyline snaked its way towards a resolution, and his amiable, faintly self-depreciating sense of humor metamorphosed into a chillingly bleak "gallows" outlook, re: the occasional fatality which might occur in the shadowy world of spy-versus-spy. [See pictures, accompanying]

Even in the (increasingly rare) "breaks from the ongoing skullduggeries of the "V.U.L.T.U.R.E." arc -- where the occsional tried-and-true alien menace or minor-league super-villain would make a half-spirited appearance, just for grins -- J'onn's new attitude lent an entirely different "cast" to the proceedings. Where once he might have resolved such conflicts with measured equanimity... a brusque, I-Ain't-Foolin'-Homeboy stance was now the order of the day. [See picture, accompanying]

It was all very interesting, certainly, and fairly well-done, of its "type"...

... but: it just wasn't J'onn, goshdarn it.

The situation had (in fact) something of true "irony" to it, as the months wore on: readers who once regularly derided J'onn (as well as the writers and artists working on him) for his previous "Happy-Go-Lucky Martian" characterization and simplistic storylines were now inundating the DC offices with letters which fairly scalded with righteous indignation, demanding -- in no uncertain terms -- that the company "bring the real J'onn back." (!!)

(That these very selfsame readers -- only a year earlier -- had been busily composing and mailing multi-page screeds detailingjust how dire, drab and awful "the real J'onn's" exploits had seemed to them, at the time, was just one of those funny little "kinks" which occur in the comics fandom zeitgeist, from time to time.) )

In any event: the editorial Powers That Be of the day made an ernest effort at satisfying both of the warring J'onn" factions, in turn, by re-introducing the cretinous Zook into the series' ongoing continuity [see pictures, directly above]. This wishy-washy maneuver, however, merely resulted in both camps feeling equally insulted and ill-used: the pro-"V.U.L.T.U.R.E." contingent resented mightily the re-instatement of the single character most intimately associated (in their view) with "the Bad Old Days"... and the pro-"Zook" camp, in turn, simply wouldn't be satisfied until all of this cloak-and-dagger awfulness was given a decent Christian burial, once and for all.

Eventually -- unable to satisfy either side, in fullest measure -- DC simply threw its corporate hands up in the air; booted both J'onn and the "Dial 'H' For Hero" feature out of the book; and turned HOUSE OF MYSTERY into a supernatural anthology title.

However -- as the final picture on this page so tellingly details -- there were, at least, Two Very Happy Lovers who were perfectly willing to leave the entire imbroglio behind them, for a time, and stroll off into the sunset with one another, gazing with erotic enthrallment and enchantment into one another's eyes for -- if the Fates were only generous, and kind -- something very much like forever. )

(OOOOOooooo... am I ever gonna get it from all of the "J'onn" fans out there for that last "bit," there. Heh-heh-heh...) )

PAGE ONE (Dial "H" for HERO)
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