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Brother #31: Happiest when he moves his bowels. Loves his lucky hat! Can get into clubs, sports events and VIP areas just on his smile. Invented Break-Dancing for seniors. He wants nothing in return but happy old folk. He's nobody's uncle but everybody's brotha. Like egg salad and goats milk. Believes the lady IS a tramp. Smells of Glade air spray. Likes to make his own mustard. Once told Howard Stern he did it all for the nookie. Thinks passing gas is the funniest thing a human can do. Loves warm tonic rubs. Likes to get 'em and loves to give 'em. During love making, he'll take a pinky in his bum every once in a while. Thinks sock puppets is the work of the white man. Loves finger paint.

*Note*  Most seniors we talked to say they won't called what they do Break-Dancing.

Brotherism: 8.9

Hobbies: Boosting from Conway, Pot Hole Fillin' and Sour Power.

Can Be seen At: Master Piece Theater, with Adam West and Pass Gas Practice.

Hostility: 4

Favorite Group: John Ritter

Quote: "Can I use your Crapper?"

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Brother #32: Use to be King Vitamin. Loves the feel of a warm bath, but takes showers only. Has been called a sell out because of his irregular use of skin bleach. Smokes skinny cigarettes. Doesn't mind the touch of a man but insists he's not gay. A great Cajun cook. When he's surprised or runs into an old friend he says "I do Declare!" Smells of cheap perfume. Makes a hell of a fruit salad. Lived with the Apes of East Africa for three years in the 90's. Believes the Matrix is very REAL. Likes Popcorn, but hates Corn Pops. Thinks Bubble Yum is the work of the white man. Always willing to trade giggles with you.

*Note* We can't confirm if he really is the first King Vitamin.

Brotherism: 4.3

Hobbies:  Fruit by the Foot, Afro Sheen, Arm Foldin' and Soul Train .

Can Be seen At: Off Off Broadway, With Master Pee and Selling Glitter.

Hostility: 2

Favorite Group: Slim Shady

Quote: "Gimmie Five In The Black Hand Side"

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Brother #33: This Rap-A-Holic is a hard worker who takes his love for Hinduism very serious. Recovering wife beater. Likes to cry in public places. Says he made up Franks and Beans. Known to oil himself up and go out and pick street fights. Into midget tossing. Believes Isaac Hayes is his biological father. Was the electric boogie kid in the 1982 McDonalds commercial. Use to sing with Cathy Lee back in 91. Won a split decision from the "What you talkin' 'bout Wills?" trial of 1988. Smells of cocoa-butter and crushed almonds. Likes fast-food but slow deserts. Likes to push his lady friend around. Thinks Cheese Whiz is the work of the white man. Wants to learn how to move things with his mind.

*Note* Isaac Hayes couldn't be reached for comment.

Brotherism: 9.1

Hobbies: Defacing Property, Jell-O Shots and Crotch Grabbin'.

Can Be seen At: Chapstick commercials, an Extra in EVERY Black Film, Eddie Murphy's House.

Hostility: 7

Favorite Group: Jane's Addiction

Quote: "What we do in life...Echo's through out ETERNITY!!!"  (From Gladiator)

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Brother #34: Likes to pick his teeth. Winner of the 2001 ear ring contest. Is a good reader and excellent speller. He  talks the talk and walks the walk. Says he was the original Dr. Evil. He's now in court and still waiting for the outcome. Some days he just can't stop peein'. Got on drugs just to see if he could kick (worked out fine). Smells of a new car. A great cognac sipper. Calls Heroin "Heer Ron." Spends most of his nights ripping off tourist. Accused of stalking Meg Ryan. Thinks Coffee Cake is the work of the white man. He can giggle for 1 hour 37 minutes and 16 seconds. Not a worlds record, but impressive none the less.

*Note* Lost his court case against producers of Austin Powers. Currently appealing. (Last Update 4-25-01)

Brotherism: 6.9

Hobbies: Line Dancing, Thinking and Winking from across the Room.

Can Be seen At: In a Talk Show Audience, with Mike Myers and Butt Surfin'.

Hostility: 3

Favorite Group: Not Elvis Costello, Regular Elvis.

Quote: "Why ask for Trillions??....When we can get Billions!!!!"

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Brother #35: Believes a real man would never cry. Into the art of fighting without fighting. Has naturally even eye brows.Believes man-kind should police themselves and the strong should rule the weak. Won star search four weeks in a row. In his words, he beat all those "Candy Asses." Loves all his brown liquors on the rocks. Got shanked in the yard. Smells of  kick ass and take name later. Known to the neighbor hood ladies as "Rough Love." Coined the phrase "Take a chill pill." Thinks the "other white meat" is the work of the white man. Into illegal cattle porn.

*Note* "I seen him cry on a few occasions, in-fact I would say he cried a lot." -Older Sister

Brotherism: 9.0

Hobbies: Grand thief Auto, Meanism, Arts and Crafts and Homicide.

Can Be seen At: Jail, Lip-Sync night at Club Snooky's and in a Mug-Shots.

Hostility: 9

Favorite Group: Peabo Bryson

Quote: "You brung this on yourself girl!"

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Brother #36: Loves bubble gum lolly pops. Into forehead crunches. His friends call him "Even Stephen." His name is NOT Stephen. Can squint a perfect 20/20 vision for 47 feet. He thinks happy thoughts. Named his daughter Beyonce. Graduated at the top of his class in Cat Burglary. Loves Arab food, but hates Arabs. Brushes after every meal except brunch. Into feet and believes in most magic tricks. In an on-line message post he once asked, "Is Rice-a-Roni just a San Francisco treat?" He got 296 negative responses. Smells of processed food. He's a four star dog groomer. Thinks two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun is the work of the white man. Likes to scribble scrabble!

*Note* "No such thing as forehead crunches." -Gold's Gym

Brotherism: 6.5

Hobbies: Pig Latin, Wet Willies, Double Dutch and Bacon Bits.

Can Be seen At: Electric Slide Contest, Belly Dancing and with Paul Simon.

Hostility: 4

Favorite Group: Bell, Biv and also Devo.

Quote: "Who Let The Dogs Out?"

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Brother #37: Those roses are from his very own garden. Really into sensitivity. Loves a good pipe after a meal. Always does things in stereo. Helped to catch the Zodiac killer. Use to have sport sex with Rosie O' Donald. On the beef only diet. Into choking his lady while they hump. This recovering bully is a great bimbo seducer!  Believes blondes DO have more fun. Has a keen sense of wit, but a slow learner. Smells of Peanut Oil. Starts trouble on Broadway often. Thinks Pig Feet is the work of the white man. Really Really Really likes white women.

*Note* "I believe he hired someone to work on his garden." -Neighbor

Brotherism: 7.9

Hobbies: Opening Ketchup bottles, Rancid Meat, Dry Tee-shirt Contests and Milk Mustaches.

Can Be seen At: Woodstock, Bible Study and Freaknic.

Hostility: 2

Favorite Group: Right Said Fred

Quote: "Are you gonna sit there until my arm falls off.....Or are you gonna take this rose?".

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Brother #38: When he leaves a room he says "Hasta La Vista Baby."  Actually calls his mother "Mama." Sings in the church quire. Stuffs his crotch with a sock. To him, it's all about cheap cologne and collard greens. Known to his friends as "The Voice." It was said he earned that name cause he once out sang Whitney Houston (Mrs. Houston could not be reached for comment). Likes his Vaseline greasy and his white women sleazy! He's been a deacon of his church since 1979. Smells of Sunday Dinner. Wears white gloves to bed. Thinks Potato Skins are the work of the white man. Likes to drop a tab of  X and cut up hookers.

*Note* Mrs. Houston is currently suing him for slander (Last Update 8-20-00)

Brotherism: 7.7

Hobbies: Grave Robbing, Hunting Vampires and Chia Pets.

Can Be seen At: The Holy Trinity Church of Jesus Christ Resurrection All Glory Holy Ghost in the Name of our Lord Church of Gawd.

Hostility: 1

Favorite Group: Lil' Bow Wow

Quote: "Jesus on the Main Line......Tell 'Em What You Want!"

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Brother #39: Loves to write poems about friendship in his spare time [see quote]. Gives bad oral. Once shook George W, Bushes hand. Think Arsenio Hall is the man! He is a Blood but, not because it's cool but because he means it.  Helps old folk across the street, but charges for his time. He's a people person but spends most of his time alone. Currently trying to create his own breakfast cereal. Likes to go from neighbor hood to neighbor hood to look mean and beat up kids. Smells of trouble makin'. Seen the movie New Jack City over 278 times. Thinks Shrek is the work of the white man. Always pours out a bit of beer for his dead homies.

*Note* We found his poems are lyrics from old records. Mostly from the 50's and 60's.

Brotherism: 5.2

Hobbies:  3 Train Face Slashings, Bangin', Slangin' and Power Skipping.

Can Be seen At: County Jail, Tupperware parties and with Tribe Called Quest.

Hostility: 8

Favorite Group: Billy Joel

Quote: "What kind of ship will be there 'till you sail...Friend-SHIP!"  Thank you....  -Brotha #39

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Brother #40: Believes if you focus you can see the angels. Had enhancement surgery for his neck because he doesn't want to be choked or put in the sleeper hold (it's worked so far). Plays congas for the local youth center. Into tap, modern dance and pointe. Thinks he invented the Lime Jelly-Beans. Once told Scott Baio where to "shove it where da sun don't shine." Likes wild rice and chick peas. Hates Martin Lawrence with a passion. Says he'd have a more prosperous life if he lived in Africa. Graduated top of his class for mammal hunting. Won the national brownie back off of 96. Held in Compton CA. Enjoys wedgies and tight underwear. Smells of herbs and berries. Refers to eggs as "weabos". Once ate Polar Bear meat. Thinks America is the work of the white man. He named his son Malcolm Luther X.

*Note* Scott Baio was arrested for choking him in a L.A night club. ( Bailed out 7-2-01)

Brotherism: 6.1

Hobbies: Watching the sun, V-necks and Sewing his own clothes.

Can Be seen At: Civil Rights Rally's, Toys for Tots and Ruff House Records.

Hostility: 1

Favorite Group: Arrested Development

Quote: "Who makes you guys shirts?"

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Brother #41: Makes his lady call him Sire or Your Highness. He did a few straight porno tapes back in the 70's. He's going for the Satan look. Thinks that whole mad cow thing is a scam. Takes bathes in oatmeal and butter milk to maintain his skin glow. Walks with a cane that has a removable top, he has cocaine in the top. Says his chest is a 9 1/2 on a scale of  1-10. Use to have sport sex with Vivica A. Fox. Says she couldn't keep up with him. He's now trying to get a restraining order against her. Got beat out for the lead role in the movie Gladiator. Not bitter about it. Smells of Aroma Therapy. Stood in for John Goodman on the Roseanne show. Thinks Apple Crumb Cake is the work or the white man. Will do Movie nudity.

*Note* Ms. Fox was re-arrested for violation of restraining order on 11-25-00. (released on house arrest)

Brotherism: 9.4

Hobbies: Finger Painting, Lipo-Suction and Cross Dressing .

Can Be seen At: Nude Practice, With Sweet-Meat Leo and working with Nas.

Hostility: 4

Favorite Group: Teddy Pendergrass

Quote: "Your My First, My Last......My Everything!"

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Brother #42: Known around his neighbor hood as "King of the Midget Tossers."  Once did a stunt for Damon Dash in a Jay-Z video. Loves mint tea but hates mint gum. He yells at the wall for 1 hour a day. Says it help with his anger. Has a keen sense of smell. Will head bunt you in a fight. Eats BBQ everyday. Got his degree in Arts and Crafts. Can sew his way out of any jam. Really fascinated with paper cuts. Wants to use it as a weapon. Smells of Domestic Abuse. Wants to have a fist fight with Will Smith. Thinks Hot Sauce is the work of the white man. Co-wrote the theme some to the intelligent yet funny hit sit-com Malcolm & Eddie.

*Note* Currently serving 90 days for head bunting Danny Glover in a New Jersey shopping mall.

Brotherism: 6.1

Hobbies: Cheap Wine, Arson, booty videos and Casual Sex.

Can Be seen At: Tuff Guy Events, Kickin' Asses and in his Garden.

Hostility: 9

Favorite Group: Ice Tea

Quote: "I Get A Little Mean When You Mess With My Green."

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Brother #43: Will roll his eyes at you when he doesn't like you. His friends call him "Worm."  He insists that he does NOT perm his hair. Does everything in black and white. He says it's a tribute to old school. When it comes to love makin' he finishes fast. Addicted to power bars and diet pills. Winner of the 1999 curious look contest. Sings high notes like a lady but is all man! Knows how to make shrimp fried rice from scratch. Says he invented Bunji jumping but would never do it. Drinks 40.oz cheap beer in front of his parents. Smells of to much BET. Likes to be called curse words by his lady when they do it. Thinks Windows 2000 is the work of the white man. Likes crunchy cheese doodles. Calls sex "Knockin' Boots."

*Note* Couldn't find a record of the "Curious Look Contest" anywhere in his state.

Brotherism: 4.7

Hobbies: Lip Grease, Bird Watchin', and Bison Burgers.

Can Be seen At: The VD Clinic, peeling potatoes and Hanging around The Boys Club.

Hostility: 7

Favorite Group: Troop.

Quote: "My Internet Provider Is So Poor, I Got Married Just For The Rice."

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Brother #44: Smokes cigarettes to impress his friends. Found out where baby's come from at age 22. He's says he's cool with that. Winner of the "Turn your head to the side" pageant of 89. Use to have sport sex with Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez. She burned his house down first, nobody cared. Has the biggest movie collection on the east coast. Speaks with an Irish accent when he's mad. Has bad feet, but great hands. Knows how to make homemade bacon. Co-wrote Missy Misdemeanor Elliott's first album. Said "She Sucks" until her album went #1. Tried to get Vibe magazine to print a retraction before Timberland seen it. Smells of Cat hair and double sauced meat-loaf. Once ate a dog food on a dare. Thinks this web-site is the work of the white man. Likes his lady Ashy and Gassy!

*Note* In no way are we associating being mad with the Irish.

Brotherism: 9.2

Hobbies: Talking to himself, Funeral Tryouts and Assaulting the Homeless.

Hostility: 4

Can Be seen At: The Projects, Drawing Circles and with Vinnie from Naughty By Nature.

Favorite Group: Kool-Moe-Dee

Quote: "If I made a web-site, would I be cool!?"

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Brother #45:Likes to do your thinking for you. Got kicked out of the "What'sssss Upppppppp?!?!" crew. Likes small dogs and big cats. Refuses to wear platinum or drink expensive Champaign. Use to have sport sex with Kim Waynans. Hums while he makes doo-doo. Wants to beat his kids when he has some. Plays kick ass drums. Enjoys the occasional cyber sex encounter. Smells of gym socks. Got struck by lightning and went out to a club later that night. Thinks Sesame Street is the work of the white man. Loves sheet cake and cheap pencils.

*Note* "We did it once or twice, but it was wack so I deaded it." -Kim Waynans

Brotherism: 5.6

Hobbies:  Old English 800, Cheap Wine, Hard Drugs and Anal Ticklers.

Can Be seen At: Be-Be's Kids, Dog Fights and Tennis Club.

Hostility: 8

Favorite Group: No Answer

Quote: "Who tracked mud on my nice clean rugs? You guys have to leave soon. I mean it, interviews OVER!"

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