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Brother #16: His genitals are pierced. Likes to choke the woman when he makes love. Sweats for nothing. Once wore a butt plug on a dare. Likes nude sun bathing and Captain America comic books. Use to drink Remmi Martin and shoot Heroin with Bill Cosby sometime in the mid 60's. Loves Hugs from strangers. Beats up clergy men. Does a lot of sweating in his spare time. Smells of corn chips and French dip. Really into oils, Liniment rubs and self mutilation. Graduated with a degree in horse grooming. Thinks Scooters are the work of the white man. Loves Jumping Jacks and shaving the middle of his mustache.

*Note*  Currently banded from all Howard Johnson hotels for sun bathing.

Brotherism: 8.9

Hobbies: Radio Shack, Collard Greens and Fake Vaginas.

Can Be seen At: Sunday Dinner, Church and In A Chat Room Stalking Teens.

Hostility: 6

Favorite Group: Al Green

Quote: "Who the hell ate all the damn Lasagna!?"

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Brother #17: Kicks ass first, takes names later. Works out for 2 hours a day (Just Chest). He's bad meaning "good" not bad meaning "bad." Thinks leather is freakin' kool! Often speaks in Pig Latin. Can do the Rubiz Cube. Drinks before he gets to the club to save money. Says it's a damn smart thing to do. He's the master of the "Cheap Date." Has no health care or dental benefits. Eats one apple a day to help keep the doctor away. Smells of  jerk chicken. Whistle while he works, hasn't worked since the Starsky and Hutch try outs of  74. Think midgets are the work of the white man. Wants to know "What the hell is popcorn made of?"

*Note* "I will confirm, that he is quite cheap!" -ex-girlfriend

Brotherism: 7.9

Hobbies: Shaft, Tight Clothes and Muslim Oils.

Can Be seen At: 1977, N.A.AC.P., Playas Ball and Reading to the Homeless on Wednesdays.

Hostility: 7

Favorite Group: Curtis Mayfield.

Quote: "Jive Turkey."

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Brother #18: Likes small monkey porno. Makes his lady bring drugs out of state.  Believes in the power of the light skinned brother. Graduated from high school with a degree in house Negroism. Sued Dmc of Rundmc, didn't believe he was really the "King of rock." Has the most hits on BlackPlanet.com. Started the Wisconsin chapter of the Bloods. Winner of the bite your lip pageant of 88. Smells of to much Vaseline. Likes to kiss girl on the pucker hole. Think Tarzan is the work of the white man.  Is a snake charmer. Thinks he invented the # 2 pencil.

*Note* Had to return his trophy in 89 due to nude photos.

Brotherism: 4.9

Hobbies: Stealing, Gold Chains, Chat rooms, MTV's Road Rules and Channel Surfing.

Can Be seen: with Bobby Brown, Cow Tipping', and Club Bentleys.

Hostility: 7

Favorite Group: Whatever's Hot.

Quote: "The slaves that made it to the north said it wasn't that great up here neither."

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Brother #19: Can tongue kiss for hours. He has 11 fingers and 9 toes. Help work out the 11 herbs and spices for KFC. Never asked for a dime for his trouble. Collects Baby clothes. Thought about becoming a serial killer but changed his mind. Once attacked Merv Griffin while he co-hosted Dance Fever with him. Has two left feet (literally). Smells of three day old Cabbage. Always comes in #1 at "Afro Tryouts." Thinks Moesha is the work of the white man. Wants to fist fight Blair Underwood. Doesn't really gives a "Rat's Ass." Coined the phrase "Stankonya." Nominated for the Peoples Choice award.

*Note* "The whole fight was a set up." -Merv Griffin

Brotherism: 6.2

Hobbies: Cocaine, Sulking, Turnstile Jumping and Testicles.

Can Be seen At: Hosting MTV's TRL, Turning Double Dutch and Harlem.

Hostility: 4

Favorite Group: CB4

Quote: "YES, YES, YES! Puffy had a gun."

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Brother #20: Co-wrote Titanic with James Cameron. Thinks cartoons are real. Drug have no effect on him Thinks Captain Crunch is the work of the white man. Once beat a man to death for calling him "Hippie Scum." Willing to wear a wire. Often thinks happy thoughts. Circumcised. Swims in the East River for his back problems. He's on the cabbage soup diet. Smells of grains, berries and nuts. Says he invented pancakes. Works well with others, but always works by himself. Loves smoked meats.

*Note* "I wouldn't say he ALWAYS thinks happy thoughts. But he is kind jolly." - ex-roommate

Brotherism: 8.8

Hobbies: Double Mocha Latte, Anus sniffin', and Rubbing Strangers On The 6 Train.

Can Be seen At: Lyrists Lounge, Starbucks and with Barbara Bush.

Hostility: 1

Favorite Group: The people who sing Love Shack.

Quote: "Guess how much I paid for this shirt?"

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Brother #21: Started Meals On Wheels. Turn down NASA not once, but three times for that rocket science job. Sensitive and has a big heart. Great with kids and pets. Studied with Gregory Hines for a short while. Has good hands and can sweat for hours. Types 89 words a minute. The original Boy In The Hood. He's 'Bout it 'Bout it. Smells of Ass, Feet and Arm Pits. Into the Tantric art of  love making. Known to get Giggy with it. Seen "kickin' it" in South Central. Thinks Cyber Sex is the work of the white man. Currently on tour with Paula Abdul.

*Note* "He's my personal Fred Astare. Thanks for all the hard work and the laughs." -G. Hines

Brotherism: 9.6

Hobbies: Staring at you, Curse Words and Stupidity.

Can Be seen At: M.L.K. Blvd.(Any Ghetto USA), The Chicken Spot and at the Gym.

Hostility: 8

Favorite Group: Fab and Rob (Formally of Millie Vanilli).

Quote: "You said I would get money for this?".

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Brother #22: Believes fresh goes better with Mentos. Behind the idea for the 2 Live Crew. Winner of the crooked hair face off of 92. Can see at a 180 degree angle plus an extra 90. Got his bottom ribs removed for a "better figure." Uses pig fat to season his food. He's good at sweeping, mopping and picking up trash. Favorite word is "HUH?" Eats coffee straight out of the can. Hands are registered with the local police as deadly weapons. Smells of Candied Yams. Accused of pushing a women on the subway tracks. Thinks Napstar is the work of the white man. Stared in the Broadway play "Bringing The Noise Bringing The Funk."

*Note* The mayor said " This man should not be free in the city, think of all those women."

Brotherism: 7.2

Hobbies: Boycotting The Man, Organ Donating and Staring Blankly Into Space.

Can Be seen At: Carnage Hall, Planet Hollywood And With Jackie Gleason.

Hostility: 7

Favorite Group: The "Genie In The Bottle" Girl (She's A Hot!)

Quote: "You can't keep a good man down."

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Brother #23: Hasn't moved his bowels in 17 months. He's not worried about it though. Has a big inscence collection. His cousin played "Bookman" on the TV show Goodtimes. Likes to give it to his woman in the crapper. He's really into Star Trek, Some say to much. Teaches African dance to kids in Harlem. Also a bit of Tap, Jazz and Hip-Hop. Votes Republican. Has bootleg cable in his apartment. Thinks he has great genitalia. His ex-wife couldn't be reached for comment. Started the east coast, west coast beef. Smells of Sour Cream and Chives. Likes to pass gas in Public Places. Thinks the "Florida recount" is the work of the white man. Into lactating women.

*Note* "I never heard of him but, he keeps mailing me, invites to functions and hangs around my home." -Mr. Bookman

Brotherism: 8.1

Hobbies: Step Class, Side Burns, Aroma Therapy and Shooting Cocaine Between His Toes.

Can Be seen At: Vegetarian Cook Outs, Nature Walks and with DJ Clue.

Hostility: 3

Favorite Group: The Ultramagnetic Mc's

Quote: "People often mistake me for Sidney Poitier."

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Brother #24: Can see the future. Loves the fit of a new suit, but never had a new suit that fit him.  Use to blow great sax with Charlie Parker back in the 50's. Had a Pentium 3 chip inserted in his brain so he could "think faster." Didn't work, but he can now look at the scar on demand. Won a coffee cake bake off back in the mid-80's. Had a small part in the movie "Dances With Wolves." Kevin Costner said "It's rare you get to work with such a pro, It was magical and a learning experience." Smells of mule dung. Tried out for the role of Kramer on the hit sit-com Sienfeld. Didn't get it and called Jerry a "racist." Thinks the spice girls are the work of the white man. Ate seven different types of meat in one day.

*Note* "I have plenty of black friends, The best man at my wedding was Chris Rock." -J. Seinfeld

Brotherism: 6.9

Hobbies: Stalking White Women, Fly Fishing and Fisting.

Can Be seen At: Peep Shows, Soup Kitchens and with Keanu Reeves.

Hostility: 4

Favorite Group: God's Property.

Quote: "Ain't nothing that compares to the taste of a good white woman."

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Brother #25: Won the 1987 LL Cool J tryouts. His parents coined the term"Devil-ish-ment." Use to carry records for Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez. Worked as a stunt double for Jamal "Shyne" Barrows. Thinks Canada is the work of the white man. He's mad at the world but loves Strawberry ice cream. Watched the movie Scar Face well over 150 times. Smells like the back stair case. Many people would think it, but he DOESN'T beat up his girlfriend. Wears his pants really really low so you can see his underwear. Every once in a while he likes to cross dress. Smuggled drugs across state lines in his ass pockets.

*Note* His parents are now being sued by the black church for copyright infringement (Devil-ish-ment).

Brotherism: 6.8

Hobbies: Crystal Champagne, Starting Trouble and Drive by Shootings.

Can Be seen At: Project Hallways, Unemployed, Selling Smack and with Chelsea Clinton.

Hostility: 6

Favorite Group: The Gay Rapper.

Quote: "Hole up, Deere go 5-O Thun, Bounce."

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Brother #26: A professional frowner. Cuts his own hair. Like to make Butt Love to his lady. Use to dance with the "Fly Girls" on the TV show In Living Color. Always pours out a bit of his liquor for the brothers who ain't here. Has 37 Cats (un-neutered). Rumored to talk to the F.B.I. about the Black Panther Party, Malcolm X, Nat Turner, Marcus Garvey, Fredrick Douglas and Martin Luther King Jr., But swore he told the Feds all lies. He's down with OPP. Thinks Kid Rock is the work of the white man. Prefers to be called a Negro instead of African American. Smells of sell out. Good at finger painting and ain't to proud to beg. Seen the Movie Star Wars 187 times.

*Note* F.B.I. wouldn't talk to us.

Brotherism: 3.9

Hobbies: Year Books, Do-Wop songs and Voyeurism .

Can Be seen At: Gay Picnics, Civil Rights Demonstrations and with J-Lo .

Hostility: 3

Favorite Group: The Duke Of Earl.

Quote: "We SHALL Overcome Someday."

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Brother #27: Took a crap in his hat on a dare. Still believes in the Tooth Fairy Has frequent bowel movements. Grew up in the suburbs. Moved to New York City to work in the Broadway show "Les Misrables." Sensitive and often cries in front of his lady. Smells of stuff crust Pizza. Gets type cast as the "crazy guy" in most of his plays. He what's called an "aggressive Jehovah's Witness", Will kick down a door to sell Watchtower magazine. He could see heaven. Often brags about the size of his penis to white women. Once told President Regan to his face that he was a bum. Thinks the thong is the work of the white man. Great at volleyball.

*Note* Ronald Regan said: " I can't remember this man." Mrs. Reagan says: "Ronny's been sick lately."

Brotherism: 8.8

Hobbies: Crime, Runway Modeling, T & A, and Yanni.

Can Be seen At: Donald Trump Functions, The Chicken Spot and with Tyra Banks.

Hostility: 8

Favorite Group: Hanson

Quote: "God made the penis, The Penis doesn't make the man!"

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Brother #28: Can pat his head and rub his stomach at the same time. Believes real Hip-Hop didn't start out in Queensbridge. Implicated in the shooting death of the Notorious BIG. Doesn't fully understand that Brush after every meal thing. Into African Beads, Do-Rags and the white guy from Color me bad. Smells of The Civil Rights movement. Into Old Lady porno's. Holds the world record for making snow men. Really good at making his face out of focus. Thinks mouthwash is the work of the white man. Into the scientific effects of Gamma Radiation. Likes to doodle on paper.

*Note* After authorities found out his connection to Death Row Records, He's been thrown in jail.

Brotherism: 8.7

Hobbies: Growing Face Hair, Fake Meat and Yoga.

Can Be seen At: At: Kool-Aid Practice, with Krs1 and at The Club Lime Light.

Hostility: 3

Favorite Group: Johnny Bravo.

Quote: "Real Black Don't Crack!"

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Brother #29: Can eat fruit by the foot. Started the NY Crips. Help to develop most of the shows on Nick at Night.Has a bionic arm. He chooses NOT to use it for good. Use to room with Bill Gates back in the 60's. Has his own web site. Use to have sport sex with Lil' Kim. Smells of homelessness. Into doo-doo porn. Never seen without his lucky head wrap. Can make a hell of a bologna sandwich. Known to the ladies around his hood as "Magic Man." Started the blue scarf  head wrap craze of 97. Thinks soap and water is the work of the white man. Believes tooth up keep is bad luck.

*Note* "We don't want his type of element around our studio." -CEO Nick at Night

Brotherism: 5.8

Hobbies: Web Building, Toasting Marshmallows, Fare Beating and Raw Sex.

Can Be seen At: Player Club, In Dr. Dre Videos and Evading the Law.

Hostility: 4

Favorite Group: The Cold Crush Brothers.

Quote: "I like to use the withdrawal method of birth control."

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Brother #30: He's a singer song writer. He had the idea to make Janet Jackson an icon before MTV did it. Coined the phrase "Hello out there in TV land." He's a good listener and friend as well as a lover. Invented the "Lip-a-sizer." Captain of the deaf debate team. He's not gay but believes gay is ok! Knows how to live off the fat of the land. Smells of to much casual sex. Tuesday is "no shirt" day. Thinks Tiger Wood is the work of the white man. Also coined the phrase "It's all good." Currently suing Hammer for infringement. Use to work on the TV show Electric Company. Wants to be known as a entertainer not a rapper. Gives great hand jobs.

*Note* Lost his court case against Hammer. Currently appealing. (Last Update 6-16-01)

Brotherism: 7.9

Hobbies: Al Sharpton Bashing, growing corn and pencil pushing .

Can Be seen At: Disney Land, Calvin Klein's house and on the Set Of Friends.

Hostility: 5

Favorite Group: The Brady Bunch

Quote: "Everybody's smiling...Sunshine Day."

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