** "Damn me for what I did, if you wish, for saying yes to her proposition; but at the time, all I could feel was time running out. The finest months of my life, my time among the Rangers, were running out of the hourglass with increasing speed, and as I couldn't tell William what I had done in his name, at least not yet, desperation was beginning to show in my actions, and my words.
And then, the telepath crisis burst upon Babylon 5, and in its passing, a great man died; one of my kind, a martyr to a cause that would eventually light a flame brighter then any might suspect. And as I was both favoured and unlucky enough to fall victim to her plot first, it fell to me to observe the dark walls of fear from the inside.
But I survived the fall because of *her* help, I suppose. And while I was never able to reclaim what I once had, what I found as a result partly made up for the loss..."
- Brianna Tolmanes, as quoted in the Earth Year 2266, after the end of the Telepath War
* * *
December 27th, 2262; the second hour after midnight, local time.
Tuzanor, Minbar.
The cold was biting into her now, but Julia did not move. Did not move to warm herself, for warmth was *not* what she had come here to find. Did not act to turn away from the memories, for they would help to guide her in the life that still lay ahead... shapshots of what were. There was no time to go over the entire year in her mind, for the hours were slipping by, and all too soon, the great sun of Minbar would shoulder its bulk over the Eastern horizon, and it would be time for her to leave this place.
Snapshots of what were; that was all she had time for.
And so...she had touched on the memory of her mother's new destiny; a destiny that Mother had told her about the previous day, when they stood together atop Gajn'darahl, and with the water thundering around them, and told each other secrets of the soul. Had touched on the beginning of the journey to William's final resting place, and the reasons why; *that* was unfinished, as of yet...before the dawn, there would be time for that tale to be laid to rest in her mind.
Indeed, she had *no* choice in that matter.
But for now, it was time to turn to another matter; the matter of the third member of William's original triad; and *this* tale was one of greater sadness then any other she knew...
* * *
Late June, 2262. Babylon 5.
For now, she walked alone, unbidden by any thoughts but her own. Reflections on what had happened in the past three years; her freedom, her service to the Rangers and to William...and her dark promise made to Bester, the year before; a promise that had allowed the Rimstalker and his team to escape the trap the Psi Cop had set for them. If she had not made the promise she had, then that trap would have sprung, and forevermore, she would have had their deaths on her conscience.
And that, of course, couldn't be allowed; in fact, she wasn't *yet* sure if she wanted William to know about the bargain. And yet...could she, with good conscience, simply vanish from sight? That might involve William dragging an enormous number of Rangers into a search for her, again...and that, also, couldn't be allowed. So what was the solution to the problem she had?
A sad shake of her head was all the curious passerbys noted, and this was wise of them. Not many knew of the history of this sad-faced, red-haired Ranger who walked in their midst, and that was for the best. Most of them would not have believed the story if they had known...of how the famous White Star Fleet commander William Westcastle had rescued a deranged, insane telepath from her fate, and taken her with him into the heart of the Fire; through the darkness, past the shadows, and into the greatest victories in a thousand years?
But that was past, now; in fact, while Jennifer had asked her to act as William's first officer on the White Star Four in her place, for now, even *that* duty had been set aside. William had been drawn to Tuzanor to deal both with matters of his coming position there on the Ranger High Council, as well as his wife's advancing pregnancy. Amazing that was, to consider that in only three more months, William's children would enter the world she had helped to create for them. Would they ever know what their parents had done, to give them that world? The sacrifices they had made?
For now, that was a question best left unanswered. In their parting, William had given her broad powers to go with his command where she would, in the service of their Entil'zha...for she was, by now, a senior Ranger as well, a seasoned veteran of the Shadow and Civil war conflicts of the last two years, and a Val'na in her own right. And so, not giving reasons, or having them required of her, she had brought the White Star Four back to Babylon 5, for several, very different reasons.
For starters, she had wanted to come back simply to enjoy the freedom of what they had all helped to create. For in this, the first year of the Interstellar Alliance, the station continued to serve as a focal point for many of the crises in the local galactic region, including the recent, mysterious attacks on Alliance shipping and even military ships, as well. Sooner or later, the alliance of friends and comrades that President Sheridan had built around him would find out the truth of the matter, and when that happened, she feared the recrimination against the guilty party would be extreme, to say the least.
At the heart of it, she feared that this was simply an example of the realities they faced; remove one darkness, and another would come to replace it. William had told her, once, of the secret that few knew; that before the destruction of Z'ha'dum, a gigantic fleet of dark spacecraft had escaped from the doomed world, and vanished, destination unknown. Some of those, the Drakh, had reappeared the previous year...but their Entil'zha had acted to destroy *that* force. But were the Drakh more then they seemed? And did they have a hand in the attacks?
She also knew that the President, Delenn, William and all the others would learn the truth on that score far sooner then any of them would like, but at the same time, it was, unfortunately, time for her to begin facing realities of her own. 2262 was now almost half over, and when year's end came, regardless of what she wished, the promise she had made to Bester the year before would have come to fruition. She would have to return to the base that William had freed her from (although *that* was not entirely accurate, she had refrained from telling him this, *so far*) and give herself over into Bester's hands, as one of his loyal assistants.
That had been the second reason for her return, here. She would see Shival, and all the other Rangers under his command, for what *might* be the final time; for when it came time to say goodbye to William, the place would probably be Tuzanor, with his wife and newborn children at his side. This place had meant so *much* to her, over the years...it would be difficult to say goodbye...very difficult, indeed.
But it *had* to be done.
And the third, and possibly the most important reason she had come, was to once again meet with someone who had never really been a friend to her; an accomplice, yes, when Ulkesh had threatened them both...a partner in manipulation, yes, that was also true...but never a friend. And they had both suffered change, at the hands of the Vorlons; even now, if she so wished, she could move through the Alien Sector needing no breather, at all. And the mental enhancements the Vorlons had given them both were also a key concern...or, perhaps, a liability was sometimes more accurate. She hadn't gone as far in their service, hadn't pushed herself as far as Lyta had, for very good reasons, as the Rangers had taken up so much of her attention.
But now, maybe it was time that *changed* a little. And if anyone could show her how this might be, it was Lyta. Lyta, who had suffered more then any telepath had a right to; who had acted in the names of so many, the President, and others...been used when she shouldn't have. And Lyta, who still grieved at the loss of her love, Byron; another telepath who had once served Bester, a telepath who had died to further his cause. If she could give Lyta any comfort by coming to her in her time of need, then that was, perhaps, an another reason for her visit, here.
If comfort was at all possible, in a situation such as this one, she decided, as she arrived in front of Lyta's quarters. But there had to be *something* she could do. She would try to help, in any way she could.
And having decided that, she reached out, and touched the intercom.
"Yes? Who is it?" Resentfulness; sadness. Understandable.
"Lyta...it's Brianna. May I come in?"
Without a pause, the door slid open, and she stepped into the gloom beyond. Almost the only lights in the room were the candles scattered indescrimately here and there; and in the corner, a pair of liquid human eyes reflected those candles, beneath a presently unruly head of hair coloured not unlike her own. And then those eyes caught her own, and it began.
<He died for them; even if they didn't understand, he died for them. *I* understand; he made me understand. There was a time when the Psi Corps tricked me into becoming their tool again, Brianna; never again.>
A nod. <I understand completely. One of the reasons I came back here was so you'd have someone you could talk to about this; someone who wouldn't use the information to his or her own advantage. We've been through so much, together and seperately, it only seemed right for me to do this.>
A small nod, and then the two wordlessly embraced. Not a close embrace, but a knowing one...an understanding one, and in the course of that embrace, months of images were shared, images of what had happened, first hand, and after a few seconds, she raised her now tear-filled eyes and gazed into Lyta's, and nodded. <In Valen's Name...*now* I understand what you've been through...I'm so VERY sorry I couldn't help you; but the Rangers...the White Star Fleet>
Lyta nodded, both in thanks, and more. <Don't expect me to like that answer, but I do understand...for now, you have your masters, too. But despite all that, you have no idea how much this means to me; a small part of me was hoping that you might come, so I could tell you, make you understand. None of the others understand, they couldn't possibly know *why* I'm going to do what I have to do, only that it's necessary. You should know, so that...William and the others in the Rangers aren't surprised by it, when it does happen.>
<What the Vorlons did to us is something we're going to spend the rest of our lives understanding, Lyta. You're going to push the envelope, so to speak...I both envy and worry for you, because for the simple reason that Kosh trusted you with the power you represent, more then Ulkesh trusted me with mine. I've gone as far as I can go without help from an outside source; the way *he* wanted it.>
<Of course.> A flash of brilliant eyes. <That was his nature, after all. Untrusting; he saw us only as tools.> A pause, and then Lyta's eyes narrowed. <You're hiding something from me, Brianna; that isn't wise, if you want me to continue to trust you.>
A brief moment of shock; and then she ruefully nodded, and as the walls came down, Lyta's eyes went wide with echoed shock, and then with outrage. <I wasn't sure if you'd want to hear about this...but maybe, you're the first I should tell, before William finds out, which will happen sooner then I like, in any case.>
<That BASTARD! That double-timing, double-crossing, darkhearted BASTARD! He had NO right to do this to you; this is almost *worse* then what he's done to me over the years!>
<I know; and yet, at the same time, while I'm strong, he's still a little stronger, Lyta. I can't fight him; I promised him I would come to serve, to save William's life! And if I don't show up when expected, all Bester has to do is reach out his hand, and the life of a man I've served with for years, now, could be snuffed out in an instant!>
<Of course...> Lyta muttered darkly, as they sat down next to one another. <He would suggest that; and as you now are, there's no way you could prevent William from coming to such a fate. All he would have to do is overwhelm their defences with his Bloodhound shock troops, and move on to destroy all those you care for, simply because you resisted him. This is not an option you should take, Brianna; but there is *another* option.>
<Am I...going to like this option?>
A smile twisted the corner of Lyta's mouth. <Maybe you will, maybe you won't...and I'm *quite* sure you won't enjoy the process, but as you suggested a few minutes ago, after Byron died, I've begun to push the limits of what I'm capable of. I could do you a favour, Brianna; a favour that I expect to be repaid, when the time is right, which won't be soon. We have to move slowly if we're to succeed; and then, when *he's* not expecting us to, we can strike; both from the outside...and, if we're lucky.
From the inside, as well.>
It took a moment for what Lyta was suggesting to strike home, and then her mouth formed into a o. <Oh no! Now wait a minute, you can't possibly be suggesting...>
<Look into my eyes.> Lyta suggested. <Look deeply, Brianna; and see the future and the past. And *remember*.>
* * *
A moment of cold; icy cold.
An image of fire, and of fear. Of a face she knew, twisted in a terror it had never displayed in life, never displayed until the end now arrived at. And of a Greek sigil, broken and melted, destroyed forever...
<<Only a dream for now...but look how many dreams have been given form, given purpose, if enough cared to bring them to pass. And if one great Leader could sacrifice all to make it happen.>>
A flash of light, and of dark. Of herself, in a tube, surrounded by fire, and by instruments arcane. Of pain...and change. <<They did this to us?>>
<<Yes. Both of us. It took Byron to break down the walls. Now, I've done the same for you. We have to go beyond what we were, beyond and above. I'm a servant, you're a Ranger; but after this, can either of us be what we were, any longer?>>
<<No.>> So very *easy* to say.
<<Then learn your *true* potential.>>
* * *
After a time, she came back to hereself, and met Lyta's knowing, faint smile. <Did that really happen?>
<Yes...and *now*, you know. I didn't know if this would work, but maybe what the Vorlons did to us both, helped. In any case, when you need to, and when the time is right, you will be able to resist his advances, and his orders. But until that time, I have to ask you to do something you don't want to. I have to ask you to obey the deal that you and Bester have made; and while I understand that William and all the rest of your friends may hate you for your choice, and turn their backs on you, perhaps forever, that has always been our lot, in life...to be hated, and despised by all for reasons even they don't properly understand. And to hide the gift I've given you, until the time is right to use it.
But given enough time, and enough planning, and enough courage, we can change all of that. We can tear down the walls that were created, so long ago, and end the lies. It's the only way, Brianna...because if we fail, then Bester and all of his dark-uniformed soldiers will eventually come to rule the Earth Alliance with a fist harsher then President Clark's. I won't let that happen, and neither should you. Together, with you on the inside, and me on the edge of sight, eventually there'll come a time when we can take him down, and all the rest; he's hurt us both, and no one, even he, is beyond justice.
Will you help me, Brianna? Do we have a deal, stronger then his?>
The decision she made then was both the easiest and the hardest she had ever been forced to make.
But she made it; and in the end, despite the pain it would cause, the distrust, the lost hopes...in the end, what Lyta had said to her had been the truth. The long run mattered more for the telepaths of Earth, and it WAS up to both of them to do something, while they still could.
But it still hurt. Oh, *Valen*...it HURT.
* * *
Another meeting, another place.
"Report."
"Of course, sir; you may be interested to know that the Ranger telepath Brianna Tolmanes arrived at Babylon 5 less then 24 hours ago to meet with Lyta Alexander. I was unable to determine what the meeting was about, but I *was* able to gauge her strength, sir; this is the most critical matter of all. It is eminently clear that Miss Tolmanes continues to increase her telepathic level. Indeed...I suspect that if she were rated, we could not possibly rate her any less then a weak P12, now."
A pause. "I see; interesting. However, as you well know, she will not, *cannot* break her word to me, if she wishes Westcastle to survive. And with the esteemed Ranger hero of *every* conflict between here and the Rim currently in good health, and his dear children on the way, I assure you there will be no problem on this score. Indeed, Miss Tolmanes's strength will not be a liablility to us once she has sworn oath; she will make an ideal member of the Corps, if all goes well."
"Of course, sir. I will continue to watch her, and when the time is right for her to join us, I will act as you have instructed."
"I would expect nothing else from such a trusted operative. Very well, then, until next time?"
"Sir." With a brisk nod and touch of a key, the connection was cut.
It was, indeed, unfortunate that neither of the two men who had just conversed had any idea what they were getting themselves into in the few years that remained to them, in their beloved Corps.
No idea at all.
* * *
To be continued;
Next: It is a revelation of the darkest sort, and a fall into darkness and despair seen in prophecy. It is the Fall of Centauri Prime, and as Jennifer approaches the end of her term, William will ride with Sheridan and the White Star Fleet one final time, before passing on to what may be his final destiny at Minbar. "Fire and Darkness, in the Night" the fifth part of "The Walkers in the Darkness" coming in about 24 hours or so...